"Aren't you coming to lunch?" Jaelyn asked over her shoulder.
She was already half way to the door. I was fucking exhausted. My eyes felt heavy, my right arm felt like jello, my pain was increasing and I honestly wasn't sure I would make it the rest of the day.
"Go ahead without me." I told her. "I'll be down in a few."
She took the few steps toward me, her eyes full of pity like maybe she knew I felt like shit.
"Are you sure babe?"
"Yeah. I'm sure." I gave her a small smile.
She bent down, planting a kiss on my forehead before she left. The act made me feel more like a child than her boyfriend. I tipped my head back, closing my eyes. I could fall asleep right there. I wondered if the teacher would mind.
"Tired?" A voice asked.
I cracked my eyes, peering over at Matt, no Mike. That still didn't sound right. Mack, maybe?
"What's your name again?" I asked, ignoring his question and how rude I probably sounded.
"Max." He smiled at me, his brown hair meticulously combed back with some sort of product.
I laughed through my nose, the guy who had a crush on me supposedly. "Max, right. Sorry."
"No problem."
We were the only two left in the classroom.
"I'm fucking exhausted man." I admitted.
"I've got some friends that hang out in the drama room at lunch. There's a couch. I'd bet they wouldn't care if you wanted to chill." He offered.
A couch sounded amazing. He seemed genuine enough. But I couldn't figure out why he was being genuine, why he was even offering. Hell, I didn't even remember the kid's name.
Every part of my body was screaming for me to accept his offer.
"Nah, but thanks." I told him.
"Suit yourself."
He stood from where he sat, a couple tables over, watching me for a few seconds. I held his gaze even though it was awkward. I wasn't about to show anyone that I'd loss my confidence and my self worth. As soon as someone figured it out, I'd be toast. Max headed for the door, turning around just before he disappeared out of it as he said, "See ya around Owen."
Funny. I'd already heard those exact same words today. From Mina.
I had thought about pulling the little pink piece of paper from my hoodie pocket out on more than one occasion today. But my pride stopped me each time. Plus I couldn't figure out why she agreed to help me when she so clearly hated me for no reason. She could have just blown Jase off. And I still couldn't figure out how she was in high school but an intern. It all didn't make sense to me. And at the current moment I was too tired to give a shit.
I pulled my phone from my pocket and called Nan.
"Hello Love." She chirped in the phone. "How's your first day going?"
"Will you come get me?" I asked.
"Of course baby, we'll be right there."
Nan was the best.
I told her thanks as she yelled out for my Pops before hanging up the phone. I rolled myself back from the table, slowly making my way out of the classroom, down the hall, to the elevator to the main floor, and then down another hallway to the office. It took way longer than it should have but my right arm was weak as fuck.
I was over today.
———————
I fell asleep on the ride home, waking up long enough to get in the house before I was back asleep in the comfort of my bed. Nan had the curtains drawn tight, blocking out all the winter sunlight trying to find its way in. The house quiet, allowing me to drift in and out of sleep on my own.
I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to fully wake up either. But someone was blowing up my phone.
I groped for it blindly in the dark. My fingers finding it as I clicked the screen on, blinding myself.
Beautiful: did you leave?
Alec: dude where are you?
Alec: Pink said he saw you at the office
Alec: everything okay?
I left Jaelyn's text unread. I'd get to it eventually. Instead I opened up Alec's, knowing if I didn't give him a response he'd keep texting.
Me: I went home
Alec: why?
Me: tired
Alec: are you coming back tomorrow?
Me: I don't have a choice
Alec: Want me to show up early? Help you get to class or something?
Me: I'm good
Me: thanks
Alec: lmk if you change your mind
I didn't respond. No matter how hard I struggled I refused to ask for help at school. From anyone.
I tossed my phone down by my side, letting my eyes close again. At some point I had decided to just sleep the day away. It wasn't like there was much else for me to do. I was just about to drift off again when Nan knocked on the door.
"We need to get you up and fed before Jase gets here to take you to therapy." She told me.
"I'm not hungry and I'm not going today." I told her from the lump of covers that were piled around me.
"You have to eat and yes you are."
I was instantly agitated. I was sick of doing everything everyone said. For once I wanted to do what I wanted to do. And right now that was sleep. I wanted to fucking sleep until I was so sick of sleep I couldn't stand it. I just wanted to be alone, in the dark, everything quiet and still where I could almost forget my life.
"I'm not fucking going." I barked at her.
"Owen Nikolas!" She scolded. "You don't speak to me that way. Now knock it off."
I clenched my jaw, listening to her as she huffed into my room and flicked the light on beside my bed.
"Time to go." Her words were clipped.
I knew Nan wouldn't be giving in just by those three words. It was the tone of her voice and the way her arms were folded across her chest and the stern look on her face. I'd lost the battle and it hadn't really started.
"I'm not going." I repeated, leaving out the cuss word.
"Yes you are young man. You will get up, you will eat and you will go to therapy where you will try with a smile on your face. Don't make me call your Pops in here to help me." She threatened.
"I don't feel good." One last ditch effort to get her to let me skip.
"You'll feel better after you eat."
"Come on Nan please." I begged. "I'm still tired."
"You can come home and go straight to bed then after. But you will go." Her hands were on her hips, her mouth drawn into a tight line as she stared at me.
I wasn't going to win.
Not this time.
"Fine." I grumbled. "Let's get this over with then."
———————
Happy Easter everyone!!!