-Willow-
Summer time for me always involved extra classes to prepare for college. But it’s the summer before my senior year and I didn’t want to spend it behind a classroom door, starring at a whiteboard until I got a headache. I was going to make the most out of my last year with minimum responsibility and not be responsible. Of course, my trusty sidekick’s will be with me. That would include Ashley and Ash. Ever since they started dating, it was impossible to get them apart. It was gross, yet cute in a weird way.
Rebecca moved with her family a few months ago because her grandma was only getting worse. Her mom needed to be there for the final days if necessary, but I hope it wasn’t. I haven’t talked to her, but I hope her grandmother fights and gets through it all. Ashley and I do miss her a lot and plan to make a stop there this summer for a visit. That’s if I can get Ash away from her for more than five minutes.
Surprisingly, Ash did graduate. But, college wasn’t on the table just yet. He’s still blasting Blink-182 at three in the morning because it’s “therapy”. The band has practice still, but no drummer. Band practice is happening as we speak, because I can feel the floor vibrate under my bare feet when they touched the floor.
I let out a loud groan and packed up my stuff. Mrs. Lockwood asked me to babysit Alex for the weekend and of course I had no problem with it. I practically stayed over there most of the time, but there was still one place I couldn’t visit in that house. It felt so empty without him here. I always expect to see him when I go there, but the feeling turns into something else. Something not filling and more of a void.
I miss him every day.
I’ve learned to heal myself over the past few months. I was completely numb until about two months ago. I still have nightmares but no one to help me with them. I have a light scar on my neck and it’s basically a reminder. A reminder I didn’t want to have. Unfortunately, it was stuck with me. Alex always asks about it, but I can never tell him the truth. He misses his brother more than I do, and worries just as much. I try to ease his little mind as much as I can while his parent’s stay busy.
I walked up the driveway after getting out of my car. I inserted my key and unlocked the door. “Willow!” I heard Alex shout as he came running down the stairs and jumping in my arms. I laughed and hugged him back. “It’s only been two weeks.” I left a kiss on the top of his head and he grabbed my hand, pulling me into the living room. “That’s way too long.”
“I’m sorry, buddy. But school was ending and I had a lot of work.”
He picks up a controller and pushes it into my hands. “You’re forgiven.” He grinned a little and sat down next to me on the couch.
Alex and I were deep in a game of Halo when the doorbell rings. I was timid, but thought it was the pizza we ordered. We paused the game and Alex followed me to the door. I unlocked it and pulled it open to reveal Ashley and not pizza. “You’re not pizza.” Alex groaned.
I let out a laugh, “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with Ash?”
She stuck her tongue out at me and pushed passed me to get inside. “No, I have something to show you. Can we talk in the kitchen?”
I nodded and turned to Alex, “You can go ahead and start a new game. I’ll be there in a minute.” He took off before I could even finish the sentence.
Ashley and I walked into the kitchen and she pulled out her phone. “I don’t want you to be mad.” She glanced up from her phone just to look at me, but looked down again to find what she was looking for. “I didn’t know if I should show you, but I honestly couldn’t figure it out.”
I leaned against the counter and she handed her phone to me. She pointed to the tall figure in the back, drumsticks in hand. “Is that who I think it is?”
If it was, his hair was a bit longer and the bone structure in his face was stronger. “I think so.”
“I just couldn’t tell. If it is him, he’s a new band called Another World. They’re based in Las Vegas. They’re playing a show in two weeks in Huntington.”
“How’d you find this?”
“Ash actually showed it to me. Do you think it’s him?”
I double tapped the picture to zoom in on his face. And one look at his eyes told me it was Noah. Or should I call him Erik? “That’s him.” It’s the first time I’ve seen him since he left. I haven’t seen pictures because Carrie took them down around the house. And I try not to look at the folder on my computer.
“We’re going, right?”
I quickly shook my head and handed her back the phone. “No, absolutely not.”
“What? Why?”
“What if Scott is there? I can’t see either of them right now.”
She tucked her phone back in her pocket and looked at me with a sad smile. “I know, I’m sorry. I just thought maybe you would like to see him. Maybe it’ll help with the nightmares.”
“And what if it makes them worse?” I wondered, nervously picking at my bottom lip. “And Ash would never let me go.”
She huffed, “If you want to go, I can get around Ash. But that’s only if you want to go. I know you want to see him. Even if you don’t say it, I can tell. I’ve been your best friend forever and I just need you to be happy again. It sucks seeing you like this, and I’m sorry. I know it’s been nine months, but you’re still kind of absent.”
I felt the tears sting my eyes as Ashley spoke. My stomach was in knots. “I don’t think I can right now.”
“Will you at least think about it?” She pushed slowly.
My smile was only small and I nodded. “I’ll think about it.” Just about that time the doorbell rang. “Want to stay for pizza?”
“Honey, I planned on staying the weekend.” She laughed and threw an arm around my shoulders. It was nice to have my best friend with me again.
After pizza and two hours of video games and an added scary movie, Alex was off to bed. Ashley and I sat in the living room, talking about anything and everything but my brother. “Can I ask you something?” I brought my legs up and wrapped my arms around them.
She nodded and turned her whole body to face me. “Will you be there?”
“Be where?”
“If I was to go, would you be there?”
“Of course.” She answered quickly and looked at me like I just asked the stupidest question.
I started picking at my bottom lip again and she swatted my hand away. “Do you want to go? I’ll be with you all the way.”
A slight hesitation held onto my tongue. “I think so. Like you said, it could be good for me. Maybe help with the nightmares somehow. And it would be nice to see him.” I was living on the thought of seeing him again.
The following weekend was a bit more…nerve wracking. My chest would swell with anxiety for moments at a time and this is just the week before. I don’t know what I’m going to do when it’s actually time to leave, or when I actually see him.
What if he doesn’t even want to see me?
The possibility is big.
Would he even remember me?
Stupid question. But I can’t help but just wonder.
The night before the concert, I sat at my desk while Ashley was ‘talking’ to my brother. I typed in the band name into google and added Las Vegas at the end. A bunch of pictures popped up, a few sites, and the bands twitter. I decided to scroll through the pictures, which is something I probably shouldn’t have done. They’re pretty popular locally, but not well known around the world. Or even in America. Mainly the West Coast.
I found the picture Ashley showed me but also found a few new ones. Noah looked different, and I wasn’t sure if it was a good different. He was still the most gorgeous person I’ve seen, but he had new features that weren’t there when we were dating.
Like the tattoo peeking out of the sleeve of his shirt. I spotted another one on his finger and another on his wrist. That was all I could see, anyway.
It just felt like looking at a completely different person. But the same erratic beating of my heart started when I looked at him. So, that hasn’t changed.
Oh, but I wish it had.
My door swung open and I quickly shut my laptop and turned in my chair. Ashley closed the door behind her and jumped on my bed. “Watching porn again?” She teased.
“You know me too well. Can’t live without it.” I stood up and walked over to my bed. “Just trying to mentally prepare myself for tomorrow night.”
“It’ll be fine. I promise. What’s the worst thing that could happen?”
“Scott’s there.” I blurted.
She eyed me, “I don’t think he’s going to be there. Why would he be?”
“Well, I can give you a few reasons.”
She let out an annoyed sigh and tucked her knees under herself. “He probably won’t even recognize you, Willow.”
I raised an eyebrows out of curiosity. “The only thing different about me, is the hair.” I cut at least fourteen inches off, leaving it just above my shoulders. I was just tired. Tired of braiding it, tired of it all.
Ashley shrugged, “I barely recognized you. That’s gotta count for something.”
“Ashley, you’re so far up my brother’s ass, you wouldn’t even notice if I shaved my head.”
I heard her shout “Shut up!” before the fluffy pillow came in contact with the side of my head.
I let out a giggle and hit her back with another pillow. “Noah and I weren’t that bad, you guys are always so touchy. It’s disgusting.” I fake gagged.
“It’s been a goal of mine.” She held a straight face for a few seconds but only to burst out laughing a moment later.
“I can tell.”
When the next day rolls around, my stomach is in knots. I sat on my bed while Ashley was rummaging through my closet and occasionally throwing things at me. “You have the closet of an 80 year-old grandma.” Ashley muttered and shut the doors. “I’m glad you have me.” She smiled and picked a piece of fabric from her bag. “I just bought this last week, hasn’t even been worn yet.”
“Did you buy this for you or for me?”
“Would it make a difference?”
I just smiled and stood up. I laid the dress out on the bed to examine it. I brushed my fingers over the stretchy fabric. The sleeves were elbow length, but the hem of the dress definitely wasn’t going to pass my fingertips. “At least my arms won’t be cold.”
“It’s summer in California. And you’ll be surrounded by a bunch of sweaty bodies.” She scrunched her nose up at the thought.
It’ll be worth it just to see her face in the midst of the pit. “Honestly, I can’t believe Ash is letting me go.” I scooped up the dress and hung it over my arm.
“About that…” She trailed off.
I groaned and braced myself. “Oh, my gosh. What now?”
“He’s coming with us.” She said slowly.
I’ve heard worse. “I don’t care. But I’m not dealing with you two all night.”
She shrugged and pulled another dress from her bag. “You won’t have to. Promise.”
We’ll see about that.
I touched up the last bit of makeup and attempted to pull down the dress. It was tight and I was right about it not passing my fingertips. Ashley let me settle on my wedge sneakers instead of the stilettos she recommended. She could pull them off, I would just fall on my face. So we settled without making sacrifices.
We met Ash downstairs and he surprisingly didn’t say anything about the length of my dress. Instead just gave me a nod and placed his hand on Ashley’s lower back. Yeah, it’s a bit weird. And I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to them dating. The fact that my brother is actually dating someone astounds me enough.
I climbed into the passenger seat and Ashley sat in the back in the middle. Ash backed out of the driveway and we were on our way to Huntington. I was beyond nervous. I don’t think nervous begins to even describe the hollow pit in my stomach.
It’s been nine months.
Nine months since I’ve seen him.
I didn’t exactly know how I felt. Well, the feeling now is nausea. But I have Ashley and Ash here for support. That’s probably a mistake because they’ll leave me alone to fend for myself. I don’t expect him to be happy to see me. It would be nice, but it’s not expected. I wish I could expect to pick up where we left off. That’s not gonna happen, sadly. I honestly shouldn’t even be thinking about that. I just need to get through seeing him again.
We pulled up to the small venue and climbed out of the car. I trailed behind the happy couple and stood in the moving line. The line was moving pretty fast, only stopping occasionally to put a bracelet on the wrists of the people that can drink. Ash used his fake ID to get one, but I on the other hand don’t want to go to jail. I’m sure Ashley will just steal his drinks. But one of is has to drive home. And I’m guessing that person would be me. It wouldn’t be the first time.
After Ash got a beer, he pushed us towards the front until we were behind the barrier. “I don’t want to be up here!” I yelled over the loud rock music playing in the background.
“We’re here for you, dip-shit!” Ash yelled and took a sip of his drink.
“He’s the drummer, he can’t see me!”
Ash snorted and handed his drink to Ashley. “That’s bull. He saw you every time we practiced and at our first show.”
The lights went out and the crowd erupted. My stomach fell.
The beginning of a guitar riff wavered through the small space and echoed off of the walls. “We are Another World!” A gruff voice spoke into the mic, but he wasn’t visible because it was too dark. “We’re glad to be here in Huntington!” He nearly growled.
I probably should have gotten a feel of this band beforehand. Who knows, I’ll probably like it.
A single light shone and illuminated the guy standing on the edge of the stage. “This is our third time in Huntington this week and we’re just happy to be here.”
It was all a blur. The music started, the lights were flashing. People were pushing and shoving. I tried to concentrate on the stage. I couldn’t see Noah from all the flashing. The lead singer was jumping around on the stage along with the other three guys with instruments in hand. Everything was loud and it was hard to focus with all the blinking lights.
After the first three songs everything stopped. The lead singer walked to the front of the stage again, breathing heavily in the mic. “Now I remember why Huntington is my favorite place to play.” He smiled. He moved to the left side of the stage and started talking.
But I wasn’t paying attention because I finally saw Noah.
I never noticed how curly his hair actually was until he pushed a handful back. He twirled the drumsticks in his fingers, looking down at his drums. He wiped the back of his hand across his forehead and his eyebrows creased in concentration. I guess some things never change.
I think my heart stopped beating when he looked over his drum kit. He was scanning the crowd and I just fought the urge to hide behind Ash.
But it was too late because he saw me.
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I know I promised this Friday, but my little brother had surgery and everything was just crazy and I've been sooo tired and I'm gonna stop because this isn't why you're here, haha.
But I hope you enjoyed the first chapter!!!! This book will be a bit crazy. You'll get more of a backstory previous to the first book.
A SMALL STORY!!! I saw Avenged Sevenfold on their buried alive tour almost three years ago (So amazing) and Asking Alexandria opened up for them, amoung two other bands, and I swear I've never been so scared in my life I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE. I was in the pit and I'm 4'11. But it was fun after that, hahaha. So that's why that part kinda came to me.
Okay I'm going now enjoy the chapter!!! Thanks for the support, your all amazing! :)
Song: Voodoo Doll by 5 Seconds of Summer