They were upset with us. I mean, I knew they'd be. We just decided that COE is more important to us than our own parents.
My dad's large, dark hands looked ready to strangle the life out of me the moment I was allowed to see my them. My mom, however, had tears dripping off her pale skin. My parents were exact opposites, so at least the atmosphere was neutral.
But even then, my brother and I were scared to death by the emotions rolling off them. I felt so bad, and I was upset too, but, I honestly didn't want to leave.
Mom had managed to bring Silhouette his knife collection, which was probably the biggest mistake in the world, considering what happened earlier that day with Moses and Evelyn. He was grateful, and stole our mom away to talk with her while I was left to suffer the wrath of my dad.
Emrya has been apologizing to her brother like her life depended on it, and hugging him so tight I was sure he was gonna explode.
Sapphire ended up getting into a heated argument with her father. In fact, it got so out of hand, that we were told to leave the area and let them have a private conversation.
I don't really know about everyone else, but it was hard telling Emily 'goodbye'. We made sure that she knew she wasn't going to remember a thing once she left, and Evelyn had gotten especially mad when Emily already knew.
"You're really that willing to just throw away the memories we made here?"
"I was willing to leave the moment Shadeye and Sapphire ended up in the hospital."
It hurt, really. And when I woke up the next morning and went to Cafeteria One, I felt anxious to see her face again. But now that I knew I was staying here for the rest of my life, I wanted to find out more about this place.
Were there more species of dragons? Or was it just the Gonons? How come they haven't left Kansas to spread their population? Why haven't I seen or ever heard of them?
Why were there so few adults here? I've barely met anyone above the age of twenty— why is that? Are people allowed to leave after a few years of being here?
And how is it that Lily can use more than one element? Is it because she's older than most other people I've met? Did you have to be a certain age? Meet a list of requirements?
Breakfast was quiet in the cafeteria, for once, and it felt really, really awkward. In fact, the atmosphere felt a lot more tense than yesterday's. Not even I could break this, even if I teamed up with Sil.
So my friends and I left early, wandering through the Center of Earth with nothing to do. We made small talk, and I was ridiculed for not shaving. 'Not the type of guy to grow a beard,' they said. Screw them, too. Geez.
"We should have a contest," Emrya suggested.
"Like what?"
"I dunno. See who's strongest?" She responds.
Evelyn grumbles, "It's against the rules to use our power on each other."
"Yeah, I doubt that's still a rule." I mumble right back, grasping my scarred ear.
"I wouldn't really want to fight anyways," Evelyn sighs, "and I don't want any of you guys getting hurt."
Aw, Evelyn. Always had a heart for others. But I had to admit, fighting right now doesn't seem like the best option right now after the whole thing from yesterday. A couple of us were still slightly shaken.
We eventually got into a conversation about Emrya and Calvin, and how disappointed she was that her boyfriend would never be able to meet her parents. Evelyn reassured her though, admitting that Moses managed to avoid meeting her parents as well. Just mentioning that fact, however, seemed to enrage my brother. He immediately grabs onto her wrist and starts marching off in the opposite direction, making the rest of the group stop and stare after them in shock.
"Wh-what are you—?"
"You said we could talk later. Now is later."
And as if on cue, Moses appears as rods of metal break through the air and practically open up a portal for him to step through. He pays no mind to his girlfriend being dragged away, and instead looks to me with an intense gaze. All I can say is that, yes, I felt intimidated, and I was afraid he was mistaking me for my brother.
But he grabs my wrist, and he's yanking me through the opened Metal-portal thing. "We need to talk."
The heck? What's with these parallels?
I'm suddenly standing in my brother's room, dimly lit with the window shut. I've only been here like, twice? Maybe? The past couple times I did visit him in his room, the place was nice and neat and straightened— and yet, looking at it now, it's like a rabid animal went insane in here. Things were on the floor, his blanket was torn in half- the other half folded neatly in the center of the room, with tiny red splotches: God, that better not be blood. Above the blanket, on the ceiling, there was a hook hanging there, and from the center of the ceiling, cracks formed black rivers across his walls. There were metal rods in the carpeted floor, and his entire knife collection was sprayed everywhere in different directions, but protruding from the walls. His dresser was devoid of drawers, and there was a red hand print on the top of it.
Does he plan on painting his room?
"The heck happened?" I ask, stare staring wildly at the mess around me. Moses allows me to take it all in for a few seconds, before finally giving me an answer.
"Shadeye, your brother tried to kill himself."
...
"What?"
No.
No way.
The hell is he talking about?
How would he know?
My heart feels caught up in my throat, and it's suddenly hard to swallow down rising bile. Goosebumps break out across my skin, and I shudder.
My brother wouldn't...
He isn't...
"He managed to get his hands on some rope that I assume he found in a supply closet of a nearby Hospital. I wouldn't have been able to save him if his element hadn't caught my attention— it had gone haywire in response to his lack of oxygen, as you can see." Moses gestures to the metal rods in the carpet.
My brother tried to hang himself.
Silhouette wanted to die.
Why?
"It happened before the ceremony." Moses keeps talking, "It was that morning- around seven, I believe."
I could feel color draining my face. He was so... quiet.. that day...
What kind of sibling was I if I couldn't even notice my own twin was depressed? I didn't even ask if he was okay that day. I just... I just assumed that... that's just how he was.
I was trembling.
God, no, I was shaking.
Why didn't he talk to me? Why didn't he say anything about it? I was his brother for God's sake, why didn't he at least try to convey something to me?
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" I demand, my gaze resting on his. My brows were furrowed, and suddenly I'm more angry than anything. My nose wrinkles at the bridge and my nostrils flare as I attempt to control my now heavy breathing.
He tried to end his life.
Here.
In his own room.
Without talking to anybody? Not even leaving a note. Nothing? Is he that selfish?
"He made me swear not to say a word of it." Moses explained, "I wanted to wait until he was no longer so fixated on nearly ending his life."
He lets my internal anger rage on for a little longer, and I feel like I'm fighting myself. I couldn't just get mad at Moses for doing my brother a favor. At least he told me at some point.
"I've—.. I've tried creating several distractions for him. To keep his mind on other things."
I was in shock from both realizing what he meant, and how quickly I figured it out. My eyes widen for a moment, but in the next second, I'm glaring at him again.
"That's why you asked Evelyn out?!"
"One of the reasons," he corrects, "I really do care for her, and I would have preferred to have asked her at a later time, but I could see Silhouette was thinking about it again."
My head was throbbing . I press my palms to either side of my aching head. "I-I dont— I don't understand. He's gonna kill you. A-and... You already know he hates you—"
"I confess, I don't like him much, but I don't resent him the way he does. And I wasn't about to just let him try it again after..."
Im pulling at my hair.
"I swear, if you're joking about this—"
"I'm not."
"What do you expect me to do now?" I ask. I honestly don't know. Talk to him? No, Silhouette would literally murder Moses.
"Keep an eye on him." Moses murmurs, his voice low. "He hasn't been acting like himself, lately. And I'm not just talking about him being depressed. He's.. he's suspicious."
Okay.
Okay, that's easy enough.
That didn't require much talking. I want to talk with him, I do. But I don't want Silhouette lashing out at anybody when they're just trying to help him. I can't have death on my hands— Jesus Christ. He tried to die the day Ray found Natalie.
My stomach becomes a labyrinth of knots, and my chest is aching like it's on fire. I had a really, really bad feeling that these situations were somehow connected, and it was making me sick. I thought hard about what Ray had told me: that he suspected my brother as the murderer. But what could he have had against Natalie that brought him to kill her? And then to kill himself?
No. Thats doesn't make sense. And Silhouette wouldn't do that. Maybe he knew what happened. Maybe the murderer caught him, and did something to him that made him want to suicide.
Yeah.
Yeah, that had to be it.
"I... I want to get back to my friends." I mumble. "Moses, thanks. For telling me. Really."
I didn't know what else to say. But Moses understood, and I hated, hated how calm he was, but I also wished I was just as stabilized. I felt so unbalanced now, mixed emotions creating whirlpools around my stomach. I wanted to yell at my brother, but I also wanted to hug him.
Silhouette hates hugs.
Moses brings me back to the Main Group, and I don't question how he was able to locate them. I just smile, and put on an act.
"Moses just wanted to apologize to you, via me." I tell Silhouette, and try to joke around. "He promises no harm to Evelyn."
But with the look he was giving me after Moses vanished, I had a twisted feeling that he had already figured it out.