Today was Thursday and I finally felt fully rested. There were only a few days left until the show and my band and I where no where near ready. We hadn't even mastered the two songs I had given them last night and I was supposed to come up with one more song for tonight. I was definitely feeling the pressure of everything boxing me in and beginning to bury me. I knew I couldn't crack now, I was so close.
I'm my first class Amelia and I talked about what we wanted our dresses to look like.
The day flew by. Patrick and I ate lunch alone today in the cafeteria. Just being near him again was giving me the same feeling as he gave me last night. I just wanted to lean across the table and kiss him or touch his hair or face or maybe just look into his eyes until I didn't feel like this anymore, this feeling was weird. I was snapped out of my thoughts by the muffled low hum of background chatter of everyone in the cafeteria. I also realized Patrick was saying my name.
"Huh?" I said coming out of my daze
"The guys and I have prom all planned out, and they have the costumes for Saturday." He said. "Pete also wanted to tell you he's sorry for being so crazy the other day. He said it was just a bad day."
"Tell him I understand." I said.
"I think he was just pissed because he liked you or whatever" I scrambled my brain through the nervousness to find something to say.
"Ewww" was all I could think of as I scrunched my nose, but it had successfully made Patrick smile.
"I'm glad you're in a band too, we get to spend more time together in a different way, it's kind of cool to see you sing." He nudged me a little playfully.
"But unfortunately we don't really have time to spend together in a normal way." I said.
"Tonight, after our practices we can." He said. "I thought you weren't too keen on spending time with me in a normal way" he said.
"I think I changed my mind." I said making him look straight at me. We both knew what we were actually talking about here. Patrick cleared his throat nervously before he spoke again.
"I don't want you to feel like I'm Making you-" Patrick began but I cut him off with an assuring tone.
"You're not. I promise. I do what I want."
"Nothing has to happen" he said carefully."
"I know." I said in reply.
---------
Patrick carried my guitars into Kevin's house again.
"You know, your my boyfriend not my pack mule." I said as we descended the stairs to the basement.
"I'll be anything you want me to be." He chuckled.
"Well in that case, Paige, can tell him to be the guy that helps us out again because were feeling pretty fucked right now." Kevin smiled and Patrick went all awkward on me from not realizing they were listening.
"What's the problem guys?" Patrick asked as the took turns listing everything including the news to me that they had been here all night practicing.
"Let's just hear what you guys have so far" Patrick said confused by all the problems.
I joined them and we played the first two songs that they had down pretty well, the new two were the problem the first one Nate, yet again had bass problems with and the lyrics just felt wrong to me the guys all agreed it didn't fit. The second song we worked out quickly.
"Okay," Patrick said setting things straight. "So its just the lyrics and bass on that one song. I think I should call Pete in on this one seeing as he specializes in both." Patrick said and took out his phone making dread hit me. Sure Pete could probably help them, but I had a feeling he was going to make things worse for me.
"Did you write us our last song?" Nate asked.
"No, I didn't have much time." I said regretfully making Blake sigh. "I might have something though." I said and grabbed my bag on the pool table and rumaged through it only to find a song that I didn't want to do or share that I had written the day after Pete and I had hung out, It was about the night at the cemetery.
"Let's hear it." Nate said after I had pulled the page from my bag and looked over it. Nate was now handing me my acoustic guitar. Patrick hung up the phone and leaned against the walk to watch me. Reluctantly, I began to strum the chords and sing deciding to just go for it. It brought back the ghost of a shell of the way I had felt about Pete. The along was slow and most definitely a love song but very haunting just like Pete had felt to me.
"Show me the ink and tell me the stars shine for only me. Tell me you love me and I'll always be free." I sang as the song ended. There was this really weird pause from everyone and I herd a slow clap coning from the stairs. I looked over to see Pete perched on the railing now slow clapping.
"Well that solves that." Kevin smirked.
"What do you mean?" I asked ignoring Pete on the stairs.
"That song was perfect." Nate said.
"I second that." Pete spoke up.
"I can't do a song on stage without you guys, we're a band." I said
"You just aced it and we all have one less song to get through now" Blake said, I was actually surprised that he might of just complimented me.
"Fine" I said admitting my defeat and realizing they had a point.
"I think that's my favorite." Pete said shooting me a glance catching my eyes. He knew, holy crap, he knew. How could he not? The song was riddled with obvious referenced to him. But Patrick didn't know and that's what mattered. "Now let's hear what you guys are having problems with." We played and Pete quickly figured out the bass.
"Trick, will you practice calm before the storm with them so Paige and I can go upstairs and sort out lyrics?" Pete asked picking up my guitar and Patrick nodded. I took a deep breath as I led Pete up the stairs into Kevin's living room.
Pete and I sat quietly on the couch as his eyes ran over my lyric paper. He began to cross things out and write new ones in while strumming the song on the acoustic guitar.
"I know it was about me." He said playing the tune again with his eyes on the paper. In the back ground there was a drowned out but still loud sound of my band playing.
"What?" I said deciding to play dumb, but I was trapped in a figurative corner and I knew it.
"It's about things only we could know, I'm not stupid." He still concentrated on the lyrics.
"What if it was?" I said as more of a rhetorical question.
"If it was, then I miss you. If its not, then It should be." He said still refusing to look at me.
"Pete, Patrick is my boyfriend and I wrote that song before he was. Its not like I'm stuck on you or anything. We just had that one night together." I said harshly and rolled my eyes.
"Then why are you playing it now? You could of just let it go, burned it. You must like being reminded of me." He said slyly.
"It doesn't matter what or who it was about, I like it and the others do too." I said and suddenly noticed he was refusing to look at me.
"Why wont you look at me?" I began getting frustrated with him but he finally looked at me with his big brown eyes.
"Because it hurts. You murdered my heart, I wanted to explain." He said then handed me the paper. "In your song you said for me to tell you I love you." Pete began but I stopped him.
"Just don't Pete." I sort of commanded. I looked at him for a moment before taking the lyrics and guitar and heading back down stairs with him following me.
"You guys get it?" Patrick asked.
"Yeah, it should fit now." Pete said and we played the song. Sure enough it all worked like clock work. As I preformed I felt my phone go off in my pocket but waited until after the song to check it.
The text from my mother said "Be home by eight we want to spend some time with you tonight." I pouted and cursed under my breath.
"What's wrong Paige?" I heard Patrick ask as he came closer to me I decided to show him the text from my mom making him pout too.
"So you won't be able to come over then." Patrick said sadly. "It's okay though, we could always reschedule." I said.
"I'll do something even better. Amelia and I will stay the night Saturday after the show." I said making his eyes light up in surprise. "Of course I'll have to ask her first."
"That would be so cool." Patrick said visibly excited.
"Sounds pretty cool" Pete butted in.
"eavesdropper." I said making him smile a crooked smile at me.
"Hey I'm just wanting to offer up my mad adult skills and buy the booze for this little shindig." Pete shrugged.
"No party." Patrick shook his head "remember last time? The root beer keg is still there." I gave Patrick a weird look. "I'll have to tell you later, it's a long story."
"Fine." Pete said and walked off in defeat.
---------------------
I spent a while talking to my parents and watching TV with them, it was actually pretty pleasant. We all decided to go to bed around ten and by eleven as I was writing music on my bed. I could hear my dad snore from my parents bedroom two rooms away.
I was working on a song about Patrick when I heard something hit my window making me jump a little. I brushed it off until I heard it again. I got up and tip toed to my window expecting for some reason to see the monster from that Twilight Zone episode I had watched as a kid about a monster on the wing of a plane. I opened my curtain to instead see a dark haired guy. He stepped into the light that my window had cast on the ground and I realized it was Pete with his white toothy grin I could recognize from up here.
I opened my window in confusion. How did he know where I lived? He must be a master at stalking.
"Come down." He whispered quite loudly. I rolled my eyes at him and closed my window. I tiptoed down the stairs and opened my front door and stepped out where Pete was waiting for me.
"hey." he said simply.
"I'm not even going to bother asking you how you found out where I lived or which window was mine, but you could of at least sent me a text before scaring me to death by throwing things at my window."
"One, Amelia told me. Two, you haven't answered my texts. Three, it was just pebbles, and I'm sorry I scared you... wuss." he had counted off the numbers on his fingers.
"Why would Amelia tell you where I lived?" I asked still confused.
"I black mailed her, I'm not allowed to talk about it. She'll probably tell you tomorrow so you're probably going to be mad at me... which leads me to why I came over." I waited a moment for him to tell me.
"so...why did you come over?" I asked still puzzled by his silence, but all he did was shrug. This kid was crazy.
"I couldn't sleep, my medicine does that." He finally said but I felt like it was a lie until I recalled him telling me something about that before.
" I remember." I said.
"I kind of missed you. I thought about the night at the cemetery and I just wanted to talk to someone, it just felt really good talking."
"Pete, you live with three other people and you drove twenty minutes just to talk to someone?"
"Only ten if you drive fast enough. Well, plus ten more minutes to black mail Amelia into giving me directions to your house"
"What did you do to her?" I finally asked.
"I can't tell you. Just know I would never do the thing I threatened to do. she really cares about you ya know." He said changing the subject.
"I know." I said. "Hey, what if I wasn't awake?"
"that was the chance I was willing to take. what were you doing up, by the way?" he asked and I shivered from the chilly night.
"writing music" I said.
"let's walk to my car" he pointed to his car parked behind the truck in front of my neighbors house. "I just want you to be warm... unless you just want to go in, in that case I'll just leave."
"your cars fine" I laughed a little.
"what if I told you I could make your lyrics better. what if I told you you could feel free instantly." he said.
"what? how?" I asked wondering how many more riddles he had for tonight. he pulled out a lighter and what looked at first to be a ciggerette but with closer inspection I realized it wasn't.
"pot?! you want me to smoke pot with you?!" I said ready to get out of the car.
"what's wrong with it?" he asked innocently.
" its drugs Pete." I crossed my arms.
"no its not. you would be willing to drink alcohol someday if you haven't already, right?" he asked.
"yeah, but this is different." I said.
"if by different you mean non habit forming, doesn't cause hangovers helps you write and sleep, then yeah its different. plus you will love the feeling I promise." he said "it will make our talk better just like you make everything better for me. it also helps with stress." he said waving the unlit joint in front of my face.
"fine. I'll try it." I agreed but he was already lighting it up and passing it to me.
"how do I do this?"
"just put it to your mouth and take a deep breath in." he said as held it just like he had. I nervously did as I was instructed and ended up choking as the smoke exited my mouth in puffs as I coughed it out.
"I can make it easier for you if you want." he said and I nodded and handed him the joint. "I'm not going to kiss you, just trust me and breath it in" he said before taking a hit off the joint and leaning over to me and blowing the weird smelling smoke into my mouth. I inhaled and it worked, I breathed out the cloud of smoke easily this time.