Luke checked his phone for approximately the 100th time, realising, again, that there wouldn't be a new text message. His phone was on airplane mode after all.
He twisted and turned his phone in his hands, fiddling with it til it hit the ground with a low thud. It probably landed next to his iPod, which he dropped three hours ago.
Luke let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes. His hands fumbled in thin air now, and his leg bounced up and down. He was a nervous wreck, and he was annoying the shit out of the guy sitting next to him cramped into the tiny airplane seats.
Luke didn't care to much though, because in his opinion he already deserved a medal for not crying because his nerves had left him hours ago. Yes, he did cry yesterday evening after a tiny pointless argument with his mum that usually wouldn't have made him cry. His mum had taken him into her arms and asked him what was wrong, why he was crying, because after all, this upcoming trip was what he'd been dreaming of for years. Luke told her he didn't know what was going on or why he cried, though he did exactly know why.
It was the same reason he had spend so many nights awake in his bed, studying the ceiling. It was the same reason his heart hadn't ever felt settled these past three years. It was the same reason he hadn't been able to sleep in weeks. And it was the same reason he was now nearly bursting with anxiety.
It was this stupid, beautiful idiot who would await him at the other end of this plane flight. It was the boy he had fallen in love with four years ago, the boy he'd been dating for a year before they had to part.
Before they had to part - Luke remembered that day as if it was yesterday. The day he waited for the conversation to go down, about how they would work out a relationship overseas, how they would be able to be with each other, talk, even though a thousand miles and ten time zones were keeping them apart.
But the conversation didn't happen. They parted, in tears and swearing to each other that they would keep in close contact. That, for starters, was true. Luke and Michael both did their very best to keep up with each others lives, they texted and skyped a lot. But the conversations never got too serious.
Luke didn't want to think about everything that would happen once he set foot on the ground again. He was excited, no question. He was so happy to go back to his second home, see Michael's parents and dog again, spend time with Ashton and Calum. But he was fucking terrified of what would happen between him and Michael.
What if Michael thought their parting had been equal to a break-up? What if they both had changed too much? Back then they were 16, going on seventeen, now they were 19, Michael going on twenty. Would they be strangers? Did they change so much that the chemistry between them was gone? What if Michael was dating someone new? And even if he didn't.. would Luke want to continue this equally beautiful and painful relationship between them?
Luke swore under his breath and jammed his headphones into the small TV that was installed into his frontman's seat. Music turned up on full volume to drown the world out, he thought to himself.
And for a small amount of time it worked. Until the seatbelt sign flashed, indicating that they were about to land. And Luke felt like the end of the world was about to break lose.
He felt his throat tighten as soon as he left the long gateway that connected the plane to the gate. Everything was just like how he remembered it to be, and yet it felt strange to be back after imagining it for so many nights. His pace slowed as he drank in the same pictures on the wall, the smell and even the old green-brownish carpet that covered the Airport in Omaha, just like he had done it four years ago.
His eyes glided down the corridor and his heart, which was beating in his throat, missed a beat. There he was, all tall and punk-ish, with his bleach blonde mess of hair, but less lanky and skinny, and with a faint layer of dark stubble around his chin. He clearly hadn't seen Luke yet, giving him time to catch his breath, before he started towards him. He saw Michaels dad standing a few feet behind Michael and felt a flash of joy going through him upon seeing him again.
Luke didn't realise he had started running until Michael looked up and he suddenly found it hard not to trip over his own feet. A huge smile spread across Michaels face. It lit up his whole features and he started stumbling towards Luke too. They both extended their arms and after what felt like eternity to Luke, they met in a bone crushing hug.
Luke never thought hugs could carry such strong emotions. But this hug was different. They were both desperately holding onto each other. It was like a promise to never let the other one go, never be apart for so long again. Then, Luke breathed in Michaels scent and that was definitely too much for him. He didn't even feel any shame as he let the tears fall from his eyes onto Michaels flannel, while Michael was rocking him from side to side, whispering "I've missed you so much" again and again, like a broken record. Luke thought the could physically feel a missing piece of his heart clicking back into place again. He felt whole, here, with the person he cared about most in the world.
They finally let go of each other after a fair amount of time, Luke drying off his tears while he greeted Michaels dad. Michael asked Luke about his flight and Luke reassured him that it was good and comfortable and that he'd slept most of the time. Which was, of course, a lie. They continued to make small talk, at some point Luke stated that he was hungry so they stopped by at Taco Bell to get some Tacos.
The moment they arrived at Michaels house, Luke was pulled into a big hug by Michaels mum and greeted by Michaels excited dog. Luke walked through the front door and took a moment to just stand there and take it all in. He would need to treasure this moment forever, he thought.
Nothing had changed. The house still smelled the same, the same pictures of Michaels childhood were put up on the walls, now joined by a picture of Michaels graduation. Time had left it's marks on the wooden floor, though Luke suspected it was not just time but mainly Michaels dog.
It was only an hour later when Luke found himself laying awake in Michaels dimly lit room. Just like last time he and Michael shared a room. Luke was laying on his bed, his eyes staring at the empty bed a few feet away from his own. Michael was downstairs watching TV - it was only 6pm but Luke was exhausted and jetlagged. At least until five minutes ago. Now his mind kept wandering to the boy downstairs and his heart contracted. He wanted to talk to Michael so badly, but things had been so hectic and Luke so exhausted and on the edge.
'First thing in the morning', he told himself. He was gonna talk to Michael first thing in the morning.
'In the morning' became 'in the afternoon', when Luke finally awoke from his comatous sleep to Michael announcing that Luke had to get dressed to go over to Ashton's house for the 4th of July party today.
"Yeah, yeah, I'll be down in 5 minutes..," Luke had grumbled out and dragged himself to the bathroom after another five minutes of power napping.
Honestly, Luke didn't remember much after that. He was kind of half- sleepwalking into the shower, then into the car and over to Ashton's house, and now he was sitting a little distance away from the guests at Ashton's parents 4th of July party on an old rusty garden bench together with Calum, Ashton and Michael.
Dusk had broken about an hour ago but the world was lit by exploding fireworks and bonfires.
"Guys I'mma get us a beer," Ashton smiled at Michael, "Calum, help me carry."
"Noooo! I don't wanna get uppp," Calum whined only to have Ashton squeeze his shoulder. "You. Are coming. With. ME," he said and held out a hand to help Calum up. Calum looked confused but got up anyways, probably knowing better than to argue with Ashton.
"Thanks, mate," Michael whispered as Ashton passed him.
Luke and Michael sat in silence for a while, only watching the colorful explosions light up the night.
"So..," Luke said nervously and wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans, "uh, why aren't you celebrating independence day with, uh, your partner? I mean, uh, if you have one.."
Michael tensed all over and where Luke's and Michael's arms were touching, Luke could feel Michaels muscles going rigid.
Michael was silent for a few moments until he spoke, his voice hard as steel and his eyes focused on a point in front of him.
"So.. this is how you're feeling? I am sorry Luke, I didn't realize.. I thought, since we never really broke up.. but okay, having it said aloud it probably sounds stupid anyways. You're a hot guy and probably have all the boys in the world at your feet," Michael trailed off.
"No," Luke breathed. Michaels hands were gripping the edges of the bench tightly, his knuckles were turning white. "No..," Luke whispered again and touched Michaels left hand.
Michael turned his face towards their hands and Luke could see that something behind his eyes had shattered. A world where he and Luke would be happy together, grow old together.
"Mikey," Luke whispered. Michael smiled sad. "You haven't called me that in a long time," he said, his voice stained.
"Mikey, this is what I wanted. To hear you say that you still want to be with me, after all these years we spend apart. This is what I've been dreaming of for nights and nights and days."
Michael looked up at Luke. For a while he just stared into the eyes of the tall, blonde boy - excuse me- man. Then a small smile spread across his face.
"I got somethin' for you," he said, his voice very quiet, "a birthday gift. For all the missed birthdays.." Luke's eyes widened.
"Mikey! You didn't have to do this, oh my god, I don't have anything for you, I-"
"It's okay, Luke. I don't care about material stuff, you being here with me is the best present in the world." Luke smiled shyly and took the small, poorly wrapped package out of Michaels trembling palm.
He carefully opened it and a beautiful braided bracelet fell into his hands. It was thin and fragile, but the most beautiful bracelet he'd ever seen. It was made of black, beige and emerald strings, all the colors Michael represented. And when Luke turned it over, he saw a small wooden pendant dangling from it. Words were etched into it.
One day, One way.
Luke's heart skipped a beat. He glanced up at Michael who was watching him anxiously.
"I thought.. you know it was very pretty I. And the pendant.. it's a promise and something to look forward to and to keep you happy when you're sad. 'Cause you know, one day, you will book a one way ticket to me, or I will book one to you, or we will book one to wherever, and we will be together, without having to leave each oth -," Michael was cut off by Luke grabbing his face and kissing him, softly, tenderly, with all the emotions of the unspoken "I have missed you so much, I have missed this so much, I have missed us so much".
Michael broke the kiss, his lips hovering a few inches from Lukes.
"I have something else..," he smiled, "I didn't want to show it you before I see how you reacted to the bracelet."
Luke looked at him questioning. Michael drew a sheet of paper out of his pocket and handed it over to Luke. And Luke instantly knew what it was, because he himself had printed one out that had looked very similar to this one only two days ago at home. While reading over the paper, first tears started pooling in his eyes.
Michael, who was fiddling with his hands, mistook Luke's silence as confusion.
"It's a plane ticket from Omaha to Germany.. for next July. After all the missed birthdays of yours, I wanted to be there for your 20th.. if you want me to be there, of course. Also, I was kinda curious to see how you live and to meet your parents and siblings... Only if you want that, of course!"
Luke looked up, tears rolling down his cheeks. He could only do so much as nod his head yes and fall into Michaels arms.
"I'd love that, Michael," he whispered out shakily.
Michael relaxed and wrapped his arms tighter around Luke. And in that moment, Luke knew it. He finally could grasp the thought that was ghosting around his head for years, kept him up at night, but was always pushed back by doubt.
He loved Michael. And love knows no limits. No gender. No age. And especially no distance. Love doesn't ask, it just comes to those who let it in. And in his case, it came to him and this beautiful american boy. And one day, he would be able to live his love with no limits. One day, there wouldn't be distance separating their bodies. One day, he would be able to spend the rest of his life together with his boy.
One day, one way.
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Only Love,
Marie💋