Goodbye

Bipolar

Being bipolar isnt like being depressed. Sometimes you do things and five minutes later you forget, "what happened?" its not the same as being embarassed for blurting out something stupid infront of your crush or anything like that. Its a literal question. You dont remember why you were sad or angry. You dont remember the last time you were genuinely happy. Most of the time youre angry and sad and happy at the same time for no absolute reason. You might be empty inside,and its raining in your chest and youre fucking depressed but youre laughing and jumping around like a monkey because your body tells you to. One time i was smashing everything in my path, screaming at the top of my lungs, attempted suicide at the nearest resevoir. And one hour later i was hanging at the mall with my friends laughing and flirting with every boy i know like i didnt just try jumping infront of a speeding car. You forget how to feel normal.You forget how to feel. You forget how to breathe. You forget how to live. You forget. Youve forgotten.