Okay so after that tear jerker of an ending, who's ready to cry some more? I did tear up writing this chapter and the next chapter knowing that this book is so close to its ending.
~66~
Everything was silent as Clara stayed kneeling in front her brother. She felt that if she moved even the slightest bit, she would shatter like glass. Thor and Bruce had joined them shortly after Tony took his final breath as they tried to hold back their tears and wonder about what to do next. Wanda kneeled by Clara's side, resting a hand on her shoulder and lowering her head in sadness. Wanda knew what it was like to have lost everyone, and she hated to see one of her friends having to experience the same pain.
Strange opened a portal and Clara felt Steve leave her side. He had gotten up to help carry Tony's body off the battlefield. Bruce and Thor joined him and once they could do it safely, removed the stones from his corpse. Clara looked around to see Rhodey already helping Pepper up, knowing they'd have to leave at some point as well. They entered another portal created by Wong to give the grieving widow an easy journey home. She looked back at where Tony last was before lowing her head into her hands and allowing more tears to fall. Wanda continued to comfort her as she gently rubbed her back in an attempt to calm her down. She was happy to see her old friend, but the happiness she felt at seeing her old friend didn't last long as her grief took back over.
Eventually they had to leave the rubble of what used to be their home, so Wanda slowly helped Clara onto her feet. She was going to help walk her back, but Sam joined them and quickly wrapped his arm around her waist to help her walk steady. Like Wanda did, Sam gave her a sad smile. She wanted to say something, anything to say hello to her old friends, but nothing would come out. He helped her out of the ruble, passing by everyone who had aided them in the battle. She remembered the sad and sorry looks she received from Strange, Carol, Rocket, Nebula, and some other people who she had never met. From there, everything else seemed like a blur.
The next thing she knew she was sitting on the edge of the bathtub in her and Steve's shared bathroom. Steve gently kneeled down in front of her, his hair still damp and a fresh smell following after him. He had already showed and cleaned himself up, making Clara wonder how long she had been home for. In reality, Strange creates a portal to their home and Sam and Bucky followed them. It was already the night.
Steve took a damp wash cloth and gently pressed it to her forehead, the cool water sending chills down her spine. He began to gently wipe her forehead with it, cleaning off the sweat and dried blood. She stayed still as he helped wipe away the dirt and grime left on her body before he bandaged up a cut that she had gotten on her upper arm. Clara's eyes lingered on Steve's bandaged arm, remembering the large gash he had received after being hit by Thanos' sword. Steve noticed her staring and calmly said, "I'm fine. Bucky helped stitch me back up." He let out a sad laugh before looking back at Clara and noticed she wasn't listening. His heart broke seeing her like this. "Clara?" He asked, but she only seemed to stare right through him. "Sweetie?" He tried again, placing his hand gently on her cheek.
Clara stared blankly at the floor, making Steve sigh. He knew she was in pain, so was he, but he knew his pain was nowhere near hers. He walked over to their bed and laid her down.
Around mid-night, Steve shifted in bed. He hadn't slept, not even close to it, but he did noticed the bed felt empty. He woke up and walked through the hallway, passing the guest rooms where Sam and Bucky had stayed, until he reached the living room. Facing the empty fireplace sat Clara. Steve turned the corner of the couch to see that she hadn't even noticed his presence. Her mind was somewhere else. The only thing she would see when she closed her eyes was her beloved brother's lifeless body. At first she was in denial, knowing that she had lost him so many times before and he would always come back. But she knew the truth, and the truth killed her. Steve draped a blanket over her shoulder and led her back to their bed in an attempt to get her to sleep, through they both knew it wouldn't come easy.
A few days after the snap that destroyed Thanos, Bucky and Sam were doing their own spectate things while Steve had gone to get some groceries. He didn't leave without protesting against leaving Clara alone. Hell, she hadn't changed out of her clothes in almost a week, how could he expect she'd be fine on her own. He'd practically feed her so she wouldn't starve. The dark circles around her eyes only got darker as each day passed by and she barely moved from her spot on the bed.
Clara ended up pushing him out the door, telling him she would be alright. So there she was, all alone, except for Miles who kept her company. She crossed her arms over her chest, trying to sink in her sweatshirt as much as she could as she slowly walked through the living room. Her eyes began to water when she saw a picture of Tony and her sitting on the mantle. Next to it was a picture of her with Pepper and Morgan and next to that was one of her and Tony with their parents. Trying to find something to clear her mind, she went over to the sink to clean up a few dishes. As she cleaned the dishes, flashbacks from her childhood filled her mind.
Tony walked his younger sister to the entrance of her school building, her tiny hand in his. "What if the other kids don't like me Tony?" The six year old was about to start her first day of first grade and was scared.
"Don't be silly Clar," her fourteen year old brother kneeled down beside her and wiped his finder under her eye to dry her her tears. "Anyone would be lucky to be your friend."
"Can't I just stay with you?" She asked.
Tony chuckled softly before shaking his head. "Not today Clar." Tony's answer made the little girl's lip stick out in sadness.
"You can't leave me Tony," she said as she pouted.
Tony sighed in defeat as he thought of what he could do. "Tell you what, I'll be standing right here when you get out."
"Right here?" Clara asked, pointing to the ground.
"Right here," Tony repeated. Clara smiled, a smile that Tony was always happy to see. If her father wasn't going to make no her smile, her big brother was going to no matter what. Clara hugged her brother goodbye before scurrying off to the entrance. She turned back to see Tony standing with his hands in his pockets. "Right here." He repeated.
Clara lifted a hand over her mouth as she gasped, trying to hold back her tears before more memories filled her mind.
Clara stood with her hands together, tears falling softly down her cheeks. Her quiet sniffles were covered by the sound of bagpipes. She looked up at her brother, seeing his broken expression as officials lowered their parents into the ground. After Clara had looked from him to their parents, he slowly wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer to him. Clara placed her head on his side, feeling a slight bit of comfort from her brother.
Clara realized it was starting to get harder to breath as more and more visions of her brother filled her mind.
The strange looks of her classmates as he danced with her at her 5th grade father daughter dance because their father was too busy to attend.
The look of panic he wore when he was teaching her how to drive.
She saw him smiling at her from the crowd as she got her diploma from MIT and giving her a thumbs up.
Seeing him for the first time at her wedding and having him walk her down the isle. The smile he gave her was the biggest one she had seen from him in years. She remembered the tears he tried to hide from her as he walked her down the isle.
Watching him smile for the first time in a long time as held his baby daughter.
Seeing him transform from the selfish billionaire he once was to the selfless hero he will always be.
The sound of a glass cup shattering drew the mourning sister out of her frozen state. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her legs gave out, sending her to the floor. She tried to catch the counter before she fell, but she wasn't able to in time. She fell to her knees, hitting the wooden floor covered in glass. Tears fell down her cheeks as she let out a cry of pain. Her heart broke as she gasped for air. She pulled her knees tightly into her chest almost like she would be protected that way. The world around her seemed to go silent as she was having a panic attack. She screamed and cried and tried to let her emotions out, but none of it would bring her brother back.
She didn't hear the front door open and the bags fall to the floor as Steve entered. He called out her name and rushed to her side, stopping when he saw the broken glass. He kicked it away with his boot to prevent Clara from hurting herself before kneeling down in front of her. He placed his hand on the side of her face, brushing away the hair that stuck to her face. "Clar, you need to breath." She tried but it didn't work as she began to cough and gasp for air. Steve placed his other hand on the other side of her face to try and get her to focus on him. "Look at me doll, just focus on me." His eyes widened as he tried to get her to look. She met his eyes and began to breath in and out. Those damn eyes always seemed to calm her down.
"It...it s-should..." she tried to speak but it seemed worthless. She wiped her nose with her sleeve of her sweatshirt before looking down at her hands. "It should ha-have been m-me." Her voice was only above a whisper.
Steve hushed her before wrapping his arms around her. "Don't say that." He said, but Clara pushed away and looked down at her hands, trying to avoid eye contact.
"He has always given up everything for me and I never...." She stopped, still trying to catch her breath. She wiped her eyes one more time, still avoiding eye contact. "He never wanted to die." Her heart broke as she thought about Morgan growing up fatherless. She thought about how selfish she had been in not taking Pepper's feelings into consideration and comforting her in her time of pain.
"Clara," Steve starting, putting his hand on her shoulder as he used his other one to wipe away her tears, his warm skin bringing comfort to her. "Tony would have done it over again if it meant that you and Morgan and Pepper were all safe. You can't blame yourself for his sacrifice. It was his choice to save you, to save everyone."
Clara was silent before she started to cry again. "I just can't believe he's gone," she choked out. Steve held her tightly as she let out all her tears again. The quiet kitchen was suddenly filled with the sound claws pattering on the wooden floor before it quickly stopped. Clara felt something on her legs and opened her eyes to see Miles resting his head on her lap. A soft laugh escaped her lips as his huge eyes stared back at her. Steve smiled softly at the first laugh he had heard from her in a long time. Clara gently pet Miles' head before she started to get tired. Steve gently put his arms under her legs and lifter her up in his arms before carrying her to bed where she fell asleep for the first time since Tony had passed.