What could possibly be the one emotion you feel in a moment like this? The thing is, there is not one emotion, but thousands, millions of emotions that you feel when somebody gives you the news of something you've been waiting to hear for so incredibly long. It's so hard knowing that the possibility of something like this happening was not high and there was a big chance that it would never happen, so what do you feel when you actually receive an information so positive?
My mind could only process one thing in that moment and that was shock. And after shock followed happiness and sadness and then after all, longing. Longing to be there with my family and to be there with my mother who has just woken up from a coma she was in.
A sob escapes my lips, waking up Hailey who is laying beside me. Her panicked expression forces her to sit up quickly and she grabs my face in her palms.
"Katherine, honey, listen to me." My dad says on the other line in the same time that Hailey reises her eyebrows, wondering what's going on.
"I am, dad, I'm listening." I say and Hailey slowly releases me, placing her hands on my unoccupied arm.
"I know you would like to come here -"
"Yes." I exclaim, my voice sounding rushed. I wipe away my tears and dab on my cheeks just as my hair blurs my vision. "Yes, I'm coming."
"Alright. But I want you to stay calm, Katherine. We all need to be calm and have patience." My dad says and I nod, even though he can't see me.
"I know, I know." My head starts hurting and I rub my temples. "What do the doctors say? How is she? Is she healthy?"
"She is, yes. I still didn't talk to her doctor but we're on our way to the hospital and he said he would come. Doctor Ambrey, you know her supervisor, she said everything is functioning properly." My dad answers my questions. "For now at least."
"And her? Did you talk to her?" I start tapping my fingers along my own thighs.
"I did." He answers and I keep my breath in anticipation. "She's just lost a little bit. I couldn't stay for long."
"Did she say anything?" I continue asking. I must be boring but I honestly don't care. It would be a lot easier if I was there with them but since I'm not, I have to make up for it.
"Not much." My dad sighs. I assume he's too vulnerable to talk about that over the phone so I decide to change the topic.
"Where's Jas? How is he?" I ask as my thoughts are clouded with my brother. The thought of him makes me ache for home. I wish I could be next to him right now.
"Confused." My dad says and shuffles around on the line. "He's still trying to figure out how to act."
"Yeah, so am I." I mention, just now realizing how badly I'm shaking.
"I'll get the tickets immediately. I'll call you back." I tell my father hurriedly. "And dad, get some sleep. You sound restless."
"I know, honey. But when it comes to your mother, I'd rather not sleep than be away from her." My dad says and I smile at his love for my mom.
He says goodbye before hanging up the call. I stare at the phone for a moment, processing my own thoughts until I remember the presence next to me. My eyes lift up to meet my cousin's and a huge smile erupts on my face as I throw my hands around her neck.
"She's awake! She's awake, Hailey!" I squeal, releasing both laughs and tears. "My mom is awake!"
Not even a second later Hailey tightly hugs me back and I feel her body tense with happiness. Not long after that she drops her head on my shoulder and I feel the wetness of her own tears on my skin.
"She is? She is! Oh, thank you, God." Hailey whimpers and that only makes me cry harder, my eyes squeezing shut.
"I can't beileve this, Hailey!" I place my hands over my face and smile to myself, tilting my head back. Hailey places her hands in a praise position and looks up at the sky.
"It finally happened." She says and wipes away the tear forming under her eye. She dabs on her cheeks and beams at me.
"Oh, God. I can't wait to see her." I say what comes to my mind. The face of my mother and her bright eyes makes me release another happy and excited tear.
"You're going to New York, right?" Hailey rushes to ask me and I nod enthusiastically.
"I want to go now." I sit up but my cousin giggles and grabs my hand.
"Slow down there." She tells me and I sit back down, waving my hands around to cool myself down.
"I need to get tickets. The first available flight." I mention, my eagerness growing by every minute.
"You need to relax. Don't rush." Haiely says with a soft smile.
"How can I not rush? I've waited for this for so long." I literally squeak and shake my hands in front of me, still not believing this newfound information.
"Okay, come on." Hailey says and grabs her laptop from the table. "Let's start then."
My rush to find the first available tickets doesn't falter throughout the entire time Hailey and I search the internet. We manage to find a flight at two in the morning and I immediately book it, not stalling even a second.
Packing my bags was as messy as it can get, seeing as I practically threw everything inside of my suitcase, with Hailey following me around and folding my stuffed clothes and organizing my makeup and cosmetics bags. I personally didn't care if I forgot anything so my cousin made sure of it, I hope. I continue jumping up and down the entire time, my feelings overboard.
Apparently, neither of my friends knew about my mom and her state of coma, except Jessica, who I told that myself. After shortly explaining everything to them, they insisted on helping me pack and driving me to the airport. They told me I shouldn't do anything and that every little thing will be taken care of by them. Carter took it upon himself to make my last hours in this house memorable, fun and unforgettable. I still don't know if I'll be coming back to the house but considering my situation and how overwhelmed I am, I doubt it. Carter made me play soccer, which I suck at, and later took me paintballing. He took me to the castle I saw when I went biking and he told me that is where he would usually meet up with Abraham. The castle itself is nothing special, and as I was previously told, the rooms are dirty and ruined, but the view from it is absolutely magnificent and I start remembering all the movies I watched as a child, where the princess would dramatically go and stand on the balcony.
Against all my protests, Luke made me sandwiches, but I highly doubt I will eat them. I saw how many ingredients he stacked on them and from what I know, some of them are not supposed to go together, ever. I decide to rely on the snack Sarah fetched for me and the lunch I have that day.
By nighttime, I'm eager and tense and I can't bring myself to sit calmly. I've said my goodbyes to everyone and comforted girls as they shed a few tears before they all went to sleep, on my command, otherwise they would've stayed up.
"Do you want me to turn on the TV or something?" Luke asks, looking at me over the rim of his laptop. He has his reading glasses on, which I find so funny, mostly because I had no idea he has to wear them.
"Nope, I'm fine." I say and wipe my hands over my shirt. I look around the familiar living room, my eyes following every trace of moonlight as it shines on the objects in the room. I finally have enough of it and stand up abruptly.
"Do you wanna go to McDonald's?" He asks and I shoot him a look.
"I'm fine, Luke." I try to conclude but my cousin's boyfriend only chuckles at me. He closes his laptop and crosses his legs in that manly way. He volunteered to take me to the hospital and I was grateful for that.
"Patience, Kat, patience." He smirks and I just roll my eyes.
"I doubt you'd be patient in my situation." I tell him and he chuckles again.
"I know. Hails told me plenty about your mum." He says.
"She did?" I raise my eyebrows, my voice going a little higher.
"Yeah." He leans forward and places his elbows on his knees. "Lovely woman, from what I heard."
I smile. Everyone that know my mother always define her wih the same words: kind, beautiful, joyful... She really is all that, and more. All the good things in life I was taught by her. I'm not like her personality wise, we are different and my dad always said I could use some of her warmth. But despite that, she was always the light in our lives and sometimes I wish I'd have some of her uplifting thoughts.
"She is. The most incredible person I know." I smile to myself, already wrapped up in happiness.
"Then you must be eager to go back home." Luke stands up and places his laptop on the side. He grabs his phone and Hailey's car keys. He smirks at my confused face expression before speaking. "Let's get you to the airport."
"Oh, right." I shoot up from the couch and listen to Luke's chuckles as I make my way to the door.
The drive to the airport and the flight itself seems like the longest time in my life. Hours pass by so slowly I feel like I'm travelling for days. I occupy myself with books and magazines and scrolling through my phone. I find nothing interesting but I do make sure to check out the Instagram feeds of my friends back in New York. I haven't missed them like I miss Alex but I'm surely interested in finding out what's new in their lives. I talk to Alex while I wait for my plane, becase I practically force Luke to go back to the house. I don't mind bothering Alex but I've only known Luke for a month and I don't want to be a problem. Even though he objects, I assure him I'll be alright and with a hug, we part. He must be exhausted from driving this early in the morning, anyway. I have to force myself not to roll my eyes during the flight attendants' instructions and continue telling myself that's extremely important to know. The moment my plane lands I jump in my seat, tingles forming all over my body. Making sure I take my backpack and also my suitcase from the baggage carousel, I rush through the people and all the taxi drivers to the exit and the open air, where I spot my dad's dark hair.
The joy in me boils like hot water, as a squeal escapes my lips and I launch myself in his embrace. My dad lets out a deep laugh and hugs me tightly.
"Oh, honey, I'm so glad you're here." He says through my hair and I only nod, currently in the state of being speechless.
"Let me take your bags." He tells me and I hand him my suitcase.
"I'll carry my backpack. Where's Jasper?" I look around for my brother and his curly hair.
"By the car." My dad answers and I follow him to a direction he's going. "I didn't want to go straight inside the parking so I just parked next to it."
"Okay." I giggle and continue after him.
Once we reach the car, I gasp at the sight of my brother and widen my eyes. He rolls his eyes at my reaction, a habit that certainly runs in the family, and swats my hand away when I pull my fingers through his hair. My brother got the curly hair gene from our mom and seeing how much he has cut makes me wonder where his head was at that time.
"What did you to your hair?!" I shriek. His curls are still visible but they're so small and don't fall beside his ears.
"Nice to see you too, Kat." He groans and I chuckle, giving him a short hug before returning the subject, now spinning to face my dad.
"Why would you let him do that?" I whine. My dad just shrugs and throws my suitcase in the trunk of our car.
"Don't ask me. I didn't know about it until after he returned from the hairdresser." My dad answers my question and I turn to my brother again, who seems more than annoyed at me.
"But you're not wittle anymore." I pout and Jasper scoffs.
"I'm sixteen."
"No, you're five."
"If you get a head start, you'll make it to the returning flight." He says and I can't help but laugh. Sometimes I refuse to accept the fact my little brother is growing up, becoming manlier everyday.
"Get in the car, kids. You'll have enough time to bicker on our way to the hospital."
With one last laugh at Jasper, I call shotgun and sit in the front, ignoring my brother's glare.
Once again, I am faced with impatience. My hands start sweating as we drive through the dark. It's about five in the morning when I land and the drive to the hospital takes us about an hour, stopping for a pizza on the way, so we manage to get the hospital just in time for visiting hours.
Hospitals are places where everything is white and white usually brings a sense of peace. But when you enter and you know you just cannot be calm, all that white disturbs you and makes you nervous and that happens just as I walk through the glass door of our huge hospital. First of all, the building is absolutely massive and every time I came here I never got the door of my mothers room correct. But now as we walk through the corridors I seem to remember the exact place, the exact shape of the door and the door knob of the room my mother is in. The intensive care unit isn't hard to miss, but they didn't put too muh effort in seperating it visually. The only difference is the big ICU sign and a much quieter atmosphere.
We first meet my mother's doctor, who informs us about her condition and how she's dealing. Overall, her state is healthy and clear, apart from her disorientation, which is, like the doctor said, completely normal for someone who has just woken up from a coma. He did admit his fear that she wouldn't be able to remember anything, but then he told us how as soon as my dad's, Jasper's and my name were mentioned, she made sure to ask where and how are we. Then he leads us to her room, advising us, mostly me since I'm seeing her for the first time, to be calm and take things slow.
I tell my dad to open the door because I cannot stop my hands from shaking. I feel Jasper grab my hand just as the door creaks open. They both let me go in first and when I peek through the small crack of the door and spot my mom, an uninvited tear falls down my cheek, adorned with a wide smile. Unlike the last couple times I've come here, in this half empty room, my mother's eyes are not closed but open, looking at me like I'm sunshine and she hasn't seen daylight in so long. My tears run down my cheek as I run over the tiles, sprint over to her on her bed and fold myself in her embrace. Like a child in the womb, I curl up in a fetus position, my hands tightly holding hers. As soon as I feel her fingers curl against mine, I sob louder, the action of her motions taking all my emotions out of me. All this time I've held her hand, I desperately hoped to get a reaction back and now I finally am. I can hear her sniffs combined with my own, as we both let our feelings out. After some time, I raise my head slowly, meeting her bright eyes.
They're stained with tears, bloodshot even, as she examines my face and takes in every little detail, painting a picture of me in her mind. Then her hand moves slowly to my cheek and I lean into her palm.
"My sweet child." She murmurs, her lips pressed in a tight line to supress her crying. "My sweet Katherine."
I scoot closer to her and hug her around her shoulders, careful not to move her tubes around too much. She's still weak and still dependent on them.
"I missed you, mom. So much." I say gently, sniffing as I do so.
"I know you did, darling. I heard all your stories, every word and every sentence." She says into my shoulder. I smile so wide I can't help but drop another happy tear.
"I have so much to tell you." I say and she smiles, her eyes wrinkling at the action. I remember my brother and my dad and decide not to be selfish, moving away from my mom, but never letting her hand go. She smiles at me once more, filling my heart with happiness, before looking at the two men behind us.
"My boys." She ushers them to move closer. I can see Jasper's eyes watering and I pull him closer to me when he reaches us.
"My family." My mom whimpers but the smile is still on her face and we all have a group hug, neither of us wanting to release.