Chapter Ten:
Good Things Come
Jake picked up Caroline's keys off of the living room floor. No one had said anything since she arrived, no one had said much of anything that night at all. He looked around the room at his brothers, making eye contact with each and every one and their imprints. There wasn't a dry eye in the room. Charlie was at that station and offered to come but Sue insisted they were fine. When one of them hurt, they all hurt. No one had brought anything over but themselves, it was all they could do. Show their support by just being there.
Caroline had come late and didn't say anything more to them but asking where her sister was and then she ran up the stairs and left them alone again.
He examined her keys. She hadn't added any keychains to it and he found it odd. There was only the key ring, his truck's key, the key fob and Charlie's house key. Upstairs, he and the wolves could hear them cry and there was nothing any of them could do about it but listen. He pocketed her keys and walked slowly upstairs, he couldn't help it. She was hurting.
He wanted to comfort her, to hold her, to whisper soft things in her ear and promise to make everything okay. When he got to the door he sank against, sitting himself down on the ground next to Sam.
The older man stared straight ahead, silent tears rolled down his cheeks as they listened. Sam, to the love of his life, the would be mother of his child. Jake, to the woman who made him feel recklessly happy and irrevocably angry all at the same time.
Jake lifted an arm and placed it around Sam's shoulders and immediately the older wolf turned into him and cried into his chest. The girl's needed one another right now, and boys needed each other.
When Emily finally lulled to sleep around 1 AM Caroline slid out of bed and filled up two glasses of water in the room's private bathroom sink. She glanced at herself in the mirror, wiping away most of the dark smudges under her eyes from her makeup. Her eyes were puffy and her hair was a mess but she put her hair in a bun and walked back into the bedroom. She wasn't going to look any better tomorrow.
She placed one glass on Emily's bedside table and the other on Sam's before kissing her half-sister on the forehead and sneaking out of the room. She wasn't shocked to find Sam curled up and sleeping outside of the door, but she was surprised to find Jake next to him. She would have smiled under different circumstances, she may have even laughed. Instead, she knelt down next to Sam and shook him gently.
"You should be with her," was all she said and he immediately got up and went into the room. Before he shut the door he nodded to her and she gave him a small smile and nodded in return. Caroline stared at the door for a few moments before she turned back to the other sleeping form in the hallway.
Her heart broke as she watched him. Dried tears stains streaked down his cheeks, his hair was sticking out in all directions and the way he was curled in on himself made him seem so small. It was a heartbreaking contrast to the usual larger than life man he always presented himself as. His brow was furrowed in his sleep and his breathing was deep but semi-irregular.
Caroline placed a hand on his feverishly hot arm. "Jacob," she said softly as he stirred underneath her touch. "You should get to bed. It's late." His eyelids fluttered open and he stared at her blankly for a few moments, as if trying to orient himself. The pain in his expression was so deep that Caroline had a hard time looking him in the eyes. Was her face as easily readable. "Jake?" She repeated, placing a small and neat smile on her lips, hoping it appeared comforting.
He clenched his jaw and started to sit up. "Is she?" He let the question hang.
"Sam is with her," Caroline said. "You should find a place to sleep, if you stay on the floor you'll be sore in the morning." She smiled weakly at him. Emily wasn't around to mother anyone, she thought. She took care of all of them.
She and Jake stood up together. "One of these rooms should be open. Why don't you take one and I'll get you some water." He started to protest but Caroline put a hand on his forearm. "Go to bed, Jake," she ordered softly. She didn't wait for him to answer as she made her way downstairs to the living room.
Paul and Shawn were cuddled up on the loveseat underneath a blanket, Jared and Kim lay on the L-shaped sectional with Embry, Quil and Seth lay on top a mountain of blankets on the floor and Sue was curled up on the recliner. Colin and Brady had likely gone home because they had school in the morning and Leah was nowhere to be found. She was almost hurt by her cousin's absence, but Caroline found she couldn't blame her. She couldn't imagine what the older girl was thinking and she decided not to dwell on it. Someone needed to take care of everyone. Emily would have wanted them cared for during this time.
As quietly as she could, Caroline went about refilling and distributing glasses of water and giving blankets to those who didn't have any. She placed a pillow under a lightly snoring Seth's head and removed Sue's glasses for her and placing them on the end table. When she turned to make sure she didn't miss anything she felt a tug in her heart.
Everyone looked almost peaceful. They all had come to support Emily in a way Caroline had never witnessed from anyone of her friends. She almost felt jealous of her half-sister for having such a strong support system. Caroline hadn't heard from any of them since she called Tian over a week ago. She did push them away, she knew, but - she cut herself off. Now wasn't the time to compare her life to Emily's.
Caroline turned towards the kitchen and she saw Jacob watching her from the base of the stairs with an expression on his face she couldn't identify. She nodded to him awkwardly and went into the kitchen to get him and herself some water.
"Find any open beds?" She whispered, handing him a glass before sipping on hers. She was feeling dehydrated from crying for however long she laid in bed.
Jake's eyes searched her face and she suddenly felt naked and vulnerable standing in the kitchen barefoot. "There's one upstairs," he swallowed.
She nodded. The silence was heavy and she quirked her lip in attempt to smile. "You didn't go to bed like I told you to." She attempted at a joke but her eyes started to feel wet and heavy. She looked away.
She saw him move from the corner of her eye but she still shivered when his hand cupped her chin, tilting her face up to look at his. "I was waiting for you."
Caroline's heart hammered in her chest and she couldn't respond. She leaned into his hand, using him as an anchor as she tried not to succumb to the grief of the night. Neither said anything as his hand moved from her chin, to her neck, her shoulder, and down her arm until his hand captured hers.
Her vision blurred as he lead them upstairs, turning her into a spare room. He shut the door softly behind her and Caroline found the will to move herself without his guidance and climbed under the covers of the bed. She moved towards the end of the bed and faced the wall to give him space to join her.
The bed dipped beneath her after a few moments but instead of staying to one side, Jake hooked an arm around her waist and pulled her flush against his warm body and she shivered, not realizing how cold she had been. He curled around her and in the safety of his arms, Caroline cried herself to sleep.
Caroline woke up alone, cold and in the dark that morning. When she got out of bed, she found a note on the bedside table in simultaneously neat and messy handwriting.
Tribal meeting this morning, I'll see you tomorrow
Jake
She didn't peek into Emily's room. She had a feeling she was in their with her husband and wouldn't want to be disturbed so she went downstairs and found her Aunt Sue on the front porch drinking a cup of coffee. The sunny Spring morning lit up the house and the house suddenly felt incredibly empty. Caroline had grown accustomed to the constant hussle and bussle at the Uley House. She assumed most of them were attending the tribal meeting as well. Leaving her, Emily, Sam and her aunt.
Caroline slipped on a pair of slippers and joined her aunt outside. "Have you talked to Emily's mom?" She asked as she sat on the porch swing next to Sue.
The older woman shook her head. "Emily wants to tell her." She put down her mug and sighed. "I have to go to work soon. Will you stay here? Keep an eye on her?"
Caroline nodded. She didn't bother telling her she couldn't find her keys and wasn't able to leave even if she wanted to.
"How are you?" Her aunt said, her eyes never leaving the forest in front of them.
Caroline glanced at her aunt. "How are you?" She asked back.
Sue smiled. "Billy said you will be joining us next Saturday," she said before standing. "It's about damn time. I should get going." Sue held out her mug for Caroline. "Will you take this in? I'll see you at home."
Her aunt left quickly before she could ask what she meant by 'it's about damn time'. Not that she disagreed. Caroline sat on the porch swing for another half hour just listening to the birds and enjoying the breeze. The only downside was that she was now alone with her thoughts.
Her heart broke for Emily. She couldn't even begin to fathom what she was going through. Being a mother was something Emily had always wanted, and it was something everyone knew she would be amazing at. It was in her nature to take care of everyone and to be kind. Little kids loved her.
Caroline wiped a tear from her cheek. She had managed to escape these intense feelings of sadness for so long that she wasn't sure she could handle them again, not so soon. It had been just over two months since her father's death. Not enough time to fully greive, but enough to realize that the world moves on. But their Earth was thrown off kilter again. She just hoped Emily remembered to rise faster than Caroline had.
She was so lost in her thoughts she almost didn't see Leah come out of the trees. She stood slowly, as if she was afraid to scare her off. Partially because she was.
"Hey Leah," she said, loud enough her voice would carry.
Her cousin nodded. There was no sneer on her face, it was perfectly blank. Caroline didn't know what to say. The taller woman came up to the porch and sat down on the swing, gesturing for her to join.
It turns out she didn't need to say anything. Leah laid her head on Caroline's shoulder and they sat in silence for a long time.
Caroline's heart felt almost filled. She hadn't seen or interacted with her cousin in so long, and being cut out due to her guilt by association after Sam left her had stung. They were close once, as close as Leah allowed people to get other than Sam.
Sitting on the porch with Leah's warm body against her reminded her of Jake's body curled around her. She flushed, thankful her cousin wasn't paying her any mind. And even if she was, Leah wasn't one to ask. Caroline couldn't explain it, but she had felt safe in Jake's arms, protected, supported. He had held her close all night but she couldn't read into it. She had witnessed time and again just how touchy the boys were with each other. They were all very close, and being physical was a part of their nature. She needed comfort and he gave it to her.
It was nice and kind of him and that was all. She found she wasn't mad about it. She felt lost without a group of friends to help anchor her and she thought maybe now she had one.
Caroline didn't know how long they sat there before Leah turned her head towards the door. "Emily is awake." She stood abruptly. "You should go see her." Leah turned to leave.
"Do you want to come inside?" She asked, watching carefully as her cousin paused. "Emily will want to see you."
Leah didn't look at her, but Caroline could hear the pain in her voice. "Not yet, Care." She started jogging towards the forest she came from as Emily opened the front door.
Her sister sighed as she watched their cousin disappear into the treeline and Caroline stood quickly. "Is there some secret trail system in these woods that helps people get from one destination to another quickly I don't know about or is everyone in La Push just a shirtless, barefooted nature freak?" She teased, her smile widening as Emily grinned.
"Ask Jake to show you sometime," she quipped back, causing Caroline to narrow her eyes. Emily motioned for her to join her inside. "I saw his note for you on the nightstand." She opened the fridge and held up a bottle of orange juice out to her. "Anything you want to talk about?"
"Anything you want to talk about?" Caroline shot back, a little rougher than she meant to. Emily was deflecting, a coping mechanism the two girls shared that they must have inherited from their mother because Caroline's dad took everything head on.
Emily's face darkened. She put the juice on the counter and slid onto the stool. "Miscarriages happen in one in four recognized pregnancies," Emily started. "Did you know that?"
"No." Caroline didn't and she was sure Emily just learned it. Her older sister had a tendency to learn every fact related to anything that was happening to her or those around her and then share them until whatever she experienced felt justified.
"There's a stigma around miscarriages." Caroline nodded. "When you first came we ran into each other in the hospital, remember." She nodded again and Emily continued. She likely would have kept going even if she didn't. "I was experiencing a lot of back pain so I went in to see Dr. Cullen. He warned this could happen." Emily's hand rested on her stomach and Caroline's heart clenched. "But I just didn't think it would."
"Oh, Emily," Caroline said softly. She reached over the table and grabbed her sister's hand. "I'm so sorry."
Emily shook her head. "It's not your fault," she said as she squeezed her hand. "It's okay, it's not your fault." She continued whispering comforting words to Caroline as she began to cry. Her younger sister got up and walked to the other side of the counter.
"You need to stop trying to comfort me, baby." Caroline wrapped her arms around her sister. She looked up over Emily's head and watched Sam stand helplessly at the base of the stairs. Caroline leaned away from her sister. "Hey," she whispered. "Why don't you go get some rest? I'll fix up some breakfast for you, okay?"
"It's 2 PM," Emily sniffed as she was transferred from her sister's arms into her husband's arms.
"Lunch, then."
She shook her head, "I'm not hungry."
Caroline narrowed her eyes. "I'll give you a free pass for now, but you're eating dinner. And that's final, young lady."
Emily giggled as Sam scooped her up. "I love you," she whispered over his shoulder to her as he walked them to the stairs.
"I love you," Caroline said back.
Emily didn't come down for dinner that night. Caroline and Sam made pasta together and ate in silence. Seth came over and ate with them. Both men went to bed immediately after finishing and she normally would say something about the dishes but decided to let it slide. Seth crashed on the couch and she made sure he was comfortable before going up to the guest room she slept in the night before with Jake.
Seth mentioned that Jake would try to be here later tonight but probably wouldn't make it until the morning, he had picked up Caroline's keys when she dropped them and would return them to her then. She didn't bother asking why he didn't just give them to Seth. He was busy with urgent tribal business her cousin had said. Whatever that meant.
Caroline had just fallen asleep when the door to her room opened slightly. She shot up in bed immediately. "Is everything okay?" She started to climb out of bed. "What's happening -"
"Shhh," a familiar warm hand found hers. "Everything is okay. Go back to sleep."
"Jake?" Caroline turned on the bedside table. "Oh my god, what happened?" Jake was shirtless, which was unsurprising, but his torso was covered in a massive purple bruise. He started to push her back into bed but she pushed against him. "Jake." She said sternly, "what happened?" She reached her fingers out to brush his skin and pulled back when he flinched.
"It's a long story?" He grinned at her.
"Not funny." Caroline found another bruise on his shoulder and he had a couple of thin scratches on his cheek. She scooted over and pulled him into the bed with her. He cursed softly as he lay in bed. "I'm going to get you some ice packs," she said as she started to climb over his legs.
"No, wait, Care," he grabbed her forearm. "It's not a big deal, really. I took a bad fall on my bike on the way home. They only look bad because it's dark, I promise. I'll be good as new tomorrow."
"Then I revoke your bike privileges and you're taking your truck back." She tried to pull away from him but his grip was firm.
Jake laughed, causing her to to back to him. He rested his upper body on his elbows and in the orange lamp light Caroline took in his form. The bruise did look better from there, almost as if it had gotten smaller, and she could hardly see the discoloration on his shoulder. Her eyes wandered back to his face, pointedly trying to ignore the way the shadows contoured his ads when she saw him staring at her.
His eyes were lit up in the dim light and his smirk was devious. "You revoke my bike privileges? On what authority?"
Caroline narrowed her eyes at him. "On my authority." She stifled a yawn. "I need to get you a couple ice packs before I fall asleep."
"Caroline, look at me please." Jake grabbed her cool hands in his warm ones. "I've already iced it for an hour. You won't be able to sleep if I am covered in ice packs because you will freeze," he added matter of factly.
"Then I'll get you ice packs and sleep somewhere else."
His grip on her hands tightened even though her voice was tired and not particularly motivated to fulfil her promise to get his bruises iced. "I'd like to go to sleep now." Caroline nodded finally, letting him guide her until she was laying on the bed next to him. "Goodnight, Care" he whispered into her hair and she fell asleep to the feeling of his breath tickling her neck.
She woke up sweating. Her head rested on Jake's chest and his huge arms pinned her against him. He was so hot. She had learned to stop questioning his feverish temperature, but she didn't think she could stand being so close to it any longer.
Caroline would have felt embarrassed to have spent the last two nights in bed with a man if she was suffocating. When trying to pull away only caused him to wrap her up tighter in his arms she started to poke him in the face.
"Jake," she said. "Jacob. Jacob Black. Wake up." Caroline tried wiggling away again but to no avail. "How can you stand this heat?" She grumbled.
"You get used to it," his voice rumbled in his chest, thick with sleep.
Caroline gaped at him. "Let me up, jerk off. You're too hot." One of Jake's eyes opened and he grinned at her. "You know what I meant, freak." His opened up his arms with a sigh and in the most dramatic fashion Caroline could muster she rolled away from him. "Fresh, cool air - oh!" Her overzealousness and overestimation of the size of the bed nearly sent her falling off the edge.
Jake started laughing, making no moves to help her and he turned and rolled onto his side. "I believe that's karma."
"I believe you don't know what karma is," she rolled her eyes. Memories from last night flooded her thoughts and she pulled the sheet off of him. She could read the sarcastic comment on his lips but interrupted him before he got the chance. "What happened to your bruises?" She reached out to the spot on his torso that she remembered being a vibrant black and blue. The coloring was now mostly yellow and a pale purple. His shoulder bruise was completely gone and his cheek was free of any abrasions.
Jake's face fell and he started to push himself out of bed. "I told you they were nothing."
"They weren't nothing, Jake." She furrowed her brow. She wasn't crazy. "I saw them, I saw you! You looked really hurt."
"I appreciate the concern, really, I do." Jake interrupted. "More than you know," he added softly, his lip quirking into a small lopsided smile. "But I told you last night it was fine. You know how bruises can be."
He was a liar, too, she realized. She had lied to him, and Billy, and now he was lying to her. Is this how he felt when he had caught her lying. He must have noticed her mood swing because he grabbed her hand and pulled it to him.
"Why don't we work on your car today?" He asked, smiling wide at her. "I worked on her a bit without you but it wasn't nearly as fun."
Caroline was reminded of exactly why he had worked on it without her. Because she lied to him. She almost brought up her apparent banning from the garage but decided she didn't want to pick a fight. She found that when she picked fights with Jake she only ended up feeling disappointed in herself, shameful or just sad.
She let him pull her out of bed and the cool morning air caused goosebumps to rise on her skin. She suddenly missed the space heater that was Jacob Black suffocating her. He must have noticed her shiver because he put his hands on her arms and rubbed up and down a couple of times to try to help warm her. She pretends to find his concern in her well being annoying.
Jake went downstairs to start the car while Caroline snuck into Emily and Sam's room to grab the shoes she had abandoned there her first night. She felt as though something was squeezing her heart when she remembered why she was there in the first place. How could she allow herself to forget? To get lost in her selfish feelings about Jake?
Sam and Emily were sleeping still so she went downstairs and wrote them a quick note, telling them where she went.
She heard an engine start outside, but it wasn't the truck.
"Jacob Ephraim Black!" She said sternly as she marched out of the house. "Turn that bike off this instant or so help me!" Caroline stomped over to him and stopped in front of him, one hand on her hip and the other reached out for the keys.
Jake laughed. "Please get on the bike, Care."
"You just fell off!" She stared at him dumbstruck. "You could have been hurt - more hurt than you were!"
Jake tilted his chin and and laid on some of the biggest, and most appealing, puppy dog eyes she ever saw.
"No fucking way, Jake." Her heart rate had sped up when he started the bike's engine and she realized just how scared she was for him.
She held her hand open for the keys and he gave her an are you serious look. Her eyes only narrowed. He sighed and cut the power. "You gonna take away all my driving privileges, or just my bike ones?"
"With that attitude, you're lucky I'm even considering letting you drive the truck," she threatened, but she tossed him the truck keys anyway. It was his car after all.
The drive there was quiet. Caroline sat in the passenger seat and held her hands together tightly until her knuckles turned white. They were nearly to the garage when Jake reached out to grab her hand.
"Are you really mad?" He asked.
Was she? She sighed. "No. I'm just scared, Jake." She let him lace their fingers together. "My emotions are all over the place right now." Caroline rubbed her eyes with her free hand, not wanted to look at him. "I'm just confused. I don't know how to help Emily, I don't know what to do about my father, I don't know what's going on 900 percent of the time," she gestured to their hands, "I don't know what this means. I'm just -" she huffed. "I'm just trying to figure everything out, but none of you are particularly helpful in that regard."
Jake pulled into the parking lot of the garage and Caroline started to pull her hand from his but he tightened his grip slightly. She shut off the car with his left hand and turned to face her fully while pulling her hand into his lap. "Caroline," he started slowly as if he was afraid to say the wrong thing and scare her off. "Are you still coming to the bonfire next Saturday?" She nodded. "After the bonfire I promise to answer any questions you have with complete honesty and transparency. I don't like keeping things from you."
Caroline frowned, trying to keep the hurt out of her voice. "Then why do you?"
He smiled slightly but it didn't quite catch his eyes. "Soon, I promise you there won't be any secrets between us."
Caroline looked up at him, her dark eyes a similar coloration to his. He hadn't really fixed his hair after they had gotten up, although he wore a t-shirt, which was almost an odd sight for her. She was wearing the same outfit she wore two days ago and she probably also looked a mess, but the way Jake looked at her didn't make her feel self-conscious.
"Good," she said finally. "Friends don't keep secrets from each other." Jake beamed at her. She had accepted their friendship for the first time and as she gave his hand a light squeeze she wondered if they were moving towards more than friends, or if she was letting a handful of comforting gestures get to her head. Caroline pulled her hand away and opened the car door. "Now let's fix this puppy up so you don't have any excuse to drive your motorcycle."
That evening, Caroline dropped Jake off at his house and promising that she wouldn't drop his bike keys in the river, no matter how tempted.
"I would consider ending our newfound friendship if you chucked them," Jake warned. He leaned through the driver's side window, his arms resting on the door as he stood outside the car.
Caroline raised an eyebrow in a challenging way. "Oh? Is that how little our friendship means to you?" She smirked when he started to backtrack. "The bike is more important to you then my presence in your life?"
Jake narrowed his eyes at her teasing. "Are you trying to get me to admit just how important you are becoming to me? I didn't peg you as someone who fishes for compliments."
Caroline's heart raced at the implications of what he said. She pulled her expression into one of mock offense, hoping her face hadn't flushed too dark. "I beg your pardon," was the only thing she could bring herself to say.
Jake reached forward slowly and brushed her hair out of her face, letting his fingers drag across her cheek. She looked up at him with wide eyes and found his face was inches from hers. "If getting rid of the bike promises that you'll grace me with your presence even more, then you just say the word and I'll throw the keys in the river."
Caroline could hardly get her brain to decode what he was saying. His dark eyes were half-lidded as they glanced down at her lips before meeting her eyes again, as if to ask permission. His breath was hot against her lips and she couldn't think of anything else as his hand wound into the hair at the back of her neck and guided her towards him. She closed her eyes and his lips just brushed hers when a howl split the air, both of their faces turned on reflex to where it had come from.
Jacob's jaw was clenched and he seemed to growl lowly. "I have to go." He turned back to her and kissed her forehead before turning and running off into the woods, leaving Caroline stunned and alone.
What the fuck just happened? Her mind raced and the fantasy of him pinning her on the hood of the car in his driveway vanished as quickly as it came. Where was he going? And why did he have to go then? She sat stunned in the Black driveway for a couple of minutes, trying to piece together what had happened but coming up empty.
She had heard whispers that Jake's friend group were in a cult, but she had always passed it off as ridiculous rumors. She wasn't sold on it, but she would be lying if she thought he wasn't at least in a gang.
Caroline couldn't find it in herself to be mad as she laid in bed that night. She was confused, and maybe even a little hurt, but the urgency in his voice had her believing he wouldn't have just left for nothing.
For the first time in two nights, Caroline went to sleep completely alone and she found that missed sharing a bed with someone - with him.