Chapter 22 ― Louis
My eyes went wide open and a lump formed in my throat. Suddenly, it was hard to breathe and it seemed like everything around me had stopped. They found out, they already knew about Havi and I. Even if it was just a harmless picture like that one of her and I in the car, they were going to make a whole story about that. I could already see the tabloids filled with different headlines.
Louis’ new girlfriend: For real or a gold digger?
What does she want from Louis Tomlinson?
Directioners ready to kill a new girl.
I felt my blood freezing in my veins, picturing how everything was going down from this point onwards. No matter what I said, they would turn it into something different. That was their job, to lie to everyone, to exaggerate and to ruin the lives of the people involved. Havi was innocent and because of what she felt for me now she was trapped in this situation.
I wanted to protect her, but what could I say to help her without having it backfiring in my face? With the media you had to be extra careful, everything was a double-edged sword.
“Of course not!” Liam spoke before I could come up with something to help. “Louis is a gentleman and he helped our friend, that’s why he drove her home. Anyone could have done that, Louis was the one in the station that day.”
I looked at my friend, grateful for his help; but even if his explanation made total sense, Connor –the interviewer of this gossip show, didn’t seem convinced. “And why did he stay longer with her? Don’t try to cover up for him, Liam!”
I swallowed with difficulty, my mind was going crazy trying to find an excuse. “We needed to see a few things about the contest,” I blurted out and he arched his eyebrow. “The contest, as you might now, requires a lot of our participation as it’s us who pick the winners every week. We constantly need to see and polish details.”
Connor still didn’t seem convinced and his mischievous smile was telling me that he had something else in store. I was actually scared. What else could he know? Why didn’t management check what he was going to ask us? This shouldn’t be happening!
“And that also explains why she went to your flat the next day, doesn’t it?”
Oh my fucking God.
They were following Havi now! I tried to control my expression, to not let anything show, but it was bloody hard as I knew it was my fault. All this was my fault because I couldn’t keep my feelings to myself, because I had to drag Havi into this messed up situation.
“She’s a friend to all of us,” Harry pointed out a bit defiantly and I just wanted to look at him and say thanks, but if I did, that would make Connor more suspicious. “We’re working with them and we have grown fond of each other.”
“Sure… if you say so, but we are free to believe otherwise, aren’t we?” He said talking to the camera, which meant he was talking to all the fans watching the show. My stomach twisted as I could imagine the trendings on twitter and all the guessing on tumblr going on in that moment.
I always knew this moment would come if I decided to go out with Havi, I just thought I was going to have more time to enjoy all this with her without everyone believing they had the right to comment on my personal life. I loved our fans, we owed everything to them, but they didn’t know boundaries.
“In the future we will know if this ‘friendship’ will lead to something else, won’t we, Louis?” Connor asked and I just wanted to strangle him in that moment for still pushing that topic. “Well, that’s all, boys. Thanks for coming!”
I just nodded, I couldn’t even smile because I officially hated that man. I knew it was his job to find new gossips and if there weren’t any, he would made up some; I just hated to be his target.
“Thanks for inviting us!” That was Liam and soon, all the lads made similar comments as the camera focused Connor and we were motioned to leave the stage.
I walked away first, almost fuming as I took off my mobile from my pocket, ready to call Havi; however Harry stopped me grabbing me by the shoulder. “Calm down, Tommo. Everything’s gonna be fine,” he assured me but I knew better. Everything was not going to be fine. Even if nothing had been confirmed, everyone was going to make theories about it and chaos was going to fall over Havi’s life.
“Havi’s been exposed!” I whispered angrily, I didn’t want anyone to know her name.
“They don’t even know her name!” Harry tried again but I just shook my head.
“They know where she works, and apparently, where she lives. It’s a matter of minutes for her to start receiving calls at the station telling her to fuck off! I told you it was a bad idea, I should have never–”
“Stop it. Stop it now!” He cried out and everyone had their eyes on us now because of that. He grabbed my wrist and pulled me to the dressing room where we could talk without anyone trying to overhear us. “You wanna be with her and she wants to be with you. That’s all what matters here, so stop overreacting like this. Havi knew this was going to happen and she’s fine with that. If she’s fine, then so are you! Calm the fuck down and breathe, Tommo. You’re not helping freaking out like this,” he lectured me and I felt like sinking in my spot.
I was freaking out indeed, I was regretting everything immediately, only considering my side. Again. Havi wanted to be with me despite everything that came with it. I had to respect that. It wasn’t like I was trying to drag her into this without warning her. She knew, she knew perfectly well because I spoke out all my feelings and fears about this. And she still wanted to be with me.
“You’re right,” I mumbled and I saw Harry’s expression softening. “I’m sorry, I just can’t stand the idea of her getting hurt.”
“We all know. She’s gonna be fine as long as you stay by her side,” reminded me the curly-haired boy squeezing my shoulder and I nodded, grateful with my best friend for putting some sense in me when I needed it. “Now that you’ve calmed down, you may call her.”
I nodded one more time and took out my mobile, but before calling her, I checked twitter quickly, just to know what was happening. I didn’t know why these pictures hadn’t leaked before and I had been stupid for not having checked twitter earlier. If I had done that, I might have been more prepared for this.
I had hundreds of mentions and many, many of them were about Havi. Asking who she was, why she was with me and if she was indeed my girlfriend or not. We weren’t official yet and everyone was guessing about us already.
I decided I wasn’t going to tweet about it, I just ignored them all and quit my twitter app and looked for Havi’s contact. I put the mobile against my ear and waited for her to pick up. “Louis!” She replied joyfully and a smile spread on my face immediately with just hearing her voice. Maybe she hadn’t seen the interview, that was why she sounded so happy.
“Hi, love. How are you?” I asked walking towards the sofa the dressing room had and I threw myself on it.
“I’m good. How about you? You didn’t seem fine when the interview was over.”
So she did see the interview. Oh man.
“I’m sorry, Havi. I didn’t know they had pictures,” I hurried to tell her and I heard her giggle.
“Don’t worry. They were going to find out eventually. It’s not your fault, Lou. That’s their job, to know everything about you so they can sell stories,” she told me and my smile grew bigger. She was taking everything perfectly, and she really sounded sincere. “I don’t want you to feel bad, okay? Promise me you won’t blame yourself for whatever might happen,” she required and I remained in silence for a couple of seconds.
“I don’t want anyone to hurt you,” I whispered squeezing my mobile, wanting to be there, next to her to look into her lovely and warm hazel eyes. I sort of needed her smile to give me strength to do this.
“They won’t. They can’t hurt me. They are just words, whatever they say is irrelevant in my life. They are faceless creatures, and they can’t really reach me,” she reasoned and I apprehended her words, smiling like a fool because of that. The way she was facing this only proved how strong she was.
“You’re amazing, did you know that?” I told her, still with the silly grin plastered on my face.
“Joy tells me the same all the time, it’s getting old already. You should look for a better adjective,” she told me offhandedly and I chuckled.
“My vocabulary consists of that word only!” I played along and it was her turn to laugh. I absolutely adored they way she laughed.
“I’ve noticed. Man, you need to look for more words in a dictionary,” she teased me and I just laughed.
I was grateful that we were talking about other futile things and not about the possible storm that was going to fall over us very soon. I wasn’t stupid, I knew our fans were going to know pretty soon who Havi was, they were going to start sending hatred and threats. Those Larry shippers were going to go mental trying to prove it was all a façade again. But Havi was willing to go through all this to be with me. The least I could do was to do my best at protecting her.
“Do you want me to go to the station or to your flat later?” I asked her after a while talking about nothing really.
“I’d love to, but I don’t think is a good idea considering now the paparazzi are over you trying to get more from this whole situation. Coming here would only encourage them,” she said and I cursed mentally.
I wanted to see her but she was right, the best was to keep it low profile for now and going to see her wasn’t going to help in the cause.
“You’re right, but I wanna see you,” I told her, almost whining like a little kid.
“Oh, poor Lou. I’ll send you a picture of me so you can have me close. Is that okay for you?” She asked and I chuckled. I already had many pictures of her in my phone as we took many when we were alone in my flat the other day.
“I’d love that,” I said anyways.
“Okay, I’ll send it when we hang up; which reminds me: I should leave. I have work to do. Talk to you soon, Lou,” she said and I literally pouted at her statement.
“Very soon. Good luck!”
We hung up and soon my phone buzzed with a new message. I opened it to see a picture of the tip of her thumb, and behind you could somehow see her. I laughed out loud knowing she had done that on purpose.
Man, I was crazy about her.
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Dedication goes to @ClarissaLee97 because tomorrow Friday is her birthday. Have a nice day, love.
Bel, xx