I opened my eyes and groaned. I tried to sit up, but the head began to spin and I collapsed back down.
"He's awake," I heard someone behind me say. "Should we put him back under?"
I tried to twist to see who was talking, but there was a sudden intense pain in my back making me moan with pain and freeze up. My vision was sharp at the edges from the pain, and I barely felt as a cold hand touched my temple and cheek, pushing my head back onto the pillow.
The hand twisted my head to the side, exposing my neck. I felt a sharp jab on my neck, and within a few seconds my body went numb. The pain faded and my eyes slipped closed again.
I had been taking a nap when the intercom blared in my ears. "Romanoff?" It was Tony. "He's awake. I thought you would want to know." The message cut off. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and sat up.
I stood up, looking around the room. I had been lying on a couch, which Tony had led me back to after we had first led Loki to the hospital 'wing.' Tony and I had talked for a bit about what had been happening for the past few months. I had never been close to Tony, but he was easy to talk to.
I wondered how long I had been asleep as I trudged back toward the hospital wing where Loki was.
I arrived at the door and peered through the small window. I saw Loki sitting up on his bed. He had a loose-fitting black shirt on. A tired expression was plastered on his face. He looked exhausted.
I opened the door, and he didn't even look up to see me enter. He stared at the floor in front of him like I wasn't there.
I walked up to him and sat on the frame of the bed, close to him. He still continued to stare ahead, his eyes blank. I summoned enough courage to reach over and touch his face. He blinked suddenly and his eyes cleared. He looked over at me and the corners of his mouth began to turn up.
I felt the corners of my own mouth pinch together as I fought to contain a smile.
Loki's smile grew to his eyes. I sat on the bed next to him and embraced him. Relief washed over me as he hugged me back. I buried my face in the crook of his neck, and he flinched as my fingers touched his injured back.
I pulled away from him and said in a hushed voice, "sorry."
"It's okay," he responded, his eyes soft. "You saved me, didn't you?"
I shrugged like it was no big deal. It was mostly Thor, anyway.
Loki's face moved a little closer to mine and my heart started pounding. If I knew anything about men from my years of experience being a spy, I was sure he was going to kiss me. I think I would have obliged if my eyes hadn't flickered toward the corner of the room where I saw a camera. Anyone could be watching. What would they think? What if one of my friends found out?
I turned my head away to stare at my lap while simultaneously tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I flushed a deep red color as blood rushed to my face in embarrassment.
I glanced over at Loki. He was staring at his lap, too. "How are you feeling?" I asked, feeling guilt stab at my stomach.
"I'm ready to go home," he responded, his eyes flickering over my face to read my expression. I felt my mouth pinch together again in a smile.
He gave me a small smile in return. I stood up and he followed, though his face twisted in pain as he did so.
"Are you alright?" I asked, concerned. He steadied himself and nodded.
We headed toward the lobby with me in the lead. Loki kept tugging at the collar of his loose shirt as if it was uncomfortable. I'm sure any fabric against his injuries wound hurt, so I didn't blame him.
Happy Hogun was waiting in the lobby when we got downstairs. He looked tired and bored as always. He informed us that he wound drive us back to my house.
The car was silent on to way to my house. Loki stared out of his window. By looking at him, I could see his healing injuries creeping up from the collar of his shirt and up the back of his neck. They were ugly and red and I'm sure very painful.
I looked at him. I wondered how much he had been through. Was this even the worst of it?
About ten minutes later, we pulled up to my house. I thanked Happy and began to leave the car when Happy added right before I got out, "Tony wanted me to let you know that he's hosting a Christmas party this weekend on Saturday. He hopes you'll come." I nodded, suddenly realizing it was almost Christmastime. Time was flying.
I then left the car and followed Loki inside.
Loki was standing in the living room/kitchen area, sighing with relief.
"Good to be back?" I asked with a small laugh.
He nodded, "you have no idea."
He then turned away from looking at the living room and kitchen to stare at me. He looked me up and down and grinned.
"What?" I asked.
"Thank you..." he hesitated, "for coming to Asgard for me. For rescuing me."
"It was mostly Thor," I insisted. "I couldn't have done it without him."
He shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Of course, him too. But he gets more credit than he deserves. For everything. He has plenty of thanks from everyone else. I'm thanking you."
I smiled, feeling good about myself. Loki made me feel like I hadn't been completely useless on my journey to Asgard.
I sidled up close to him and looked up into his eyes. "Well then... you're welcome," I said softly. I wanted to thank him myself, but I don't know what I would be thanking him for.
I wanted to thank him just for being here, but I would die before I ever told him that.
I searched his eyes, knowing this time we were alone - no cameras here. His lips parted and I think mine did, too. My heart was pounding, blood was rushing in my ears.
Loki then leaned close, but he stopped maybe 3 inches from my face. His mouth spread into a smirk and he pulled away from me. "I'm going to go shower," he said quietly, an amused expression on his face. He grabbed one of my hands and squeezed it before heading to his room. I stood in the kitchen by the front door, my mouth gaping.
Did he seriously just do that? I think I would've been angry, but I found the whole thing funny. I rubbed my hand across my forehead and eye, unable to stop smiling.
I collapsed on the couch and played on my phone. After about ten minutes, I heard a call from Loki's room, "do you have any bigger shirts?"
I furrowed my eyebrows and called back, "what?"
"Do you have any looser shirts? These are all too tight."
I sighed, stood up, and headed down the hall to his room. I knocked once, "can I come in?"
"Yes," came his reply. He was shuffling through the closet looking for a shirt. He didn't have a shirt on now, so I could see the scars criss-crossing his back. Each cut was black with dried blood and they were all long and uneven. I could clearly picture the venom running down his back, creating the long scars.
It would have looked cool if I wasn't wondering how horribly painful it was.
I glanced over at me as I approached.
"Are your injuries bothering you?" I asked. He pulled out a shirt, tried to stretch at the fabric and then put it back.
"As much as you would expect," he responded. I reached out and gently touched the reddened skin. Loki sucked in a breath through his teeth and spun toward me.
"Sorry!" I said quickly, pulling my hand away.
He clenched his jaw, "it's fine."
The both of us took a second to relax before I reached into the closet myself and pulled out a shirt that was probably two sizes too big for Loki, even though he was really tall. I stared at his sculpted chest as well as the blackened injury on his lower abdomen.
"Wow, you're a mess," I said laughing. I then handed him the shirt, "try this," He nodded and took it before pulling it over his head.
"Thanks," he sighed.
There was an awkward moment of silence before I spoke up. "Tony...Stark is having a Christmas party at his tower on Saturday. I was wondering if you wanted to come."
He furrowed his eyebrows, "am I welcome?"
I shrugged and laughed. "Probably not," I admitted, "but you can come. I want you to come. I mean, if you want." I started scratching the back of my neck awkwardly.
Loki looked amused, but he smiled, his eyes warm. "I would love to."
I smiled, too, and we stared at each other for a few seconds. My stomach felt warm and fuzzy. So much had changed int he past few months. To think that not so long ago the same man that was smiling at me right now was the same man who had attacked New York more than 3 months ago.
I cleared my throat quickly and crossed my arms over my chest. "So, um... how is your, uh..." I pointed at his lower abdomen where the blackened sword wound was.
Loki seemed to clam up immediately, "fine." His eyes were shining with honesty, and I would have believed him had I not just seen the wound.
"I saw it. It's all black. Doesn't it become black when it's acting up?" I thought back to what seemed like ages ago when Loki's eyes were milky white, and his voice wasn't his own. He had stared at me with those horrible eyes while attempting to choke the life out of me. I shuddered, moving my hand to my throat at the memory.
"I'm fine," Loki said grumpily, turning away from me and toward the bathroom. I followed.
"Loki, you have to tell me if something is wrong," I told him quietly.
He turned back to me, "I'd rather not be locked in a cage again. I'm fine."
"Locking you up has done nothing the past two times I have done it," I pointed out, "I won't try again."
Loki dipped his head and sighed. I blinked waiting for him to speak. He sighed again, exasperated before speaking,
"When I was in Asgard, I only had about an hour to sleep every few days. Every time I slept, I had dreams. Horrible dreams. They want the pendant. Soon. It was only until I returned to Midgard that the wound began to act up again. They know I'm close to the pendant. They know I could get it if I wanted to, and they're punishing me for not acting."
"We have to do something," I said. "We can destroy the necklace."
"We can't destroy it without the sword. The two go hand in hand. Unless they come above the water, we won't be able to take the sword, and even if they did come up to fight, we would be hopelessly outnumbered."
I sighed, knowing he was right. "It'll be alright," I said dejectedly. Would this be how it would always be? Worrying about if someone else would take over Loki's body and try to kill me? I started wringing my hands. My house was his only home at this point. He couldn't return to Asgard, and if I was to return him to S.H.I.E.L.D, he would be locked up. I wrapped my hands around Loki's neck so that my palm was touching the back of his neck, and I pulled his face down towards me. I planted a kiss on his cheek and watched as his eyes widened with surprise.
I then turned away from him and walked out of his room, feeling my cheeks heat up, embarrassed but proud of my bold move.
The next few days before the Christmas party, I felt unusually jittery. I wasn't sure if that was because of the looming threat of the white-eyed demons with the black sword, or the feelings I was getting as I became closer to Loki.
I couldn't help thinking it was the latter.