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If you find yourself in a dark room,
Walls around you are red
And blood seeps from everywhere,
Do not be afraid.
You are inside my heart.
Chapter Four: Desire’s Consequence
It all started with a bottle of whiskey.
“Pass me the Jack Daniels, will you, _____?” Henry had asked you as he set up the Internet connection.
You were at the kitchen table eating breakfast as he hooked up wires and plugs to a nearby outlet. The bottle of whiskey was at the table’s edge, away from his grip.
Frankly, you didn’t want to give it to him. Didn’t he see what kind of shit it got him into? The gambling, the stealing, the loss of his own house? Alcohol consumption was only one of his problems, but it was one that he could at least try to quit. It was the morning; did he really need it right now? No.
“____? Did you hear me?” He was still busy with the Wi-Fi box.
“…No,” You grumbled, staring into your cereal bowl.
He turned, eyebrows furrowed with irritation. Ignoring your smart-ass response, he walked around the table to retrieve the bottle himself. Once he took a long swig, he turned to glare at you: “I’m getting sick and tired of your attitude, _____.” He warned.
You kept your head down, busying yourself with spoonfuls of cereal. Ignore him, you thought. Your mind wandered over to who was in the closest room instead.
Henry slammed his bottle down, “These past few months, you’ve been acting like a spoiled little brat, you know that don’t you? And I’m not going to tolerate this behavior anymore, ____.” He spat, words like acid.
Your hand clenched around the spoon. These past few months, you were being horrible? Didn’t he have any idea what he had done to you or said to you ‘these past few months’? He was the one who deserved to be reprimanded—same with Lauren. They were beginning to feel like parental failures; not that you knew what it was like to have great parents. Either way, how could he say your attitude was unacceptable?
You stood, teeth clenched. “Me? Aren’t you the one who lost your job, our house, and all our money?” Your voice rose, furious. “Don’t you see that you’re an alcoholic with loads of debt and responsibility and all you do is blame others?!”
Within an instant, you remembered back to the last time you said something similar—and what Henry almost did in response to your disrespect.
This time was no different. His face turned red with fury, and after a few seconds of tense silence, he slowly walked up to you and raised his hand.
It looked the same as the last time it happened. But, that time, he stopped himself—would he stop himself again? Or was he really going to hit you…?
You didn’t have the time to think. Your eyes squeezed shut, hands curled into fists at your side. Your heart was pounding, legs nearly shaking with both resentment and fear.
A few seconds passed. You caught the sound of footsteps—but they weren’t Henry’s. You could tell that they weren’t Lauren’s or Peter’s, either.
A bitter slapping sound echoed across the kitchen.
…But it didn’t come from his hand on you.
You fluttered your eyelids open. Upon witnessing the scene, you felt your heart soar. Allen always said he’d protect you.
He stood in front of you; no one was there except for Henry just a few moments ago. His tanned palm was wrapped around Henry’s pale wrist. So that was the sound—it was the impact of Allen grabbing ahold of Henry before he could hit me, you realized.
“Whoa there, Henry. I know you’ve been under a lot of stress lately, but you don’t want to be abusing your daughter.” No disrespect was in his voice. He sounded as if he was simply informing a buddy of something he shouldn’t do.
That seemed to do the trick. Henry calmed down, not at all angry with Allen for stopping him. He sighed, avoiding eye contact from both you and Allen. Without another word, he tossed the bottle of Jack into the kitchen sink. He then proceeded to leave the room.
Once he was gone, you looked up at the brunette in front of you. “Allen, I…”
He smirked. Red eyes glowing with affection, he quickly stepped forward and nearly slammed you into his chest. “A-Allen!” Your face burned. He laughed and tightly wrapped his arms around your waist in a bone-crushing hug.
“_____, _____... you’re so cute….” He was squeezing you so tight that you could barely breathe. “That was so cute, you’re so cute. You needed my help and I saved you. Wow, that’s so weird! I never got this feeling before-!” You coughed a bit. By now, he was going to cut off your intake of oxygen. “You looked so adorable and helpless… Until you saw me…” He nuzzled his face into your hair.
Can’t… breathe… you thought pitifully. You were in the arms of your boyfriend and yet, all you could think about was how constricting his hug was. He’s like an anaconda… H-He suffocates his prey… you thought in the back of your mind.
“I got to save you from that prick, which was awesome, ‘cause you’re my woman and all, but I never knew what it was like to save someone.” He sounded like he was still grinning.
“A-Allen… l-let go…”
He finally came to his senses. “Oh, right,” He loosened his grip, and looked directly at you. “…I’m glad you were the first person I got to save.” His genuine smile was heartwarming.
As much as you wanted to enjoy the moment, you couldn’t help but be reminded of someone else.
…I’m your hero, he said.
I’ll save you, he said.
I’ll take care of you, he said.
How many times was Allen going to make you think of Alfred?
“But you know…” Allen was no longer joyous. Within a few seconds he’d gone from happy to furious. Brown hair shading his eyes and voice in a stone-cold monotone, he stated, “I’m gonna kick Henry’s ass someday.”
You tried to smile, “Maybe. But… thanks for that, Allen.” You were still thinking of how he kept Henry from laying a hand on you.
Before he could respond, the front door slammed open. “Who’s here…?” You wondered briefly.
The sound of Lauren’s triumphant laughter immediately caught your ears. “I’ve got it~!” She sang.
Hearing her oddly cheerful voice, you exchanged a look with Allen. He seemed just as confused. You both exited the kitchen and stepped into the living room. “Um, Lauren…?” As you entered, you almost felt a bit cautious—Lauren, happy? What could it be?
Allen eyed her carefully. “…What’s up?” He asked her. Even he knew her behavior was a tad strange.
Peter instantly appeared from behind her, “She bought a phone! Oh, but she said it’s only for emergencies. And guess what?” He pouted, “It’s like, not even an iPhone!” Being a child from this generation, he was used to smartphones and touch screens.
She looked straight at you, all-business. “It’s only for calling. No texting, Internet-using, or app-playing.”
Allen thumb-pointed towards the kitchen, “Er, I think Henry just installed the Wi-Fi…”
She shook her head, “It’ll still cost money for this old phone.”
“So, basically only you can use it?” You blurted without thinking.
She wasn’t fazed. She’d probably already decided that this phone was hers. After all, she was addicted to her smartphone before she had to sell it and even now when this one was supposed to be for everyone, she couldn’t handle letting someone else hold it. “Yes. But, _____...” She didn’t seem happy to inform you, “I’ll allow you one phone call. One. And that’ll be it for today. Afterwards, this phone is getting put away.” She left it on the coffee table and turned to Peter, “…Come on. We still have more errands to run.”
The time it took them to leave again felt like a blur. Was Lauren being… nice? Or was she being rude? The strange thing was, you couldn’t exactly tell. Did it really pain her to do something remotely thoughtful?
Once the front door closed, you snapped out of your daze and lunged for the phone. After all, there was a working phone in your house! Excited, you snatched it up. “Damn, this thing’s ancient. A year 2000 Nokia! But oh well, I absolutely need to call—” You paused, fingers still hovering over the dial buttons.
“-You need to call who so badly?” Allen was standing a few feet away, arms crossed.
You turned. “…My friends. Who else?”
He smirked, “Yeah… of course. I’ll uh, give you some privacy.” He started for the backdoor, only to pause in the doorframe. “But it’s… not a guy, is it , _____....?” You couldn’t see his face. From his voice, he didn’t sound too happy.
You’d already hit ‘call’. The person on the other line answered, “You’re speakin’ with the hero, may I ask who’s callin’~?”
Your voice rose. “UH, HEY…”
Somehow knowing Allen would drop the question once you began speaking on the phone, you sat down on the couch. The backdoor closed shortly afterwards. Yup, you called it. You knew he was trying to make you feel comfortable, like the time he lent you his laptop so you could catch up with friends, but that he also wasn’t fond of you speaking to other boys.
Too bad your only friend was a boy. And that it was none other than someone who looked just like him.
“Heyyy~. So who’s this? You’re soundin’ a little hollow there, my friend.” Alfred’s carefree voice sounded hollow as well—being on the line with a Nokia, of course.
“Oh, yeah I know. It’s me, _____.”
A pause.
…And then another one. Did he not hear you correctly? Was the phone connection already breaking up or—
“…O-M-G DUDE! I MISS YOU SO SO SO SO SO MUCH-!”
You actually had to move the phone about two feet away from your ear to keep from damaging your sense of hearing. “Oh, yeah… me too!”
You could detect a grin through his voice. “So what happened?! Is this your new number? I didn’t know you’d be getting a new phone, but sweet! How’s everything going? Are Henry and Lauren still bein’ asswipes? Oh, and Peter! How’s my little man?! _____, you needa tell me everything~!”
You couldn’t help but smile. He was so kind as always. “No, this phone is only for emergencies. And yeah… they’re still being asswipes. Peter’s doing fine, he really likes Alle—” You paused. Your last conversation with Alfred went a little sour after you brought up Allen, and you weren’t in the mood for any type of disagreement at the moment. You wanted your first phone call with Alfred since your move to be normal and fun, just like your prior relationship with him always was.
“That’s cool, that’s cool~. But awwh, I was hoping you’d get a phone. Urgh, anyway. Tell Henry and Lauren that I told them to quit being asswipes.” He joked.
…He didn’t even notice when I almost said ‘Allen’, you realized. Good thing your best friend wasn’t good at catching on to subtle things. “Heh, I will.” You giggled at the thought.
A creaking sound was heard, which must have been Alfred plopping down onto a couch or bed. “Man, summer’s been so boring without you. My bro Mattie’s supposed to come visit me sometime though, so that’s good I guess. How about you? Finished unpacking? Oh, and have you talked to Zao?”
He always asked way too many questions at the same time. “Wait… who?”
“My friend Zao. You said he helped you unpack? I called him up before you moved; he said he’d bring some buddies—”
You waved your hand, even though you knew he couldn’t see. “-Yeah yeah, I know him. But who was that other guy you were talking about…?”
A short pause. Then followed, “…Mattie?”
“Yeah,”
“Oh. My brother, Matthew…”
“Who?”
A sigh. “My BROTHER, you’ve met him a few times…”
You didn’t recall. “Oh. Anyway, how was the last day of school?”
He didn’t skip a beat. “BORING! How come everyone at that private school calls me ‘obnoxious’? All I did was jump up on the desks a few times, ‘cause like dude, it’s the last day of school, and when I tried to start a party, no one joined me, and they all said to get off their desks and turn the lights back on, and it was so lame, and like I know you totally would’ve joined me right? And we would’ve danced our asses off, and no one could’ve stopped us, and the last day would’ve completely ROCKED yo, and I finally could’ve given that Russian dude an ass-kicking, and shook a can of Coke-a-Cola and given it to Artie-brows, and throw confetti everywhere, and run down the halls with my American flag, and…”
The more you listened, the more you could’ve imagined the last day of school if you were there with Alfred.
But, you weren’t there; instead you were cleaning up a messy lawn with Allen. Was that so glamorous? Of course not, but Allen…
“Oh, dude. Remember last year? We almost got in sO MUCH TROUBLE! But it was all worth it, yeah? Th-Those pranks, man!” He instantly fell into a fit of hysteria. But he didn’t laugh harder at the memories than you did.
“Y-Yeah, I remember…” You managed to say through giggles.
“Heh heh… good times, _____. Hey, I-…I’m…” He paused, voice lowering. “…I’m really gonna miss you here, dude…”
You sighed, finally getting off the laughing high. “Oh… yeah. Me too.” You hoped he would make new friends in the next school year, but somehow… at the same time you didn’t want him to. You knew it was selfish, but you wanted to stay his best friend. His one and only best friend.
“Hey… when you start school, can you not uh, you know…-” He paused again, suddenly shy. You could almost hear his blush through the phone. “…D-Don’t make a new best friend, you got that? Y-You have the hero, and you don’t need anyone else, y- ya hear me?!”
A smile crept across your face. It was nice to know you guys thought exactly the same way. “Yeah, okay.”
You heard a triumphant-sounding sigh through the line. “Good. ‘C-Cause, I’m the only one for you. We were always like a package deal, you know…? It’d feel weird if there was someone else out there who cared about you more than me. Hey, NO ONE cares about you more than me! And you’re still the Wonder Woman to my Superman, right~?”
He sounded shaky, a bit nervous, but still him nonetheless. The last comment happened to trigger a certain flashback that brought small tears to the corners of your eyes. But we’ll get into that later. “Right… of course.” You shifted a bit on the couch, uncomfortable. At the time, you didn’t notice Allen peek in from the window at you.
“Awesome, I knew you’d say that. Hey… have you heard of the ‘Red String of Fate’? It’s this thing Zao told me about when he was high off opium, but it sounded really interesting, and it totally reminded me of you and—”
Your eyes widened. You nearly dropped the phone when you heard ‘Red String of Fate’. Back when you were learning about East Asian culture in World History, you found out about the Red String, which was basically equivalent to a soul mate among the West. Didn’t Alfred understand that? And he’d just said—
“-I think we’re connected, dude! Is that so weird to say? I mean come on, I don’t know if we’ve really got invisible red strings tied to each others’ pinkies that can ‘withstand’ everything, but that seems to describe us, don’tcha think?”
…If you guys lived in China instead of America, that probably would’ve been like saying he loved you. But, this was Alfred—he probably didn’t get half of what he was saying. You hoped. Of course, you didn’t want to believe that he actually did get it, for fear of realizing what could have been…
“I dunno, just a thought. Ever since you moved, I’ve really been thinking about you a lot, ____...” He sighed again, and you heard a muffling sound. He was probably hugging a pillow. “A. Lot. Why do you have to be so cool and amazing? It’s not fair.”
Your hand shook around the phone. For how much longer would he keep going?
“_____... look, you mean the world to me. I just wanted you to know that. I’m not trying to go all creeper on you or whatevs, but yeah. You’re not even worth being my sidekick—you deserve to be a heroine. I just, I really like…-”
Your breath hitched.
“—that. I really, REALLY like that! Yeah, you’re a heroine and I’m the hero! We sound so freakin’ awesome together! OH, dude, that reminds me. Didya hear about the new Super Smash Bros? It’s coming out really soon! And, and, THERE’S GONNA BE A NEW PRINCESS FOR MARIO! When I get that game, I’ll bring it to your house, and I can be Mario and you can be that kickass new princess Rosalina. Well, unless you wanted to be Peach, but still. Whaddaya say?!”
You let out the breath. That was a close call. You could’ve sworn he was about to say he liked… well, you, but that would only be wishful thinking. Right…? Although you had to admit, he never told you such things before. Sure, he said he missed you, but not like that… “Sounds fun.” You knew you liked him before, but that was just a harmless crush. Your feelings kept trying to say, Maybe he really was about to say he liked you… After all, you might never know… “I’d want you to come over sometime.”
You happened to glance out the window. You almost thought you saw the shadow of Allen duck down. What the…? “For sure. Definitely someday this summer. And I can see Zao too; I miss that weirdo!”
Thinking about Zao reminded you of Allen again. What would he do if he found out you harbored some small, simple feelings for your male best friend? “By the way… I was wondering, how do you know Zao?”
Some more time passed. You chatted with Alfred about many different things, including how he knew that creepy Chinese guy, along with several other topics such as video games, TV shows, comic books, new movies, and more things that kept your relationship with Alfred as friendly as ever.
Before you knew it, a whole two hours had passed.
You wouldn’t have known it was that much later if Lauren hadn’t walked inside, arms full of grocery bags, Peter in tow. “_____? You’re still on the phone?! Get off that shit already—we’ve been working all day and you’ve just been lounging!”
She also told you to go help Allen clean up the yard some more. Peter offered to come along, but Lauren said he had to go with Henry to enroll in his new elementary school. “Alright, I need to hang up now…”
“Oh, okay…”
“I miss you, Alfred.” You just had to tell him one last time.
“I miss you too.”
Somehow, he sounded a little… sad. That wasn’t like him. “You’ll always be my best friend.”
“…I know.”
But… why did he still sound sad?
-D-E-A-D-L-Y-A-T-T-R-A-C-T-I-O-N-
After Lauren made you and Allen clean up the backyard a bit more (this time you had to remove all the dump-able stuff, like the ancient kiddy pools and half-destroyed furniture), it was time for your break again. It had already been several hours since you got off the phone with Alfred.
“Hey, looks like the yard’s coming together.” Allen mused as you both stepped back inside.
You took another glance around, “Yeah. It doesn’t look like it belongs on the show Hoarders anymore.”
At the moment, Lauren was in the front yard, going through the several jewelry boxes she’d found in an old chest. She was looking for anything valuable to sell for money. Peter was with her; he called their exploration a ‘treasure hunt’ and was looking for ‘goods for the citizens of Sealand’. Henry was in his room, using the new Internet connection and a borrowed laptop to search for jobs.
Allen plopped down on the couch. “Hey… how did Henry lose his job again?”
You sat down next to him and sighed, “He stole money from customers in his corporate job, used it for gambling, they found out, and he got fired.”
Allen stared at you for a few seconds. “…You know he’s not going to be able to find a new job, right? I’m surprised he’s not in jail.”
You nodded, “Yeah. I think Lauren should look for work, not him.”
He leaned back, propping his feet onto the coffee table. “True,” He crossed his arms and laid his head on a pillow, relaxing. After all, he had been the one to lift most of the heavy furniture into his truck to drive to the dumping grounds.
“So, what about your dad? Does he work?” You actually knew next to nothing about Allen’s family.
He avoided your gaze, “No. But my mom does; she runs a coffee shop in New York.”
Interested, you leaned close to him. “Really? Why don’t you live with her?” You guessed that he must have at some point, because he had a hint of a New York accent.
He continued to avoid eye contact, “I used to. We lived in New York City till a few months ago. I uh, got in some trouble over there, a bit of jail time. No big deal, really. The court just freaked out for no reason. It was just so…” You noticed his teeth clenched, red eyes hardened with rage, “It was so fucking stupid.” He let out a breath to calm himself.
“But…” You faced him, couldn’t keep your eyes off him, “Why did you get in trouble?”
He glanced at you, clearly still exasperated. “Does it matter? It’s not like I’m the same person. And it wasn’t even a big deal to begin with.”
A bit of hurt crossed your eyes when you realized he wouldn’t tell you. “Oh…”
He looked away again. “So my mom shipped me off to live with my dad. You know he’s a drug addict, right? He never gives a shit about me—that one day when you came over was rare, because he hardly ever comes home. And when he does, it’s to get more drugs. That asshole never listens to me.” His eyebrows were furrowed, hands clenched into fists; he was trying to hide them through his crossed arms.
“Do you miss your mom?”
He scoffed, “Miss her? She’s probably glad I’m gone. She rid herself of me and that’s all she cares about.”
You didn’t know what to say. This whole time, when he said he knew how you felt about your parents, you weren’t sure just how much. But now that you understood his situation, you could verify that he really did know the feeling and then some. Abandonment. His parents were worse than your foster ones; his parents were almost as bad as your real ones.
The poor boy. You felt horrible for him. You knew he had issues, but this was much worse than you’d expected.
The two of you were a perfect match. Both neglected by your guardians. “Allen…” You spoke his name softly. After a few seconds, he looked up; you saw his eyes for the first time since he began to tell you his past. “I’ll never abandon you.” As you spoke, you didn’t let your eyes leave his crimson ones. You really wanted to let him know just how much you cared for him.
Slowly, a small smile took over his face. Noticing how close together you two were, the smile turned into a smirk, and he leaned in—thus closing the gap between your lips and his.
His closed mouth was warm and tender against your own. When he moved back, he maintained the close proximity and whispered, “Yeah, you better not.”
Grinning, you leaned in and gave him another kiss. So soft… you thought in the back of your mind as you—momentarily—dominated his mouth.
Ignoring the fact that Henry was in the next room, you gave Allen another kiss; and then another, and another. He rarely let you kiss him as you pleased; he often was the one to have full control over the make-out.
You were leaning into him more and more, your hands and knees sinking into the couch. You wanted to feel his body.
As if sensing your thoughts, Allen moaned and gripped your waist. He pulled you into his lap without breaking the kiss.
Immediately you wrapped your arms around his neck, running your fingers through his locks of silky brown hair.
A burning heat was starting up in your lower stomach. From the waist down, you felt like you were on fire. The passion from his kisses mixed with the pure chemistry between you and Allen was almost too much to bear. You wanted to touch him and feel him for the rest of eternity. His soft lips upon yours, his strong arms around your waist, your legs straddling his hips—
A door opened.
“…_____!” You felt Henry’s presence first, but his voice startled you anyway. You jumped in surprise, but Allen kept you in his lap.
“____, get off that boy this minute.”
“Henry… we’re not doing anything wrong. _____is old enough to make her own decisions. It was just a kiss,” Allen said, still holding you.
“Get up, _____. Now.” Allen released you and you both stood.
“Henry—” you began.
“Shut up and go to your room.”
You grabbed Allen’s hand and held on. “Get over yourself, Henry. It’s not like I haven’t kissed anyone before.” Well, you had. You’d kissed Allen before.
“You’re fifteen years old!” He roared.
“Sixteen soon enough. Henry, this is not a big deal. Why are you so—”
“-Go to your room.” He lowered his voice, but his anger was still boiling over the top.
“Dollface, go ahead. Your dad and I need to talk.” Allen squeezed your hand and let it go. His voice was lazy and smooth. Nearly emotionless. But his eyes were hooded; irises burning like fire.
Fifteen minutes after you went into your room, Henry stalked inside. His fury was tamped down—somewhat. “_____, whatever is going on with Allen is over. You are too young for a relationship like that.” He ran his hand through his hair and sighed.
“Allen admitted he’s too old for you. Too experienced. I’m sorry I tried to grab you, but this…” He flipped his palms up and looked around the pathetic room, “This whole situation… it’s turned me into someone I don’t even recognize. Everything fell apart. I don’t even know how it all started.”
He didn’t know how it started? How could he have the audacity to ask that?
“Anyway, Allen will still work here until the house and yard are done. But he’s agreed there will be no physical contact between you. None. I want you to agree to it, too.”
You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything.
His dad wouldn’t let you see him. Your dad wouldn’t let you see him. What were you going to do? You knew you wouldn’t stop seeing him.
D-E-A-D-L-Y-A-T-T-R-A-C-T-I-O-N-
When Allen arrived the next day, he went to work on the backyard while you worked on the front. You didn’t talk to him and he didn’t talk to you, but you didn’t believe Henry’s story. Allen was full of double-talk. He’d tell Henry what he wanted to hear and secretly have another plan of his own.
When he left at six, Lauren was out looking for a job in the town while Henry was driving out to get some more furniture from a cheap warehouse place. That left you alone with Peter.
As you walked into the room you shared with him, you instantly got a sharp pain on the bottom of your foot. “Ouch,” You’d stepped on another one of his Legos. “Peter, I told you to put away your Legos—”
You paused when you saw him sitting atop his bed, deeply concentrated on building a large Lego ship. The kind with small parts relating to the object being built, with mini pieces and sailor men to go with it. Last time you checked, Peter only had normal, large-sized Legos. Not the kind that came from a model box.
“Peter… where’d you get that?”
He looked up, and put a finger to his lips. “Shhh. Allen said Mom and Dad can’t buy us presents right now, so they’ll be sad if they see he got us stuff.”
You were baffled. “A-Allen got you that…?”
He nodded, and got back to work. “Don’t worry. He got you something too.” He didn’t even look up from the ship model.
“He did…” You plopped down on your bed, wondering. But as you lay back, you felt something stiff beneath your pillow.
Curious, you reached under.
It was an iPod Touch. There was an app installed called TextNow. A message was displayed.
Allen: Meet me at midnight at the end of the block. My dad won’t be home tonight. I won’t let Henry keep us apart, dollface. I won’t let him hurt you either.
A.N.: Let’s get ready to sneak out everyone~
…Important: Please don’t think of Reader’s foster parents as ‘bad’ or ‘evil’. They’re just not very nice or understanding. Since this story is from Reader’s perspective, we don’t get the whole picture; there’s definitely more to Henry & Lauren than meets the eye.
Anyway, please review your thoughts?