*Flashbacks in bold
He had just had his first chemotherapy session. He was now resting in his hospital treatment room. There was so much pain that he couldn't sleep. Despite the medications he was given to help him sleep quicker to avoid the extreme pain. The first session lasted for several hours and it wasn't easy to go through it. His strength was slowly going away and so was his patience.
This was too much for him. But he had to go through it, he needs it to prolong his death. He has to wait for Zain to fulfil his promise. The promise that in itself was very heavy and painful for Shahroze but he had no other option. Before Zain left, he promised Shahroze that he would bring Rudaba to meet him. He knew Zain would fulfil his promise. That is what he hoped, and this is what kept him alive and this was enough for to survive the pain of this treatment.
Seeing Rudaba one last time was all he wanted.
Telling her one last time that he loved her was all he waited for.
Hearing her say that she is happy with Zain is all he wanted to hear before he closed his eyes one last time.
Life was so cruel. So harsh and so cutting. He was here all alone. Suffering from this killer disease all alone. There was no one with him present to give him even two words of encouragement or hope.
Never in a million years, a normal living human being thinks of how lucky they are to be fit, healthy, happy and moving. Not many say a prayer of gratitude and thankfulness to their God either. They take their life for granted. They don't realise how it's a blessing to be living a healthy life. Being able to wake up every day, being able to breathe every day and being able to walk around, eat and drink every day is such a blessing. We all take it for granted until we see someone in front of our eyes slowly losing it all. Then it hits. Then the reality hits that this life is too short. Too temporary.
Shahroze was realising all of that right now. In his time alone, he was getting the chance to think back at everything he lost, everything he took for granted and everything that could have been his if fate and God's will be different. But he had accepted it now. He knew this was it. So, he wasn't going to complain to his God. Instead, he prayed for her. For her. The only woman he has loved. He said a prayer for her and for her happy future. He wanted to die in peace knowing she is safe, protected and happy.
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Almost after two days of Shahroze's call, Rudaba came out of her room today. She wrapped herself with a shawl and sat in the garden in an attempt to get some fresh air and inner peace. Nature always gave her peace and calm, so she was here to find it again. Close to plants and flowers.
"The flowers are beautiful."
She had her eyes closed and was leaning against her chair but now she opened them and looked to her right and found Zain sitting on the chair beside her. He was smiling at her, but he was also looking careful.
"You? Here?"
"Yes, I am here."
She sat forward and straightened herself and had a stern expression on her face.
"So, how are you?"
"Zinda hoon. Zindagi guzar rahi hai. Aur kia hona hai mujhe."
Zain had looked away now and hid his smile. Looking away from her, he calmly muttered.
"Usay maaf kardo, Rudaba."
She shifted her eyes towards him and he could see the shiny tears forming. But her expression was cold and bitter.
"Uskay aisa karne ke bawajood?"
"Haan. Uskay aisa karne ke bawajood."
"Kyun? Nahi karungi mein maaf usay. Kabhi nahi karungi."
"Aise nahi bolo Rudaba. Kahin baad mein tumhe apne hi lafz kaat na dalein..."
"Teen saal, Zain! Teen saal. It is not a joke. He said he loved me and after all these years, a week before the wedding, he decided I was not good enough for him."
"Did he say you aren't good enough for her?"
"No but that's what he meant."
"Acha batao, tumhe kiya lagta hai usney shadi se inkaar kyun kiya hai?"
Rudaba looked confused suddenly. As if lost in deep thoughts.
"Usay koi aur pasand hogi, ya mujhse tang agaya hoga..."
"Tumse tu guess hi nahi kia ja raha aur itni naraaz bethi hu us sey. Jab usney tumhe nai bataya ke woh aisa kyun kar raha hay tu kyun ulta seedha ilzaam laga rahi hu usper jab ke tum hud jaanti ho aisa nahi hai."
"Zain, koi aur baat karo. Please."
"Acha, koi aur baat karte hain. Teen din mein tumhari shadi hai? Hai na?"
"Sirf naam ki hai. Jis se karni thi woh toh..."
"Rudaba?"
He had interrupted her.
"What?"
"Mujhse shadi karogi?"
She was taken aback at first. For a few seconds, there was a glimpse of shock, then it turned to anger but it also immediately eased off. As if she had found her answer.
"Haan, karungi."
Now it was Zain's turn to be shocked. She said yes so easily, so simply, without giving it a thought. Shahroze was right when he said she would agree in anger, in a feeling to take revenge.
"Soch toh lo, koi jaldi nahi hai."
"Kyun? Tumne soch ke nahi kia yeh sawal?"
"Rudaba, what I mean is..."
"If you mean to say that I am emotionally ready for this, yes I am. The wedding is scheduled in three days, I don't really have time to work on my emotions right now."
Zain just sighed and looked away. Her bitter tone was not for him, it was for Shahroze and how unaware she was of everything. He wanted to tell her right now. He was doing all this fast, so he could get this done and tell her everything. His heart was heavy with the burden of truth. He wanted her to know everything and why Shahroze sacrificed his everything for her happiness. He couldn't see her hate for Shahroze. It was weird, but it was also normal. But he didn't have any other option right now. He had promised Shahroze that he would take Rudaba to meet him and he will fulfil this promise. But right now, he had to force silence on himself. Eventually, Rudaba will know everything.
"Mein us ke jaisa tu shaed kabhi na ban paoun, woh apne aap mein khaas hai aur ek hi hai magar koshish karsakta hun ke tumhe har khushi dun, tumhara har haq adaa karun aur tumhe har takleef se bachoun."
"Zain, mein tumse shadi kar rai hun, tum jaise hu, waise raho. Tumhe uske jaisa bannane ki zarurat nai hai."
There was silence between the two. Unbearable for the both of them. He wanted to tell her the truth, but he couldn't just yet. She wanted to say out her conditions to him, but she was still gathering courage to speak up. Heaving a sigh, she finally decided to speak up.
"Zain?"
"Ahan."
"You have known about me and Shahroze always. So, now that we are going to be together, I just want one thing from you."
She had looked up at him and he nodded.
"I am listening."
"Trust. I just want you to trust me. It will not be easy for me to move on, but I will try. So, please never doubt or not trust my efforts or intentions."
"I trust you, Rudaba and I always will. Don't worry at all. I have one thing to ask of you too."
She looked back at him with questioning eyes.
"Trust and understanding. Never doubt or misunderstand my actions either. Ever. Please. Khuda jaanta hai mein jo kar raha hun, jo agay karunga woh sab sachi niyat se kar raha hun. Isliye ju bhi ho, mere per bharosa karna."
She passed him a sad smile.
"Kitna asaan hai mard ke liye kehna 'bharosa karo', aur phir wohi mard wohi bharosa tor bhi deta hai jaise hud ka kiya waada bhool gaya ho. Khair, I trust you. You have always been kind to me and I know you are genuine. So, I will not judge you ever."
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He was in the kitchen making himself a cup of coffee when he heard his door bell ring. It was 3pm in the afternoon. Who could have come now without any notice? He reached the door and opened it.
His lips curved into a warm smile. She was at his doorstep with a cake and a bag full of presents in her hand.
"Happy Birthday, my love!"
She had walked in and placed the cake and presents on the table. Rushing back to him, she embraced him in a tight hug.
"You remembered?"
"Duh! You thought I won't? Hmm?"
"No, I didn't. Magar meine socha dupeher ke teen baj rae hain, shaed Ruds ne socha ho ke ab tu adhey se ziyada din guzar gaya, agle saal wish kardungi."
"Waise buhat hi ghalat khayalat hain apke mere bare mein."
"Haye, 'apke'! Ruds, are you okay?"
"I am absolutely okay. Waise yeh kia tumne Ruds kehna shuru kardiya hai."
"Phases atey hain mujh pr madam. Aj kal Ruds ka phase aya hua hai. acha nai lagta tumhe?"
"Lagta hai bas waise hi."
"Acha ab cake le ayi ho, tu cut karloon? Bhook lagi hai, coffee bana raha tha. Acha hai saath cake bhi khane ko milega."
"You are such a kid!"
"Khuda ka khauf karo larki! Poorey taees (twenty-three) saal ka hun mein."
"Acha baba, maaf karo. Aoe cake cut karte hain!"
She went over to the table and took the cake out of the box and the one candle she had bought with it. She sang happy birthday for him while he cut the cake. Instead of allowing her to feed him some, he took a piece fed it to her.
Hugging her sideways, he had mumbled softly near her ears.
"I love you, Rudaba."
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