friday | the bay
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Someone was banging on the door. I could hear them—there were two people—but I was half asleep and couldn't find the energy to open my eyes to get up.
I threw the cover over my head and proceeded to fall back into a much deeper sleep. The banging stop, but then my door swung open.
"Nia Reneé!"
I immediately sat up and was looking directly at my mother—and Jace. My eyes began adjusting to the light as my mom rambled on about why I was still sleep at this time of afternoon.
I was a confused. I looked over at the clock on my night stand to see that it was almost two in the afternoon.
"Shit." I cursed.
"Really Nia?" My mom glared at me.
I sighed, and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. "Sorry."
"Why haven't you been answering my calls? They go straight to voicemail and we both know what happened last time when you did that." She sat on the bed.
I briefly glanced at Jace who was just leaning against the door with his hands in his pockets. I missed him a lot, but I was not ready for an intervention.
Looking back at my mom, who was still waiting on a response, I shrugged. "Therapy was rough. I just came home yesterday and slept."
She grabbed my hand and squeezed. "Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?"
I immediately shook my head no. "I'm fine, mom. Just a rough day, that's all."
"Well, don't scare me like that again." She frowned.
I sighed, wrapping my arms around her neck for a hug. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that."
She squeezed me tight and ran her fingers through my hair. "It's okay. I'm just glad everything's fine." My mom pulled away slightly to kiss my forehead. "Jace said he hadn't heard from you either."
I looked at Jace. "I texted you yesterday morning."
"Oh." He said with no emotion. "Forgot."
"You need to be preparing for Milan." My mom spoke up.
I groaned and shook my head. "I forgot all about that." I sighed and threw the cover off of me.
"Well, I'll let you get to that." She got up off the bed.
"Wait, what did you want?" I looked at her.
She shook her head. "I just wanted to hear your voice."
I could tell that she'd been worried sick. I felt kind of bad. She kissed my forehead again before saying goodbye to Jace and leaving. After the door closed, silence fell over Jace and I.
I could feel his anger. I'm not sure why he was mad at me.
"I'm not goin'." Jace spoke up causing me to look at him. "I'm not goin' to Milan."
"And why not?"
He shook his head. "It's just best I don't."
I scoffed and got up out of my bed to go to the bathroom. "Okay Jace."
I watched him as he looked around the room. I lifted my brow, wondering what he was looking for. Jace started moving things as if he knew something was in here.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
He ignored me, however. I watched as he went into the bathroom, came out, and damn near flip my mattress over. "Jace!" I called him.
Jace looked at me and flexed his jaw muscles. "Where are they?"
"Where are what??"
He rolled his eyes and set his sights on my purse. That's when I realized what he was looking for. I panicked and tried to beat him to it, but he'd already grabbed it.
Jace mugged me slightly as he held the purse away from me. "Yo really Nia?!"
"It's not what you think. Just give me my purse, Jace." I pleaded.
Jace ignored me and emptied my purse onto the floor. The bottle of pills immediately fell out and Jace picked them up.
"Did you take some??" He yelled in my face causing me to flinch.
"No!"
He started to say something, but closed his mouth. His chest was heaving up and down as he bit down on his teeth. Jace has never been this mad at me before.
I really didn't know what to say or if I should even say anything. It would seem like a bad idea.
"You promised me." He said after a few seconds of silence.
"I'm trying."
"Why you ain't tell me before?" He looked at me.
I shrugged. "I didn't tell anyone."
"Adrian know."
I scratched my forehead. "Well, he's my friend, Jace. And he kind of put two and two together."
"I don't give a fuck, Nia." He stepped to me, and I stepped away. "He wasn't the only one who found you damn near dead!"
I shook my head and walked around him. "I don't need this right now."
"What else I need to kno'?" He was right behind me.
I went into the bathroom to do my personal hygiene. Jace was right behind me. I didn't answer him.
"Nia I swear you wanna answer me. I swear you do."
"And if I don't?" I challenged him. "I didn't tell you because you didn't ask, Jace. Isn't that what you tell me? You didn't ask."
He shook his head. "I'm disappointed."
I chuckled bitterly. "And you think I'm not already disappointed at myself? You think I wanted to admit that I was an addict?!" I yelled. "An addict, Jace! I was a walking zombie for a year and a half!"
"So why you started back takin' this shit?!" He held up the bottle to my face. "You bein' weak!"
"I told you that I haven't taken any." I glared at him. "And actually this is the strongest I've ever been. Please leave."
"Ion believe you. Why do you even have this shit? Huh? If you ain't takin' em, why you got em?"
I shook my head. "You wouldn't understand so just drop it."
"If you take one or if I find out you already did, I'm done." He said, throwing the bottle on the floor as he walked out of the bathroom.
"Thank you for your support!" I yelled.
The front door opened and slammed shut, signaling that he'd left. I put both my hands on the sink and allowed myself to let out the emotions that I was feeling.
I never expected Jace to react that way. The time when I needed him the most, he threatened to leave. Plus, he didn't believe me when I needed him to.
I cried for about a minute before I got myself together. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and flossed. I needed to shower and get ready before going to meet Danae at her boutique.
I needed to fake it until I make it for one day.
It took me forty minutes to get ready. My stomach was growling. I hadn't eaten anything since yesterday morning. I had to get something to eat along the way.
I grabbed my phone and keys off the stand before squatting down to pick up my stuff that Jace dropped out of my purse.
"Well, he was mad huh?"
I sighed when I heard Shiloh's voice. "Not now. Can you just leave?"
"I don't think so." He responded. I stopped what I was doing and sent a mean glare in his direction. We had a stareoff for what seemed like hours. He looked away and sighed harshly. "Fine, but I'll be back."
"Of course you are." I mumbled to myself. Suddenly, a pen flew out of my purse. I kissed my teeth and rolled my eyes. "Grow up!"
—
"He said he didn't want to go anymore." I said as I tried on my dress, looking at Danae through the mirror. "He said it was best."
Danae squinted her eyes at me and folded her arms across her chest. "I went shopping for that negro. Y'all broke up?"
I sighed a little. "I'm not sure it was a break up."
"What happened? Do you want to talk about it?"
I shook my head no. "No thank you."
She came to stand beside me, and put her hand on my back. "Are you sure? I'll beat his ass."
I laughed a little. "Thanks, but I'm sure."
Danae looked at me a little longer to be sure. She didn't look convinced, but she decided to drop it for now.
"I'm not sure if I want to go anymore."
Danae shook her head. "Oh, you're going. You obviously need the vacation. Maybe this is what you two need anyway."
I looked at her. "What?"
"Some distance."
I looked at myself in the mirror, mulling over her words. She was probably right. I let out a breath before clearing my throat. "This dress makes my ass look big."
"That was the goal." She winked at me.
I chuckled lightly. "Sold."
"I have a question." She asked. I turned around and looked at her expectantly. "Do you think Jace is the one?"
I nodded almost instantly. "Yes."
"Okay." She nodded. "Remember that. He's worth fighting for. This is just the beginning."
"I hate fighting and arguing with him."
"That's because it's not natural. You two are supposed to be fighting the problem, together. Instead it's you vs him vs the problem. The problem can easily win if you let it."
"I never thought about it like that." I said.
She handed me another outfit to try on. "You can't because you're in it. But, that's what I'm here for."
"Thanks, D."
She smiled at me, handing me the accessories that went with this particular outfit. I took it from her and went to go change.
I stayed with Danae for about an hour. I loved all of the outfits she picked out and couldn't wait to wear them in Milan. I was still bummed out about Jace not wanting to go.
He wasn't answering my phone calls or texts. I figured he wanted some space. I just wanted to talk things out.
I went on campus to the library to study for my final on Monday. I couldn't focus on it. My mind was on a million other things.
Add in that I lost all motivation to even maintain this major since I'd changed it to Art, it wasn't looking good.
I bit a piece of my honeybun, sighing softly as I chewed. I looked at my phone to see if he called back or responded to my messages. But, nothing. Was I really wrong in this situation? Or did it not matter who was?
I was just trying to be the adult here.
I shook the thought out of my mind and resumed studying. I was focused for about three minutes before I semi closed my Macbook.
I rubbed my eyes. My thoughts were winning. The sound of snickering and laughing caused me to look up.
I noticed Jace sitting with some girl and they looked to be really enjoying whatever the conversation was. I would have taken it as a innocent study session if she wasn't sitting so close to him and rubbing her hands on his arms.
This was the reason why he wasn't responding to me?
I grabbed my phone and texted him again.
Who knew you were that damn funny? She laughing like you Bernie Mac or some shit.
I watched him as he took his phone out of his pocket and read the message. He looked up immediately, looking to see where I was at. Finally his eyes met mine and he got up to come where I was sitting.
The girl looked at me, but I wasn't in the mood. I was pissed.
Jace took the seat beside me. "We're studying for a final that's it." He said lowly.
I shrugged lightly. "Engineering is funny?"
He sighed. "We just talkin' Nia. No funny business, I swear. Don't be insecure."
I scoffed. "If I'm being insecure, it's because of your actions. I have been calling you all day. Your phone clearly work."
Jace bit down on his teeth, flexing his jaw muscles. "I needed some space."
"And obviously another woman's attention."
"I told you we just studyin'." He looked at me. "I'm sorry but the last couple days been a lot."
I tried to get him to look me in the eye, but he made sure to dodge them. "Wow. You know ever since you've found out, you haven't looked at me the same." I whispered.
Jace ran a hand down his face in a tired fashion. "It's just alot, Nia." He said, finally looking at me.
"Okay." I shook my head and proceeded to gather my things.
"Stop." He whispered, trying to grab my hand, but I snatched away.
"I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do." I snapped, and pointed to the girl who was waiting on him. "Go study."
I got up to leave, but Jace was right behind me. It was clear that he didn't want to bring anymore attention to us so he waited until we were outside.
"Nia, wait!" He swung me around.
"You told me to let you in!" I pushed him. "You told me that you'll be there for me." I cried.
Jace pulled me to him and hugged me. "You right, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm here."
"I told you that I needed your patience.." I cried against him. He kissed the top of my head and reassured me that I did have his patience.
"We gon' get through it." He pulled away slightly so I could look at him. "I'm sorry for giving you even the slightest doubt."
"I have to fight everyday for the rest of my life." I looked at him. "If you're going to be in my life, I need your trust and support. I can relapse at any moment. Walk away now if you can't deal with that."
"Nah, I'm stayin' right here. You had plenty of moments to relapse but you didn't. I believe you. I kno' you ain't take them pills. I was just mad and again, I'm sorry. I'm here, Nia. I promise."
I looked up at him to be sure. The look had returned in his eyes and I nodded. "Okay."
Jace kissed me and I immediately kissed him back. "I love you." He said as he put his forehead against mine.
"I love you, too."
Whew chile! I'm so sorry for the delay. Life has been going full speed since graduation. Anyway, Jace almost folded on my girl in this chapter, but we back! A little reassurance can go a long way and we'll see if it'll pay off. Also Nia said it back omg omg.