Elise was pacing the second she put her phone down.
Luke would've been pacing, too—if he weren't confined by the low rise of his car, forcing him to settle for a white-knuckle grip on the wheel and a knee that refused to stop bouncing.
The girl wasn't quite sure what just happened, or how it happened, or why it happened, but she didn't even have time to dwell on the specifics, let alone figure it out. All she had time to do was pace, and check the door too many times, just in case she'd somehow missed the presence of a tall blond.
It's unclear how much time passed in his tense drive to Elise's building, but Luke swore it could've been hours. In truth, it was probably closer to 15 minutes, but 15 minutes seemed like a lifetime when the boy was left alone with nothing but his thoughts—thoughts he would rather not attempt to decipher.
It was getting ridiculous, in Luke's mind, how hard he had to try just to avoid the inevitable scolding that threatened to occur in his mind. What the fuck are you doing? He didn't know. In fact, he thought it better if he didn't try to find out, because if he knew the answer to that, he'd have to confront what he'd been desperately avoiding.
Instead, he turned his music on. Loud. A weak attempt to stop his mind—and his heart—from racing.
It worked for a little bit, drowning out the nagging in his head, until he caught sight of the suddenly familiar apartment building, and he was back at square one, gritting his teeth as he slid his car into park.
Fuck it, he groaned. Just let the thoughts happen.
And so they did; all the way the through the lobby, all the way up the elevator, and all the way down the hallway, failing to cease even as his feet found themselves planted right outside her door. Thoughts revolving around Elise and the boy he hated, thoughts of that same boy wanting to kiss her while she hadn't the slightest clue, and thoughts of how fucking angry the mere idea made Luke.
He shouldn't have cared, but he did. It shouldn't have left him so angry, so unsettled, but it absolutely did. And he shouldn't have felt the need to see her just to calm himself down, but he did.
Though, it hardly worked, because Luke was anything but calm when two gentle hands pried open the door, using all their might to budge the wood that always got stuck in the frame. All he could do was watch, eyes burning, as the little girl came into view, a slightly frustrated huff escaping her lips from the small amount of exertion just to open the damn door.
His jaw locked. It pissed him off. "You need to get this fucking door fixed."
The girl grimaced, hardly expecting such a stern tone as her fingers ran across the splintered wood. "I know," she sighed. "It's always been like this,"
"Well, I don't like it." He crossed his arms, glaring hard at the frame before setting his gaze back on the girl.
"It's not so bad—" she started to shrug, voice much softer in comparison to his.
"It's not safe."
Elise paused. That's what it's about? She had already come to the conclusion that her struggle with the door and the mere time it took to open it had simply irritated him. She thought she had simply irritated him.
The suggestion that it was about her safety threw her for a loop. And, oddly, made her heart leap.
"It's really not that bad," she told him gently, ignoring the feeling in her chest. "It just needs a little extra...push, sometimes,"
Luke's expression was hard, and whether it was aimed at her, or the inanimate object in question—Elise didn't know. Truth was, it was aimed at everything but her.
"And what if you needed to get out? Or in?" He clenched his jaw. "What happens when it takes too long and you're stuck because you can't get the damn thing open?"
Elise wasn't sure what to say. "Luke—"
He wasn't really listening. He was too busy working himself up, getting far too riled up over such a trivial thing. Though, in reality, it was his previous anger that he'd managed to suppress, coming back up full force because of a goddamn door, and the sight of the girl struggling with something she shouldn't ever have to struggle with.
"Because you're so—" he huffed a bit, frustrated with too many things he couldn't dare say. "Because you're so fucking small,"
If he would've stopped his fuming and just looked her face in that moment, he might've seen the flash of a tiny, soft little smile that barely pulled at the corner of her lips. She didn't know why she did it, but something about his words told her that he wasn't actually upset with her, but something else entirely, and he just wasn't sure how to deal with it.
But Luke doesn't always do what he should, and he missed the curve of her lips and he missed the way her eyes softened in some form of recognition—not of what made him so upset, but just that he was, and she made a silent vow to calm him down.
"Luke." She said simply.
He looked at her. He may have missed the other signs, but he didn't miss her voice, or her tone, or the way his name rolled comfortably off her tongue. No, he had to look at her, with a frown and a mind that had a million things begging to be said, but lips that refused to let any of it through.
"What?" It was literally the only thing he was capable of saying.
The girl brightened a bit at his attention, which didn't go unnoticed by him—though, he kind of wish it did, because the observation already had his ego growing.
"Do you wanna come in?" She asked him innocently, shifting her weight from one foot to the other in slight nervousness.
It was like Luke couldn't speak anymore, for his throat closed up and he didn't know what to say. Obviously, he wanted to say yes. He wanted to do a lot of things, but the stubborn part of him refused to cooperate and he was left silent, arms crossed, same frown prominent and deepening.
He wanted to come in. He just didn't know if he should.
Any other time, and Luke's lack of response would've made Elise deflate, or run away, but this time she felt like she shouldn't. He had come here, after all, and she was determined to find out why.
So, she huffed out a tiny breath, lips pursed in concentration as she reached out to curl a small hand around the material covering his arm, tense from its crossed position, before she gently tugged the boy inside.
And Luke—a slightly beaten, roughed up, stubborn dickhead of a fighter—fucking let her.
He let her uncurl his crossed arms, and he let her guide him through the doorway, and he let her keep a hesitant grasp on his wrist for as long as she wanted to. Hell, if his words weren't choked behind his initial bafflement of her sudden action, he might've asked her to not let go.
But Luke couldn't find any words as he watched her pad in front of him, much to Elise's gratitude. If he spoke, he probably would've asked her what she was doing, and truth be told, she hadn't a single clue. All she knew was that the boy was being stubborn, and every once in a while she got an urge to do something out of her comfort zone before either of them could question it.
In truth, Luke wouldn't have asked her why. He didn't want to know, he just wanted the young girl to keep doing whatever she wanted, while he tried desperately to figure her out.
"Shoot," the girl mumbled to herself, snapping Luke from his trance as he frowned. She'd paused her walking actions, as did the boy, glancing back behind him. "The door," she furrowed her brows, looking back to Luke for, assurance, maybe? He didn't know.
"Wait here," she told him quickly, giving Luke but a second to react before she dropped his wrist and took quick little steps away. His arm fell limp at his side as he watched her go, unable to stop from frowning as he glanced down at the spot where a gentle hand had been holding onto him.
You need to get it together. If he could smack himself without it being noticeable, he would've done it ten times by now. He couldn't help it; this entire night had been difficult to process, and somehow he'd already forgotten his anger and his desire to hit something.
He couldn't physically do it—be angry anymore, that is. Not when Elise had left him utterly speechless from the start, and not when the same girl had brought him inside, of her own volition.
All he could do was shake his head, sigh a bit, and impatiently wait for her come back to him.
Yet, he still couldn't figure out what to say once she did, because the small smile on her lips and the way her little fists were hidden under the long sleeves of her hoodie was more than Luke was ready to react to. Fucking find your words, idiot. He couldn't imagine what she thought when she looked at him; for he was stoic and cold and harsh, unwilling to show the emotion he held somewhere deep, while the girl in front of him wore hers like a neon sign, proudly.
"Sorry," please don't. "Forgot to close the door," she shook her head at her own forgetfulness, moving to skirt around the boy and lead him back down the hallway.
Fortunately, Luke found his voice before she could get past him, low and steady as usual. "Did you lock it?"
There was a small hesitation. "Mhm,"
As usual, Luke caught it. "Are you lying?"
The girl pursed her lips. Honestly, she couldn't remember if she had or not, so she chose the answer that she hoped would make her look less stupid. But now, as the boy seemed to look right through her in their close proximity of the dark hallway, she was already regretting it.
"Elise." He urged, tone somewhat warning.
"I think I did," she winced a bit.
Luke raised an eyebrow, thankful he'd come out from his trance and was somewhat back to his intimidating self. "I think you didn't."
He watched her slump with a sigh, agreeing. "You're probably right," she mumbled.
"I know I am," He mused.
With a soft sigh, she nodded, already turning away once more. "Be right back," she paused. "Again," she added, scolding herself internally.
Luke couldn't help but feel amused as he watched her walk away once more, off to lock the door like he asked her. Such a good little—
He stopped himself, or at the very least, he tried to. It was sort of impossible for him not to take it there, for Elise had proven it to be true time and time again. Still, he pushed it down, willing himself not to get to that point.
Yet.
"Luke?" He let out a deep breath, eyes snapping to the girl watching him curiously. "Are you okay?"
He frowned. "What?" How long has she been standing there? "I'm fine." Clearly not, fucking jackass.
"You just looked a little out of it," she shrugged, dismissing the way she'd observed him thinking hard about something, forcing herself not to ask what he'd been thinking about.
"I'm fine," he repeated, hoping to convince himself more than anything. He looked down at her, huffing as she gazed patiently up at him, with eyes that were too bright and too pure. "Did you lock the door?"
Nodding, she was much more proud of herself now. "I did, promise."
Promise. It was like she already knew he was going to ask again.
"Good," He muttered, suppressing the urge to add another word on the end of it.
Content, Elise smiled a bit to herself as she brushed past him, ready to make her way to the room off to the right. He just stared, stoically watching as she moved silently away from him.
She glanced back, frowning at his unmoved stance in the hallway. "Are you coming?"
He blinked. "Where are you going?"
As if it were obvious, she gestured to the opened door. "To my room," duh, she wanted to add, but it would've sounded rude and that wasn't what she intended at all.
"Your room," Luke echoed.
"Yeah," she sighed. "We're not gonna sit in the living room," the girl cringed, and Luke raised a brow.
"And why not?" He asked her slowly, nevertheless taking long, contradicting steps toward her. It wasn't that he didn't want to go to her room—because he definitely, definitely did—but rather he wanted to know her reasoning; somehow he knew it wouldn't be the same as his.
Elise took note of the way he moved closer, whilst trying not to take note of the way his eyes stayed glued on her. Nervous wasn't quite the right word to describe the way he made her feel. He was just...Luke, and he was more calculated and intense than anyone she'd ever been around.
But that didn't mean she didn't like it.
"I like to be comfortable," she shook her head in distaste. "And that cement block out there doesn't work for me,"
"You mean the couch?"
"It's a slab of rock," she corrected.
Luke had to thank the lord that the lights were dim in this hall, otherwise the girl might've seen the amused stretch of his lips into a grin—one that he couldn't be bothered to contain simply because it would've taken too much effort.
This girl, he thought, shaking his head. This fucking girl.
Still, he managed to cover it with a smooth run of his tongue over his bottom lip, taking the final steps forward to reach her in the doorway. "I'll take your word for it," he murmured.
Elise had to hide her grin too, not because she didn't want him to see it, but simply because it would've given away the fact that she had seen his lips curl up, illuminated just enough for the girl to catch. She would keep it to herself, but she would not forget it.
She spun around wordlessly, tending to an unplugged string of lights to give them some source of sight in the otherwise dark room. Luke took the time to observe, the clutter of books and pictures and the odd article of clothing strewn about. It was so personal, so her in every way, and Luke was focusing intently on taking it all in. The pinks that stood out amongst the white walls and the plethora of color in the girl's room intrigued him. It was cute. It was her.
His eyes settled on the plush expanse of her bed, covered over and over with blankets and fluff beyond any he'd ever seen. He wanted to laugh, because the girl clearly took her comfort very seriously, but he didn't on the account it might offend her—and that was the last way he'd mean for it to come out.
Luke thought it was all very cute, and he couldn't remember the last time he'd described someone like that.
Meanwhile, Elise fiddled with the sleeves of her hoodie while she watched him look around, fueled by nerves and uncertainty. She had to guess that he was probably judging her, finding everything stupid or weird—or maybe finding her weird for not taking him to the living room instead. She was wrong, in every way, but she didn't know it.
"You weren't kidding," he muttered suddenly, surprising her mid-climb onto the bed.
"About what?" She asked him when she took a seat, tucking her knees to her chest.
He simply raised a brow, gesturing to the fluff she sat atop and the pillows that surrounded her. "Oh," she nodded somewhat sheepishly. "Yeah, I just—" she ran her hands over the soft material under her. "I just like it like this, I guess,"
"Never said it was a bad thing, did I?" The boy mused, hoping to stop the borderline apologetic tone she used.
She sent him a small smile. "No, but you're still standing there,"
Surprised a bit, Luke tilted his head. "What should I be doing?"
"Sitting," duh, she thought to herself once more, moving a stray pillow from the bed and patting the spot as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
Though, to Luke, the absolute last thing he expected out of coming here was to somehow end up on her bed. Not like that, Luke, what's wrong with you?
"Luke," the girl interrupted his thoughts, brows pulled together once his eyes shot back up.
"What?"
"Just sit," her voice was soft, but a hint of amusement underneath could be heard.
With a small sigh, and a cursing match raging inside his head, he decided it'd be better to just give in. So, he took a slow seat on the edge, feet still planted firmly on the ground. He found himself wondering if Elise's legs would be dangling, instead. Of which, they definitely would.
"Happy?" He muttered, the both of them finding an odd sense of dejà vu at the question.
"Mmhm," she nodded with a faint smile, sliding her sleeves up her arms to free her hands.
Luke just sighed in response, resisting the overwhelming urge to fall back and relax, because the girl's bed and stack of blankets was far more comfortable than he'd expected, and it only just occurred to him how sore his body was. He didn't, though, he couldn't let himself do it.
"So," Elise cleared her throat, suddenly unsure again. He didn't bother saying anything, just glanced at her with a somewhat expectant look. She wasn't surprised, taking it as a sign to continue. "What, uhm—what happened, tonight?"
Though her voice was tentative, and she was hesitant to ask, it didn't stop Luke from tensing, speaking in a low tone. "What are you talking about?"
For a split second, Luke forgot all about the conversation he overheard, and all about the frustration he felt. And though it wasn't possible, he was tense with the idea that she somehow knew about it, too.
In reality, Elise had no clue. "When you called," she trailed carefully. "You seemed kind of panicked,"
"I was not panicked," Liar.
She sighed at his small scoff. "Seemed panicked," she reiterated.
"I wasn't," he muttered, lying once more.
"Urgent, then?" She tried.
Luke didn't respond. There wasn't any denying he could do. Anyone with a brain could hear the urgency behind his phone call. His reasoning for it, however, was something he was not willing to delve into, especially with the girl herself.
Elise had never been more confused in her life, but, oddly, she was okay with it. She really wasn't a pushy person, and until it affected her negatively, she didn't feel the need to press on. Yet.
"You don't have to tell me," she almost whispered it, glancing down while he set his gaze intently on her. "But I hope everything's okay, now."
Luke was pretty sure he couldn't look away if he tried. Even when she glanced back up innocently, with her pure expression and her nonchalant tone, he didn't dare avert his eyes. Truth be told, he couldn't care less if she saw him staring, and he certainly felt no shame for it.
His brows were pulled together and he was frowning, to which Elise couldn't distinguish if he was irritated or not. It couldn't have been farther from the truth, though, for Luke was simply the opposite. He was baffled, a little shocked, and maybe even the tiniest bit entranced.
"Everything's fine," was all he could say, refusing to look away as he spoke slowly.
"So nothing happened?"
Luke blinked. "Nothing I can't handle."
The girl didn't take much notice of his bafflement, she didn't think she said anything to warrant it, anyways. "Well, good," she nodded, perking back up the smallest bit.
Luke kind of wanted to sigh out in relief, or maybe even slump back against the bed, because she hadn't pushed it. He didn't even know what he could've said, for the explanation of 'Calum Hood might be in love with you and I maybe kind of want to fucking kill him,' didn't seem like an appropriate statement.
He didn't want to tell her about the other boy's crush, mostly because he didn't know how she felt about him. It wasn't something he was prepared to hear, so, he decided he wouldn't, and for the time being, Luke just wanted to forget all about it.
It wasn't until the small girl yawned that Luke snapped out of his thoughts, brows furrowing as he took the opportunity to finally glance at the clock on his phone, gritting his teeth when he saw it was nearing 3 in the morning. "Shit," he muttered to himself.
"What—"
He cut her off with a frown. "Were you sleeping?"
She frowned too. "When?"
"When I called, Elise," he sighed, hand running down his face in irritation, at himself. "I woke you up, didn't I?"
"No—"
He wasn't listening, far too busy smacking himself over the head mentally. "Dammit," he mumbled, huffing. "I knew it,"
"But I wasn't—"
Again, he was too busy being mad at himself and abruptly standing to notice. "Fuck, you were sleeping," he muttered, mostly to himself. "I shouldn't have—"
"Luke!" The sound of her giggling shut him up. That, and, he couldn't really ignore her saying his name.
Pausing his movements, he glanced at her, confused to see her halfway crawling closer with lips shut tightly as to hold in a laugh. "What?" He frowned, already feeling like he sounded rude.
Elise thought it was funny, and, dare she say, kind of cute. It's not something she would admit out loud, for she was smart enough to know Luke wouldn't like it, but she could think it all she wanted. So, she did, because the confused frown on his face was something only Luke Hemmings could make cute.
"If you would've listened," she scolded, though her tone was so playful it threw Luke off. "I said I wasn't sleeping. Not when you called,"
He stared at her for a moment, taking in the little pajama shorts and her hoodie and her fresh face, narrowing his gaze. It certainly looked like she was ready for bed, and he wouldn't be surprised if she were only saying that to make him feel like less of a shitty person. Which, made him feel even worse.
"You're lying." He said flatly.
"I don't lie."
"You just did."
The girl huffed. He is so stubborn. She wasn't sure what else to do, so, she crawled a little closer to where he stood, near the edge of the bed, and promptly stuck out her pinky.
She's kidding. He thought to himself as he stared at her outstretched finger, though, a part of him knew she was absolutely serious.
"Promise," she spoke sternly, though it was nothing like Luke's stern voice. "You didn't wake me up," when he didn't move she held up her other hand, wiggling the fingers. "I'm not crossing fingers, either, look,"
The boy looked from her hands to her face, half amused and half in utter disbelief. Though, on the outside, neither really showed. "And that's supposed to make me believe you?"
"Yes," duh, she found herself thinking, for the third time.
Staring at her for a moment, Luke considered his options. Either he'd give in and she'd probably smile like an idiot, or he'd stand his ground and have to see her pout.
He'd rather see her smile. Idiotically or not.
So, with that as some sort of motivation, Luke sighed, shook his head, and locked his pinky with hers. Deep down, he knew he was going to from the start.
And just like he predicted, the girl smiled from start to finish, clearly pleased that he'd played along. Even after his touch was removed, and their pinkies weren't hooked together, her lips were still curled upward.
Luke didn't think she looked like an idiot, though. He thought she had a pretty smile.
He rolled his eyes while she giggled a bit to herself, somewhat proud of getting a guy like him to participate in a cheesy ritual that she loved so much. It was a small accomplishment, but a triumph nonetheless.
"Better not be lying to me," He muttered.
Shaking her head, she gestured to her hand. "I just proved that I'm not."
He studied her for a moment, searching for some sign that she wasn't being truthful. He could read her fairly well, and he was confident in his ability to tell when she was lying. As for now, he deemed it was an appropriate time to believe her.
Still, he crossed his arms. "You should've been sleeping."
"When you called?" She cocked her head to the side.
He nodded. "Mmhm,"
"Why?"
"It was late," too late for you.
She shrugged a bit. "I wasn't tired,"
"Bullshit."
Elise frowned, about to dispute it but ultimately caving with a sigh. "Okay, I was tired, but I couldn't fall asleep,"
"Why not?"
She shrugged again. She didn't really have an answer to give. "Why weren't you asleep?"
Luke raised a brow. "We aren't talking about me."
"We should be."
Somewhat amused, Luke ran his tongue over his bottom lip, taking a slow step forward until he was right in front of her dangling legs. He watched her swallow as he tilted his head, fighting the urge to smirk. "I don't think so,"
"We could," she mumbled.
"But we're not," he said smoothly. "We're talking about you,"
They were close. He was close, closer then he intended to be. He was hardly able to help it, for her reactions were just too satisfying to stop from reveling in.
He found himself wondering if her heart was beating a little quicker, if her chest was moving as deeply as it looked through the material of her hoodie. He could only hope he affected her as much as she made it seem.
And as much as she affected him.
Like they always seemed to be, Elise's eyes were bright with a certain kind of innocence that baffled him. Yet tonight, they were heavy, heavy with tiredness that she was struggling to keep at bay. He knew she wasn't willing to admit it, but she didn't have to. He was close enough to her face to see just how badly she wanted to let her eyelids fall, and he wasn't going to let her lose another second of sleep; not for him.
As much as he didn't want to stop whatever it is they were doing, and as much as he knew she didn't want to either, he made the decision for them. It wasn't one he was particularly happy with, but he knew it was necessary.
So, he sighed, and took a step back. "And you need to go to bed."
Elise frowned, slumping a bit in what Luke could only describe as disappointment, though, he didn't let himself dwell on why.
He was disappointed too, but surely his reason couldn't be the same as hers. Could it?
"I'm not tired," she said quietly, a weak attempt at convincing him.
"You can barely keep your eyes open," he raised an eyebrow, watching the way she tried to shake herself out of it.
"But—"
"Don't even try."
She sighed, nodding. Truthfully, the girl was extremely tired, and there was simply no denying it, even if she wanted to stay up, and talk to Luke.
Wordlessly, she scooted back toward the pillows atop her bed, peeling back a few blankets to situate herself into. Luke found himself watching far too closely, still unsure of what the hell he was even doing here, before he tore his eyes away.
"Goodnight," He murmured, already heading for the hall.
He was halfway through the doorway when she called out, pausing the ruffling of her blankets to stop him. "Wait, uhm, Luke?"
"What?" You sound like an asshole, he scolded himself, though he ultimately ignored it.
"Are you still gonna come by the café?"
He paused, glancing back at the girl surrounded by blankets, sitting up with a curious, and undeniably pure, expression. "Do you want me to?"
She nodded innocently, almost confused by the question. "Yeah,"
Fuck. "Then I will."
The small, content smile on her face was almost too much for Luke. She wanted him to. He didn't really understand it, he didn't understand a lot of things right now, but he couldn't say he didn't like it.
As for Elise, she was just happy to know he didn't think she too annoying, or something of the sort. If he was willing to see her again, and he'd been willing to come here, it had to count for something, right?
"Okay," her voice was quiet. "Goodnight, Luke."
Sighing, he forced himself to look away. "Night," he repeated.
He closed her bedroom door softly, leaving a small space open just in case she didn't like it all the way shut. He had a feeling she liked the small amount of light that peeked through, and, well, he was right—she did like it like that. Especially when she was all alone.
The walk to the front door was short and silent as he kept his thoughts down, at least until he locked the door behind him and nudged the stubborn thing closed. With a deep breath, he allowed himself to lean against the cheap wood, collecting himself and muttering a quiet "what the fuck are you doing?" before he reluctantly let himself walk away.
The thing was, Luke didn't really want to go, but she didn't know how to ask him to stay.
♚
Y'ALL THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA KISS?? LMFAOOOO
no but seriously, if I could update this book every day I WOULD. Like, I'm not even kidding. Makes me wish I didn't have a life LMAO.
also I just wanna say your comments kill me like your reactions are the best thing ever & it makes my day
Okay bye I love u :)
-tay