A/N Slight trigger warning.
Taehyung sat on Jeongguk's freshly made bed, shirtless and extraordinarily self-conscious. He brought his arms up, convulsively crossing over his chest in an abortive attempt to cover himself. Why he'd let Jeongguk talk him into this he'd never know.
"Hyung." Jeongguk whined, tugging at his hands. "Your hands are in the way."
"Why can't I wear a shirt?" He asked again.
"Because it's supposed to smell like you, not me." Jeongguk explained, pushing on his chest with his injured hands until the older boy was laying on his back atop the clean fitted sheet. The rest of the bedding was neatly folded down at the foot of the bed.
"I know why I can't wear my shirt. Why can't I wear a clean one of yours?" He pressed.
"Because." Guk climbed on top of him, straddling his hips.
He noticed he got to keep his shirt on. Although admittedly that was probably for the best. Tae wasn't sure how firm his self-control would be if they had that much skin to skin contact in Jeongguk's bed.
"Because why? Wouldn't it help? Since it already smells like you." He reasoned.
"Just because, Tae, ok?" Jeongguk snapped impatiently.
Taehyung's lips turned down at the corners in disapproval. "First of all, honorifics, Guk. I'm your senior. And second, watch your tone when you speak to me. I just want you to explain it to me. Calmly. I don't have to do this, you know."
"But you said." The petulant whine in Jeongguk's voice returned. "We made a deal. You already cut my claws, you can't take it back now."
That had been one of Taehyung's conditions. Jeongguk had to have his claws trimmed before he scented him. The reason behind it was two-fold. First, he wasn't sure Jeongguk would actually follow through once he got everything he wanted. At the very least he anticipated it would lead to a argument about the value of keeping your word and he honestly didn't want to deal with that right now. The boy could be a real brat and sometimes it was exhausting. Secondly, those sharp little claws digging into his skin had left stinging scratches on him last time and he wasn't eager for a repeat.
"Yes." Taehyung agreed patiently. "I said that I would move Namjoon's things, give you my shirt and let you scent me. Nowhere did I agree to do it shirtless. And I don't feel comfortable doing it this way unless there is a valid reason for it."
"Why not?" Taehyung was hyper aware of Jeongguk's warm hands now resting on his naked torso.
"Because it's very intimate and I feel uncomfortable being shirtless this close to someone I'm not in a romantic relationship with." He explained. He always tried to be honest with Jeongguk, even if it was a little embarrassing. He thought it helped encourage the boy to open up to him in return. "So unless there is a good reason for it, I will be getting up and putting a shirt on before we begin." He informed the young hybrid, rising up on his elbows below him.
Jeongguk nodded, his weight shifting to his splayed hands in an unconscious attempt to push Taehyung back into the bed. "It's um... It's hard to explain." Jeongguk hesitated, his head tilted slightly, and his ears swivelling restlessly, his left hand lifted from Taehyung's chest to pluck at the fine hairs on his cheek.
Taehyung had learned early on that the hybrid's ears were the key to understanding what was really going on in Jeongguk's head. They seemed to move of their own volition, completely outside the younger man's control and they couldn't lie. He suspected Jeongguk's tail might be the same but the boy usually kept it covered with his trademark baggy tees, so he couldn't be sure. Restless ears meant Jeongguk wanted to say something but wasn't sure how. The soft plucking of the downy hair on his cheek meant he was embarrassed or uncomfortable with those thoughts. Taehyung knew if the boy didn't spit it out soon they would be begin to flick in agitation and that's when Jeongguk tended to get tetchy and rude. Teenagers and their pride.
"Don't overthink it, Guk. Just say it." He sighed, closing his eyes and reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "You know I won't make fun of you. If I don't understand, I'll ask."
"Ok, um, if I gave you my shirt you'd smell like me." He began hesitantly.
"Mmhmm?" Tae hummed in encouragement. "Isn't that what you want?"
"Yes, but it's different on your skin." He looked away and down, gaze focused on the carpeted floor to beside the bed. The hand still planted on his chest was now drawing nervous patterns on his sensitive skin with a blunted claw. Making him want to shiver.
"Different how?" He pressed, keeping his voice calm and neutral with difficulty.
He fought the urge to roll Jeongguk off him and cover himself. Usually he was able to ignore his physical attraction to Jeongguk. The boy was such a handful that he spent most of their time together trying to walk that delicate balance between protecting Jeongguk's obvious emotional fragility while keeping a firm reign on his mutinous attitude. Now, with Jeongguk's muscular thighs gripping his hips, the weight of him both comfortingly familiar and excitingly alien, he was reminded of just how attractive Jeongguk was. How hard and masculine his body was beneath the concealing bulk of his baggy shirts and sweats. How pretty his face was, with the innocent softness of his wide brown eyes and the perfect cupids bow of his little pink mouth. How silken and warm his skin was under his hands.
He'd only ever been this close and vulnerable with one other person and the mere memory of him made Taehyung's chest constrict in rising panic. He closed his eyes and clenched his fists, fighting for control of his traitorous body.
"I think you should get off." He whispered shakily.
"No!" He heard the slight edge of panic in Jeongguk's shouted denial. "I'll tell you. I'll tell you." He promised. "It's hard for me to explain, is all. It's like... Ok. So when I scent your skin it changes the smell. You don't smell like me exactly but you don't smell like you anymore either. It's an us smell."
"Does that really matter?" He asked. "This seems needlessly intimate." He admitted honestly.
"It tells people you're mine. But also that I'm yours? Like we belong to each other." Jeongguk tried to explain.
Taehyung blinked, his discomfort increasing. "Guk, that's not the kind of relationship we have. I'm fond of you, but we're not a together, you know that, right?" He clarified gently.
"Not like that! I mean, sometimes like that, but not always like that. It's hard to explain. It's like you're a part of my family. But not exactly. Like you belong in my home?" His face twisted with frustration. "I scent things that belong to me, but I mix scents to make you part of my herd."
"Like a nest mate?" Taehyung offered, drawing on his knowledge of rabbits.
"Yes!" Jeongguk's eyes lit up at his understanding.
"You want me to be your nest mate?" Taehyung asked, his voice deep and thick with emotion.
Jeongguk looked away, self-consciously. "I don't have anyone else, Tae." He whispered. "No one else wants me."
"Oh, bun." He whispered, his heart clenching at the words. He reached up to wind his arms around the lonely boy's neck, pulling him down to the crook of his neck. "You can have me and I'll have you, ok?" He promised, falling back down on the bed with Jeongguk gripped tightly in his embrace.
Jeongguk nodded shakily, his hands curling against Taehyung's chest as he began gently kneading, his blunted claws flexing and retracting.
Taehyung endured the procedure as best he could, but his skin was starved for touch, hot and responsive to even the lightest of touches. He kept his hands relaxed and gentle in Jeongguk's hair as he nuzzled around his face, resisting the desire to tighten his hands into fists and guide his perfect pink mouth to roughly meet his own. He didn't shift and arch when that cheek slid across his chest, and swallowed his moan when those kneading hands brushed a sensitive nipple. He willed his hips to stillness when arousal punched through him, ignoring the urge to rut and grind when he felt Jeongguk's own arousal press down on him.
But when he felt the soft, tentative press of Jeongguk's lips to his neck, he froze, but he could not push him away like he knew he should. There was only so far his control extended. The throb of his body could only been ignored for so long. It had been so very long since he'd felt the soft press of lips, since he'd been enveloped in another man's warmth, felt the hard press of their body against his own. He had been so alone for so long, he almost forgot how good this could feel. He'd repressed his unclean desires so far down, he'd thought he'd finally been free of them.
So now his body eagerly accepted what his mind could not. Instead of banishing the vulnerable hybrid from him he arched his neck, exposing more of it's length with a barely audible moan. The hands in Guk's hair tightened, pressing him down in silent encouragement. And this time when Jeongguk pressed his hips down, Taehyung rocked back against him.
They clung to each other in near silence, only the harshness of their panting breath and the occasional unbidden moan that they'd been unable to choke back or swallow. Jeongguk's lips pressed in open eagerness to Taehyung's throat and collarbones. Taehyung's hands had slipped from the hybrid's hair to creep under his shirt, smoothing and flexing over the corded muscles of his back. Occasionally his hand would brush the soft fur of the boy's stubby tail and he would wrap his hands around it and stroke along the length, making Jeongguk shudder and press harder into him.
It was Jeongguk who found his release first, his clawed hands gripping Taehyung's slender hips, his rutting hips stuttering, a throaty groan escaping his lips before he drooped back down, panting, atop Taehyung's chest.
Tae couldn't stop the protesting whine as Jeongguk's hips slowed, then stopped. The sound seemed to snap them both back to reality and Taehyung was shoving at Jeongguk's chest in an attempt to heave the boy off him. He couldn't do this, not again.
Once the hybrid had scrambled off him, the boy's eyes dipped furtively to his waist and rounded in shock. Taehyung followed his gaze, humiliated to found the length of his erection was no longer able to be contained by the modesty of his pants, the glistening tip peeking above his waistband. He slapped a hand over himself and rolled swiftly into a sitting position.
"Could I have a shirt, please?" He asked, his voice tight with both humilation and lust. Jeongguk still knelt on the bed, staring at him blankly. "Shirt, Jeongguk! Now!" He barked.
In a display of amazing obedience, Jeongguk immediately gripped the hem of his own shirt, pulling it over his head and offering it to the still painfully aroused Taehyung. Averting his eyes from Jeongguk's inviting body, Tae snatched the shirt and yanked it over his head, pulling it down over his lap.
"This was a mistake." He said roughly, his breath quickening as anxiety built. "And it will never happen again, do you understand?" His voice low and vicious.
Jeongguk nodded, his eyes wide and confused, brimming with hurt, his ears pressed anxiously against his head.
"I can't be here anymore." Tae declared, snatching his backpack from Jeongguk's floor and almost running out of the house.
Taehyung made it most of the way up the street before the adrenaline flooding his system had him shaking too hard to support his own weight. His breath left him in uneven heaves, his heart thudded sickly in his chest, his stomach roiled hot and acidic. He threw his bag off his shoulder, collapsing to his knees beside it.
How could he do that? How could he be so careless, so selfish? Jeongguk trusted him. Mrs Kim trusted him. And how had he repaid that trust? He'd taken advantage of a young man's loneliness and confusion to sate his own unnatural desires. He was so disgusting.
He thumped his fist into the ground in frustration and self loathing. So stupid! So selfish!
Hadn't he learned anything with Jaehyun? How destructive his urges could be? How easily he could mistake affection for attraction? How his friendship could be toxic and subversive? How easy it was to manipulate the trust and dependence of a dongsaeng?
He remembered how Jaehyun had come to him, hurting inside and out, lonely, confused, unwanted. How he'd sought solace in Taehyung, his friend, his mentor. But Taehyung had tainted their bond with his sexual appetites. He had corrupted comfort with passion and both their lives had been ruined. He gagged and wretched dryly, nauseated by how close he'd come to hurting his precious bun like that, of ruining him like that.
He shouldn't go back. The risk of a repeat of today's mistakes was too great. He was too weak to the whims of his body, too aware of the hybrid's. But Jeongguk needed him, whether he liked to admit it or not. It wasn't fair to punish the boy for his own short comings. He just had to tighten the reigns of his control, bury his unethical thoughts and feelings and prove to Jeongguk that he could be worthy of his trust once again.
A/N Ok so Tae has many, many, MANY issues we didn't know about. We'll find out more about him and Jaehyun later. (Who is not based on a kpop person but just a google search for common names)
How do we feel about Taehyung's hang ups?
I know it's borderline homophobic in some places but that's subjective. I love the gays! I am the gays! Anygays, moving on...
I realised that their relationship is similar to DDlb but JK is not a little and Tae isn't a Dadddy. Well, not really. He's just nurturing. Their relationship is a will be a bit more complex than that but we're going to start seeing some definite dom/sub roles emerging. Hooray!
Remember to vote my lovelies!
I purple you!