We Are Many
by Wuckster
We are many. We are one. We have seen what has become of this world, and who is responsible. We demand punishment. We demand repayment. We do not forget.
"Melvin! Pay attention!" The teacher's ruler crashed down on Melvin's desk, startling him out of his thoughts. "I'll repeat the question one more time. If Captain Zaxxon's star cruiser takes off from the Il'liguyz spaceport at a speed of 80 light years a kilosecond and Admiral Vi'un's grand cruiser leaves from the Oorso System at a speed of 34.9 light years per kilosecond where will they meet?"
"They'll meet in Hell," Melvin said as he ripped some of the little jagged pieces off the edge of his notebook.
"What did you say?" the teacher asked.
"You heard me, you Imperialist pig! They'll meet in Hell! And you'll be waiting there to meet them! When the Varellians rise up against their oppressors you'll be the first one against the wall!"
Moments later Melvin found himself in the principal's office where his bare bottom was on the receiving end of a vicious paddling.
"I sincerely hope that will teach you some respect, young man," Principal G'yqual said as he hung the paddle back on the wall next to his other instruments of corporal punishment. "Next time I see you in here, I'll use the lash. And if I see you a third time, I'll pull out the iron ball with the spikey things on it. You don't want the iron ball with the spikey things, do you?"
"No, sir," Melvin said as he stared at his shoes. Actually I'd like to have it to bash your stupid fucking face in, you miserable scum.
"Do you have anything else you'd like to say for yourself?"
"No, sir," Melvin said. Actually yes. I can't wait until the day I can piss all over your head as it rests impaled on a spike. That day is coming soon. Just you wait. You can't keep us down.
"Go home, young man, and think about what you've done. And don't let me see you in here again."
"Yes, sir," Melvin said as he pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. Don't let me see you out in the streets or I will mess you up.
Melvin caught his reflection in a mirror on the wall as he stood up to leave. He tried to ruffle his hair a little so it would look cool and maybe a little dangerous, but it just flopped right back into the bowl shape that his mother insisted on cutting it in.
He sighed as he left school and began walking home. His ass felt like it was on fire from the whooping he had received and he had a feeling he wasn't going to be able to sit comfortably for a couple of days. Still, he was proud he had stood up for his principles. Kind of.
He paused on the bridge that spanned the River of Souls and looked outward. The sister planet Elhrrrr'r was just rising over the horizon, shining big and blue in the late afternoon sky. That was where they had sent all the Varellians after they had rounded them up in the Great Cleansing of '32.
"Stay strong, my brothers. We shall overcome." Melvin held a clenched fist to his chest and continued to watch as Elhrrrr'r slowly continued its ascent. Melvin had never been to Elhrrrr'r or even met a Varellian as they had all been shipped out fifteen years before he was born. He'd never even left the planet R'holl even though his father owned a fancy rocket ship that he liked to cruise around space in, but never invited Melvin along.
Still, he felt that he could relate to the Varellian plight and liked to imagine that they would welcome him as a valuable contributor to their cause. He often imagined giving impassioned speeches to the Varellian masses and receiving their adoring applause. And then he liked to dream about more relaxed moments when he could hang out with his Varellian friends Jeddediah and Philbert and they would crack jokes and make each other laugh. Maybe they would even form a jug band and become famous. How wonderful it would be to have Varellian friends. Or any friends for that matter. Aside from his robot he was building in his parents' garage, which still didn't technically count as a friend because it wasn't exactly functional yet. But it was close and once it was, the Imperialist dirtbags that inhabited this planet would learn to cower at his feet.
His thoughts were interrupted once again as a large dirt clod impacted the side of his face.
"Nice one, Chance! Ten points!" A large boy with short spiky red hair laughed as he high fived his equally big friend who sported a bright green mohawk. They leered at him from the other end of the bridge.
Melvin knew them all too well. Chance and Zed were two grades ahead of him and the star players on the school's ankleball team. When they weren't busy winning games or making out with their cheerleader girlfriends, they loved nothing more than to torment Melvin.
"Hey, Nerd! You've got some dirt on your face," Zed said as he hurled another dirt clod at him. This one caught Melvin right across the bridge of his nose, causing his glasses to snap in half and fall to the ground.
The two older boys howled with laughter and chest bumped each other. Then Chance bent over to grab another dirt clod making sure to get as many small rocks and pebbles in it as possible so it would hurt more.
"You'd better not throw that at me," Melvin shouted.
"What did you say, you fucking dork?"
"I said you'd better not throw that at me or you'll be sorry."
"Did this fucking dweeb just threaten us, Chance?"
"I believe he did, bro."
"Well let's kick his fucking ass, then!"
The two older boys charged at Melvin and slammed him into the ground where they began pummeling him with their fists.
"Take that, you fucking nerd," Zed shouted in his face as he blackened both of Melvin's eyes.
"Yeah, that's what you get for being a fucking nerd, you fucking nerd," Chance said as he hocked an enormous loogie in Melvin's face.
"Let's teach this four-eyed little fuck a lesson he'll never forget," Zed said as he sat Melvin up and tugged with both hands on Melvin's underwear, lodging it way up in the nether regions of Melvin's ass, which was already in extreme pain from the paddling that had been administered by the principal.
"Heh heh," Chance chuckled. "Let's hang him up on that post." They proceeded to lift Melvin up and hooked the band of his underwear on a bridge post, suspending him several feet in the air. Then they stomped on the broken remains of his glasses as they left him to seethe in his rage and humiliation. It wasn't until three hours later that a man in some sort of business suit walked by and helped him down from the post. Melvin ran away from the man without saying anything. The guy was probably another Imperialist scumbag anyway.
Melvin paused outside of his house before going in to look to the sky again. He searched all around, but it seemed that Elhrrrr'r had gone behind a cloud. Still, he knew it was there along with all the Varellians who were just waiting to befriend him. He clenched his fist to his chest once more before heading inside.
He felt a strong hand grip his shoulder as he walked in the front door.
"Where the bloody hell have you been, boy? You're three hours late! Your mother has been worried sick about you!"
"Huh?" his mother looked up from her gossip program on the telescreen. "Oh, is Melvin home already? I didn't even know he was gone."
"What's the matter with you, boy?" his father shouted at him. "How many times have I told you, you can't worry your mother like that? How many times?"
"Could you two quiet down?" his mother asked. "My favorite game show is about to start." She clapped her hands and sang along as the theme music started.
"Do you see how devastated she is?" Melvin's father screamed. "That's it! You're going to bed without supper tonight! And you're grounded for two weeks! And you're getting the belt, boy! It's time you learned to show some respect!" He pulled down Melvin's pants, which was surprisingly difficult since his underwear was stuck so thoroughly in his buttcrack and then proceed to whoop his buttocks with his belt. "Now go to your room! And turn off all the lights! I don't want you doing any reading up there, or whatever weird activities you're into!"
"Yes, sir," Melvin said as he pulled his pants back up and started to head up the stairs.
"Wait!" his father shouted. "You get over here and apologize to your mother for scaring her half to death."
"Sorry, Mum," Melvin said as he walked over to her.
"Would you mind moving over a couple steps?" his mother said. "You're blocking the screen. That's better. Oh, there's pudding cups in the cold storage unit if you'd like a snack."
"No pudding cups!" Melvin's father shouted.
"Also a package arrived for you today, honey," his mother called out after him as he went upstairs. "I left it on your bed."
Melvin opened the door to this bedroom and saw there was indeed a large box sitting by his pillow. He tore it open and was pleased to see that the death ray he had ordered for his robot had arrived. At last he had the instrument he needed for his revenge. He just needed to get the robot working. He knew he was close. It just needed little bit of tinkering on the mainframe. And the death ray, of course, which he now possessed. A good night's work would probably be all he needed to get it up and running. Then he would have a new best friend who could help him take his vengeance on the oppressors. Then he'd find a way to get to Elhrrrr'r where he was certain the Varellians would greet him with open arms,
He waited in silence in the dark until he heard his parents shuffle off to their bedroom. Then he snuck down to the garage and went to work on his robot. In the wee hours of the morning he screwed robot's back panel into place and crossed his fingers as he flipped the on switch.
For a brief moment nothing happened, but then there was a distinct whirring sound and the robot's eyes lit up. "Hello. I am Unit RY99992. You may call me Roy. How may I serve you?"
"Hello, Roy. I'm Melvin. You and I are going to be best friends and do everything together."
"Hello Best Friend Melvin. That sounds delightful. How shall we begin?"
Melvin tried to stifle a yawn, but was unsuccessful. "I'm about to collapse from exhaustion. Let's sneak up to my bedroom and sleep for a few hours. Then tomorrow we can begin our Day of Reckoning."
"How marvelous, Best Friend Melvin. However, I do not know the location of your bedroom."
"Follow me and keep the noise down. We'll introduce you to my father in the morning. And then he'll rue the day he took away my pudding cups."
*
Melvin awoke with a start to find Roy hovering over him. "I see you have awakened Best Friend Melvin. It appears to be a beautiful morning outside. Shall we begin our Day of Reckoning?"
"Indeed we shall. Is your death ray all charged up?"
"My death ray is at 100% capacity Best Friend Melvin."
"Excellent. Let's go down and say hello to my Dad."
They traipsed downstairs where they found Melvin's mother mixing up a protein shake in the kitchen. "Good morning, sweetie. Did you sleep well? Oh, and who's your little friend?"
"I slept wonderfully, Mother. This is my best friend Roy the robot. Say, Mother, do you happen to know where Father is? I have a matter I would like to discuss with him."
"He's already left for work, dear. Would you like a protein shake?"
"Blast it," Melvin said. "Well, no matter I shall have to deal with him later. There's no time for protein shakes, Mum. Roy and I need to get out there and go on a killing spree."
"Well, have fun dear and don't be home late. We're having chicken nuggets for dinner tonight."
"Yummy, my favorite, Mum," Melvin said as he planted a kiss on her cheek. As he pulled away he spotted the keys to his dad's rocket ship sitting on the desk in the corner. He casually sidled over and pocketed them. This was an unexpected boon to his cause. After he and Roy vanquished their enemies he could escape to Elhrrrr'r and join his Varellian comrades. He'd never actually flown a rocket ship before, but he figured he could pick it up on the fly. He gave his mother another kiss on the cheek and then he and Roy headed out the door. First stop: school. Principal G'ygual's about to find out he fucked with the wrong man.
They were cutting through T'llathian Park when another dirt clod hit him in the back of the head.
"Hey, Nerd!" Chance shouted. "What's that piece of garbage you got there?"
"Hello, Chance. Hello Zed. I was hoping I'd run into you two again. This is my best friend Roy. And that right there in his right hand is Roy's death ray. Not so tough now, are you? Go ahead, Roy. Zap these two jerkwads into smithereens."
Roy raised the death ray and squeezed the trigger. A harmless beam of red light came out the other end and made a spotlight on Chance's forehead.
"What the hell? Why isn't his head exploding?" Melvin asked. He took a closer look at the death ray. There was some small print on the side of it that he hadn't noticed before that turned out to be a disclaimer that this was not a real death ray and was intended only for educational and recreational purposes. Damn it. I knew I shouldn't have ordered from Honest Ahab's Discount Military Accessories.
"Nice toy, you got there," Chance said as he walked up and grabbed the death ray out of Roy's hands. "Be a real shame if something happened to it." He snapped the death ray in half over his knee.
"Yeah, be a real shame," Zed said as he shoved Roy in the chest.
The robot toppled over to the ground and began making a high pitched buzzing sound.
"Error. Error. Help Best Friend Melvin. Error. Error. Error."
Chance had found a large stick on the ground and began bashing the robot with it. In the meantime Zed picked up a boulder and smashed it down on the robot's head. There was a popping sound and then the lights in Roy's eyes went out as he went silent.
"Told you it was a piece of garbage," Chance said with a smirk.
"You fucking creeps," Melvin shouted through tears. "That was my best friend! You killed him!"
"And now we're going to beat your ass, you fucking wonk," Zed said as he punched his hand with his fist.
Melvin reached in his pocket and pulled out the keys he had stolen. "Oh yeah? Well, I'm going to fly my dad's rocket ship to Elhrrrr'r and join up with the Varellians and then we'll get real robots and real death rays and then we'll come back here and beat your ass."
"Why come back here?" Chance asked. "We can beat your ass on Elhrrrr'r just as easily."
"Yeah, right," Melvin said. "And how are you going to get there?"
"We'll take the Elhrrrr'r shuttle like we do every day," Zed said. "We live on Elhrrrr'r, dude."
"What?" Melvin sputtered. "That's impossible. Why do you go to school here on R'holl?"
"Because R'holl's got the best ankleball team, geek. They gave us scholarships to come here for school."
"You're lying! The Varellians would never stand for having Imperialist scum like you living among them!"
"We're Varellians, nerd."
"No! It can't be! You're making all this up!"
"You want to see my identification card?" Zed said as he pulled it out. It clearly stated that he was a Varellian and his home address was on Elhrrrr'r.
"But what about the Great Cleanse of '32?" Melvin sputtered. "When they rounded up all the Varellians and forced them into exile there."
"You mean when our people voluntarily went and cleaned Elhrrrr'r up and made it into a nice place to live? That place used to be a real shithole until we came along. Speaking of shitholes, I saw a construction site a couple blocks over and they had a port-a-potty. Let's go dunk this dweeb."
*
A couple hours later Melvin found himself in the cockpit of his father's rocket ship. His eyes were swollen and his nose was all stuffed up from crying and his hair was soaked in raw sewage, but in spite of all that he felt hopeful. The Varellian Resistance had all been a fantasy he'd cooked up in his mind, but that didn't matter. His people were out there somewhere and they'd welcome him with open in arms as soon as he found them. And now he had the means to get there. Thanks for the sweet ride, father. He turned the keys in the ignition and blasted off into the unknown.