Zain had returned to the apartment and had gone straight in his room. Rudaba had followed him but by the time she got in, Zain had already locked his room door. She was confused at how Zain was so different just then and she had questions, but she didn't know if she had any right to ask them. After thinking enough, she made her way to Zain's room to ask if he is okay. But after reaching the door, she had changed her mind and instead went to her own room.
She wasn't sure why he was acting like this and deep down it had hurt her. The lessened distance between them was something that should make her uncomfortable, instead, she was fine with it. For some reason, she was happy that she was learning to move on with Zain and that they were getting the chance to build on their relationship. But Zain's sudden withdrawal was so unfitting to her. His move to leave made her nervous. Why he suddenly walked off, she had no idea, but it was affecting her, and she was not liking it. It was bothering her. It was unsettling for her heart that he was so close to her yet so far. Why she was feeling all this, she had no idea. The thoughts were all over her mind, but she had no solution or answer to them. Leaning against the crown of the bed, she closed her eyes and allowed the peaceful sleep to take over.
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In the other room, there were questions, there was anger and there was regret. Zain was questioning himself for letting his guard down. He was angry at himself for going close to her and he was regretting that he touched her when he shouldn't have. She didn't love him. And he promised himself that he wouldn't pressure her in any way then how could he let his guard down?
Something was pulling him towards her. A connection. The connection that he had began to feel for her and it was not friendship because that was different. The connection that made his heart skip a beat when she smiled wholeheartedly or when she acted dramatic about things that she should think of the least. The solace he felt when she was happy and encouraging with the kids she met in hospital. The discomfort and worry that took over him when she was upset and cried in her room alone. She thought he never found out, but he did. He knew when she was sad, he knew when she cried, and he knew when not to ask her things she didn't want to answer. Why was all this so new for him yet it felt so right? Worrying for her, caring for her or trying to make her smile was becoming his habit and it all felt right. But what was it that was making him do all this?
"Mujhe Rudaba ke itney kareeb nahi ana chaiye tha. Woh kitna hurt hoi hogi meri is ghalti sey. Woh Shahroze se pyaar karti hai toh meine yeh kaise kardiya..."
He thought to himself. This was what his mind was telling him. But the voice of his heart was different. His heart was telling him that he loved her. His heart was telling him that he did nothing wrong and that it was his love for her that was making him go near her. He did it because she was his wife and he loved her.
His face was sweating as he restlessly walked here and there in the room. Was what he had been feeling for so long, was love? If it was, then he realised that he fell in love with Rudaba. Without realising and without understanding but he loved her. Unconditional and selfless love.
The realisation was striking but it felt good. If he loved her then he didn't need to keep distance from her. She would take time, he knew, and he would give her that time. But, he won't stop his own self for showing his love to her.
For what he did earlier, he had to apologise to her and this is how he was going to make up with her. His lips curled into a smile with the prospect of realising and believing that he loved Rudaba.
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The next day brought with it, its own warmth and positivity. Rudaba was in her room going through her book shelves when she heard the door knock. Hearing her faint approval, Zain opened the door and walked inside. Rudaba turned towards the door and after seeing Zain looked away.
He could tell that she was very much upset after last night and this was what he was there to correct and fix. He couldn't see her upset or angry. So, he came forward and stood right in front of her and took her hand in his. That's when Rudaba looked in his eyes. Because the comfort and the warmth were back. The one she didn't dread but welcomed.
"Rudaba, I am sorry. For last night and for leaving you out alone in the rain. I am really sorry."
There was regret in his eyes. Regret that he genuinely wanted to get rid off by apologising.
"It's fine. Don't be sorry. Just don't leave me out like that. It was cold and quite wet."
"I know. I am sorry. I don't know why I did what I did, I shouldn't have..."
"Shouldn't have done what?"
"I know mujhe tumhare itne qareeb nahi ana chaiye tha. It was my wrong to make you feel uncomfortable. Mujhe nahi karna chaiye tha aisa."
"But I wasn't uncomfortable with that. Mujhe takleef hui thi jab tum aise hi wahan se agaye thay. Meine tu kuch kaha hi nahi tha tumhe."
Zain was slightly shocked, but he was also happy, though he wasn't showing it.
"Lekin mujhe aisey nahi..."
"Itne haq se abhi atey hi tumne mera haath thaam liya takay maafi mang sako aur kal ki baat per tumhe bura lag raha hai? Tumhe khud per yakeen nahi hai ya hamare rishte per?"
"Aisa nahi hai. Acha, I am sorry. Ab maaf kardo please."
He had said with a pleading look on his face that made her smile.
"Acha maaf kiya! Kia yaad karogey."
She had laughed, and he chucked too. The friend in them who could always change and lift the mood would never disappear.
"Shaam mein tiyaar rehna, tumhe kahin lekey jana hai."
Rudaba looked with a raised eyebrow.
"Kahan?"
"Woh shaam mein pata chal jaega. Abhi mein office ja raha hun. Take care, Bye."
He said this and soon left the room. Rudaba couldn't even say or ask anything else so just shook her head at his unpredictable self. Suddenly, she was happy. Now, there was no awkwardness between the two after last night and this gave her enough satisfaction and peace.
Zain, also, couldn't stop smiling while he drove to work. The conversation with Rudaba was fresh in his mind and it was making him feel so much better about everything. The fact that she wasn't upset about last night gave him a special kind of relief that he didn't want to deny.
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Rudaba and Zain were on their way to the special dinner Zain had arranged for her. It was a surprise for Rudaba and despite that she asked so many times, he refused to tell her where he was taking her. When they arrived at the destination, Zain reached Rudaba's side and helped her get out of the car.
"Tum kahan le ke aye ho mujhe."
"Tum chalo toh pehle. Khudi pata chal jaega."
Reaching her hand, he threaded his fingers with hers as he walked with her. There was a confident smile playing on his lips making Rudaba feel confident for what was to come. After a few minutes' walk, when they finally reached the place, Rudaba was awestruck. The decoration, the white and red roses everywhere she looked and the lights brightening up everything else was all and all a vision. An aesthetic, she fell in love with as soon as she saw it all. There was also a dining table in the middle of all this, decorated with candles and flowers.
"This is all so beautiful."
She had said with lit up eyes and a genuine smile.
"Sach?"
"Haan toh aur? Itna pyaara hai yeh sab. But aj ek dam se kyun... I mean abhi toh kal bahar khana khaya tha?"
"Khud hi toh tumne subha kaha tha ke mera tum per haq hai, toh bas socha tumhare liye kuch special karun."
Rudaba stared at him and smiled when he caught her looking at him.
"Aise kia deikh rahi ho?"
She didn't say anything but instead passed him a big smile and held his hand.
"Thank you so much for this."
He nodded and smiled back at her. They, then walked to the table and had their dinner. The dishes were all Rudaba's favourites. She was surprised at how he knew so much about her without her even telling him.
"Lagta hai meri ammi se kaafi baat hoti hai tumhari."
"Kyun?"
"Mujhe roses achay lagtey hain aur who bhi white and red. Khana sara meri pasand ka hai, aur toh aur, blue colour mera favourite hai aur tumne blue sweater pehna hai. Aur yeh sab meine aj tak tumhe nahi bataya toh meri ammi ne hi bataya hoga."
"Guess acha karti hu tum."
"Kabhi gharoor nahi kiya."
Rudaba openly laughed at her own joke and Zain joined in. They were having a good time. No awkwardness or discomfort but only understanding and the importance of spending time with each other. As they were talking and having their dinner, they heard the sound of a song playing. It was a soft and slow melody, but it was catchy. But it was Zain's doing. He had asked the organisers to play music when they were done eating.
Zain got up from his seat and reached Rudaba's side. He offered his hand and spoke.
"Will you be my dance partner, Rudaba?"
Rudaba nervously held his hand and smiled.
He held her hand and wrapped his other arm around her waist. They slowly danced to the soft tune playing in the background and didn't even realise that they had come even closer than they were before. They were close enough to hear each other's heart beat and their foreheads were touching. Zain cupped her face from one side making her look right in his eyes. They held a certain charm in them that she forgot about her surroundings. The charm in his eyes was also of warmth and protection, which was only for her. Where she belonged. Zain saw her staring at her for a few minutes but then tilted his head and reached her ears and whispered.
"Tum theek ho?"
"Haan."
He was still leaning forward when she spoke with a nervous hesitancy.
But that moment was etched on their hearts. It was surreal. It was special and most of all, it was their moment.
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They returned home happy, hand in hand with confident smiles etched on their faces. After getting changed in relaxing nightwear, both of them had come out to the living room. This time it was Rudaba's idea of watching a movie. It was a weekend and so Zain didn't have to worry about his work either.
After some time into the movie, Rudaba slowly dropped her head on Zain's shoulder and fell asleep. Zain didn't move but he knew that if slept like this, she would hurt her neck and he didn't want to wake her up either. So, he gently picked her up in his arms and took her to her room and shifted her on the bed. He couldn't help but stare at her peaceful sleeping form. She looked worriless and the most comfortable and it was making him happy only. She was so beautiful and so innocent. He was going to move away when he realised that Rudaba had held onto his arm. He didn't want to pull it away in case he disturbs her in his sleep, so he leaned against the crown of the bed beside her and allowed her to sleep in his arms.
Love was there. It was there within him. And it was coming to her. Gradually, but it was.
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*not proofread so apologies for typos*
Hello again, I know this is not the best chapter on feels but whatever. Do give your feedback on how you find it.