It's Thomas asking me if I have gone to sleep, saying that he has just found the time to write me and that he will enter another meeting and he doesn't think he'll get to write me again until I fall asleep. I tell him that I haven't gone to sleep yet and, checking the time, I notice it's already past 11 o'clock. I add that I'm gonna go to bed soon and we end the conversation with him wishing me "sweet dreams" and me wishing him to have a good day at work.
Joon notices my mood change and gently fondles my hair again.
"Are we going back to the hotel? It's been a long day and you're probably tired."
I smile and I nod, feeling at peace that he's not asking me anything and that he's not forcing me more than he knows he should for the time being.
Thomas' messages have brought me back to reality, but from the moment Joon takes my hand again on the way to the hotel, the emotion of his touch makes my desire come back.
The sexual tension is obvious in the elevator, but we know that it's not the time to make another move. This is how I feel and he seems aware of it. Before I step out at my floor, he embraces me for a few seconds and he softly kisses my lips.
His eyes are calm and soothing.
"Good night, Anne," he whispers. "Dream about me."
"You too," I playfully respond and I wave at him, and then exit the elevator, quite hesitant, but this time I don't turn around for one last glance, knowing that if I did, I would go back to him immediately.
I hear the sound of the elevator closing its doors when I'm almost in front of the door of my room and my heart hurts. I look back and there's nobody there, so I enter my room, full of sorrow, but at the same time relieved. Relieved that I haven't crossed a border that would have made me feel guilty, but I think that the regret that I'm feeling now is even greater. The desire to be with him is so strong and I throw myself on the bed, burying my face in the pillow, laughing and wanting to scream at the same time.
I go from one mood to the other, but what I'm feeling the most are the butterflies in my stomach when I remember his touches and the kiss that I'm playing all over again in my head.
I go to the bathroom absent-mindedly and I turn on the water in the shower, letting minutes go by in the same state of dreaming and reliving of sensations. After that, I look in the mirror and I see the reflection of a woman with a bright face, living an adventure full of passion and care, as she wishes she would be living every single day. I see the face of a happy, desired woman, who also desires a wonderful man so much that she keeps on laughing, dreaming of those touches and soft lips.
I change into a T-shirt in my room, but when I check my phone, I've got a message from Sabine, who lets me know that we'll see each other in the morning, ending with a blushing emoji. I'm glad that she's living her story without having to think about the consequences or the regrets. She's simply living it and I love it that she lets herself get carried away by her feelings without any reservations.
I check what's on TV, but my mind is completely away. I stop at an American movie again, but I constantly find myself thinking about Joon. I have no change of falling asleep too soon, and this amuses me again.
Soon, I get a text.
"Are you asleep?"
I start laughing. I'm glad I'm not the only one suffering from insomnia and that he's probably as restless as I am.
"No. I'm switching TV channels. Are you ok? Can't you sleep?"
"I can't sleep because I keep thinking about you and my blood is still rushing through my veins."
His honesty makes me giggle like a child. I feel the same, but I wouldn't have the guts to be that open about it.
"I understand you perfectly," I answer, nonetheless with courage.
"Take Sabine and come down to get some ice cream from the store."
"Sabine is not coming <home> tonight."
"I'm a dead man..."
I laugh again, realizing how he feels: we're two horny people, each sitting tight in his room.
"Let's go have that ice cream, I'm flipping out in here; if you refuse, I'm gonna come and break your door."
"Don't you think that a cold shower would be better for you?"
"I've tried. It doesn't work. Come in front of the hotel in 5 minutes."
"Ice cream at this hour? It fattens you up!"
"I'm gonna break your door!"
"Enough! Enough! I'm getting dressed right now."
"You're naked?! Screw ice cream! Open the door!"
"Noooo!!! I've got ugly pajamas, you wouldn't like them. I'll put on something decent and I'll get down. Leave my door alone!"
"If it's that ugly, I can get you rid of it. For free!"
"I'm already in the elevator. Meet you downstairs."
I quickly put on a loose, below-the-knee skirt, over the T-shirt that I was ready to sleep in, and a blouse that I zip all the way up. I'm already in the elevator, tying the shoelaces on my sneakers, when I realize I haven't gotten anything on me but my phone and my room key.
I'm not coming back anymore, knowing that he won't let me pay for the ice cream anyway, so I get down, but there's nobody in the lobby, so I get out of the hotel and I spot him there.
He has his hands in his pockets of some dark jeans, wearing a black T-shirt and a jeans jacket. He has this fixed look, almost wild, and when he sees me, he comes directly towards me and, taking my face in his hands, he kisses me so passionately that I immediately feel how I'm melting in his hands and how I'm more turned on than ever. He's so tall that I rise up on my toes to be able to circle his neck with my arms. Our bodies are pressed against each other's and I can feel his excitement pressing against my tummy. Seeing that he's just as turned on as I am gets me going even more and I start moaning.
"This is not good at all..." he tells me in a hoarse voice without letting go of my lips and we hardly catch our breaths and we simmer down, leaving a little space between us. "We're gonna need a lot of ice cream and maybe even an ice bath."
I giggle at the extreme solution that he's come up with.
"Maybe even eat ice cream while having an ice bath. I think that would work."
He looks at me and raises his brow.
"If we'd be in the same bath, all the ice in the world would melt in no time..."
We both laugh and he takes my hand as we are heading towards a store close to the hotel, and then we walk through Gwanghwamun Square, each with a cone of ice cream in his hand. It's way past midnight, but neither of us feels sleepy and, without planning out a certain itinerary, and being lost in our stories, we finally end up again in front of the hotel.
"Spend the night with me," he tells me, holding me in his arms on the pavement in front of the entrance.
I sigh because I know that a big part of me wishes for this to happen, but rationality comes from behind, trying to stop me.
"I know it's not easy for you to make a decision without feeling guilty about something one day, but I think that now I truly want to hold you at least than to let you go alone to your room. I don't want to force anything, but I want to fall asleep next to you and to wake up at least once next to your face."
He looks me in the eyes, waiting for an answer, and he insists:
"I won't even take my clothes off. I'll sleep in what I'm wearing right now and you should do the same, so that I can keep my promise."
His tone amuses me, but I'm inclined to postpone this decision for a little while. We know that he'll be leaving for Tokyo in two days and that I won't probably see him again, but there are simply too many things going on in my head.
"I don't know if I am able to keep myself from making you break your promise," I admit, burying my face in his chest, feeling him sigh, and when I look at him again, he bites his lower lip in a devilish smile.
"You're killing me slowly," he honestly confesses.
The glimmer in his eyes and the way I look at him are enough to spark up the flame again and there's a tension that grows with every second that we spend looking into each other's eyes.
"Ok," he says out of a sudden, looking ahead, right over my head. "Let's sleep, each in his room."
He takes my hand and we enter the hotel.
I sense how we are avoiding to look at each other, because we both know what might happen if we did, but at the same time, in this mad silence, we listen to each other's breath getting deeper and deeper. I see him smirking from the corner of my eye, as he's probably amused by this mood and, at the same time, he agitatedly runs his hand through his hair.
I don't know how I still manage to control myself, but I'm sitting on thin ice and my heart is pounding so hard that I feel like I'm running out of air.
The elevator announces my floor and I feel his hand squeezing mine a bit harder for one second, until the doors open. I let go of his hand without looking at him and I exit the elevator. I need some reasonable, safe physical distance between us to wish him "Good night". There, in front of the elevator, with him standing on one side of the doors and I being on the other, I turn to him:
"Good night," I tell him softly, almost like a whisper, feeling my heart pounding.
His glance is like that of a predator and I see that he's serious and that, at the same time, there's a fight inside of him. He frowns and, out of a sudden, he makes a step towards me and, grabbing my hand, he pulls me back into the elevator.
"Fuck it!"
And saying that, his lips make me surrender to a hot kiss and a hug that gets me burning like a torch. The doors of the elevator close behind me and it continues its way up to the 23rd floor.
Without separating from each other's lips in our maddening kiss, we reach his room door that I don't even realize when he opens, but there, in the room hallway, he presses me to the wall, making me his prisoner.
His hands are contouring the shapes of my body like a sculptor, as if wanting to memorize them, and his lips bite mine in the moment his hands touch my breasts.
"Oh, God," he moans and in that very moment I realize that, from all the rush, I had forgotten to put on a bra underneath the T-shirt I had put on for sleep. And he has just discovered it.
He looks me in the eyes as if asking for my ultimate approval, but his glance full of desire makes me want him even more. Seeing right through me, he immediately takes off his jacket and in one moment he sets me free from my blouse.
I hang onto his shirt, pulling him closer to me, and we start kissing again with the same earning, out of breath.
He pushes me to the wall with his pelvis, making me feel how turned on he is and I moan again, while I urge his lips to taste the hollow at the base of my neck, as I feel the tip of his tongue drawing wet burning lines on my skin. He has a hand on my hip, keeping me pressed against him even more, and his other hand caresses my breast through the baggy T-shirt. He grabs my nipple with his fingertips and gently pulls it, moaning at the same time with me. Out of so much pleasure I thrust my fingers into his back and I feel his body tightening, which makes me explore the skin I've longed so much for, sliding my hands under his T-shirt and lightly touching his waist.
My touch makes him even more daring and his lips find my erect nipple and he starts to bite it lightly through the T-shirt, that's become all wet because of his greedy mouth. I thrust my fingers into his skin and I moan, letting my head back, knowing that I'm doomed.
I'm dizzy out of so much pleasure and his hands do nothing more than get me higher and higher with each touch, onto a realm of pleasure that I don't remember feeling ever before in my life. His fingers go down pressing over my breastbone, my ab, and, without hesitation, they pass the elastic band of my skirt and without stopping they go lower than the band of my panties, discovering how wet and full of desire I am.
He gives out a hoarse, animal-like moan, and he looks up to me, maddened.
"Do you want me as badly as I want you?"
I nod approvingly and I kiss him again, and my hand goes over his jeans, wanting to get a confirmation of his erection as well.
All this time he does nothing more than dangerously play with a finger over my clitoris, slowly inserting it in me, making me give out a scream of pleasure that stops right in my throat, and I answer him by stroking the swelling over his jeans, feeling it throbbing under my palm. I can barely control my body, that's completely in his hands now, and with a last bit of concentration I reach the button and the zipper on his jeans and I undo them both, freeing my way to his erection. The moment I moan because I feel how hard it is in my hand, he pulls me up, putting my legs around his waist, leading me to the bedroom, where we almost collapse on the bed. I take my skirt off in one movement and he gets rid of his T-shirt, revealing his smooth chest and all that stretch of skin that I want to touch so badly. He spreads himself on the bed next to me and he continues from where he left off and I, enjoying his smooth skin, leave my hands to look for it again under his jeans zipper, wanting him closer, wanting him in me as quickly as possible.
After a maddening game of tantalizing circles, his fingers continue their rhythm, getting in and out of me in a bewildering movement, when, out of a sudden, his lips part from mine and I feel him down there, instead of his fingers. When his hot tongue touches my clit and then he starts to suck it and lick it, I lose myself completely in a strong moan that does nothing but encourage him. I don't even know when he got rid of my panties, but I take my T-shirt off and his hand makes his way to my breasts in a moment, massaging them at the same time. He keeps on tasting me with his tongue and lips and when all of this vortex is joined by his magical fingers that get in and out of me in the same frantic rhythm, I feel how I am overcome with heat and shivers from all over my body and I explode, starting to quiver with pleasure.
His kisses don't stop, but they go up slowly on my ab, towards my breasts, a little bit more simmered down now, leaving me time to catch my breath. He slowly kisses my breasts, going from one to the other, as he gently and slowly fondles them. Then his lips find mine and slowly kiss them, as if he tasted them.
If he thinks my orgasm has cooled me down, he's wrong. The desire to feel him inside of me is getting even stronger now and my hand gets past his underwear, feeling it with my whole hand, slowly caressing it and exploring the veins that are almost exploding. He's moaning in my mouth and his kiss becomes greedy while he manages to free himself of his jeans and his underwear, getting on top of me as I immediately get to feel him hard on my ab. He quickly puts on a condom and starts to lightly rub the head of his penis on my clit, teasing me, and he looks at me gently, but full of desire. It's a look full of pleasure and a mix of feelings that make me feel...loved.
Seeing that he's playing, entering me a bit then getting out immediately, rubbing his head again on my wet vulva, my lips open again in a new moan, but we never take our eyes off each other. I can feel a hot breath coming out of his half open lips and fondling my face and it's like he is waiting for me to urge him to put an end to this hallucinating game. The fourth time he enters me I thrust my fingers in his hips, pulling him hard inside of me, and he enters me forcefully, making us both moan hard and close our eyes, feeling all the pleasure around and inside us.
He kisses me again and starts moving at a stronger electrifying pace, with rare motions at the beginning, but picking up the pace more and more, until I'm gasping for air and shivers overcome my body again and I explode around him and he moans, tightening his body and coming at the same time. We remain unmoved for a few seconds, hugging and lost in our tired panting, and then he raises his face above me and passionately kisses me again as if our life depended on that kiss. He steps back for a moment to get rid of the condom and he comes back to me in an instant, pulling the blanket over us and immediately taking me into his arms as he kisses me again, stroking my hair. I'm the prisoner of his hug and every now and then he kisses my forehead, my hair, my cheek and then tastes my lips again.
"I can't get enough of you," he whispers while looking me in the eyes.
I stroke his smooth cheek and I follow the course of my fingers with my eyes as they are contouring his face, wanting to never forget it.
"Here in this room, everything is so perfect now..." I whisper. "You're so perfect."
"I'm perfect for you, just like you are perfect from all points of view, but above all, you're all that I could want."
"What has brought us two here?" I softly ask.
"Choices," he tells me, kissing my eyes. "Are you happy?"
His question is simple and the answer is way too obvious for me to deny it.
"Yes," I whisper.
"I'm happy too that you're in my arms. I've told you that if you let me choose for you I'm gonna make you the happiest woman in the world."
And he goes on jokingly:
"If I had let you choose, now you would have been in your room, watching TV, and I in mine, taking a cold shower or rubbing one off in the bathroom."
I start laughing sincerely and I tell him he's right.
"Do you need anything? Water? Are you hungry?"
He asks me softly, but I cuddle deeper into his chest, touching with my cheek his smooth skin that I feel like I'm starting to get obsessed about. I close my eyes, feeling exhausted.
"I need nothing, I'm very well the way I am now."
He kisses me again on the forehead and on the top of my head and he realizes how tired I am. There, in his arms, where's so nice and warm, I immediately fall into a deep, dreamless sleep, as if it were the most normal and pleasant thing that I could have done in my entire life.
*******
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