Pagkarating ng bahay ay agad na nagkulong si Ahn sa dati niyang kwarto. No one bothered her even for dinner. Nang magmadaling-araw ay nakaramdam siya ng matinding gutom. She went down the kitchen to fix herself a meal, careful not to wake anyone up.
She was a bit surprised to see food on the table with a note.
Anak, kung nagugutom ka, kumain ka lang. There's a pint of ice cream in the fridge if you want it. –Mom
Agad siyang kumain at saka kinuha ang ice cream sa ref. Maybe it was the depression but before she knew it, she's already eating the last spoonful.
Since she can't sleep with a full belly, nanuod muna siya ng TV. What happened yesterday feels like forever ago. She can't feel the ache anymore. The sting of his words stopped. All there is now is a big hole in her chest.
Nang mahindagan ay bumalik siya sa kwarto para muling matulog. She was quite surprised to see her phone light up.
From: Ken
Where are you?
--
That was foul, Ken, he told himself. Kanina pa niya iniuuntog ang ulo sa steering wheel ng kotse niya. That was just low. Did he really call her a bitch? He never thought he'd have the guts to. He told her awful things and she took them badly. So much so that when he returned home, she was not there anymore.
Ano pa nga ba naman ang aasahan niya?
Ilang oras din siyang nag-ubos ng gasolina sa daan. Hindi niya alam kung saan na siya nakarating. When he calmed down, he immediately drove back to the house to apologize. Yes, he was blinded by anger. Nagdilim ang paningin niya kanina nang makita ang mga bulaklak na hawak ni Ahn.
From: Ahn
I'm at my parents' house.
To: Ahn
Can I come over?
From: Ahn
No. My dad will kill you.
Sinapok niya ang sarili using the remote. Great. Now his ninong's involved. Siguro ay sinabi ni manang dito ang nangyari.
To: Ahn
I'll take my chances.
--
He didn't even apologize. She was waiting for him to apologize. Why won't he apologize?
To: Ken
Okay.
Agad siyang nagsuot ng jacket at saka umalis ng bahay. She didn't know where to go kaya pumunta na lang sya sa isang fast food chain na 24 hours bukas.
She ordered two large coffees and large fries. It's morning already.
Maya-maya ay nakatanggap ulit siya ng mensahe galing kay Ken.
From: Ken
Nandito na 'ko.
To: Ken
Sorry. I left.
Her phone started ringing. Sinagot niya iyon.
"Where are you, Ahn?" mahinahon nitong tanong.
"Somewhere you can't find me."
"Nasa Mcdo ka ba?"
Napasapo siya nang pumailanlang ang jingle ng Mcdo.
"Wait for me. We'll talk there," he told her.
"I don't want to see you."
"Ahn..."
She sighed. "Please, Ken."
"Wait for me there."
When he ended the call, agad siyang umalis. She went to a convenience store a block away. She turned her phone off and cautiously walked home.
--
Si manang ang bumalik sa bahay ni Ken para ikuha siya ng damit na isusuot sa trabaho. Her dad took her to work and told her to not to talk to Ken. Kapag daw ginusto nitong makipag-usap, he should go through him first.
But when she's at the office, there's no dad around to stop Ken from coming over. Nagulat siya nang makita niya ito sa lobby, may hawak na bulaklak. He stood up when he saw her.
"What are you doing here?"
"Can we talk over lunch?"
"I'm not hungry."
"Weren't you about to get some lunch?" kunot-noo nitong tanong.
"I was. But then I saw you and I lost my appetite."
"Look, Ahn, I'm sorry."
There's the apology.
Iniabot nito sa kanya ang bulaklak. "Para sa'yo nga pala."
She had no choice but to take it. Lumabas kasi ang ilan niyang officemates. "Thanks."
They all said 'hi' to Ken. Even Greg did. Gusto sana niyang sumama at iwanan na lang si Ken but of course, she couldn't. So she had no choice but to have lunch with him. Pagkalagay niya ng bulaklak sa table niya ay sumama siya rito sa isang restaurant, where he said he has a reservation in.
But she couldn't eat.
"What's wrong? Don't you like the food?" he asked.
"Uhm, no. I'm not really hungry."
Ken looked sullen.
"Look, I'm really sorry about what I did. I was angry."
"You've been angry at me for so many years. How can I ever miss that?"
Bumuntong-hininga ito.
"Can we finish this lunch before you bite me?"
She dropped her utensils. "Okay. I'm done."
She walked out of the restaurant. He quickly caught up with her though.
"Ahn, can you please listen to me?"
"Why?!" she snapped. "Did you ever listen to me? Did you even consider forgiving me? Bakit kapag ikaw, okay lang?"
"I-I... Ahn." He sighed. "I don't know what to say."
"Then don't say anything. Leave me alone."
--
For days, Ken tried to reach out to Ahn. Pero bumabalik ang mga bulaklak na ipinadadala niya rito. He wished something else could be returned. Like his calls for example. Ilang araw na rin siyang nagpapabalik-balik sa bahay nito para lang maharang ng ninong niya.
He didn't know what got to him. When Ahn left, it's like everything went wrong. He couldn't explain it. There's just this ache in his chest that won't go away.
And it's only been like a couple of months and he's already grown too attached. Ano pa kaya yung tatlong taon? What if after three years, it's ten times harder to let her go?
Hindi rin niya masagot ang sandamakmak na tanong ng parents niya. They paid him a surprise visit yesterday. They found the house empty, with only him a lot of beers inside. He had no choice but to tell them that they had a fight. His fault, of course. That part is true.
He carefully left the other significant details out of the conversation.
His mom got angry with him. Ilang buwan pa lang daw sila pero ganito na kalala ang away nila ni Ahn.
"I wans't expecting this from you, Ken," he remembered her say. "You're way better than your dad when he was your age, but even then, he knew how to treat women right."
His parents fight a lot. Pero normal na iyon sa dalawa. They always bicker, pero hindi nauuwi sa sampalan, sigawan o hiwalayan. They made sure that any argument is settled before the day ends.
Iya was right. They have the perfect marriage. How he wish he could say the same about his. But it didn't start right to begin with.
Heaving a sigh, he stepped out of the car and rang the doorbell. Kagaya ng dati, si manang ang sumalubong sa kanya.
"Magandang gabi po, manang," bati niya sa matanda, na irap lang ang isinagot. Mukhang hindi pa rin nito nakakalimutan ang ginawa niya rito noong nagtatalo sila ni Ahn.
"Nandyan ho ba si Ahn?" tanong niya.
"Sandali lang."
Hindi man lang siya nito pinagbuksan ng gate. Pumasok muli ito sa loob and as expected, ninong niya ang lumabas.
"Good evening po, ninong."
He's still hesitant to call him dad.
"Are we going to go through this again?"
"Please ninong, just let me talk to her. Kahit ilang minuto lang."
Toby crossed his arms against his chest. "She doesn't want to talk to you."
"Can I at least see her? I promise it won't take long," pakiusap niya.
His heart sank when his father-in-law shook his head. "I don't think so."
--
Toby's resolve almost broke when he saw Ken's eyes moist with tears. Lugong-lugo ito. He couldn't help picture himself. Ganito rin siya dati kay Jae. He was this desperate to see her. And maybe because he'd been there, that he somehow understands.
Ayaw na lamang niyang magtiwala agad-agad sa inaanak niya. He called his daughter a bitch, for chrissake! Hindi niya maintindihan kung bakit. Magulong magkwento si manang. Basta iyon lang ang tumatak sa isipan nito noong nag-aaway ang dalawa.
"Go home, Ken."
Hindi nakaligtas sa paningin niya ang mabilis nitong pagpahid ng kamay sa sulok ng mata nito.
"C-Can you at least, please, tell her I miss her?"
Tumango siya. "I will."
"And uh..." Huminga ito ng malalim. "That I..."
Hindi na nito itinuloy ang sasabihin, but he understood. Ken loves her. He never doubted that. Pero hindi niya matanggap ang pagtrato nito sa anak. Hindi niya matanggap na sa huwes lamang ikinasal ang dalawa.
Ahn wanted a chruch wedding. She talked about it once. She was most excited about the part where he would walk her to the altar, to the groom waiting to take her hand.
Ken destroyed that dream. And that's one thing that he couldn't forgive.
--
"Ahn, anak, you sure you won't go with us?" tanong ng mommy niya.
She shook her head and burried her face in the pillow. Birthday ng ninang niya pero ayaw niyang pumunta dahil alam niyang nandoon si Ken. And worse, nandoon din si Iya. Nandoon din Rica. And basically, everyone who hates her.
Paalis na ang buong pamilya niya para maki-celebrate. Sigurado siyang magtataka ang ilan kapag hindi siya pumunta. Manugang siya, not just a family friend anymore. Parte na siya ng pamilya. Her absence would surely be noticed.
But how can she go if he's there? Magda-dalawang linggo na rin silang hindi nagkikita. Ken would go to her office everyday to talk, but she wouldn't see him. Pumupunta rin ito sa bahay nila pero hindi rin niya ito sinisipot. She let her father face him every time.
It was very depressing. She didn't expect her marriage to be like this. It was bound by hate and hate's the only thing sustaining it. Maybe after a few days, baka magpa-annul na rin sila.
Nagsisisi tuloy siya na nagpakasal pa siya kay Ken. She should have just chosen the first option. It seemed to be the easy way out. Ang tanga kasi niya. She was deceived by the idea of being married to him. She thought they could still work it out.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the loud ringing of her phone. Napabalikwas siya ng bangon nang makitang ang ninang niya ang tumatawag.
"Ahn, hija! Where are you?"
"N-Ninang, kasi..."
Bumuntong hininga ito. "I really wish you'd call me mom instead."
"Sorry po."
"Sabi ng daddy mo hindi ka raw pupunta. Why? What's wrong?"
"Ano po kasi..."
"Dahil ba kay Ken?"
Hindi siya nakasagot.
"I'll take your silence as a yes," sabi nito. "But, come on, Ahn, can't you both forget about your problems today? Pagbigyan nyo na ako. Birthday ko naman," pangungunsensya nito.
"Ililibre ko na lang po kayo ng dinner bukas, m-ma."
"Pero hindi ko na birthday bukas. Sige na. Come say hi. I won't push you to stay long if you really don't want to."
"O-Okay po. I'll drop by."
She just tied her hair up and applied a little lipstick, just to give color to her pale face. Pagkalabas niya ng bahay ay agad niyang nakita ang nakaparadang kotse ni Paris.
"Bakit nandito kayo?" she asked them. Jasmine's sitting in the passenger's seat.
"Tita wants to make sure that you'll come," sagot ng cousin-in-law niya.
She hopped in the backseat.
"Hi, Ahn. How are you holding up?" Jasmine asked.
"I'm fine. Thanks."
Nagkatinginan ang dalawa. Lumipat muna si Jasmine sa tabi niya bago pinaandar ni Paris ang kotse.
"Ahn, we have to tell you something."
"Shoot."
"We heard about you and Ken. We're very, very sorry. Hindi naman kasi namin inaasahan na ganoon ang kalalabasan e."
She frowned. Paris was never brought up in the fight. Muntikan na, but Ken didn't go there.
"What are you talking about?"
Jasmine sighed. "Y-Yung mga bulaklak..."
"Those were from me," pag-amin ni Paris.
"B-But it was my idea. Alam kasi naming seloso si Ken, so I told Paris to send you flowers to make him jealous. Hindi naman namin alam na—"
"It's not your fault," naiiling niyang sabi. "Even without the flowers, Ken would still hate me."
"Ahn..."
She sighed. "You know what? Maybe this was a bad idea. Pwede bang ibaba nyo na lang ako sa kanto? I think I'll just stay home."
"Magagalit si tita," Paris told her.
She slumped back on the seat and sighed once more. It looks like she really doesn't have a choice. Ayaw naman niyang magalit sa kanya ang ninang niya. She's one of the few people who didn't get angry with her when she rejected Ken back then.
"Fine," she told them. I'll just say hi then I'll go home.