~Xander~
"Does my outfit scream casual gay but not too gay?" I said, modelling my third outfit for Achilles. This one was an orange, long sleeved shirt with a pale blue collar and dark jeans. "Do I look like an orange safety cone? Be honest."
Xander's outfit —
Achilles groaned, "Your potroast is going to burn if you're spending all this time changing. Everything you wear looks fine." Achilles was wearing a short sleeved light blue shirt and dark blue jeans. I'd chosen the outfit for him because I liked the way it made his arms look.
Achilles' shirt probably, maybe more form fitting around the biceps, and darker jeans obviously. —
He didn't seem excited or apprehensive about dinner, only resigned. That didn't mean Achilles didn't do his due diligence by inviting his family to dinner. It had been almost a month since he came out to his family and pack. Coming out looked good on Achilles, he was a bit more thoughtful and less paranoid. Always greeting me with a hug and a kiss on date night no matter who was around or where we were. It was like he'd finally stopped looking over his shoulder.
But, I saw the old tenseness return around his eyes as the seconds ticked closer to dinner. I'd spent all morning cleaning and making the dining table. My mother came over in the afternoon to help me cook since Achilles was essentially useless in the kitchen. I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I asked him to perform any other number of tasks.
Achilles meeting my mother had gone okay. He'd seemed nervous, not sure how to approach her. I liked to think I got my beauty from my mother. Her skin was dark and deep, smooth and seamless broken up by her high cheekbones, small nose and full lips. She was small, only coming up to around my shoulder and kept her scalp bald. Even without hair no one could mistake her features for anything other than feminine. She wore a yellow sleeveless summer dress, that made her dark skin especially stand out.
She smiled when meeting Achilles, reaching out a hand, "My son's lover, nice to meet you. Dating a third of a year and I'm only meeting you now." My mother's voice seemed to surprise Achilles and I realized it was probably because we both had that distinct rasp.
Achilles shook her hand with both of his, "It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs—"
My mom smiled, "I've been divorced for a while now, please, call me Ama."
"You look so young." Achilles was still shaking her hand, almost frantically.
My mom laughed, "Well, I am a vampire, dear." She looked to me, "Xander, some blood, if you will."
I left them for a moment to talk and got my mother a packet from my blood fridge. I checked on the roast in the oven and checked it's internal temperature with a thermometer. When I came back to Achilles and my mom they were sitting together on the couch and my mother was paging through a photo album.
"And this is Xander when he was five. He was so precocious, always asking me questions. All about music." I leaned over to look at the photo, seeing a black and white picture of me as a child, playing with other kids from my village. Human and vampire alike. "There was one piano in the village and all he'd want to do is play on it. It didn't take very long to realize he was a prodigy. Even among vampires, prodigies in anything are rare, normally our age is what gives us an edge. Henry didn't want us to live in the village. But, I told him one of my conditions for marrying him was that we live in the village for at least the children's childhoods. My culture is very important to me." My mother paged through the album, pointing to my father. "This is my former husband, Henry Konrad von Ostermaier. He gave me my two wonderful children." The picture was in a sprawling field, with my father wearing a traditional Ghanaian outfit matching my mother's. They were standing together, holding the infant that was me, and my older sister was standing beside my father. She was the only one smiling for the picture.
—When I'm talking traditional outfits, I just mean they're wearing something like this. Not sure if I mentioned but Xander's mom is African but specifically from Ghana. She probably would've been there at a time when it was called the Gold Coast. Since, y'know she's a vampire. Remember, Xander's dad is White, probably German and that his parents' arranged marriage was meant to better unite the European and African vampire alliance due to their past issues mainly due to slavery. —
Achilles looked up at me, "You have a sister?"
I blinked, "Yeah. What, did she never come up?"
He started looking offended, pursing his lips, "Yes, Xander. She never came up."
My mom interrupted, "They have a good relationship, they've just been a bit distant the past year or so. Klara is closer to her father, and Xander doesn't—"
"Are you helping me with the food, Mama?" I interrupted, speaking in French because I knew she didn't like the language. I slipped into Twi then, "Don't talk to him about her, we need to focus on dinner."
But Achilles still looked annoyed, fiddling with his phone, "My mom sent me a text. They'll be here in a half hour."
"Oh my God." I said, "It's go time, people. We need to make this the best dinner ever. Achilles, you need to find some smooth jazz that says 'Welcome to my not quite humble abode. Please, feel comfortable enough to take off you shoes but certainly not your socks.' And, do we have ice? I feel like they'll want ice. My mom and I are just going to make some rice because honestly, what's a meal without rice? I'll take out the finger sandwiches." They were staring at me like I was crazy. "Chop chop people, we do not have all day."
My mom and Achilles got up off the couch as the next thirty minutes passed in a blur where my mom and I made rice, a bit of a tomato and onion based sauce, and steamed some vegetables. By the time we'd turned off the stove, Achilles told me he was going down to the lobby to bring up his family.
As soon as he was gone I turned to my mom, "Be nice."
She snorted, patting my bicep, "You're the one who should be nice. But joking aside, you really like this boy?"
I rolled my eyes, "He's not a boy, Mama. He's a man. And yes," I said, fiddling with the necklace Achilles had given me, "I really like him."
"He's not like that last one?" She said slowly, "Something wasn't right about him, even if you never told me what it was."
I swallowed, speaking quietly, "He's not like the last one."
She sighed, relieved, giving me a hug. "Well, I'm happy for you, Xander. You and Klara are so different, but I'm happy that you chose to stay near me. And, I'm not telling you to forgive Henry, because you don't owe him anything. But, I am asking you to think about it."
I locked my lips, getting ready to reply but I heard some talking coming from the hallway before the door opened. Soon, the voices became clearer and different voices commented on my apartment. My mother and I walked over to the entryway and a series of greetings occurred. My mother was the ever hospitable host, with her smiles and welcomes and offering to take everyone's coats. Once my mother went into the coat room to put things away and was seemingly out of earshot Anders had to make a stupid comment.
"Wow, what they say about vampires is true, huh?" He took an exaggerated look around my foyer, "All this money and a maid, too."
I took a step forward but Achilles gripped my forearm. His voice was even, "That's Xander's mom, Anders."
Anders' mouth worked but he didn't know what to say to that, and soon his face was beet red. It looked like he was sucking on a lemon as he stammered out an apology, "She looks so young."
I smiled, letting my fangs show, "We're vampires. We don't want to look old."
#
Dinner went remarkably well for the first half hour. My mother and I served everyone before sitting down and eating with them. Achilles had told me his parents liked boring Swiss-Chalet inspired food that was lacking seasoning. So, my mother and I amped it up with a medium rare pork roast with a herb and onion marinade, along with basmati rice, tomato sauce, steamed vegetables and mashed potatoes. I liked to think it was an elevated version of whatever it was Swiss Chalet served.
A few pleasantries were exchanged and everything almost seemed normal. My mother made Achilles' families laugh more times than I could count. She spoke easily with Achilles' step parents, and I learned a lot about their interests. Jim was apparently into golf and Lily had a thing for calligraphy. Anders was tight lipped and for the first time I learned that Harrison was some kind of physics genius and his masters was on astrophysics. That was definitely surprising, it wasn't that Harrison seemed dumb but I just felt as though the number of times he said 'bro' and 'dude' would disintegrate a few IQ points.
Lily was slicing into her third helping of pork, roast while speaking to my mom, "Wow, you've got to tell me your recipe, Ama. It's just so flavourful. And Xander, you've got a beautiful home. It's so spacious."
"Family money?" Anders asked.
My mother responded quickly, "Hmm. I would say most of Xander's money comes from his work as a musician. Although, he did work with me at the hotel in his teens after we moved to America. He wasn't a very good employee though." At the silence that followed my mom spoke again, "What is it you do again, Anders?"
Anders was quiet, "I'm a mechanic. I make enough to support my family."
"How is your wife by the way?" I asked, "Is the pregnancy going well?"
Anders put down his fork and knife. "I just—" he sighed. "I can't do this." He gave a harsh laugh, "This is ridiculous. Having dinner at my brother's boyfriend's penthouse with his mom...?!" He looked around the table at his parents and Harrison who was still wolfing down his food. Everyone else was staring at him.
"Listen," He began, "The past few weeks I've thought about things, about you Lee, and...him. All of it. I'm going to be a dad soon and when that time comes, I want the people I introduce my child to to be there for the long term. I want to introduce stability. And you suddenly being gay...That's not stable. I don't know what happened to traditional values, but those are the values I want to instil in my home. I honestly tried to accept it, but I can't. And, he seems like a nice guy, I guess. But, when my kid's born, I'm just not comfortable with exposing them to this. It isn't natural." He gestured vaguely at my general direction.
Several seconds later Harrison broke the silence. "Holy shit," He said with his mouth stuffed, "You're an asshole. This pot roast is amazing by the way, can I say that? I've said it. And y'know just disregard Andy, he thinks just because he looks like Hitler's version of the ideal Aryan man he's got to act like a Nazi."
Anders growled, "I told you to stop calling me that!"
Harrison squinted, pointing his fork at Anders, "If you think I don't remember what you said about interracial relationships."
"What did he say about interracial relationships?" My mother cut in sharply.
Harrison hesitated, putting down his fork and lowering his eyes to his plate. His voice was small, "Just not great stuff. Basically, 'the white race is dwindling as it is, we need to preserve our heritage. Miscegenation is constantly shoved down our throats.' He may as well have said heil right there."
"You're such a damn snitch, Harry." Anders bit out, embarrassed but not refuting his claims.
For once in my life I was shocked into silence. Cleaning my apartment, inviting my mom over, cooking, none of it mattered. It wouldn't make Achilles' family suddenly accept him. It wouldn't do anything. And, them not accepting him was all my fault just like Corey hitting me had been my fault and I couldn't make anyone happy, not myself and certainly not Achilles.
Tears welled up without my permission and I got up from the table to escape to the bathroom so that I wouldn't embarrass Achilles even more. My feet slapped against the hardwood floor as I nearly ran out of the kitchen.
I stared at myself in the mirror once I got to the bathroom trying to understand what was wrong with me and why I couldn't just get this relationship thing right. I stared at my hands, slender and large, long. Manicured hands, pianist's hands. The only thing I was good at was music. Nothing else worked for me the way it did.
I turned on the tap, dousing my hands in water, before lathering them with soap, and washing slowly. I ensured that I got the suds between each of my fingers and up to my wrists. I lathered for the prescribed thirty seconds and then added more water to get my hands clean. I wished fixing everything else could be that easy.
When I got back to the table I had the distinct impression that I'd missed something. Achilles didn't have the resigned look on his face anymore, "Xander's been obsessed with having the perfect dinner for weeks, and it fucking aggravates me that you two can't be civil for the better part of an hour."
God, I was so tired of the fighting, "Achilles, let's just drop it."
Achilles gave me an odd look, a muscle ticking in his jaw. He turned back to his family, "I may as well tell you guys now. I think I'll be applying to join a new pack. I can't be somewhere that doesn't accept me for who I am. If you guys can't see me the same way as before, then maybe this is it for us, too."
"Damn, bro." Harrison said.
Jim's brows were furrowed in what I hoped was concern, "Is that necessary, Lee?"
"Yeah, Jim. I think it is." Achilles voice dripped acid.
"I've always told you, Lee. You can call me Dad." Jim's voice was soft.
Achilles scoffed, "You've been avoiding me for weeks now. Only Mom and Harry have said anything to me. You want to act like a father, then what happened to unconditional love?"
Jim didn't say anything, and Achilles clasped his hands together, "I think this has just confirmed things for all of us. We know where we stand. Being with Xander has given me the confidence to be honest about a lot of things. I was hoping this dinner could make you realize that we can be a proper family again. And I honestly can't believe you have a problem with interracial relationships, Anders. What the actual fuck?"
My mom interjected then, "I obviously don't know you, Lily, Jim, Anders and Harrison, but I've seen the damage that intolerance does to a family. If you really love him then this shouldn't be the end."
Anders narrowed his eyes at my mother, "I do love my brother. It's because I love him that I can't accept this. I think I'll be heading out, thank you for dinner, the food was lovely."
Jim's voice was quiet but seemed to rattle the entire table, "This is a very difficult time for us as a family but I'm sure you'll realize why we feel the way we do, eventually, Lee. Maybe it'll be when you can't donate blood, or you get that sickness, or when you get rejected from a job because people find out. You'll realize that you're making the wrong choice."
Achilles was shaking his head but I could tell he was hurt. His hand was clenched on his thigh, knuckles completely white in strain.
Anders and Jim stood up, leaving the table and Lily apologized profusely, saying something about she didn't feel right staying, and that she'd talk to Jim and Anders. A few minutes later Harrison was the only left, just gorging on the food.
He bit almost violently into his pork, before cutting it up into smaller pieces and scattering it around his plate, folding it into the rice, "I'll always have your back, bro. No doubt about it. And, can we do this dinner thing like once a month? I was starving before I got here."
My mother seemed confused, "Your brothers are very...different, Achilles. But, I'm glad this one appreciates my cooking."
The rest of dinner was quiet, and I found that I was struggling to pay attention to what was happening. I couldn't stop thinking about how dinner had failed spectacularly, and that I couldn't do anything right. The intrusive thoughts made dinner hard to get through and every thought felt like a dagger just cutting and cutting away.
After Harrison finally left, my mom and Achilles offered to clean up and I let them, somehow emotionally, mentally and physically exhausted. I fell asleep on the couch in the living room to the sound of Achilles and my mom talking, the smell of food and that terrible weight in my chest dragging me down.
#
Overall thoughts?
Advisory warning for the next chapter, there will be mentionings of depression, anxiety and abuse. So yeah, that means we're going to be talking about Corey.