Its been exactly six days since the last time I've seen or even talked to him. He is even avoiding me at school, like things don't have to go so far over something so small. I told everyone that I don't care and that this situation doesn't bother me. Jay said I shouldn't care anymore if Rade couldn't respect our decision. Yet, as much as I wish to deceive myself any longer, I know that the distance between us is literally killing me. I've never been so physically and mentally drained in my life. I've never cried so much over someone's absence besides my parents. It feels like a new wound has carved itself into my heart. So I have been drowning in my own tears all week after school. Now that it is the weekend, I planned to stayed in bed 24/7.
"Ty get your fat ass up now." I heard Cherry call out. I moaned into my pillow. God why don't you have any mercy on my soul? If she is here, then I know that the whole crew is here except for that one person. My heart breaks a bit more knowing that.
"Fuck off." I grunted at her. Why can't anyone allow me to sulk in peace?
"You're acting like a child." Daniel said with a snicker.
"Okay, let me be." I retorted becoming even more irritated.
"It's been a few days and she is acting like someone has died." Chris said and at that moment I snapped.
"I swear to God, I will get up and beat all of you guys asses!" I screamed as I shot up from my covers and gave them my most intense death glare. They all just laughed at my fury. Suddenly Camren ran into the room giving me an apologetic expression. She turned towards the three bullies.
"I called you guys over here to help her, not fight her. I'm sorry Ty." She said with a lowered head. Guilt took over. They were just trying to be here for me. I sighed.
"It's cool. I haven't been myself guys. Sorry." I said rubbing my eyes.
"Girl you good. Now get dressed, we are going out." Cherry said with a large grin. This scared me. Cherry type of fun always involves something illegal.
"Jay wanted me-"
"Nope. Fuck dude. Reschedule. Cancel. Do what you gotta do because you are leaving with us." Cherry said determined.
"But-" I began only to be cut off by Daniel this time.
"No butts.........unless we are talking about your butt." My face instantly became heated.
"Ewwww you guys are into anal." Chris said looking around the room horrified.
"I mean if Ty is down then I am." Daniel said with a wink.
"Oh, I wanna join." Cherry piped in with excitement.
"GET OUT YOU NASTY DISTURBING PERVERTS!" I screeched as I swatted everyone out the room with a pillow except for Camren. I closed and locked my door. I turned around and saw Camren already rummaging through my closet.
"I know your not girly but we are partying tonight." She squealed as she began to pull out multiple dresses. I sighed as I flopped back onto my bed.
"Honestly I could care less." I whispered.
*********
Soon we stood in front of Conner Jackson house. He always threw wild ass parties that always included booze, weed, and sex. Which is very wrong and illegal for minors such as ourselves to have any involvement in. I kept thinking to myself, I should have stayed the fuck home.
Once we made it inside the enormous house, I found a corner and stayed there staring off into space.
"Oh my God, Ty cheer up. Come dance with us." Cherry wined bumping into me. I rolled my eyes.
"This is not my type of scenery." I groaned.
"We just want you to loosen up. Fuck the consequences. You looking fine as fuck tonight. I'm looking fine as fuck tonight. Let's just get fucked up. And if you get too fucked up, we got ya." Chris said with a wink as he passed me a cup with some unknown liquid in it. I sighed.
"I guess I do need some alcohol encouragement if I'm going to be dancing." I said and they all gave me such happy smiles.
And that's exactly what we did. We got a little drunk and began to dance. Quite naturally Cherry and Daniel began to dry hump each other. Camren shyly began to dance closer to Chris causing him to hide a smile as he pulled her closer. The blush that stained her cheeks was undeniably adorable. I, on the other hand, had no issue with dancing alone. I just let loose. Suddenly I felt strong arms wrapped around my waist pulling me closer to their hard body. We began to grind on each other and soon it became very intense. So intense that the guy stopped all my movements completely leaving me confused. Was I being too aggressive? Did he not like how things was going?
Suddenly he tighten his grip on my waist and pulled me closer until I felt a bulge against my ass. My face began to heat up and my throat began to swell shut.
Suddenly Camren and Chris was in front of me.
"You guys must have made up." Camren screamed over the music. I gave her a confused look.
"What are you talking about g-girl?" I slurred. She gave me a small smile and pointed behind me. I followed her finger and I instantly jumped from the guy grasp. I began to make my way from my embarrassment.
"Ty!" I heard a voice yell. I didn't look back as I tried to free myself from the hot sea of bodies. Soon icy air from outside the house embraced me. Oh God, all I wanted was to escape this place, but I can't drive in this condition. Plus Daniel has the keys.
"Are you ok?" A voice said and I whipped around to see Rade staring down at me intensely. I felt like passing out.
"No, I'm not fucking ok R-Rade!" I screamed.
"Whoa.... are you drunk?" He questioned.
"Uhhhh no. I don't drink. You see, you don't know me at all!" I wined as I lied. I mean I wasn't drunk I was a bit whoozy but I think I'm ok.
"Why are you drinking Ty?" He questioned as he began to stalk closer to me with an angered expression. Why does he look so fuckable when he is mad?
"Do you know you look soooo fuckable right now?" I said poking him in his hard chest. His eyebrows scrunched together. My old Rade would have given an sexual remark to that.
"Answer me Ty." He demanded.
" I'm drinking because I'm fucking depressed since you just abandoned me."
"Ty-
" You just been ignoring me like I don't fucking exist to you."
"Ty I -
"But you know what, fuck you. I'm not gone cry over you no more. Why should I?"
"Can you-
"You don't miss me or love me. You don't give a flying fuck ab-
"Can you please stop fucking cutting me off and listen!" He yelled as he gripped me by the arms. I don't know why him yelling at me hurt so bad, but it broke my heart. I felt like I was just stabbed. I tried to control the overwhelming urge to cry, yet I could tell by his guilty eyes that I failed. He wiped the fallen tears away and then pulled me into a tight hug.
"I'm sorry for screaming princess, but you was making me mad with all the nonsense you was saying." He whispered in my ear.
"If it's not true, then why did you leave me alone for damn near a week." I cried.
"I just thought we both needed time to take a step back and calm down to think." He murmured.
"Well I disagree with that." I sniffed. He let out a little laugh. We stayed like that for awhile, just embracing each other. After awhile he pulled back to look at me.
"Look, I shouldn't have gotten so angry with you. I should respect your decision, even if I think its the wrong decision." He said seriously. I sighed.
"I'm sorry for saying the things I did. You were right. I just don't want to throw three years down the drain until I know I gave it my all and there is no doubt in my mind that it couldn't be saved." I said still crying.
"I understand Ty. Oh, and I will beat your ass if you ever say that I don't love or miss you. I felt like a piece of me died when I was gone." He said with an angry expression.
"Sorry, I just been very emotional lately because of someone." I said sarcasticly. He let out a deep laugh.
"Come on so I can take your drunk ass home. I already let the others know." He picked me up causing me to let out squeal.
Soon we were in front of my house. I turned around to face Rade. I missed this guy so much and having him so close to me once again was making me breathless and timid.
"Are you going to become my cuddling buddy again?" I asked with a shy smile.
"Umm about that, I can't. I mean us dancing together at the party like that wasn't really appropriate." He said while rubbing the back of his head.
"Oh, and you say you don't give a fuck about what Jay think though." I said with a laugh.
"No, I still don't give a fuck about how dude feel or think. It's just that....... I don't think my girl would really like that." I burst out laughing at his comment but it soon died out when I realized that he wasn't joking.
"Oh, wow." I whispered.
"Yeah." He mumbled. This was awkward. I should be happy for him. I should be proud that he is finally taking some girl out there serious. Yet, I was everything but happy for him.
" I'll see you tomorrow Rade." I whispered. I wanted to just ball up in my bed and cry.
"Ty-
He was cut off by me slamming the door in his face. I ran up the stairs to my room. I was mad at him. Yet, I was mostly upset with myself for being a horrible friend. Shouldn't I want him to be happy?