*Song credit to the Jonas Brothers
*Disclaimer: this is a bit more steamy than some of the other stuff in this book
I hope you enjoy my luxsoka twist on this song!
~~~
I don't want this night to end
It's closing time, so leave with me again
You got all my love to spend, oh
Let's find a place where happiness begins
By the time it was dark, Ahsoka already regretted staying on Carlac. She had to protect Lux, of course, but hanging around a group of terrorists was not exactly how she thought her trip to Mandalore was going to go. Lux had agreed to spend the night in the Death Watch camp rather than go back to the ship, which meant that Ahsoka had to stay as well.
"There's a tent for you and your woman over there," Vizsla said, pointing to a small tent next to a fire. "We'll meet again at first light."
"Thank you, Vizsla," Lux said. He looked at Ahsoka and smiled. "Well, shall we?"
She rolled her eyes. "No, this is absolutely ridiculous! I'm not going to share a tent with you. I don't even know you!" It was less about sharing the tent and more about what impression that would give him. Sure, she had feelings for him, but she was a Jedi. Their relationship was going to be strictly professional. She wasn't sure how she was going to react if he did make a move. She had been completely blindsided by the kiss they shared earlier, though she knew it was just to shut her up. Regardless, she couldn't deny that she wished it had been a real kiss.
"You know me better than you know anyone else here. Don't worry, it'll be fine. I don't think I snore, so there shouldn't be a problem. Come on." He grabbed her hand and dragged her to the tent.
It was significantly warmer inside than Ahsoka thought it would be, but regardless, she was still cold. Shili was a warmer planet, and her body hadn't exactly adapted to being in the cold for prolonged periods of time. On missions in colder climates, Anakin was always there to make sure she was comfortable. Now, she was on her own, with no one but Lux Bonteri to keep her company.
It could be worse.
Lux took off his hat and coat and placed them next to the mattress. "Home sweet home, I guess," he said. He didn't seem too impressed by the small mattress in the corner of the tent.
Ahsoka slid off her gloves and her shoes but left her coat on. She took her lightsabers and put them by Lux's coat. His eyes were glued on her the entire time. "What?" she asked.
"Nothing," he lied. "Sorry."
The flap to their tent opened, and a rush of cold air made Ahsoka shiver. It was R2, and it looked like he had something for them.
"What's that?" Ahsoka asked the droid.
He beeped excitedly.
"A heater? Thanks, Artooie. You're welcome to stay in here with us for the night." He responded negatively. "Okay, I'll see you tomorrow, then. Make sure we're up in time, okay?"
As the droid left, Lux had shed significantly more clothing. He was wearing just his pants and an undershirt now. She must've been staring, because he smiled and took his shirt off.
"There. Better?"
Ahsoka turned her head away. "Put your shirt on, please."
"Why?"
"Because." She could feel her heartbeat increasing, in spite of herself. She couldn't allow herself to act on her feelings. Her master would kill her.
"Nah, I think I like it off. And I think you do, too."
She turned around slowly and gave him a once-over. Her eyes wandered over his chest and stomach. He certainly had more muscle than she thought, and it was incredibly attractive.
He was right. She did like his shirt off.
The heater had started to kick in, so she took off her coat and tossed it in the growing pile of clothing. She was eager to change the subject. "I'm tired. It's been a long day, and I should probably sleep so I'm awake enough to keep you alive tomorrow."
"Yeah, you could do that," he said, taking a step closer, "or you could stay up a few more minutes to keep me alive right now."
We gon' dance in my living room, slave to the way you move
Hurts when I'm leaving you
Just dance in the living room, love with an attitude
Drunk to an 80s groove
We gon' dance in my living room, slave to the way you move
Hurts when I'm leaving you
Dance in the living room, love with an attitude
Drunk
He pulled a small radio out of his pocket and played an older tune that had been popular when it was first released. He extended a hand. "Ahsoka Tano, may I have this dance?"
She placed her hand in his and took a step forward. "Of course, Mr. Bonteri."
He spun her around and pulled her closer, swaying to the music. It would be a lie to say that Ahsoka didn't enjoy the way it felt to have his hand on her waist. She rested her hands on his shoulders and tried not to think about the lack of distance between them.
"Why did you kiss me earlier?" she blurted out. Where had that come from?
He shrugged. "You weren't going to stop talking if I didn't."
Well, he wasn't wrong, but he still didn't have to kiss her. "Are you sure that's the only reason?"
It was his turn to blush. "I... um... yeah, of course."
"I don't believe you. You know, it's not wise to lie to a Jedi." To be honest, she had no idea how he felt about her. But he didn't need to know that.
He spun her around again. "Okay, fine, it wasn't the only reason. Ever since I met you, I wanted to do that. You're just so..." he paused, searching for the right word, "gorgeous. Beautiful on the inside and outside. I haven't met anyone quite like you."
She smiled. So he did feel the same way.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I don't know what came over me. I didn't think I was actually going to do it, but I wasn't thinking."
It's only human, you know that it's real
So why would you fight or try to deny the way that you feel?
Oh, babe, you can't fool me, your body's got other plans
So stop pretending you're shy, just come on and
Dance, dance, dance, dance, oh
"It's okay. I..." she stopped and took her hands off his shoulders. She couldn't say it. Saying she had feelings for him would make them real, and once they were out in the open, she was subject to judgement from the Jedi Order.
She couldn't tell him, but she could show him.
Before she could talk herself out of it, she threw her arms around him and pressed her lips to his. He was surprised, but it took him no time at all to kiss her back. His hands moved to her hips as she ran her fingers through his messy hair.
He pulled away and rested his forehead against hers. "I haven't stopped thinking about you since Raxus."
"Me neither," she admitted.
She could already hear Anakin's lecture in the back of her mind, and she knew this was a bad idea that she was probably going to regret the minute she and Lux parted ways. She didn't care. No one else here knew who she was, and as far as they were concerned, she and Lux were betrothed.
He kissed her again. She could feel a number of emotions radiating off of him: desire, attraction, passion, and most importantly—love. She moved his hands to the back of her belt, and he hastily removed it, tossing it aside.
Their bodies moved as one as they fumbled with clothing. This was entirely new to Ahsoka, so she followed his lead.
His hands rested at the clasp of her tunic. "You sure about this?" he asked, his voice raspier than usual.
"Positive."
She let the tunic fall to the floor, and Lux's gaze dropped. "You're so kriffing beautiful," he breathed.
"I'm just me. I'm not beautiful, Lux."
"You are to me."
Early morning la-la-light
Only getting up to close the blinds, oh
I'm praying you don't change your mind
'Cause leaving now just don't feel right
Let's do it one more time
When Ahsoka woke up in the morning, the heater had gone out, and Lux's arms were wrapped protectively around her. She could sense that was already awake, so she rolled over and pressed a warm kiss against his chest.
"Morning, Lux."
"Good morning, 'Soka."
"How long have you been up?"
"Not too long. I haven't heard any blasters yet, so I'm assuming they're all still asleep."
"Oh." The flap of the tent was partially open, more so than the night before. The wind must've blown it open. A gust of cool air filled the room, and Ahsoka shivered.
"I got it," Lux said. He got out of bed and pulled the tent closed before grabbing Ahsoka's coat and laying it on top of the blanket covering her. He slid back under the covers with her and kissed her shoulder. "Are you still okay with last night?"
"Yeah, of course I am."
"No regrets?"
She smiled. "None at all."
"Good. So what happens after this? I'm not going to stay on Carlac, and you have to go back to the Jedi Temple. I don't see how we can make it work."
"I'm sure we'll think of something. I don't want to lose you, Lux. After I report back to my master, we can figure that out." She kissed his cheek. "There are so many other things we can do in the meantime."
We gon' dance in my living room, slave to the way you move
Hurts when I'm leaving you
Just dance in the living room, love with an attitude
Drunk to an 80s groove
We gon' dance in my living room, slave to the way you move
Hurts when I'm leaving you
Dance in the living room, love with an attitude
Drunk
Months later, Ahsoka stood outside on a balcony in the Onderonian palace, reminiscing on her time on Carlac. The ball going on inside was to honor Steela, the fallen warrior, but she couldn't bear to see the sadness in the faces of everyone close to her, especially Lux.
Truthfully, she was a little mad at the way Lux had acted toward her the whole time she'd been on Onderon. It seemed inappropriate to bring it up now, given Steela's fate, but that didn't mean it hurt any less. The image of Steela kissing Lux was burned in the back of her mind, replaying over and over. She thought she was special to Lux, but maybe she was wrong and Lux had played her. How could she have let that happen to her?
The door opened behind her, and she sensed Lux's presence.
"Hey," he said, leaning on the railing next to her. "How are you holding up?"
"I'm fine."
"You don't look fine." He took a step closer and placed his hand on top of hers. "Ahsoka, I'm sorry. I was a jerk. I just...I don't know. I made a mistake with Steela."
"It's okay, Lux. My purpose has to come before my feelings." She was grateful for his apology, but she doubted he would've apologized if Steela had survived. "But be honest with me, if Steela were here right now, would you want me or her?"
He took her hands and swayed to the beat of the music from inside.
"Answer my question, Lux."
He stepped closer and put his hands on her waist. "Remember what you said back on Carlac. You didn't want to lose me, right? And you did, for a little bit. But I'm back now, and I don't have eyes for anyone else."
It's only human, you know that it's real
So why would you fight or try to deny the way that you feel?
Oh, babe, you can't fool me, your body's got other plans
So stop pretending you're shy, just come on and
Dance, dance, dance, dance, oh
He pressed his lips to hers, but Ahsoka refused to kiss him back. "Lux, I can't. I don't like you that way anymore." She tried to calm her racing heart as his hand moved from her waist to the small of her back.
"That's a lie, Ahsoka. You're trembling. You don't have to lie to me. Stop pretending and just dance with me."
She sighed and let him spin her around. She relaxed in his embrace and rested her head on his chest. It was hard to ignore her feelings, no matter how hard she tried.
"The most important thing I learned from this experience has nothing to do with politics or war or any of that. I guess I've always known deep down, but losing Steela reminded me that our time is limited. It's time I said it out loud to you. I love you, Ahsoka. Not Steela, not anyone else. I love you."
She smiled as he kissed her, slowly and gently. All the resentment she felt toward Steela was gone, and she kissed him back just as sweetly.
"I love you, too, Lux."
A/N: Hello! Yes, I am alive! It's taken me forever to get to this book, and for that I apologize. Hopefully, I'll be able to get updates for this book back on a regular schedule in the near future.
If you're looking for something to read in the mean time, here's my shameless plug. I'll point you in the direction of my newest book, In the End. Updates for that are fairly often, and it has no shortage of luxsoka fluff XD
Thank you so much for your patience and support! I'll see you in the next update!