Chapter twenty five: Let it burn
Margo couldn't return the overly fake smile that had been plastered on by the airport's staff. With just carry on, she didn't have to go through the whole commotion of being afraid of her luggage being lost, even though the bag consisted of the clothes she wore over the course of the best and worst week of her life. So if it got lost, it would be one less weight for her to carry, considering the weight of the world rested on her shoulders.
With her head held high, she strode through the airport security and made her way through the bustling crowd. There were families who were hyping each other up, ready to go on a huge holiday and Margo wished she had that type unit to call home. Then again, she could only smile. The memories she made within seven days would last forever and she would almost bet her two million that they weren't going to have as much adventure and excitement as she did.
The unwanted itch for a cigarette, almost like a scratch on her skin and eventually, she'd pick and pick at it until the scab reopened to form a wound. That was pretty much the way she described her addictions. She still depended on alcohol but smoking was more accessible and socially acceptable depending on the time of day. Even if she did care about what other people thought, she'd still drink all day every day but she had bills to pay. Had being the key word, because now, she was a millionaire without a care in the world.
People were beginning to make her skin crawl. With each shove and the brushing of shoulders as they struggled to catch up with their connecting flight, all she wanted was a cigarette. To puff on the relaxing nicotine felt better than downing bottle and bottles of wine. She hated the sadness that followed after a glass and she wanted to feel something rather than being completely numb.
She entered the duty free shop and was amazed to see massive packs of cigarettes that held at least twenty smaller packets inside. She carried two over to the cashier who simply scanned it, she handed the money and put the packets in her luggage.
"Where can I go to smoke?"
"You can't." The cashier breathed a laugh, looking at her as though she had two heads. "You can't smoke inside of an airport. Have you even been to one?"
Margo scoffed and glared to the man with disgust. "Are you fucking kidding me? I just bought forty dollars worth of bloody cigarettes and you're telling me I can't even smoke them?"
"Just following the rules, lady."
"Fuck you and fuck your rules." She spat and exited the shop, leaving the employee unfazed.
With a grunt, she hauled her bag to the gate which was closing in ten minutes. She thought for a second that the cashier would be lying. She was quite rude and if somebody spoke to her with that attitude, not only would she backhand them til next week but she would refuse service. There was bound to be an outpost for her to indulge in the nicotine so now, she was on her way to find innocent strangers to pry about smoking huts.
She walked to the seating area. When a woman turned round, she tutted upon seeing the dishevelled features of the younger girl.
"Excuse me." She began with a false smile. "Can you tell me where the smoking area is?"
Gasping, the woman eyed her up and down and with Margo's rugged appearance, she supposed she was an alcoholic of some sorts. "Dear, you need to get help. You're going to ruin your body if you keep smoking!"
"Who gives a fuck about lungs anyway?" Margo snorted. "Listen, can't you just answer the question? I need to be at my gate within eight minutes. I really need a cigarette."
When the woman got up and walked away, Margo's features hardened and she scoffed, folding her arms and clicking her tongue in distaste. She wondered how people could be so rude. Did they not know what she's capable of?"
Talking to herself, she muttered. "Why can't people just answer fucking questions?"
"She's right, you know."
Margo whipped around and the familiar voice of William. He stood with his back straight, his head held high and a smile played on his lips upon watching her expression soften. With a hat on his head, frontwards, he was nothing like Benny who always wore his backwards with a narcissistic smirk. His arms were tense but they were strong and Margo suddenly remembered how hard he worked to gain muscular masculinity. In other words, he looked perfect and Margo was breathless for numerous reasons.
"Why are you here?" Margo was confused. "Where's Ben?"
"At the hotel." He was a little bit hurt that she'd immediately jumped ship to Ben but he continued. "I just-I don't know why I'm here. I guess I just need to tell you I'm sorry for walking away. You're right and you know what? I am happy for you. Ben loves you and you deserve each other."
She didn't smile and arrogantly, she couldn't help but want his constant need to change her mind. "What happened to fighting for me?"
"Do you want me to fight for you?"
Margo couldn't respond. Her eyes were fire in water, as though that were possible. With the passion now overshadowing the flames in her rage-filled lenses, William swallowed a lump that formed in his throat and he quickly learned that her feelings for him never changed no matter how long they were apart. After all, he was her first love and he'd always have a special place in her heart.
"Margo." William sighed, his brows in knots and his stomach in twists. "This is wrong. He's my brother and no matter how much I want to strangle him at times, I can't hurt him the way he hurt me. Not like this."
The cloud of hope soon diffused, bubbling guilt instead. "You think I wanna hurt him too? I know this is wrong but I can't help the way I feel. It's not something that I can get over in two seconds!"
"But you an get engaged in two seconds? You left and came back for the money, not for love. And now, all of a sudden, after being with Benny for what, a day? You're planning on getting married? What else am I supposed to do? I have to let go."
With his volcanic eruption of love, it was hard for her not to be swept under the surface and become scorched. "I have four minutes. You tell me what I'm supposed to do."
"You ain't even gonna address what I said?"
"No." She spoke truthfully with sorrowful eyes. "I know it's far too soon and yeah, I did come back for the money. But you should know that I accepted his proposal because-"
"Because you had to? He put you under pressure and-"
Margo cut him off just as quick as he did to her. "I accepted his proposal because I wanted to."
"So you accepted it even though you don't love him and you're unsure of your feelings for me?" He scoffed and looked to the timer ticking on the clock above. "I figured as much. You're selfish as fuck."
She was taken aback by his honesty but he wasn't wrong. "If I'm so selfish then why the fuck do you still love me?"
"Because I'm selfish too." He sneered with anger directed at himself. "Imagine falling for your brother's girl."
Margo sighed with emotional pain. "Is it really like that? Or is it finishing what you've started?"
Glancing back to the board, she had two minutes left and she looked back to him with a sense of unimaginable detachment. Nothing else needed to be said but when they met in the middle, embracing one another as though they'd never see each other again, it was clear that she was worth the fight and they hated themselves for being so cruel to a man so kind.
When his lips brushed against hers, the battle within of pure and impure thoughts, it was wrong but he craved it. He wanted her more than anything else in the world and should his brother really be in the way of that? Rings were just a circle but bonds were eternal and connected the souls forever, so could a diamond separate their love affair any longer?
Every fibre in her being told her to close the gap but she could only feel as though the air in her lungs had been sucked out and replaced with venom to remind her that if she sealed the deal, it would only make her worse than William, and so after a moment of contemplating, the same way he did, they reluctantly pulled back and without looking back, she walked to her gate, leaving William standing behind her, watching every move she made with misery.
The woman who hadn't given Margo a cigarette earlier had been watching the entire thing and she walked over to William and placed her hand on his shoulder. She'd been without her husband for three years but she vividly remembered how it felt to watch him leave, and so, she understood the man's pain.
"Is that your girlfriend?"
"No."