Levi’s First Taste of Freedom
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Flip. Levi had been tossing and turning all night, he hardly got any sleep. It wasn’t the bed’s fault. It really was comfortable but for whatever stupid reason he couldn’t stay asleep. It was probably because his mind was a storm of raging thoughts slamming in his head with ferocious fury. What if he is just tricking me? Luring me into a trap. Is he trying to befriend me? What does he want from me because I have nothing to give. Thoughts like those overwhelmed him like a sickness spreading through his body, plaguing him.
Finally the morning came, Levi got up and out of bed. Eren’s pajamas sagged slightly which irritated Levi. No wondering I couldn’t sleep, I was wearing this all night. Although he knew he was just making up an excuse, trying to fool himself. Was it wrong to want everything to be okay? To work out? Was this normal? “Tch.” Levi went over to his dresser and opened the bottom drawer slowly. So it really wasn’t a dream? That brat actually did buy me clothes. Part of Levi was thankful, it was nice getting something decent to wear, but the other part of Levi was dreading this. Does he think clothes will make me trust him?
Levi started picking out something to wear. In the end he slipped on clean boxers, socks, a black graphic tee, and some skinny jeans. He liked the way everything fit. Nothing was too tight or too loose, just right. He didn’t feel exposed, just comfortable. When he was done, he walked into the bathroom. He could hear echoes of steps going down the hall. Eren was up too it seemed. He checked himself out in the mirror, seeing how exactly everything fit around him. Levi then brushed his hair, making sure his hair was parted perfectly, aligned and straight.
His feet fluttered down the steps, he could already smell something being cooked. He made his way to the kitchen where the smell was coming from. He saw Eren hovered over near the stove. “What are you making?” By now Levi was next to him, curiosity brought him there. Eren made a little yelping sound which shocked Levi. How could this brat be startled of him? Levi was the one who was a nervous ball of wreckage, though you could never tell, his face remained emotionless as always.
“L-Levi?” Eren turned to look at Levi, his face turned into relief, “Holy crap, you scared me. I didn’t even hear you come in.” He opened a cabinet looking for plates.
Meanwhile Levi looked down into the pan, “…So what did you make?” He had no idea what he was looking at. “I have never had this before.”
Eren looked like he almost dropped his plates, “Wait, so you’re saying that you’ve never had pancakes before?” His mouth was open. Was it something I said? These are pancakes? What. The. Actual. Fuck. Levi thought to himself.
Levi frowned, “Um… no? Should I have pancakes?” He asked awkwardly.
Eren looked like he was going to burst as he set the plates down, “Yes, I didn’t make them just for myself and I don’t know if you’d be offended if I made you eggs…”
“Eren, I’m not a bird. I won’t be offended, trust me, Hanji tried.” Levi picked up one of the plates and got himself pancakes. Levi received a scowl from Eren as he looked at his plate, “What? I’m starving and I didn’t get to eat yesterday.”
“You didn’t eat? Why didn’t you tell me? I could have brought something home.” Then he muttered, “No wondering you’re so thin.”
“Not necessary.” Levi waved Eren away with his hand, “I had a cup of tea and that was good enough for me.”
“But-“
Levi stopped and then his eyes shot up to Eren meeting his. “Look… I don’t want you buying me things…” Stop being so fucking nice. “I have nothing to give back in return.” Which brought up another thing on Levi’s mind, “Besides, where the hell do you even get your shitty money from anyway?”
Eren had went quiet for a moment and Levi was beginning to think that he struck a nerve when Eren said, “I inherited it… From my father and mother… My father died two years ago and my mother died when I was ten…” He grabbed his plate and piled several pancakes on it, “My father was a scientist and he owned his own company… Since I was too young to take over the company it was passed to someone else. Since the company is still in my father’s name, I still get some of the profit. But that doesn’t matter. My passion right now is photography.” He smiled lightly, though Levi could tell that Eren was bothered by the fact that his parents were dead, “I work with a modeling company called the Scouting Magazine. So that’s why I have cameras with me all the time. I even have a studio in the basement where I bring my clients and we do a photo shoot, I can show you if you want.”
Levi shrugged as he led the way out to the dining room, “No… I already seen it.”
“You did?” Eren sounded surprised, “When?”
Hesitating, Levi sat down and answered Eren’s question simply, “Yesterday when I was cleaning. I didn’t touch anything -well except for some of the costumes- but I didn’t know if I was allowed to touch anything. So I didn’t clean anything.”
Eren nodded, “Okay that’s fine. Those cameras down there have to be clean in a special way anyway.” Levi cut a piece off of the pancakes. He looked at it suspiciously, saw Eren already eating, and then took a bite. What’s this? It’s… Sweet? Levi had very few sweet things in his life, most were things Hanji snuck into the cage. In all honesty loved sweets. Maybe it was because he never got it often. Maybe it was the way the sweetness was awaking his taste buds this early in the morning. Goodbye crap that the scientists called food, hello actual food. Levi ended up finishing his pancakes before Eren did. It was good, he couldn’t help it.
“Holy… Looks like someone like someone likes pancakes.” Eren smiled and leaned on one arm, his head resting on his palm.
Levi looked up bashfully from his plate. “Yeah…”
He watched Eren who also was watching him, “I could show you how to make them if you want.”
Cooking? That would be a good idea. Cooking would be worth it. I could learn how to do it and then I wouldn’t have to rely on anyone to make me food. Levi was interested to learn how to cook in general, “Just pancakes or will you teach me other things to cook as well?”
“Of course Levi, I’ll teach you how to cook.” Eren said simply. But was it really that simple? Why was it? Why was he agreeing so easily? This irritated Levi. He knew that people didn’t just do things ‘out of the kindness of your heart’ because that’s just bullshit.
“Eren. Why?”
Levi watched Eren’s expression change, “What do you mean? Why, what?”
“Why are you… nice?”
“Nice?” Eren paused, “Am I not supposed to?”
Levi only shrugged, observing Eren carefully, “Maybe.”
Eren frowned, adjusting in his chair, “Now why would you say that?”
Levi suddenly felt very uncomfortable. He felt Eren’s eyes on him. Levi didn’t like that. Stop staring. He turned his head thinking that maybe if he turned his head the feeling would go away. He was wrong, it only made the feeling worse, the feeling intensified. Levi could feel his skin crawl causing goose bumps.
“Why don’t I ask you why you act that way. Why do you look away? Do you not like me or something?” Levi heard Eren’s chair scrape against the ground. It was unnerving. “See, like you are now. Look at me when I’m talking to you, would you?” Eren was starting to sound upset. Levi unexpectedly felt hands on his shoulders. His breath hitched and he closed his eyes, expecting the worse. Levi was waiting. Waiting for something. To be hit. Pushed around a bit. Yelled at. Something. Anything. But it didn’t come.
“Open your eyes.” Levi sat still for a long time, then slowly his eyes fluttered open. He saw Eren’s face, mere inches from his. It was uncomfortable. “Tell me Levi… Why are you shaking?” Then Levi could see it, in Eren’s eyes, the worry. He is actually worried? Levi inhaled a slow breath. I was… shaking? But I didn’t notice.
Levi suddenly felt heat around him. He had been too shocked to realize that Eren had embraced him. Too shocked to realize that he had in fact been shaking. Too shocked to realize that tears had found their way down his cheeks. Levi didn’t understand what was happening. Why was he breaking down? Now? Of all of the times? Why can’t you leave me alone?
“Because you’ve been alone your whole life. It’s time for you to be free.” Eren said into his ear. It took Levi a moment to realize that he had asked that question out loud. How does this brat know what shit I’ve been through? That’s just it, he doesn’t know shit. But why? Levi felt like this meant something more. But what?
While Levi had been lost in his thoughts, Eren started to pull away. Levi felt a rush of cold hit him. No. Instinctually, Levi grabbed onto Eren with a grip that he hadn’t used in a long time. He wasn’t ready yet… to let go.
Then Eren muffled into his ear, “Don’t worry Levi, I won’t treat you like those animals treated you.” Levi found that he had stopped crying by now and his shaking had stopped as well. He didn’t feel stressed anymore. It was weird because he felt relaxed? How could that be? And then he felt it. Eren’s hand sliding up his back and down again, gently brushing against his scars. How did he know? How did he know that it calmed him? Was it Hanji who told him? All that he knew now was that he didn’t want it to stop.
What sounded like a small whimper escaped Levi’s lips, “B-but they’re not animals… I am the animal. The beast they put in a cage-“
“Levi stop it.” Eren said sternly, cutting Levi off, “I don’t want to hear any of that crap from you.”
“But, I’m not human.”
Eren stayed quiet for a moment before he spoke, “No, Levi you’re human.”
“Eren, I have fucking wings that sprawl out of my back. You can’t-”
“Stop arguing with me.” Eren interrupted Levi again, “You won’t win this Levi.” He pulled away slightly and Levi could see Eren’s eyes once more, “Listen Levi and listen well.” Levi frowned but nodded slightly and Eren continued. “You are human. You are just like anyone else. Yeah, you have wings, but don’t look down on them. They are beautiful and they make you unique. Different… Special. Your wings are a part of you, so just except that. You can’t please everyone…” Levi was shocked by all of the things Eren was saying. No one ever had told him these things, not even Hanji. Eren wasn’t done, “If you weren’t human, you wouldn’t have emotions. You have emotions and if that makes you a monster then everyone is guilty including me.”
Levi’s voice was caught in his throat. He found that he had to open and close his mouth a couple times before he could actually find his voice, “Alright,” Levi was giving in but he didn’t really feel like he believed it all the way.
It seemed that Eren could tell Levi didn’t agree, “Fine, if you’re going to be that way… Then I’ll just find ways to make you remember. Even if that means I have to tell you every day. I’ll keep reminding you until you believe it.” Levi looked into Eren’s eyes which were staring straight back into his eyes. Diverting his gaze, Levi couldn’t handle being stared at for much longer so he hid in the nearest place, he nuzzled into Eren’s neck. Now Eren couldn’t look into his soul. He hid his face while pressing his body into Eren’s. He already felt warm, his cheeks especially were bothering him but just this once, he’d swallow his pride and allow someone to be this close to him- unguarded. He could feel Eren’s arms, tighter now, around him. It was nice. Nice. And then he could feel it again, Eren’s hand brushing against his back around his tender spot where his scars were, very softly.
“A little higher.”
Eren stopped, “Higher?” and then he seemed to understand. He giggled softly, “Alright, here?” He asked ask his hand went up about two inches.
“Nnnh… y-yes.” Levi breathed in slowly and then bit his lip.
Levi felt Eren press a little harder. He didn’t mind not one bit. He felt like he was falling apart, melting into his chair. “Do you really like it when I do that?”
“Yes.”
Eren smiled- or at least that’s what Levi sensed, “Good, I’ll do it more often then.”