"Losing you," I said, a crack in my voice as my eyes were stung by tears "yeah, losing you was by the worst thing to ever happen to me." I forced a chuckle, my eyes glued on the headstone that haunted my nightmares for months.
Sherlock Holmes
I picked the petals off the white roses someone gave him, strewing them over his grave. I wonder if he felt it, the weight of the rose petals. I did. They weighed so much in my hand. It's funny how something so beautiful, can be so painful. I hate roses, they're so pure and so innocent. They mock me with their smiles and their promises of eternal love,
Eternal Life
I wonder if he ever dreamed of me or if the dirt in his eyes gave him restless nights. If the worms in his ears kept him up. I never wanted to bury him. I didn't want him to feed maggots. Fatten them up. But... the choice wasn't mine. In his will; he specified that he would rather be buried than cremated. Cremation wasn't his style I guess. It wasn't... Sherlock. It's the all the things Sherlock,
Isn't
I left him flowers. Peonies. His favourite. I don't remember how I came to know this. A case maybe. A leaked fact. Something he said in the rare moments of sleep. They looked happy sitting there in front of the polished granite. They looked calm. Serene almost. I tried smiling for him, but... I was lying through my teeth. Peace wasn't real, it wasn't
Attainable
I saw him in the mirrors and the glass and the cab windows and in everyone's faces. I saw him long coats. In cigarettes. In quick remarks. In cold days. In police sirens. In milk and fridges. I saw Sherlock in myself. In my eyes. In my lips. In my hands. In all the things he adored. Sherlock... I don't know how to get
Through
And then... a ghost appeared. He looked so real. So human. He was a walking corpse. A memory I tried to get rid of, a song I tried to forget. I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I tried to kill you. But I just... I couldn't forgive you for what you had done. You made me believe that you were gone. You were left to time, floating around in space somewhere. I cried over you, I died. But I guess I was a fool, to fall for your
Pretty Lies