6 years ago
I looked down at my negative test.
"Babe it's okay"
"It's not, I can't get pregnant!"
"Baby it's been 2 months it was our first proper try, we can try again"
I took a deep breath"Okay"
5 years ago
Negative. Again. "Y/n?"
"I'm sorry" I mumbled holding back the tears.
"Baby, it's okay, it's not your fault" he pushed open the door and I was sat on the floor a few tears running down my cheeks. "You can't give up baby, if it kills me I'll get you pregnant"
"Blake it's been over a year, it's killing me. I don't know how much longer I can do this"
"Don't give up hope"
4 years ago
"I'm so sorry Mr and Mrs Richardson" tears fell.
"Are you sure?"
"I'm sorry sir, I tried my hardest, there's no heartbeat and the baby is behind development"
"Don't give up hope baby"
"This is the 3rd miscarriage! I can't do this!"
3 years ago
Negative. Again. He was out, I was tired of getting his hopes up. Leaving him waiting the other side of the door.
****
"Y/n!" He called from upstairs
"Yeah!"
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"What?"
"I found the test in the bin"
"I... I keep getting your hopes up, I can't do it anymore"
"Hold on baby, don't give up hope, I want you to get my hopes up"
2 years ago
Negative. How can I tell him again?
Last year
"THAT'S IT!" I threw the test on the ground. "I'm fed up! I can't do it anymore! I can't get pregnant! This is too much emotionally! I'm sorry, I really am but it's been 6 years of endless sex and I can't have kids I should just accept it"
"Baby please I'm begging just a few more months I don't want to give up on our family just yet"
"Okay okay a few months that's it"
January
A few days late. No y/n. You'd done this before. My boobs are sore. Y/n, you get that's all the time just before your period. And sure enough 2 days later there it was. STOP GETTING YOUR HOPES UP Y/N!
I rested my head on Blake's chest after our love session.
"Blake, what is it doesn't work again?" Tears fell.
"It'll be okay, look at me" I looked up into his deep brown eyes they looked broken, upset, like every thing I was feeling. "Don't give up on me, it's going to be okay, have hope" I could tell he was trying to be strong for me. "I want to be a dad so bad. I want a baby as bad as you, we can't lose hope honey, if we lose hope there is no chance"
"I can't keep doing this Blake it's killing me that! I'm emotional drained and broken. Every time I do get pregnant I lose the baby it's been 6 years, you give me everything I've ever wanted and I can't give you the one thing you ask of me" I was a full crying mess by now.
"Have hope baby" a tear ran down his cheek, and I felt his start to shake next to me as he started to cry too. We just cried together, our hearts breaking
February
"There's my gorgeous girl" he smiled as I sat next to him on the porch of the house we were staying in at the sea front. I put down 2 glasses of lemonade and put one on the table in front of him, for the first time in months we laughed together.
"I love you"
"I love you too, everything will be okay sweetheart, everything will work out"
March
A sicky feeling. No y/n! I'm not pregnant, I never will be, accept it.
"Y/n? You okay?"
"Yeah"
"Your not baby girl"
"I am really"
"You're throwing up and have been for a week, do you think-"
"No, don't do this, I'm not"
"You m-"
"No please stop"
April
Blake came back from shopping and I helped him put everything away. I opened the bag and put the veg away first then at the bottom of the bag there was a blue box.
"What's this?"
"Honey-"
"No, Blake stop! I'm not pregnant!"
"But you might be! You've been sick, you've missed your period, your moaning about back and boobs hurting! Baby please this is the last time I promise!"
"Okay, I guess you might be right, let's do it"
"Do you want me to wait outside or sit with you?" I smiled, even after everything he still didn't want to make me uncomfortable or push me. He was honestly the cutest. I took the test, I sat on the floor waiting for the negative. Blake sat next to me, putting his arm around me.
"Go on look" I said as the alarm goes off. He did he didn't have an expression. "See I told you, negative! Stupid idea" I stood up but he grabbed my wrist.
"Wait..."
"What? Rub it in my face I can't give you a baby, I get it, go find a woman who can give you babies"
"Y/n look" he handed me the test, pregnant. I was actually pregnant.
"Oh my god" he stood and hugged me and squeezed me tight. The memories of the miscarriages flooded back, I prayed my baby would live this time.
"I'm taking extra care of you, nothing is harming you two" he said holding me tight, picking me up and laying me on our bed.
May
Sat in the hospital waiting room. Waiting. And waiting. I had prepared for the worst.
"Sorry Mrs Richardson" the voice rang in my head.
"Okay let's get you checked out" said the doctor to me. I lay down gripping Blake's hand preparing for the worst. "Okay here you go" she turned the screen to us, "here's your baby, and..." She pressed a button "here's the heartbeat" it was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard tears fell from my eyes, I looked at Blake and he was the same. Previously it'd been too late because they'd died already. "I saw your file I know how much this must mean to you. It looks like you conceived in February so you've made it out of the first trimester good and healthy"
"So is miscarriage is not likely"
"It's not impossible but less likely, do you want photos?"
"Yeah please" she stepped out of the room.
"Oh my, y/n! It's actually happening!" He gave me a massive hug.
June
"Y/n please! This stress isn't good for you or the baby!" I sat down taking deep breaths, don't do anything to hurt baby. "Come with me sweetheart" he helped me up and lead me to the bathroom, there were candles and roses.
"I ran you a bath so you can chill and relax we've waited so long for this so I need you to relax so everything works out okay?"
"You getting in with me?"
"No sweet it's about you chilling you don't need me getting in your way"
"Please stay with me"
"Okay okay only because you insist" he helped me get undressed and get into the bath. He sat beside me and had a nice chat he held my hand. He helped me dry off and lay me on the bed under the covers
"Blakey please get in with me, I need you to snuggle me"
"Okay, only because I love you"
He lay next to me he held me close to him, putting his hand on my baby bump, it wasn't too big but definitely visible.
"Blake I'm so in love with you"
"I love you too and this gorgeous bundle of joy"
"Aghhhh" I jumped up grabbing my stomach, as a pain jabbed through me. "No no not again I can't lose you too" I said talking to my bump.
"It's okay babe"
"
I lost another baby" I cried into him.
"You haven't" he said rubbing my back.
"How do you know?"
"There's no blood, and I felt it too under my hand. Babe I think it was the baby kicking"
"Oh my god" I put my hand next to his on my belly. "It's real, they're actually alive"
"Hey sweetheart can you do that again for your daddy" Blake said and a second later I felt the pain again, but this time it was a good pain, a reassuring pain that reminding me baby's alive. He looked into my eyes and smiled, god how I hoped baby had his gorgeous eyes and sweet smile.
July
"HOW CUTE IS THIS?!" I yelled holding a little toy elephant.
"Y/n don't we have enough already" he laughed.
"Nooo Blake I've been looking at these for 6 years hoping one day's I'd have an excuse to get them and now I do, don't take this from me" I smiled.
"Okay okay whatever you want"
"Thank you"
August
Baby's been growing so much. I look so fat, I hate it. I hate the way I look.
"What's up sweet?"
"Nothing I'm good" I said wiping my tears away before he could see.
"I can hear you crying baby"
"I'm just insecure about how I look now I'm pregnant"
"Open the door" I did. "You're gorgeous! I know you don't feel it, I know there are a million and one hormones making you feel this way but I also know what's you're doing us amazing. Babe you're growing a human, and that's mental and you shouldn't feel self conscious about that, I love you so much" I smiled he was so cute.
September
"Rest y/n, not long now till it'll be 3 of us, you need to get some rest"
I lay on our bed thinking about everything, the thing I'd always wanted was nearly in my arms.
October
"Aghhhh" I screamed as I got a sudden pain rushing through me. I'd just started to fall asleep on Blake's chest when I got the pain and I felt water.
"Baby what's wrong?"
"I think I'm going into labour!" I yelled with another pain.
"What? Your not due for another month"
"I know, but clearly baby wants out" we smiled at eachother, our family is nearly complete.
"We've waited 6 years for this moment"
"I love you but I'm in so much pain please let's go"
***
"You're so close honey" I'd never been in so much pain in my life. "One more push and we'll have what we always wanted" he smiled a gripped his hand so tight. That was it it was over, but no cry, I felt so weak and tired.
"B, I love you and if this is it don't forget that" I stumbled over the words, as everything went dark.
***
The bright white hospital lights are the thing that's I was woken too.
"Blake?" I said.
"Y/n! Thank god you're okay, how are you feeling?"
"A lot of pain but I'm okay, where's baby are they okay?"
"Yeah she's over here"
"A girl?"
"Yeah a beautiful baby girl"
"Can I hold her?"
"Of course sweet" he went over to the hospital crib and picked up what looked like a ball of blankets and gentle placed then in my arm.
"She's gorgeous" she yawned and slowly opened her little eyes, they were a deep brown just like Blake's, she was his image, thank goodness. "Hey sweetheart, I'm your mum" I gently rubbed her cheek, "I love you so much, I tried so hard to get you, I love you more than anything"
She started crying, I gently rocked her, it didn't work, I didn't know what to do. "B, what do I do? She won't stop"
"I think she's hungry y/n" I began to panic.
"I don't know how to do that yet, how do you feed them?" I started panicking.
"It's okay don't worry, the nurse said I should call her when she's hungry"
"How are you feeling Mrs Richardson?" The nurse asked.
"I'm okay but I don't know how to feed her"
"Okay that's why I'm here to help" she smiled. She helped me, I didn't work at first but it soon did. "I'll come back when she's done" she smiled leaving.
"Oh my god Blake I'm feeding our baby"
"I know I'm so proud of you, he wrapped his arm around me and kissed my forehead.
***
"Y/n? Honey? Our parents are here can they come in or do you want to wait and rest or?"
"No let them in" everyone came in and gave you a hug looking down at out little girl.
"Wow she's so gorgeous" my mum said. "She's a Richardson, look at those eyes" I smiled she really was Blake's double. Everyone took extra care when holding her, smiling down at her.
"What's this little cuties name?" Me and Blake looked at eachother, we hadn't properly spoke about it. We smiled at eachother.
"Hope" we said at the same time.
"Oh that's so cute! Why Hope?"
"I don't think it's a big secret we have been trying for a baby for years now and we never gave up hope we'd have a baby"
"Aw guys" they gave us both hugs and fussed over Hope.
"I'm so proud of you" Blake whispered in my ear putting his arm around me.
"We finally have a baby" I smiled "and she's gorgeous"
"Just like her mum"
Helllloooo it's been a while, hasn't it? Hope you like this one, I saw it and just thought it was so cute but anyways. Any ideas feel free to comment and I'll do my best X love you all X That was a long one right 😂❤️ 2290 words 😲