'Lailah...beta wake up,' ummi said softly and I opened my eyes. I was exhausted.
'Yaz is here with your parents and siblings.'
I sat upright and smiled tiredly at their worried faces. Uzair was sniffling continously so I held my arms open, wanting to embrace him but Yazaar placed his hand on my arm. 'You can't...' he said and squeezed my arm but I shook my head.
'It's fine, it's just asthma.'
He lifted Uzair so that he could embrace me properly. 'I'm fine Zair...just tired. I had a long night habibi.'
I placed a kiss on his forehead and leaned against him lightly. 'What did the doctors say?' Yumnah asked softly, covering her face with her hijab.
'I had a mild asthma attack, it's normal.'
Ummi gasped and asked,'Is it because of the incense sticks?'
I shook my head and leaned back feeling exhausted. I wanted nothing more than to close my eyes and fall asleep.
Someone slipped their hand in mine and I thought it might have been Yumnah but when I looked up and saw that it was Yazaar, my heart jumped out of my chest.
'Let's give them space,' Thakir said catching my attention. His eyes were red and seemed to be filled with anger. 'Thakir...' I called just as he was about to step out. Yazaar left my hand and stepped aside so that my brother could come to me but he told me that it was better if we spoke later.
It was awkward and silent for a while until he cleared his throat and asked,'Are you okay?'
I smiled and nodded. He stepped closer and said,'I don't want you to go to Yemen.'
'Why?' I asked feeling myself get riled up even though I was afraid to go, I still had to see my brother.
'Lailah what if something happens to you? I am responsible to look after you and care for you now, if something happens...'
My breath had caught in my throat, hoping he would have said that he cared about me but when he finished his sentence I felt disappointed.
'...if something happens, everyone would blame me for allowing you to go and how would that make me look?'
'I'm going and you're not going to stop me. My brother is everything to me.'
He muttered stuff in his language before he threw his hands up in exasperation. 'Fine, go! But only if you allow me to come with you.'
I could not tear my gaze away from him.
Such beautiful eyes.
'No, it's okay. My brother will be with me at all times.'
He clenched his jaw before he walked out of the room without another word.
Yazaar is one confusing person, his emotions were all over the place and I had no idea how I would cope with that for the rest of my life.
***
'Lailah, wake up. It's time for Fajr,' I heard him say but I turned over and groaned.
'Lailah!' he whispered harshly and poked me.
The poking went on for a little while until I heard him walk out of the room. I took that as an opportunity to curl up into a ball and get comfortable.
I had nearly fallen asleep until the blankets got pulled off of me and water was splashed on my face.
I jack-knifed up in the bed and spewed the water out of my mouth before glaring at Yazaar.
'Ahmaq!' I growled and he smirked. 'Get up you little harami and pray,' he said.
I threw the blanket off of me and blew my hair out of my face only to realize that my hijab had fallen off.
You've been married for a few days and still you sleep in the head scarf.
He stared at me with his eyes slightly widened before he snickered.
'Something funny?'
He cleared his throat before he stepped closer to me and touched my ears. 'You have cute ears,' he said and touched the tips. 'It's big but it's cute.'
I rolled my eyes and got out of bed. I went to the bathroom to make perform wudu.
'You make me sooo angry,' I mumbled and shoved past him when I was done. He said nothing as he went inside.
I put my plain black Abaya on and laid down the mats.
By the time he returned I was finished with my sunnah namaz. His hair was slightly wet and his face too as he slipped into his white top.
I stood beside him as we prayed, it felt as if happiness was ignited within me. When we completed our prayer, I picked up our mats and removed my abaya.
'Would you like a cup of coffee?' I asked him and he nodded while texting on his phone.
Who are you texting so early in the morning?
I made the coffee and took our cups upstairs before opening the curtains and even though the sun had not risen yet, I waited patiently. It was something my parents had done after performing the morning prayer, we would wait for the sun rise together. To others it would have been insignificant but to my family it was as if we were reminded that we were blessed to be alive due to certain circumstances.
I sipped at the coffee and waited for the sun patiently.
'You won't get a good view from there,' he told me which made me turn to him with a smile on my face.
'Where then?'
He held his right hand out as his coffee was in his left. I hesitated before placing my hand in his and followed him to the back of the house.
His hand was warm and comfortable.
Lailah what are you doing!? Get your hand out of his! Right now! Look at him...you cannot trust someone like him! Khalas! Just enjoy the moment...stop overthinking shit Lailah.
I gulped when I saw him climb up a ladder to get to the roof.
'Umm what is this?' I asked and he smiled before gesturing that I follow him.
'Yazaar there is no way that I'm doing that,' I told him and he smirked.
'What are you scared?'
I shrugged. 'Yes.'
He stared at me for a little too long before clearing his throat. 'If you don't come now, you'll miss it.'
'Okay help me!'
When I was close to the edge he took my cup before setting it down and pulling me up. I ended up too close to his face and gulped.
See...first you hold hands then this!? What next?
I moved away very carefully and took my cup before sitting beside him.
'Best place to watch the sun rise,' he said randomly when it got quiet.
'Yeah, I can tell,' I told him, breathtaken by the sun slowly starting to rise. The clouds were puffy and perfect, the rays were perfect. This was perfect.
We sat quietly while watching the sun rise before he suddenly asked,'Why do you hate me?'
I chuckled. 'I am mean to you, I'm sorry but it's just, you've always been this happy person and I was jealous.'
He snickered. 'Me? Happy? You're delusional...I have to admit that I actually asked my parents permission to marry you, I don't know why I pretended to be all shocked.'
We laughed simultaneously before I raised my brows.
'Why choose to marry the girl that hates you?'
He looked before pulling a face. One that said "how do I say this carefully".
'Well you're different to the rest?'
I laughed rather to loudly. 'Come on, I need more than that. Okay fine, tell me whenever you're ready.'
We remained on the roof speaking about complete nonsense before going down. We stood awkwardly facing each other.
'Thank you,' I told him and my movements seemed robotic when I moved in to hug him. He smelled like fabric softener and coffee.
When he placed his hand on the small of my back I pulled away and walked inside.
Don't get to close...he is a man...he can hurt you...what if he doesn't want to? What if he truly has good intentions?
I sighed as I stood in the shower. This was confusing, I was certain that I confused Yazaar with my moodswings and actions.
Well...then just go with the flow.
***
When we got to campus, he took my bag out from the back of the car and basically threw it at me before running to the lecture.
I ran slowly right after him with my asthma pump in hand.
'The least you can do is wait Yazaar! Since you made us late!'
He slacked before holding his hand out and I took it firmly, my heart beat escalating at the contact. He scoffed while running, his hair bouncing up and down. It was as if he was in a Bollywood movie.
'Only because you showered long Leena.'
Yazaar slow down, my legs are shorter and heavier than yours!
We entered the lecture while still holding hands before sitting down beside each other. A female student whom I did not know nor recognize frowned deeply at us as more students glanced to see who was late.
The lecture ended half an hour later, just as Yazaar and I were packing our bags the girl showed up and crossed her arms.
'With all due respect, I don't think this is right. You wear the hijab yet you have a boyfriend and you are not ashamed to hold his hand in public! And what is the point of wearing the hijab if you are going to show a few hairs in front? What must people think?'
Huh? You have the guts to speak to me and also address my hair now.
I was about to speak up until Yazaar put his bag on his back and sighed.
'You're right, my wife should be very ashamed for holding my hand, her husband.'
She frowned again, her eyes traveling to our hands and when she saw the rings her cheeks reddened.
'I-I am sorry—'
Yazaar held his hand up, silencing her.
Woah that was weirdly attractive yet so rude. But still...attractive.
'With all due respect, you have no right to be jumping to conclusions and pointing out the wrong that everyone is doing because seriously you are a hypocrite. I have seen you chat it up with half of the guys at this university yet you find it problematic that she just held my hand. Also at least she is trying to wear hijab while you are not even trying,' he spoke fiercely, his English accent becoming more prominent,'So rather shut—'
I placed my hand on his shoulder and smiled up at him.
He visibly became more calm before turning to the girl.
'Rather focus on yourself than worry about others yeah?'
She nodded before walking away.
You defended me...sort of. Thank you.
I found sudden confidence as I reached up and embraced him. I heard him slowly inhale my scent as I did the same to him.
The coolness of my eyes.
I stepped away and cleared my throat.
The rest of the day was awkward and silent between us. We had agreed to visit my mother right after our lectures were complete.
Let's just hope the awkwardness would have disappeared by then.