Since today's my brothers birthday this nigga wants me to cook for him. He's inviting a few of his friends and everything's gonna be at his house. I just have to go there and cook.
I'm in the store right now getting eggs cause he forgot to get them. Dumb ass. I gave him a list and he still didn't get everything.
I sighed as I pushed the cart. I started thinking about my baby. I really want him or her to have his or her father in their life but, after all the shit that I went through with that him, I don't know how and if we can. I'm afraid he'll convince me to stay with him and beat me again or he won't believe that this is his baby.
Nelson told me that he doesn't think me and Jordan need to have anything to go with each other but he thinks I should at least tell him that he's gonna be a father. I can't just pretend that my baby's father doesn't exist. What am I gonna say when the baby asks for Jordan? I'm not prepared for shit like that at all. I love this baby so much already, I really do, but I wish it wasn't by Jordan.
I sat the eggs in the cart and then I grabbed my stomach. The baby started kicking me. This baby kicks every time I watch old videos of me and Jordan or whenever I eat peaches. The kicks don't hurt so I think they're happy kicks.
I smiled as I placed my hands on my stomach and looked down. "What you so happy about, baby?" I said out loud.
"Marianna?" Oh gosh. I didn't think I would hear this voice ever again.
"Jordan?"
He came closer to me and wrapped his arm around my waist. He started rubbing my stomach. "Is it mine?" I nodded as our eyes met. "Is that why you left?" He asked me.
"No, I didn't know." I said before backing away from him. "It was nice seeing you." I started pushing the cart but he stopped it with his foot.
"Wait, can we talk? Have lunch, dinner, or something?" He asked me. "Please? I just-"
"Jay, who is this?" Some girl asked Jordan. I raised my eyebrow in confusion as to who she was.
"This my girlfriend, Marianna. The one I was telling you about." But who is she? When is he gonna tell me who the fuck she is? She looks real familiar though
"I'm not ya girl." I said as I rolled my eyes at him. "Now excuse me."
"Just answer my question and then we can go wherever you wanna go, baby." He calmly said. "Look, we're having a baby."
"Are you serious?" His hoe said, upset.
"Fine." I gave in. "I'll have lunch with you, now move!"
He moved his foot and I walked up front to pay for my eggs. He followed me the whole time and even paid for the eggs. He walked me out to my car.
"Baby-"
"Why are you even talking to me right now? Just leave me the hell alone." I was about to open my car door but he grabbed my arm and turned me around so that my back was touching the door and I was looking up at him as he rested his other hand on my car window.
"Mari, I'm not fuckin' playin' wit yo ass! I haven't seen you in almost 6 months. I'll see you later." He leaned in and he kissed me. I can't believe I actually kissed him back and damn I loved it.
He pulled away and looked at me for a little while. He started walking away. I didn't even know that girl was still right here.
"Catch the bus home or some shit." He said to her before walking to his car.
She looked at me and I looked at her.
Fuck it! I gotta ask her. "Where do I know you from?" I asked her.
"Went met at Smoke's house. Remember me and you fought that night. Smoke kicked me out and cut everything off with me. I haven't heard from him since."
"Oh, yeah I beat ya ass. I remember you now. You look so much better without the purple hair." It's true. Her hair was shoulder length, it was black, curly, and beautiful.
"Thanks, I guess." She said before sighing.
I guess I'll give her a ride since I beat her ass. You see I can beat yo ass today and give you a ride home 5 months laters. "Come on. Where am I taking you?"
She smiled and then got in the front seat. I found out a lot of things about her. She said her name is Stacy, but she goes by Sparkle. She was a dancer and she met Jordan three months ago at a bar. They've never had sex or oral sex, but he does beat her ass and talks very downgrading to her. She's 22 and she has an apartment in a really bad area.
"I'll see you later, or something like that?" She said as she got out of the car.
"Yeah." I gave her my number and then I drove to Nelson's house.
"Mari, aye yo what the fuck? Why didn't yo ass answer the damn phone? A nigga is over here stressing cause you ain't answering the damn phone. If you not here to make the fucking food, who gon' make that shit?" He yelled
"Nigga what the fuck? You just want me here so I can cook some fucking food for yo fat ass? Learn how to cook!"
"But for real what took yo ass so long?"
I sighed "I ran into someone."
"Who?"
"Jordan." I mumbled
"Mari, you know I hate it when you do that shit. Speak the fuck up! Who?"
"Jordan." I semi yelled
"What? You ran into that nigga? What the fuck he had to say?"
"He wants to have lunch and talk about the baby."
"Cool. When we having lunch?"
"I don't know when Jordan and I are gonna have lunch!"
"So you gonna get back with this nigga Mari?"
"Stop asking me questions and let me cook yo goddamn food. If you wanna know so bad, go grab my fucking phone and ask him."
He shrugged "Shit aight."
I grabbed his arm. "Nigga don't do that! He'll come over here and rip yo head off!"
He chuckled. "Okay." I rolled my eyes as he walked outta the kitchen.
***
Someone knocked on my room door at Nelson's house. I assumed it was him.
"Come in." I said as I turned the tv down.
In came the woman who almost made me steal shit, whoop my ass, almost let her boyfriend rape me. If it wasn't for Jordan, her boyfriend would've raped me. Today is not my day.
"What the hell do you want?" I yelled at her.
"You're pregnant?" She looked at my stomach.
I placed my hands on my stomach. "What do you want? I made it very clear that I never wanted to see you again the night you almost let your boyfriend rape me. Why are you here?"
"Nelson told me you were here. He said you didn't wanna me, but I wanna ask for forgiveness."
"Forgiveness?" I chuckled "You told I'd never be anything but a hoe with a man who didn't give a fuck about me and I wouldn't care as long as I'm getting his dick. I ain't lettin shit go."
Nelson had came up along with two of his friends. I guess I was yelling.
"I'm not leaving! I know I did some fucked up shit but you're still my daughter!"
"YOU THINK YOU GIVIN BIRTH TO MAKES YOU A PARENT AND IT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO DO ANYTHING TO ME!"
"Ummm Mari calm down---" I cut him off
"The fuck you mean calm down? I'm out!"
I pushed everybody out of my way and walked to my car.
"Mari, chill." Nelson said tryna stop me.
I walked back inside. "Look, Nelson you ain't shit and you bitch," I pointed at her "you damn sure ain't shit. Don't fuck with me no more. Me and my baby will be okay. I don't need nobody."
I got in my car and drove home. I'm not the Mariana I used to be. I can never go back to here. I have the worst headache.
When I got home, my door was unlocked. I walked inside and Jordan was sitting on my couch.
"What the hell are you doing here? How'd you get in? How did you even know where I lived?"
"I got connections. I knew where you were lived, I just couldn't get in. So, I asked the landlord for a key and he wouldn't give it to me at first. We exchanged a few words and here I am." He smiled.
"Jordan, you're gonna get me put out!" I yelled
"Man, you don't even need to stay here anyway. You need to be at home with me and you don't need to be yelling, stressing our baby out." He said before grabbing my hand and and walking me over to the couch. I sat down and he took my shoes off and started rubbing my feet. "Pack your things and come home."
"No." This foot massage felt so good.
"That wasn't a question, but you right. I'mma pack it." He said as he stopped rubbing my feet and started walking to my room.
"No, don't stop." I whined as I grabbed his arm. He smirked before licking his lips.
"Gimme a kiss and I'll finish." I kissed him without hesitation.