Continued from Robot of Sherwood ― II
__________
"Eat, my Lady, eat." The Sheriff urged as he sat at one end of a table laden with all kinds of food while Lexi sat at the opposite end. There were candles burning throughout the room and a large fire in the fireplace. "Let it not be said that the Sheriff of Nottingham is a poor host."
Lexi quirked an eyebrow. "I had a bowl of chocolate ice cream this morning, thanks."
He tilted his head. "Your words are strange, fair one."
"I should think they are. After all, chocolate ice cream won't be invented until the late seventeenth century." She crossed her arms. "And if my calculations are accurate, that's not going to happen for another five hundred years."
"I like you." The Sheriff smirked at her. "You're refreshingly... direct."
"You can take the girl out of Scotland."
The Sheriff held up an item in clear wrap, then the Doctor's spoon. "Taken from your friend's strange tunic. An intriguing gallimaufry. Including... this wand. Evidently a thing of awesome power. Tell me... Are you from beyond the stars?"
"I don't think you should be asking me that question, oh Sheriff with the robot army." Lexi retorted.
***
"I'm sorry?" The Doctor scowled at Robin.
"No, beat your breast." Robin told him as Clara sat alongside them, trying not to laugh. "Moan. Groan as though twenty devils possessed your guts."
"What for?"
"So as to attract the attention of that gargoyle-faced guard."
"It's your plan, you moan."
"No, no, no, it won't work."
"Why?"
"Oh, because you're clearly more advanced in years, and you have a sickly aspect to you."
"I have a what?" The Doctor's scowl deepened as Clara snorted while silently using Lexi's sonic to undo her chains.
"You're as pale as milk. It's the way with Scots, they're strangers to vegetables."
"I'm not moaning. You moan."
"Fine." Robin sighed, rolling his eyes. "If you want something doing." He moaned loudly, then gave the Doctor a look. "Can I rely upon you to do the rest?"
"Yes, yes, I know the drill."
Robin kept moaning, and the guard spoke through the barred window in the door. "What is this din?"
"No business of yours, cur." The Doctor glared before turning to Robin. "Speak up. I can't hear you."
"What ails him?" The guard asked as Robin moaned more.
"None of your business."
The guard entered with a frown. "I said, what ails him?"
"Well, if you must know..." The Doctor grinned. "He's having a nervous breakdown."
"A what?"
"He's like this whenever he's in any kind of danger. He just can't seem to cope, he gets so afraid. He goes into a kind of fit. I honestly believe that he may die of sheer fright, like some tiny, shivering little mouse." Robin glared at the Doctor as he spoke and moaned. And just because the Doctor couldn't help himself – "Oh, God, I think he's soiled himself."
"Let him die." The guard brushed it off. "It will save us the trouble of executing him."
The Doctor tilted his head as the guard started to walk back to the door. "And what will happen to the reward?"
Perking up, the guard turned back around. "Reward?"
"Oh, God." The Doctor mocked a grimace. "I shouldn't have said that."
"Tell me!" The guard ordered.
"He carries a vital message. The Prince has promised a bounty."
"A big one?" The guard asked eagerly.
"An enormous one."
Robin mumbled something through his moaning, and the guard turned to him and leaned in. "What's that? Say again?"
"Come closer." Robin wheezed. The guard did, and Robin scowled at him. "Your breath stinks like a serpent. Has anyone ever told you that?" He then proceeded to head-butt the guard, who then fell to the floor, unconscious. Robin promptly looked over at the Doctor. "Soiled myself?"
"Did you?" The Doctor smirked. "That's getting into character." He then spotted the keys on the ground and reached for them with his foot. "Okay, come on, keys!"
"I'll get them." Robin said as he himself tried to reach the keys.
"No, I'll get them."
"I'll get them... I'll get them."
"I'm fine, no, no worries! I've got them!"
"I've got them! I'll get –"
In the two men's scuffle, the keys were soon pushed through a grate before they fell down and dropped into water.
"Well..." The Doctor started. "there is a bright side."
"Which is?" Robin glanced at him.
"Lex didn't see that."
"No, but I did." Clara finally spoke up, making both men look over at her, almost as if they were just remembering that she was there as well. "And can I say... I am absolutely going to love telling her all about it."
"Don't you dare." The Doctor narrowed his eyes at her.
"Now, is that any way to speak to the person who can free you?" She questioned as she held up Lexi's sonic, grinning at the Doctor and Robin's shocked faces. "Didn't think so."
***
"But enough of tawdry matters." The Sheriff stood from his chair and slowly walked towards Lexi, using his dagger to spear a grape before eating it as he went. "Let us talk of softer, sweeter things."
"Ah, lovely." Lexi smiled sweetly, clasping her hands. "That is just as I had hoped."
"It is?" The Sheriff asked her as he leaned against the edge of the table.
"Oh, yes." She nodded. "For I have known I was destined to draw the eye of a great and powerful man for a long time." She then unclasped her hands and picked up a goblet of wine. "It was from the very moment that I saw those mysterious lights in the sky."
"You saw them, too?"
"And those strange mechanical men with their promises."
"I, too, have experienced this."
"You have?" Lexi blinked ever-so innocently, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear as she set her goblet of wine back on the table. She was a married woman. A happily married woman. She would never use seduction to get what she wanted... unless she was having a bit of fun with her husband. But the situation she was currently in... well, she could manipulate it a little. "Good sir, I never would have guessed that." She told him. "Please, tell me your story."
"Tell me yours." The Sheriff countered.
"Oh, but sir, you must go first."
"Why so?"
"Because..." Lexi rested her hand on his as he held a goblet. "great men always precede."
The Sheriff preened. "You have a point."
"Your story, then, my Lord." Lexi grinned at him.
"Once upon a time," He began, pushing off from where he had been leaning against the table before going and perching himself on the arm of Lexi's chair. "there was a brave and clever and handsome man..."
"I can almost picture him." Lexi sighed out, glancing up at him as he sat with her. "I don't even have to close my eyes."
The Sheriff suddenly slammed his goblet onto the table before getting up and striding over to the fireplace. "...unappreciated by his royal master."
"Prince John?" She asked as she stood from her chair, stepping towards him and away from the table.
"The very same."
"Then came the lights in the sky, and everything changed."
The Sheriff nodded as he began circling Lexi, said woman watching his every move. "The skyship came to Earth in a fury of fire."
"I would say it was almost as if it were a crash." Lexi agreed. "Oh, how I remember it well."
"A craft from the heavenly spheres, bedight with twinkling lights and miracles beyond imagining." The Sheriff stopped his circling of Lexi, now standing close behind her. "The most beautiful thing the brave and handsome man had ever seen."
Lexi turned around to face him. "And I'm assuming the mechanical men saw you as their natural leader?"
"It was I and I alone to whom the mechanical men then imparted their secrets. Shortly, I shall be the most powerful man in the realm. King in all but name, for Nottingham is not enough."
"'Tis not?"
"After this, Derby."
"Of course."
"Then... Lincoln. And after Lincoln..."
"Worksop?"
The Sheriff stabbed the table with his dagger. "The world!"
***
"And she just slipped it to you without us noticing?" The Doctor asked as he, Clara and Robin exited the dungeon.
"Well, it's not like it was difficult." Clara rolled her eyes as they ascended a set of steps. "You both were pretty well occupied, if you can call it that."
"Clever one, your wife." Robin remarked as they ascended another set of steps.
"Glorious." The Doctor and Clara glanced back at him in unison before looking ahead once more.
***
"So what are you hanging around here for, then, Your Majesty?" Lexi tilted her head, trying to cajole the Sheriff as said man brooded while leaning against the table. "Why are you bothering to squeeze pips out of peasants if you've got a skyship on standby?"
The Sheriff straightened. "Enough questions. I'm impatient to hear your story."
"Oh, but I do not have one." Lexi grinned. "I was lying."
The Sheriff blinked. "Lying?"
"Obviously." She responded, smirking as she popped a grape into her mouth. "Well, not about the great man. But that wasn't you. 'Cause, you see, the thing about people... They're so much better at sharing information if they believe you're the person who already has it."
The Sheriff tilted his his head, gazing at her. "Oh, that's very clever."
"Thank you."
"You'll do very well."
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Doesn't every king... require a consort?"
Lexi flinched when the Sheriff placed his hands on the table on either side of her and leaned in to kiss her, but she swiftly ducked out of it and placed a hand on her chest to try and calm her racing hearts. "Right." She let out a shaky breath, swallowing. "You... You do that again, and you'll regret that."
***
The Doctor, Clara and Robin climbed a stairway, the Doctor stopping when he spotted a metal door with a round window – a bright glow emanating from within.
With a look at Clara and Robin, the three then walked towards the door.
***
The Doctor beamed when they entered, seeing the long, futuristic metal room. At the far end was a large glowing sphere with two consoles. "At last – something real, no more fairytales."
Robin gawked at it all. "What is this place?"
"A spaceship." Clara responded as she walked further into the room, looking around at everything.
"More twenty-ninth century than twelfth." The Doctor pointed at her in agreement, going over to the console. "Data banks, data banks, data banks... Where was this ship headed?" He blinked when he read the monitor.
Destination: The Promised Land
"The Promised Land again..." Clara whispered in disbelief as she walked up beside the Doctor. "It's like that Half-Faced Man."
"Just more sophisticated." The Doctor nodded. "It disguised itself as a twelfth century castle," He watched as information flew across the screen. "it merges into the culture, tries to keep a low profile, so no one notices. That explains the robot knights. But the engines... The engines are damaged. They're leaking radiation into the local atmosphere, creating a temporary climate of staggering benevolence."
"Beg pardon?" Robin blinked.
"It's just as Lucas said – It's too sunny. It's too green. And there is even an evil sheriff to oppress the locals. This explains everything," He glanced at Robin. "even you."
"It does?"
"Doctor..." Clara warned, frowning.
"Well, what does every oppressed peasant workforce need?" He questioned, ignoring her. "The illusion of hope." He stated. "Some silly story to get them through the day, lull them into docility and keep them working. Ship's data banks. Full of every myth and legend you could hope for, including Robin Hood." He gestured as the story rolled across the screen, showing different illustrations and images of Robin Hood. "Isn't it time you came clean with me? You're not real, and you know it. Look at you. Perfect eyes, perfect teeth. Nobody has a jawline like that. You're as much a part of what is happening here as the Sheriff and his metal knights. You're a robot."
"You dare to accuse me of collusion with that villain, the Sheriff?" Robin scowled.
"Robin. Doctor." Clara tried to get their attention.
The Doctor stepped towards Robin. "I dare."
"You false-tongued knave!" Robin glared at him, poking him in the chest. "I should have skewered you when I had the chance!"
The Doctor snorted. "I would like to see you try." He paused when the door was blown in by lasers, "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, y–" He began to roll his eyes, only to stop abruptly when Lexi was shoved in, her arm being gripped tightly by the Sheriff. "Lex!"
"Surrender, outlaw!" The Sheriff ordered.
The Doctor narrowed his eyes. "Very good."
"Kill him." The Sheriff ordered. "Kill Robin Hood!"
"You can drop all that stuff now, Sheriff." The Doctor scoffed.
"Doctor, stop!" Clara exclaimed, stepping forward.
"He's not what you think he is. This is all play-acting."
"Is that so?"
"You're not fooling anyone, Sheriff." The Doctor scowled.
One of the robots fired at Robin, hitting the wall behind him, the concussion knocking him to the floor. Lexi took that moment to twist out of the Sheriff's grip, twisting his arm behind him. "Clara, get Robin and go!"
"What are you doing?" The Sheriff grimaced.
"What do you think?" She growled back as Clara ran and placed herself between the robot and Robin, said man already back on his feet and backing up to the blast hole.
"Sorry about this." Clara told Robin before grabbing his hand and pulling him out the hole with her.
"Clara!" The Doctor rushed over and looked down at the moat where the water rippled from Clara and Robin's splash. However, there was no other visible sign of the two.
"You know, I am sorry." The Sheriff spoke, Lexi still having his arm twisted behind his back. "You are a pretty thing, and what a queen you would have made..." He trailed off before twisting out of her grip and knocking her against the wall, the force of it knocking her unconscious. The Sheriff then turned around only to be met with a fist to the face.
The Doctor glared at the Sheriff as said man spat on the ground. "You. Do. Not. Touch. My. Wife." He growled, sparing a glance at his wife's unconscious body before looking back to the Sheriff. "That was the last straw. This ends now. Stop pretending, you and your fancy robots. I get it, I understand."
"Oh, so you, too, know my plans?"
"You and your robots plundering the surrounding countryside for all it's worth. Gold... Gold!" The Doctor snapped his fingers. "You are creating a matrix of gold to repair the engine circuitry."
"This is the scheme the Mechanicals have devised." The Sheriff confirmed. "Soon, this skyship will depart. Destination – London. There, I will obliterate the King and take my rightful place as ruler of this sceptered isle."
"It won't work." The Doctor shook his head. "There's not a chance. I've seen the instruments. There's been too much damage. You are stoking up a gigantic bomb!"
"Shush." The Sheriff put a finger to his lips, then pointed.
The Doctor frowned and turned – only to be met with a hard robot hit to his head, knocking him out.
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