fifteen: coke girl
los angeles, 1990's
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ROSY HAD A SMIRK glued on her face as fourthgrade rested his clothed arm around her waist. the two listened to fuckshit's bitching with laughs begging to be released. "my mom and dad are fucking f*****s." he groaned out making rosy giggle.
"shit, i can't wait till i can get a car and my shit forsure not getting taken away like i'm a little bitch." ray said as he rested his head on the cushions of the bus seat. fuckshit rolled his eyes as ruben muttered, "i'm about to fuck all these bitches!" which made rosy laugh.
"n****, shut the fuck up! you ain't fucking nothing." he said making everyone else erupt in laughter. "honestly, i'll be surprised if any of ya'll, expect fourthgrade." fuckshit said, pausing as he eyed rosy and fourthgrade with a suggestive smirk on his face, "get pussy tonight." he concluded with a smile on his face.
everyone just laughed at his words before he spoke again, "hey put y'all hands out." he instructed. everyone looked at each other with furrowed eyebrows but did as told. he placed a yellow pill in everyone's hand making ray scoff, "ay, why you giving shit to these little n****s?" he asked making fuckshit roll his eyes.
"they big boys and girls, they can do whatever they want." fuckshit said making ray shrug. "i guess you right." he said as he eyed his pill before throwing it back at fuckshit with a pissed off expression on his face.
"dumbass." he spat as he leaned back against his seat making fuckshit glare at him with a blank expression. rosy swallowed the pill which earned protests from ray, "ay ay, you just got out of the hospital." he said making the girl shrug. "i know." she said.
ray shook his head before he spoke again, "you just got out of the hospital for overdosing." he continued making rosy scoff. "your point is?" she asked making him roll his eyes before he muttered, "nevermind."
fourthgrade had an uneasy expression on his face as he spoke, "yea maybe you should take it easy rosy." he said making the girl roll her eyes as she turned around in her seat to glare at him. "did you swallow the pill?" she asked making him furrow his eyebrows.
"what?" he asked.
"the pill, did you swallow it?" she asked again. "yea," fourthgrade sheepishly admitted. "then don't tell me shit about taking it easy." she spat out before she turned back around in her seat.
fourthgrade sighed as stevie spoke, "what is this? is this dangerous?" he asked in attempts to cut the tension. "my mom toke me to the psychiatrist and this bitch said i have a.d.d, so they gave me these." he explained as he shook the pill bottle so the teens could hear the pills inside hitting the small container.
"are these like... bad for you?" stevie asked as he flipped the pill over and observed it. "dude, if a fucking doctor gave it to you, how can it possibly be bad for you?" he asked making ray roll his eyes as he watched stevie put the pill in his mouth and swallow it.
when the bus slowed to a stop rosy was the first off, shoving other people out of the way so she could exit the bus that was filled with tension. she walked up the yard of the house before muttering, "who's house is this again?"
"estee." fuckshit said making rosy roll her eyes. "great." she sarcastically said. she didn't have a problem with estee nor did estee have a problem with her, she just really didn't wanna hear the girl tell her how pretty she was for the whole night, something estee constantly did. the six walked into the house, greeting everyone with awkward smiles before they made sanctuary in the backyard of her house where they rode their skateboards.
rosy watched everyone skate with a defeated expression on her face as she sat on her board, her head rested in her hands. ruben collapsed next to her with raised eyebrows, "you good rose?" rose, a new nickname to add to the already long list. rosy placed a fake smile on her lips as she spoke, "i'm all good ruby, you good?" she asked. ruben placed a smile on his face as he looked around at all his happy friends, "yea, i'm good."
before either teen could say another word to one another fuckshit interrupted them by speaking, "so, who boutta take one for the team and go grab us some beers?" he asked as his eyes immediately darted to rosy. rosy scoffed as she shook her head, "don't ask me, i'm staying right here." she said as she pointed to her spot on her skateboard.
fuckshit scoffed as he glared at the girl, "c'mon don't be a little bitch". he said making fourthgrade roll his eyes.
"she said no fuckshit," he said making fuckshit mutter incoherent cuss words under his breath. "fuck it, i'll go get it then." he finally said as he shoved past his friends to get inside the house. everyone stayed quiet as they waited for fuckshit to come back outside, ruben stood from his spot next to rosy and began skating again, giving fourthgrade an opportunity to swoop in and take his spot.
"you okay?" he asked her as he gently placed his hand on top of hers. rosy smiled at the boy, thankful for him as she spoke again, "i'm okay baby, trust me." she said. fourthgrade just continued to stare at his girlfriend with a worried expression on his face before finally he gave up and just continued to skate again.
fuckshit returned seconds later, his hand full of beer bottles as he yelled towards the group, "i got the goods!" he threw a beer at each teen except for ray who refused. the group didn't hesitate to down the bottles and continue until they couldn't anymore. "i'm gonna go inside and fuck some bitches," fuckshit said making everyone laugh. a tipsy rosy just smiled at his drunken state as she finally stood from her board. "you coming rosy?" they asked the girl who was on the other side of the yard as they waited for her by the screen door.
"uh yea, i-i'll be in a sec." she said. the boys all just smiled at her and disappeared inside the house. a second turned into an hour as rosy laid on the lawn, her head resting on her board as she looked up at the stars, lost in her thoughts about everything that had occurred over the past few days.
she didn't know what was wrong with her, all she knew for-sure was that she didn't have any motivation to do anything after the overdosing. life just felt so dull and a part of her, even though she would never admit, wished she would've died instead. she had always heard people say how after they almost died it gave them a sudden longing to live, but it wasn't the same for her.
the side of the screen door opening again snapped her out of her gaze as her eyes flickered over to the figure walking towards her. the scrawny boy had a smile on his face and two more beers in his hands as he waved them in front of her face, making her laugh.
"so, are you gonna tell me what's really wrong?" fourthgrade asked as he collapsed next to her on the lawn. rosy turned to her side and let a genuine smile spread across her face as she locked eyes with the boy.
"i'm okay," she said as she flipped back over and continued to stare at the stars. fourthgrade sighed before he pulled her into his chest, making both of their breathes hitch. they still managed to get nervous around one another. "please, just tell me." he begged, it was always so hard to get the girl to open up to him.
"i don't want to burden you." she admitted making the boy furrow his eyebrows, "i know this isn't the best time, but what does burden mean?" he asked making the girl erupt in giggles. fourthgrade looked down in embarrassment and when rosy noticed she quickly reassured him, "no baby, you don't have to be embarrassed. it's a big word. trust me." she said as she made him look up at her by placing both her hands on the side of his face. when he still didn't say anything she placed a soft kiss on his lips, making him smile.
"it's kinda like, something someone tells you, usually personal that makes you worry or stress too much to the point where the other person feels like they're bothering you for making you stress that much. that's the best way i can describe it." she added. fourthgrade quickly furrowed his eyebrows at her words, "you're not a burden rosy, to any of us. if you were a burden you wouldn't be my girlfriend." he admitted making the girl's cheeks heat up.
"i'm your girlfriend?" she asked, a proud smile on her face. fourthgrade's cheeks instantly turned pink at her words, "i-um, i thought you were? sorry i just assumed and-" he said before she cut him off by placing a kiss on her lips. she pulled away and rested her head on his with a smile on her face, "it's okay, don't apologize."
fourthgrade placed a hand on her cheek as he moved her hair out of her face with the other, "you're really pretty." he admitted as he admired her making her blush. "you're really cute too." she said, making him turn even redder. rosy rested her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her waist.
"you still didn't tell me what's wrong." he whispered into her ear making her roll her eyes as she playfully slapped his chest, "you're not gonna give up, huh?" she asked. fourthgrade just shrugged as he looked at her,
"not until you tell me."
rosy was thankful for him, thankful for all of them. she had finally found a family that cared about her. her eyes drifted down to the grass as she pulled some pieces out, her head full of thoughts. "i don't know. if i'm being honest ever since everything happened i just feel kinda, empty." she admitted with a shrug.
"what do you mean?" fourthgrade asked as he looked at the girl with concern in her eyes. "like i almost died right? and usually when you hear people talk about the times they almost died they always talk about how after they felt a sudden rush and were happy for another chance! happy to not be dead! but i don't feel that at all. i just feel worse." she admitted.
when fourthgrade didn't speak rosy slowly looked up from the grass to his light blue eyes that were staring back at her. "you don't wanna die though, r-right?" his voice barley above a whisper as it cracked. tears were evident in his eyes as the fear of possibly losing her again came rushing back. "i want to be with you. regardless of whether i'm alive or dead i wanna stay with you. i'm not leaving or going to die, okay?" she said. fourthgrade let himself relax as he placed a small smile on his face, "okay." he said before he kissed her, rosy didn't hesitate to kiss him back.
after a few minutes the two pulled away and stood up, wiping off their jeans that had stains from the wet grass all over them. hand in hand they walked back into the house where everyone was but estee and stevie. rosy furrowed her eyebrows before letting a smirk settle on her face as she whispered into fuckshit's ear, "are they fucking?" the boy nodded his head with a proud smile on his face making the girl erupt in giggles.
suddenly loud whispering coming from the corner of the room made the smile disappear from rosy's lips as she turned towards where the noise was coming from. her eyes locked onto a group of girls, her age who quickly fell silent and looked away when the girl noticed them. rosy rolled her eyes and tried to ignore it but when the hushed whispering started up again she couldn't help but say something,
"are you talking shit?" rosy straight up asked them, startling the girl's as they looked between each other with wide eyes. her words caught the attention of all her friends as they anxiously looked at her. "no," one girl awkwardly said making rosy roll her eyes.
"i'm not a fucking dumbass." rosy spat out as she crossed her arms over her chest. "i mean clearly you are if you overdosed on coke." one girl said from behind her friends. she shoved through her friends to get to the front of the group as rosy looked at her with raised eyebrows. "ooooo," fuckshit whispered out making ray and ruben both roughly hit him. "what?" he whispered out but before he could say anything rosy harshly shoved herself out of fourthgrade's tight grip and towards the girl.
the girl didn't step back when rosy was inches away from her and instead stood her ground. "so you are talking shit then?" she asked. the girl shrugged with a smirk on her face, "yea, we were wondering if you were the coke girl but clearly by your response you are." she said making rosy rock on her heels as she bit her lip to stop herself from lunging at the girl.
"see you don't know me and i don't know you, but all i'm gonna say is keep my name out of your fucking mouth." rosy spat before she turned around to walk back to fourthgrade. she suddenly froze in place at the girl's words, "or what, you're gonna overdose on coke again?"
rosy had two options, walk away and be the bigger person, or beat the shit out of the girl. she chose option two.
rosy lunged after the girl and knocked them both to the floor. before anyone could stop them rosy's fist connected with her cheek and she just kept punching. "rosy!" fourthgrade screamed out in shock as he watched his girlfriend beat the shit out of the girl. none of the guys knew if they should break the fight up yet so instead they just watched and cheered their friend on on.
the girl flipped them so now she was on top of rosy, punching her but it wasn't long before rosy got back on top. rosy kept punching until the girl was bleeding, her knuckles were numb, and estee came downstairs screaming at the top of her lungs, "what the fuck!" the girl exclaimed as she watched the chaos unfold in her dining room.
rosy's fist harshly connected with the girls cheek once more before she finally got off her. she looked down at the girl before spitting on her and glaring at her in disgust, "like i said before, keep my name out of your fucking mouth or else it'll be the last time you'll fucking speak." she spat with venom laced in her words. the girl grabbed her skateboard from the living room of the house and harshly threw the front door open and left, skating down the street as she did so. her friends didn't hesitate to chase after her.
"holy shit, i didn't know you could fight!" ruben said with a proud smile on his face as he skated next to her. "yea, martinez got hands!" fuckshit exclaimed making everyone laugh. "shit, i didn't know i could fight either." the girl admitted as she wiped the blood that fell from her nose on her shirt.
"that doesn't matter though, what matters is that my boy finally got some pussy right!" rosy exclaimed as she looked at stevie who blushed.
"kinda of, she put two of my fingers in her vagina." he said with a sheepish smile making everyone gasp. everyone erupted in laughter as stevie exclaimed, "it's so much warmer than i thought!" making them laugh more.
"what else happened?" fuckshit asked as he turned on his board to avoid getting hit by an oncoming car. "she was like touching my dick, it was crazy!" he exclaimed making everyone laugh harder as they skated along side one another. "i want that to happen more." he admitted making fuckshit smirk, "it will, trust me." fuckshit said.
the group continued to talk about their eventful night up until they reached stevie's house where he said his goodbyes and disappeared into the backyard. ruben was the next one to get home, followed by fuckshit, ray, and finally fourthgrade and rosy.
"you staying the night i assume?" she asked as she unlocked the shop door and walked in. "uh huh." he said as he placed kisses up and down her neck, leading them over to the couch to finish what they had started earlier.
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-roseissues