I was silent for a moment as I debated what I should say. Finally, I moved forward and took a seat across from him. “I was visiting Justice.”
That obviously wasn’t what he’d been expecting me to say, because his eyes widened. “You were?”
“Yeah. I’ve been going down there every night for almost a month now.”
He opened his mouth and then shut it as he digested that. “Oh. Why didn’t you tell us?”
I sighed and leaned my elbows on the table. “I was worried that if you knew I was going down to the stables every night you’d think I was all better or something.”
“Oh,” he said again. “Why did you start going down there?”
I lowered my eyes. “It’s hard to explain,” I said slowly. “I was in my room one night, and if felt like there was another presence with me. It… pulled me to the stables and then to Justice’s stall. It was almost as if Luke was telling me to look after his horse.”
My dad was silent for a moment as he obviously tried to collect his thoughts. “Have you had that feeling again?” he finally asked.
“No, but whenever I spend time with Justice, it feels like I’m closer to Luke.” I hesitated for a moment before continuing. “I haven’t taken a sleeping since the first night I went down to the barn. And I haven’t had any nightmares.”
My dad sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. “I wish you would talk to us, Dana.” He held up a hand before I could reply. “I know it can’t be easy for you, but we need to at least know what’s going on in your life. I’m not asking you to share your feelings with us or anything, but you need to inform us about things like that. Okay?”
I nodded silently. This was the first time my dad had gotten upset about anything in a while, so I knew I should probably listen to him. “In that case, I should probably let you know that I’ve started riding Justice.”
My dad’s jaw dropped and he stared at me for a full ten seconds before speaking. “You’re riding him?”
“Yeah, but only walking. Although I did try trotting him a little tonight.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t suppose there is any point in me telling you it isn’t safe to ride alone, is there?”
A tiny smile tugged at my lips. “No, not really. And I wasn’t alone tonight. Chase came down there with me.”
“So he knew about your nighttime visits?”
I had the grace to look sheepish. “Yeah.”
He shook his head. “I don’t know whether to be grateful that you can confide in him, or jealous that you’ll talk to him.”
My shoulders hunched slightly in defense. “Chase is as messed up as I am, dad,” I said quietly. “He knows what to ask and when to stay quiet. I never feel any pressure from him to be someone I’m not anymore.”
My dad regarded me in silence for a moment. “I think I get it,” he replied slowly. “It also probably helps that he never knew Luke, doesn’t it?”
That made me stop and think. Was that true? Was part of the reason I was so drawn to Chase because he hadn’t known my brother? “I don’t know,” I started hesitantly. “I never thought about it like that. When I met Chase, I felt something besides emptiness for the first time since the accident. Luke took half of me when he left, and I’ll never get that part of me back. But being around Chase somehow makes it more bearable. I don’t know how to explain it any better than that.”
“You don’t have to.” He patted my hands and then stood up. “I don’t like the idea of you riding alone at night, but I’m not going to try and stop you. Frankly, I’m glad that you’re at least going out there, even if it was without us knowing. At least now that I know I can wait up to hear when you come back in at night. That way I’ll know you’re safe.”
I gave him a small grateful smile. “Thanks dad.” I got to my feet and surprised him by moving around the table and hugging him. “I’m glad we had this talk. And when I’m ready to share my riding with you, I’ll let you know.”
His arms wrapped around me as he returned the hug. “I’d appreciate that. Please try and be careful.”
“I will be,” I promised.
The next day, Chase surprised me by inviting me over to his place. It was the last thing I’d expected him to do, but I was happy to agree. Maybe meeting his foster parents would give me a little insight on him.
He picked me up from my place and drove into town. He pulled into the driveway of a large two story house and parked behind a muscular looking truck. He seemed a little tense as we walked up to the front door, but he didn’t say anything until we were about to go in. “I’ve never brought anyone home before,” he mumbled. “I don’t know what their reaction will be.”
I was suddenly nervous and I took a small step back. “I don’t have to come in.”
He took my hand and tugged me forward until I was pressed lightly against his side. “I want you to meet them. They’ll be nice to you; I think they’ll just be shocked at first.”
I blew out a breath and nodded my head. “Okay, let’s go in.”
He opened the door and we went inside. He took my coat from me and hung it up in the front closet before shrugging out of his own and doing the same. Then, taking my hand once more, he led me further into the house. I looked around at everything with interest as we went past a few different rooms. I remembered Chase’s comment about how his foster parents had a lot of money, and now I could see what he’d meant.
We reached the kitchen, where a middle aged couple was sitting down playing a game of cards. They glanced up as we came in and both of them did a double take when they saw me. They glanced swiftly at each other and then the woman smiled warmly at me. “Hello.”
“This is Dana,” Chase said. “Dana, that’s Bev and Carson.”
I smiled shyly back at them. “Hi.”
“It’s lovely to meet you,” Bev said. “Would you like something to drink?”
I shook my head. “No thank you.”
Chase started to pull me out of the room. “We’re going downstairs,” he said and then led me down the hall to a door. He opened it to reveal a set of stairs that obviously led to the basement. “Can you get down okay?”
I nodded and handed him my cane. I gripped the banister with my right hand and slowly made my way down. Once at the bottom, Chase handed me my cane back. We were in a large open room that was loaded with stuff. There was a large screen TV, a pool table, air hockey table, what looked like a pinball machine and a large assortment of game consoles. “Whoa,” I murmured.
“I know, there’s a lot of stuff down here,” Chase replied. “It was like this when I moved in with them a few months ago. Apparently Carson is just a big kid in disguise.”
I smiled as I thought of one of Luke’s favorite sayings. “The only difference between boys and men is how much their toys cost,” I said.
Chase tilted his head to the side. “I never thought of it like that, but it’s true.”
“My brother used to say it a lot,” I told him, moving to sit down on one of the couches. “So my dad was up when I went in last night.”
Chase sat down beside me and raised an eyebrow. “How did that go?”
“Better than I thought it would. We actually had a pretty good talk. I told him about the fact that I was riding Justice, and he wasn’t too upset about it. More worried about me riding alone than anything else, I think. But I’m not ready to let anyone to see me ride yet.”
“You let me see,” he pointed out.
“Yeah, but you’re different,” I stated.
“How am I different?”
I shrugged. “You just are. I know you won’t try and push me into anything.”
“Of course I won’t.” He glanced at the stairs quickly before continuing. “I know what it’s like to be pushed into things.”
I frowned. “They push you to do stuff?”
He shook his head. “No, not really. These guys are actually pretty decent. But they aren’t the only foster parents I’ve had, and most of the other ones constantly tried to make me ‘better’. I hated it. Bev and Carson generally leave me to myself, except for making sure I do my school work and my chores. They don’t bug me about not talking. They’re actually the first foster parents that I’ve spoken to since I was put into the system when I was thirteen.”
“I thought your parents died when you were ten,” I said in confusion.
I sensed him withdraw, though he didn’t move. “They did,” he said shortly.
Okay, obviously that was a topic he didn’t want to discuss. “Sorry,” I muttered.
He closed his eyes and sighed. “I didn’t mean to snap at you. There are just some things I’m not ready to discuss yet.”
“I get it. So, do you want to watch a movie or something?”
He gave me a small smile. “Sure, I’ll put something on.”
An hour later I was curled up beside him. We had started out on opposite ends of the couch, but somehow we had gravitated towards each other until we were in the middle with his arms wrapped around me and my head on his shoulder. When he turned his head slightly, it was a natural move for me to press my lips to his gently.
The kiss started out the same as all the others, but it quickly became different. He twisted his body and leaned back so that he was lying on the couch, pulling me with him. I ended up between him and the back of the couch, with him facing me. His lips claimed mine again and there was more passion in the kiss than I could ever remember feeling.
I put my left arm around him, since my right one was pinned between us. I ran my hand up and down his back over his t-shirt. Whenever I reached his left shoulder, he would tense slightly, but he didn’t say anything so I didn’t stop. He slipped one of his hands under the hem of my shirt and traced his fingers over the small of my back, causing me to shiver.
He eventually pulled away and pressed his face into the crook of my neck. We were both breathing a little heavier than usual, but we soon calmed down. When we had settled, he pulled back slightly to look at me. “Can I ask you a personal question?”
“Sure.”
“Was Adam your only boyfriend? Or did you date someone before him?”
“No, Adam was the only one. I’ve known him for a long time and he asked me out when I was sixteen. I said no at first, because I only saw him as a friend, but he eventually wore me down and I said yes. I was with him for just over a year.”
“Did you and he ever…” he trailed off, his face turning bright red.
I blushed as well and lowered my eyes. “Yes,” I admitted.
“Oh,” was his reply.
I peeked up at him form under my lashes. “Does that bother you?”
He was silent for a moment as he thought about it. “No, because you obviously cared a lot for him, and you were together for a long time.” He paused and then asked me something that I hadn’t been expecting. “Do you think you’d still be with him if the accident hadn’t happened?”
The question caught me off guard, and I wasn’t sure how to answer it at first. Would I have still been with Adam if it weren’t for the accident? “I don’t know,” I said slowly. “I thought I loved him, and maybe I did. But if our love wasn’t strong enough to endure something like that, then maybe it wasn’t strong enough to last.”
He moved one of his hands up to push a piece of hair out of my eyes. “Aren’t teenagers supposed to think that their first love will last forever?”
I smiled sadly. “Maybe normal teenagers,” I replied softly. “But you and I aren’t exactly normal, are we?”
He kissed the tip of my nose. “I feel normal when I’m with you. Does that count?”
I didn’t answer him; I just kissed him again. The movie had been completely forgotten and we spent the next fifteen minutes just wrapped up in each other. When we heard the door at the top of the stairs opened, we pulled apart, but no one came down. “Dana, would you like to stay for dinner?” Bev called down the stairs.
I looked at Chase questioningly and when he nodded I smiled. “That would be great, thank you.”
“Okay. It’ll be ready in an hour.”
When supper was ready, we got off the couch and I made my way over to the stairs. Before I could start up them, Chase moved in front of me and turned his back to me, bending over slightly. “Hop on and I’ll carry you up.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. You can’t be that heavy.”
“I’m going to take that as a compliment,” I said and then hopped onto his back. I wrapped one arm around his neck and clutched my cane with my other hand. He put his hands on my thighs and started up the stairs.
When we got to the top, he continued to walk instead of stopping like I thought he would. “Aren’t you going to put me down?” I asked him.
“Nope,” he replied.
I chuckled and rested my chin on his shoulder. “I guess I’ll just enjoy the ride then.”
He carried me into the kitchen, where Carson was already sitting at the table and Bev was stirring something in a pot on the stove. Carson looked up when we came in and he gave us a crooked smile. “You kids having fun?”
Chase nodded and allowed me to slide down his back onto my own feet again. The meal was really good and I decided that I liked Bev and Carson. Bev was friendly and warm, and Carson was more quiet, but still nice. Chase and I did the dishes and then he showed me his room, which was on the main floor. We listened to music for a little while and then he took me home.
He came down to the barn with me and watched me ride again. Afterwards he helped me brush Justice without any prompting from me. I smiled slightly to myself, thinking that I would turn him into a horse lover eventually.
Once I was in bed later on, I thought back over the past few weeks. I was a little startled to realize that I was actually starting to be happy again. I felt guilty for a moment, wondering if I should really be happy when Luke was gone. But I knew that if he was still here, he’d want me to be happy. So that night, I fell asleep with a smile on my face.
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Here you go guys. I'm not getting as many comments as I usually do, so I'm going to start asking questions at the end of each chapter to try and encourage a response.
Question: What country is everyone from?
Hope you liked the chapter. Vote and comment! Also, if I ever mention something about horses that you don't understand, let me know and I'll try and clear it up for you :-)