I tried my best to keep my head down at school. That stupid word echoing through my mind as I went through the motions. It was all I could think about when someone actually talked to me. Was that what they were thinking? Is that all they saw?
"You're unusually docile." Katie commented while Alec and I were exchanging my second half of the day books out at my locker.
I gave her a weak smile. Did Katie think I was crippled?
"What'd you do Alec? Finally beat him into submission?" She asked.
Alec laughed. "If only."
I could feel Katie staring at me which only made me stare at the ground more. She let out a sigh.
"Alright this is crazy. Stop being so insecure." She scolded.
My head whipped up to hers about to defend myself when she shook her head.
"Fuck Sydney. You do realize everyone hates her, most are just too scared to piss her off." Katie said, my stomach twisted at the realization that the whole school must of heard. "Don't let this go to your head because you're still annoying but everyone likes you."
Not everyone.
"Besides after what Drew said to her yesterday, I doubt she's gonna have the balls to say anything else." She added.
Fuck Drew.
"So knock it off and be annoying, would you? No one thinks your damaged but you and Sydney. And her opinion doesn't matter."
Katie slammed her door shut with more force than necessary and stomped off.
"I like her." Alec said.
I laughed, he sounded like an old man finding amusement in the spunky young girl. It made me think of when Katie called him Pops, maybe she was right with the nickname.
"She's right ya know?" He closed my locker. "Ready?"
"Yeah." I mumbled, my mind still going over class with Sydney and everything Katie had just shouted at me.
I wanted to believe Katie, I mean why wouldn't I? But it wasn't as easy as it sounded, to change the way I felt about myself. The doubt and the self loathing that had developed.
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"Last time." Sarah told me.
I grabbed a hold of the bars, releasing a breath as I mustered the remainder of my strength. I pulled with everything I had, straining and cussing my way upright.
"You've got it." Sarah encouraged.
"I don't."
My arms were too weak. I was already too tired from the countless tries I'd done before. Sarah wasn't helping, convinced I could pull myself upright on my own.
I didn't believe her.
"Come on Owen." She said.
I ground my teeth together, my left arm pulling harder than my right. My eyes were squeezed shut, my heart thundering in my chest.
"One more pull."
Grunting, I somehow managed to pull myself completely up, my lack of balance and feeling in my legs causing me to sway.
"Holy shit." I gasped.
"I've got you, you're okay." Sarah said, grabbing the belt around my waist and stacking my hips over my feet.
My heart was hammering in my chest, my breathing labored as a triumphant smile spread across my face. I was standing.
"Look at that." Sarah said, her smile matching mine. "You're standing and you got there all on your own."
I was too shocked and out of breath to respond but I couldn't wipe the smile from my face.
"Ready to sit back down?" She asked.
It felt good to stand. Better than I could ever describe. I didn't necessarily want to sit back down.
"Yeah."
"Alright, easy going down."
I nodded my head, feeling her release most of her hold on the belt. My arms were shaking but I didn't care anymore.
When my ass hit the chair, I looked up at Sarah.
"Remember my goals?" I asked her.
"You mean the ones you wouldn't make?"
I watched as she lifted one of my feet onto the platforms, not bothering to look up at me.
"Yeah those ones."
This time her eyes met mine. "Yes I remember."
"I want to run again." I blurted, nerves spiking within me as I voiced my dream.
I didn't make goals because I didn't want to not reach them. I didn't like failure especially when so many things were working against me that I had no control over. But I wanted more, I wanted more than being reliant on everyone else. I wanted more than being stuck in this damn chair, a cripple.
Sarah smiled, her hand resting on my right knee that I still couldn't feel.
"That's going to take a lot of hard work and determination on your part." She said. "It's very ambitious but I like it."
I looked down at my lap, my confidence wavering slightly but I didn't want her to see it.
"Want to know the first step to achieving your goal?" Sarah asked, standing up.
"Yeah."
"Stop doubting yourself."
I nodded my head, laughing slightly. Apparently today was the day that everyone called me out. First Katie, now Sarah. I never thought I'd say it but thank god Mina wasn't here. I didn't want to hear what she had to say. At least not yet.
"Hey, has Mina said anything to you about Saturday?" I suddenly asked Sarah as my mind focused in on Mina.
"Saturday? No. Why?"
I shrugged. "She asked me if I was busy."
Sarah's face spread into that massive smile of hers as she nudged me in the shoulder.
"What?" Why was she smiling like that?
"Oh nothing." She looked too happy, too mischievous.
"Sarah? What'd you do?" She started walking away from the bars, leaving me to chase after her. "Hey don't walk away!"
"I'm not, I'm going to our next exercise." She called over her shoulder.
"Whats nothing though?"
"Exactly what I said, nothing."
But I could tell it was something. It was the way she was smiling, the way her voice was a little higher than normal, the conniving look in her eye. What had she done?
"Are you behind Saturday?" I asked, even though I hoped she wasn't.
Not that it would be bad, but I wanted Saturday to be all Mina's idea. It made it seem like she didn't hate me as much as she said she did.
"I have no idea what Saturday is." Sarah said with a straight face. "I'm just glad to hear that the two of you are liking each other."
I snorted. "Mina isn't liking me, I can guarantee that."
She still looked at me like I was the scum on the bottom of her shoe.
"She just takes a while to warm up, that's all." Sarah reassured.
We had stopped at the weights. Sarah handed me a light weight and I took it. I already knew what I was supposed to do.
"Did you know we've been going to school together for years? I didn't. Apparently I'm an oblivious dick." I told her, starting on the exercises.
"Oblivious yes. A dick, maybe accidentally." She said.
I laughed, a real, loud, obnoxious bark.
"Gee thanks, tell me how you really feel."
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I'm back from up north so as long as I can keep writing you'll have daily updates again. Although I have to say my buffer is down to one chapter. So daily updates may end sooner rather than later. Hope everyone had a good Memorial Day!