Niklaus Wade
The halls are filled with students but that's to be expected. The third period bell rings so students pile into the hallways on their way to the cafeteria for food that wasn't really pleasant tasting but I guess eating that was better than starving for another hour and a half. It was hard for me to walk through these halls when there were so many people rushing to get into one room so I hung back a bit, flinching and folding into myself to avoid brushing my shoulders against anyone.
I really wonder how I ever survived high school with my touch anxiety, there has been many times where students would come close to me and nearly run into me but they never did. Now that I think about it, whenever a person came too close for comfort near me, a guy with his hoodie up would push the person or shove them and the guy would just disappear.
At first I thought it was just some guy urgent to get to where he wanted to be but after it kept happening from Sophomore year until maybe the first week of senior year, I knew it wasn't a coincidence but maybe it wasn't the same guy but everything about the hooded figure screamed that it was the same person.
The hoodie was different each time but the physical built, the large hands that pushed the people away and the fear on the persons face as they whipped around, saw the person underneath the hood and ran away was always all too familiar. I could be reading into it, maybe I was just imagining things. There was no way some guy in a hoodie noticed my distress whenever people came by and had enough care in the world to come to my rescue.
The guy probably didn't even know who I was but always just happened to be at the right place, at the right time. A blessing in a hoodie. Someday I wanted to see who it was, maybe thank him even if I could just be imagining things.
While everyone piles into the cafeteria, I walk straight past the double doors filled with loud students chatting about whatever sparked their interest. My legs take me down the hall, passing by the old black vending machine that didn't work and never worked. Sighing, I watch as a kid who looked to be maybe a sophomore kicks the machine relentlessly trying to get their treat out. It most likely got stuck as it was falling, peeking a little closer I see his snack is Welch's fruit snack, the blue one with the mixed fruit flavor.
I began to feel bad for the poor kid, his snack is literally inches from being released from the hook but it was being held tightly within the hooks grasp. Looking at the scene as I casually pass by I'm reminded of me back in my Freshman year.
I was in front of the machine much like the kid was and I was shaking the machine, or attempting to, but I was too weak and I was three or four inches shorter than I am now. Fortunately my snack fell, the delicious treat was a Rice Krispy, and I was excitedly ready to dip down and pick it up to eat as I was too anxious to go into the cafeteria room filled with upperclassmen so this is all I had to eat. My luck ran out and I darted away when, in the corner of my eyes, a large male came and swept my treat into his hands almost knocking into me.
I didn't know what to do, I especially didn't know what to do as the guy wore a smirk on his face with a look that by no means meant any good was to come. He was closer to me and called me a small kid that he could pummel but the pummeling he spoke of never came because that's when Gnashton came and smashed into him knocking the guy off his feet. The Rice Krispy fell and Gnashton swiped it into his hands, tossing it my way before he banged his fist against the vending machine only two times and three items fell easily.
I caught the Rice Krispy in my hands just barley, I had looked like a complete idiot trying to scramble to grasp the Blue snack. Then I awaited for Gnashton to pick up the three snacks he got for free due to his impeccable strength that intimidated me and had me cowering as I waited for him to leave so that I could sit in the corner of the vending machine to eat my snack. He hadn't picked up the snacks, instead he shoved his hands into his pocket and walked away without sparing me a glance.
I watched in confusion but flinched when the tall built guy who was about to pummel me stood and glared at me, telling me he'd crush me. That day, I took the other snacks in the vending machine wondering why Gnashton smashed his hands against the machine only to get snacks and leave them. Aside from that thought, my fear for the guy began. That guy is Weston and from that moment on, my entire freshman year he picked on me and nearly tried to beat me up.
He once sent me into a panic attack because he grasped my neck and choked me. My body spasmed, my breathing irregular and I felt uncontrollable like I was dying. When he dropped me, I didn't see what happened to him because my body convulsed and I passed out but the rest of the year, up until now, Weston disappeared and no one knew what happened to him. Although I was heavily curious, I never questioned it because I was just glad he didn't bother me anymore.
My touch anxiety worsened since then but since that incident I began to feel like I had some type of guardian angel looking over me but that was impossible and I knew that but even Hazel pointed out that strange things have been happening. A guy picks on me and suddenly the next day I see Gnashton beating the life out of them or at least, I don't see it because watching someone get beat up sent memories flooding my mind.
The sight of blood, the look of vengeance, the cries of pain all send my body reacting violently and I began to hyperventilate so I tried to avoid seeing Gnashtons fights but I knew about them. I knew his capabilities based on how many peoples he's hospitalized but no one really knew why he fought so much nor did people know why he targeted certain people.
Sometimes I'd notice some of the people he fought threatened me or bullied me one way or another once before but there was no way that it was connected to me but it also didn't make sense for him to just attack people randomly but that's what everyone believed. Hazel came up with the weird theory junior year that he beat people up for me but I didn't believe that. Even now that I know that we're mates, I don't think he did it because of me.
Maybe hurting people helped him relieve stress. What I did know is that his violent tendencies stresses Elijah out, Elliot too but Elijah more because he's supposed to hand down the Alpha title to Gnashton but the people of the pack feared Gnashton and didn't want him as their alpha until he began to act at least more humane but Gnashton wouldn't and so Elijah continued to be Alpha but I could tell that he was growing tired and irritated towards Gnashton but Gnashton didn't care.
Sometimes I wonder what goes on through his mind, why he does what he does, what made him like this but then again I had a past I didn't want to expose to anyone so why would he.
My heart began to hurt, my teeth gnawing on my bottom lip as I walk into the library. I wanted to see him, to feel his touch. He was the one thing I was craving at the moment, the one thing that made me feel like I was alive. I didn't want to say it, I didn't want to think it but it was hard to suppress these feelings.
I miss him.
I release a breath as I hand the librarian my pass and walk to the back of the library where nobody went and I slumped down in a chair. I can't believe I actually admitted that to myself. I miss him. Inside, I was whimpering but so was Nate. His cries, his longing for Gnashton fueled my desperation to see Gnashton even more but I was the one holding myself back from seeing him. I was the one who was inflicting torture onto myself.
I wanted to better myself but I wasn't doing what I needed to in order to better myself. Sometimes I felt like I did more harm than good to myself. I only kept myself in the constant state of depression that revolved around me. The only good I did for myself was accepting Hazel into my life.
Hazel wasn't here today though which was why I was in the library. Usually we'd eat lunch together in the cafeteria sometimes with Hunter because he was obsessed with her. Well, not exactly obsessed but he really loves her so I'll throw around that word loosely. Both of them weren't here today because Hunter wanted to take Hazel out on a romantic adventure.
It sounds cringey and I even rolled my eyes when she gushed like a little girl about it but really I was happy for her and excited that she was so excited. He always did nice things like this for her, my heart stutter a bit as I imagined Gnashton and I like that but I destroyed the image as soon as it came to my mind. Hopeless thinking.
I lay my head on the cold circle table I sat at that's hidden behind tall shelves upon shelves filled with books. The section in front of me is the science fiction section, literally the worse types of books but I was biased because I preferred reading in the fiction section as it was more interesting and I often felt myself being transported into the book whenever I took the time to read but I hardly had the time to read anymore. I was much more busy wallowing in my pity most of the time.
As I'm laying my head, thinking about maybe grabbing a book to read I hear the school bell ring as lunch is dismissed which means we have probably five or six minutes to get to our last period class. I stand instantly because my class is on the opposite side of where the library is. I push my chair back into the table and begin to walk in the middle of the two bookshelves that are parallel to each other but a girl blocks my way.
I can no longer walk forward as there isn't any space and I can't squeeze past because the space between the shelves is only meant for one and she's taken up the space. Her blocking the way is the least of my worries, what really worries me is the hateful glare on her face. She looks at me like I'm dirt but what alarms me is two other girls appear behind her. It looks like they're caging me in as they move forward while I anxiously back away but try as hard as I can to not show my fear but I can't help it and it rolls off me in waves.
I'm terrified because these girls are werewolves, something I can tell because all werewolves have a smell to them which is how we identify amongst each other. This school is a blend of werewolves and humans. The werewolf population is an accumulation of both the Silver Creek Pack that I'm apart of and The Blue Moon Pack while the humans are just nearby the area. The werewolf population makes up about seventy percent of the school leaving only thirty to the humans. While some know we're wolves some, most, don't.
These looked like the type of girls who's daddies were well known within a pack so they had connections to the Alpha who had all rule within the pack even though a pack was mostly democratic, The Alpha had the complete last say. The Alpha usually did what was right but there was always a chance that if the pack unanimously hates the Alpha in charge or the upcoming Alpha, they have a say in opposing their title as Alpha.
This is exactly why Elijah hasn't brought up Gnashton to be the new Alpha because nearly everyone in the pack hates him so if he's brought up and everyone, as well as the elders who hold a lot of power too, do not agree with the decision to crown Gnashton Alpha, he won't become Alpha despite his Alpha blood. It didn't seem like Gnashton cared but Elijah did.
He always talked about how he saw something in Gnashton and would wait until Gnashton got his act together before he ever proposed him to be the Silver Creek's Alpha. I didn't really care about all of that stuff but just thinking of Gnashton made me long for him even more, especially at this moment.
The first girl who came closer with that scowl on her face, I knew to be Jeni Hill. She's on the dance team just like these other two girls who I didn't know the names of but they always hung around Jeni like they were her minions.
She's also the girl who is supposedly dating Weston as said by many but I've heard people talk about her and how they've laid her before so I wasn't sure what her deal was but I did hear Weston's friends talk about how Jeni is his girl but I'm not sure what's going on. It wasn't really my business.
"We heard some disgusting news that we need to clarify," Jeni speaks, her voice high pitched, her hand reaching up to throw her brown hair over her shoulders, "Are you Gnashtons mate?"
My eyes widen and her lips curl into a snarl. She shrieks out as if she saw something disgusting and as an automatic reaction I step back and withdraw myself away from her like I was a bug she saw.
"Ew, super gross," the brown skinned girl to the right of Jeni speaks with annoyance on her face.
"What even," the pale girl with slanted cat like eyes to the left of Jeni snickers.
I shrink back, my self esteem dropping until it's a small thing cowering on the floor. They made me feel like I was nothing and there wasn't a thing I could do but to watch as they bluntly depict their disgust and irritation. I didn't confirm Jeni's question but I suppose my wide eyes gave it away. The way they looked at me made me think that this is the exact expression that will come onto everyone in this schools faces when they realize I'm Gnashton Wade's mate if everyone in this school didn't know already.
I think back to Archer and my stomach fills with dread when I begin to presume that she's told Caspian and he's now spreading it all over the school that I'm mated to Gnashton. I didn't know he hated me that much. I knew this would happen, I just hoped that it wouldn't, that maybe, just maybe she'd keep this a secret but I don't even know why I ever thought that. It's not like Archer liked me, even if she did she liked Caspian way better as they are best friends.
"So this is exactly what's going to happen," Jeni puts a dangerously vicious look onto her face as she takes a step forward.
I take one back and flinch slightly when she raises her right hand and points her first finger, that's manicured to perfection with acrylics on her nails with the color being burgundy and her top coat clear and glistening, at me. I know all this because of Hazel who takes me with her to get her nails done when Hunter or Easton are too busy to go with her or when they just secretly just don't feel like it.
"Gnashton would never be caught dead being your mate so stay away from him if you knows what's good," she spits out.
The only thing I can do is swallow, her words piercing my insides. She's right.
"Besides, Jeni is meant to be his mate," the brown skin girl smiles sweetly at Jeni who flips her hair and nods in agreement.
"You're totally right, Nia," Jeni claps her hands in excitement while my heart breaks behind her, not like any of them noticed.
Jeni turns back to look at me and with a smirk she says, "be alone, like how you're supposed to be."
Jeni snaps her fingers and she disperses with her other two clones. When they're gone, I back into a shelve and slide down until my bottom hits the floor. Wrapping my arms around myself, my eyes remained trained onto the floor. Everyone either loved or hated Gnashton, either wanted him to suffer or wanted to press their dirty lips onto him, either wanted their way with him or wanted him gone.
There are other girls like Jeni out there who wouldn't stand watching him and I being together regardless of us being mates. There would always be people who would try to spilt us up if I ever decided to try anything with him. I would get hurt, taunted, bullied way worse if they knew we were mates. It's better this way. With my eyes analyzing the spec of dirt of the floor I begin to think with finality that...
That I will never accept Gnashton Wade as my mate.
You guys must hate this. I even hate this but just hang in there, literally have said that numerous times lol. But omg Jeni is such a bitch.
~xoxo, Babybird.