I'm lying here. With no chance to move. Still unsure if they aren't lying to me. Sure, they're worried about me and care for me...but this whole situation...is just complicated. All what I've been through, all the people that betrayed me. I don't who I can trust. I don't even know if I can trust my own senses anymore...after all this halucinations, visions and nightmares. I don't see what they see. I'm not in the reality anymore. My vision starts to fade and enters another area.
What do they want from me? Why don't they run from me? What are they wondering? What do they even know?
I stand in a dark gray room...one part lighted up a bit, the other one covered in the shadows. And I'm standing right between them...undecided which path I should follow...
The lonely path with no betrayal? That one in the shadows?
Or the path with a lot of people...that can still betray me? The one with the light at the end of the tunnel?
Why aren't they scared of me? Why do they even care for me?
What if they're only playing a crazy game with me? They could do everything with me! And I wouldn't be able to defend myself...because of how broken I am...
It's like I would I ask myself: When we all fall asleep, where do we go? There's probably no answer...it doesn't matter what I do, something's gonna be wrong...
I'm like their pet to which you say: "Come here..."
But I know that there is more than only concern.
"Say it, spit it out, what is it exactly?"
"You're payin'? Is the amount cleanin' you out? Am I satisfactory?"
I would want to ask this questions and get answers...but how I said earlier...there's probably going to be the same answer, unsure if it's a lie or not...
But the dark path literally calls for me...
Today, I'm thinkin' about the things that are deadly
The way I'm drinkin' you down
Like I wanna drown, like I wanna end me
These are my thoughts...
It's a risky game...I know...but...
It's like stepping on the glass or stapling your tongue. You cry out with an "Ahh". Because of the pain, or in this case, because I loose my sanity.
Dark or light? Bad or Good?
Bury a friend or trying to wake up?
Cannibal class and killing the son?
Bury a friend or I wanna end me?
So many questions...and too little time to answer all of them...
I wanna end me
...wait...
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna... end me?
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna...what do I wanna?
Do I really wanna end me? Wait, I don't want to go that far...I don't want to be seduced by the shadows of my past.
What do I want from me? Why don't I run from me?
What am I wondering? What do I know?
Why am I not scared of me?
Why do I care for me, when I'm thinking over such terrible things?
When I fall asleep, where do I go?
"Keep you in the dark, what had you expected?"
The light warns me again and again.
"That the dark will steal you away from us and uses you to its art and make you a star. And you really think that it will get you connected?"
But the shadow calls out for me...over and over and over again.
"I'll meet you in the park, I'll be calm and collected"
"But we knew right from the start that you'd fall apart...'cause I'm too expensive!"
It's right...it's very expensive...once you're in...you will never really come back to the light...
It's probably somethin' that shouldn't be said out loud...honestly, I think, if I have done that, I would be dead by now...wow...
If I could, I would be calling security, keepin' my head held down, bury the hatchet or bury a friend right now...
But this choice doesn't really matter here...
For the debt I owe, gotta sell my soul...'cause I can't say no, no, I can't say no. I just can't do it.
Then my limbs all froze and my eyes won't close...and I can't say no, I can't say no
"You need to choose a path, Nathan." I hear a voice in front of me. I know that it's my younger self, the one with the glasses...that I've met in my nightmare...
"One will bring you back to my reality, and the other one, will make you a heartless monster...but choose wisely, Nathan. Be...
Careful." then he comes to me, from the other side of the room. He didn't choose an answer either.
"It's because I'm you Nathan, everything you do, I do. The choice you make, is the one I make." he removes his glasses and steps closer so that are standing right in front of each other.
"Step on the glass, staple your tongue."
"Bury a friend, try to wake up?"
"Cannibal class, killing the son?"
"Bury a friend, you wanna end you?"
"Choose now Nathan..."
Do I wanna end me?
Do I wanna, do I wanna, do I wanna... end me?
"No...I don't..." he raises an eyebrow
"What?" he doesn't answer. Why doesn't he answer?!
"What do you even want from me? Why don't YOU run from me? What are you wondering? What do YOU know, huh? Why aren't you scared of me? Why do you care for me? When we all fall asleep, where do we go, huh? You are me! Aren't you scared of what path I will choose?!" his expression remains the same.
"ANSWER ME! WHAT'S ALL THIS FOR?!" he punches me in the face. I fall to the ground, holding my bloody nose.
"Don't ask me a question in this tone, ever again." he looks down at me, still with the same expression.
"For what was that now??" I look at my hand, expecting red blood. But my blood isn't red...it's black. I stare at the blood in disbelief.
"Nathan, when you go the path of the shadows you will become a lonely monster. I'm sure that you don't want that. They maybe betrayed you, but they learned their lesson. Give them a second chance." he offers me his hand.
"But how can I be sure that they won't betray me again?" I take his hand and he helps me to stand up.
"Nathan, they are your friends. You know that they would never harm you without protest. They were forced to do this. Just like you were forced by NateMare to harm Matt."
"Wait, what?! I harmed Matt?!" I step back, hitting the wall.
"Oh yeah, you don't remember that..." he rolls his eyes.
"Wait what do you mean?! I only know that my friends kidnapped me. They never mentioned that I harmed Matt!" he sighs and comes closer.
"They didn't mention it because they don't know that you did it. After Matt was rescued, he was put into an artificial coma. He doesn't remember anything. Your friends weren't there when it happened."
"T-Then how do YOU know about that?"
"Because I saw everything. I was inside of you, watching, waiting, monitoring your every move. I saw everything that happened." I can't talk, I just can't...
"But enough with the Chit-Chat. You need to choose a path now." he steps back and turns around.
"Where are you going?!" I want to run after him. But he immediately stops.
"I'm gonna leave the choice to you, Nathan. You're our future. I can't choose our path, because I already did." then he continues to walk away again.
"Wait! What did you choose? Nathan! Come back!" I yell after him, but he's already gone.
"Left or Right? Light or Shadow?" I whisper. Then immediately Nathan's words are coming in my mind.
"Nathan, they are your friends. You know that they would never harm you without protest. They were forced to do this." the words continue to echo through my mind. But I know which way I choose....
I turn to the light path and walk towards it. As soon as I touch it, I feel something grabbing me from behind. I look behind me and see myself, only with completely empty, black eyes, staring at me like in trance.
As soon as I see myself, it throws me back and on the shadow's path. I try to get up but it grabs me by my throat and drags me down the path of the shadows.
"NO! I DON'T WANNA! LET ME GO!" I yell, trying to squirm out of it's grip, but it's fruitless.
"You and I got a one-way ticket to hell..." it mutters with a glitchy and deep voice.
Then I feel a bunch of hands around me. As soon as they start to drag me down faster, my vision goes black. But I'm not unconscious...I was blindfolded...
I really got now a one-way ticket to hell...