It’s been two weeks since my fight with Michael. We wrapped Twilight and we had a movie-wrap-celebration-party where literally everyone who stayed past 12 am got really high. Seeing Catherine drunk was hilarious, although she continues to refuse that that ever happened. We finished recording the two songs that Catherine requested Rob to sing for the soundtrack, and Wyck was preparing for the premiers. Over all, everyone behind the camera was busy with getting together the final piece, and everyone in front of the camera was the most relaxed we’ve been since we signed on to movie itself. We spent the last week just hanging out with each other, the gang went o Ash’s house yesterday night and we spent the day at Taylors the previous day. We all spent most evenings at my place or Robs. Rob rented a small cozy little apartment but had great music there, and I always cooked for all the guys. Once the gang left, I’d usually just crash at Robs place instead of driving all the way back to mine. Rob never dared to mention Michaels name since that night, but he never left my side, and he’d freak out if he got the slightest hint that I was upset. I think the way I reacted that night scared him a little bit, he’s seen me cry before but not like that. I was chopping up onions for dinner one night when Rob came in and grabbed a glass of water. He noticed that tears were spilling out of eyes and I was sniffling, he obviously didn’t put two and two together and processed the fact that I was cutting onions. He just looked at me for less than a second and dropped his glass of water and ran over to me taking me in his arms and was frantically murmuring “It’s okay love” “Your fine, your fine, I’m here, Shh” and other things like that. I turned around in his arms and showed him the chopped up onions. He started laughing and kissed my cheek softly.
“You scared me Kris! Tell me when you’re chopping your onions next time before I break another one of your glasses” he chuckled and helped me clean it up. After we finished eating and did the dishes, I joined Rob in the bedroom and took out my laptop. Just as I pressed the on button, the screen showed that I had 26 unread emails, which was a norm these days. I opened up my email and sent all the 26 emails to junk without even looking at who sent it.
“Why do you not ever check your emails? What if it was me telling you there was a cat stuck on top of a tree?” he looked at me with Edwards crooked smile.
“There’s so many things wrong with what you just said Rob” I said rolling my eyes at the screen.
“Hey!” he said grabbing my waist. “It’s a perfectly rationale situation!”
“Yes Rob, for you it is”
“What’s that supposed to mean Kirsten?” he said pulling me onto his lap. I stayed put and rested my head there instead, looking up at him. He was running his hands through my hair, pushing my laptop aside.
“Kris, I know Michael called you the day after…you know…um…I didn’t want to mention it because you looked really upset afterwards and I didn’t want…to make it worse for you…but…” He took a deep breath and stroked my cheek with his thumb. “All I’m asking you is that…if you’re alright” I touched the hand he was stroking me with.
“Rob…Michael…I…I didn’t tell you did I? I was planning to, but I didn’t get a chance” he was holding his hand with both of mine, and he kept stroking my hair with his free one.
“No you didn’t”
“Well, okay so he called me the day after and…”
“And what, love?”
“So he calls, and he told me that he overreacted and that he’s sorry and stuff” He brushed another tear away.
“Well that’s great Kristen, why are you still so upset”
“Because I hurt him Rob”
“What? Hey sweetheart, Shh” I was shaking in his arms by then. I managed to get myself together for a few more seconds.
“He told me he was so sorry, and that he just got caught up by the media, and Rob? He said that he’s never made such a big mistake, and…he l-loves m-me.” I took a deep breath in and exhaled. “He said that he never wanted to lose me again and that he’s been hurting since he left me in the rain. He said that I’m the most precious thing he’s ever been blessed with and he’ll cherish me forever. He s-said t-that h-he will n-never let m-m-me g-go” I was crying really bad. My whole body was shaking as if I’d just had a seizure.
“Kris? What did you tell him?” he said taking his hands away from my hold and bringing my face closer to his.
“I told him that he didn’t ever need to let me go by himself. I told him he didn’t need to lose me again by himself; he didn’t need to hurt because of what he’d said to me anymore. I told him he didn’t need to love me anymore”
“Why Kirsten?” his voice was a barely audible whisper
“Because Rob, he doesn’t deserve this. He doesn’t deserve watching me like this this. It hurts him every time he sees me. Rob he…Michael deserves to be loved and cherished by someone that’ll bring him happiness, not give him pain. I told him that, and Rob his eyes were full of tears. I’ve never seen him cry before. His eyes were red and…and…Rob it’s all because of me, yet the saddest part is, I’ll give him even more pain if he’s with me than without me, yet what I saw in his eyes as I was telling him that, Rob seeing him, seeing anyone like that is excruciating” I whispered, drenching his shirt with tears, he just pulled me closer and held me there. “I let him go, but I don’t think he’s done the same with me yet”
“Kristen, I see your view and maybe you’re right, maybe you’re wrong, but Kris, I know you, you would never hurt anybody, you would never let anyone hurt and not do anything about it. Kris, Michael is hurting, and you are too because of that. Why are you doing this Kris? There’s something more, I know there is, I’m here Kris, tell me” he traced the outline of my lips softly and carefully, making the slightest contact with my skin. He locked his gaze on mine and looked nowhere else. I was trapped.
“Michael deserves someone that will return his love, Rob” he nodded but his eyes were still searching mine.
“You love him Kristen”
“I know Rob, I love him, but…”
“But…Hey Kris look at me” I took my eyes off him so I could think, but he brought them back to his.
“I love him, but Rob, don’t you see? I’m not in love with him. I thought I was, I thought what we had was everything, I thought that the love I’ve had, and still do, for all these years was real. And it is, but not in that sense”
“And you realize this now…?”
”I know what love is now. I know how you feel when you’re in it. I know how you react when you’re given it. I know how you protect it when it’s in danger” I lightly touched his face with my thumb, as he’d done, and he smiled, a smile that was so genuine it made my heart flutter, but now, I didn’t have to ignore these things anymore. He had a questioning look on his face, as if he was experimenting. He let go of me completely and scooted back a foot. He looked up to see my reaction, and apparently I’d given him what he wanted to see. My face fell a bit when he backed away; he took in my expression and inched closer, but only the slightest bit. His mouth twitched a bit when he saw my face lift, but he controlled it and resumes dis serious face. He had his eyebrows furrowed upward and his eyes were full of ice blue intensity. He slowly stretched out his hand but let it hovering a millimeter away from my lips, my heart rate picked up, and he was close enough to see my throat, the place where my ever racing pulse quickened at the sight of him. He soaked in every part of my face with eyes and left them lingering at each part for two seconds, then moved on to the next. When he got to my eyes, he held me there for more than his two-second ritual, he held me for a very long time. He then made his way downward an when his eyes settled on my slightly parted lips, he came closer to me. He then made contact with his hovering hand on my bottle lip and lightly pushed it downward then moved his hand to my cheek cupping it. He did the same with his other hand. I drew in a quick breath and he smiled exhaling directly on my mouth. He was really enjoying the way I was reacting to him. He brought his lips over to my left ear and whispered to me in a tender, gentle voice.
“I’ll never let anyone hurt you like that again” and he placed his lips on my earlobe, then to my jaw, tracing a pattern with his lips, he made his way to my throat, then the point of my chin. “Ever” he said then locked his soft lips on mine and crashed my body against his. He took me in with everything he had and held me as if he’d have to let me go any second. He softly traced the outline of my lips with his tongue and caressed my hair. I felt everything he was feeling, and for once, I could show him, I didn’t have to hide anymore. I was free.
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Hey guys, I hope you all are enjoying how the story is progressing. Without you guys, I'd have to inspiration to write, and its because of all of you i reached 1.75K!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU SOO MUCH!!!! Some of you are thinking that my story is almost over, but you guys are toally wrong!! I have a lot more ideas and a lot more chapters to write, so hang in there!
Love
~*Sadika*~