"SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS!"
The double doors slammed open with a loud bang and I came waltzing in.There was music playing at max volume from the speaker I was holding. I forgot what song it was but it was like some death metal type shit. The guitarist has mad some skills tho.
I think everyone just had a mini heart attack. Look, I had 2 hours of sleep. 2 hours. You insomniacs would understand. My self control cheated on me with sleep and went on vacation in Miami—they both hooked up when they found out I was two-timing. Now I'm drunk on sleep deprivation and two litres of coffee—I don't give a damn. I'm taking no more shit from them. No more. So here I am, sporting Aizawa approved eye bags, smirking in the doorway.
"O shit, waddup."
Most of them acted as they would, Tamaki was huddled up in his emo corner shivering and crying begging "mommy" to give him some moral support, while the rest looked mortified. They still weren't used to me yet, but they'll be soon enough. Surprisingly, Kaoru aka. Incest 2, had screamed—well, maybe not surprisingly because he stood right next to the doors. It missed him by a hair's breadth. Standing any closer would've gotten him crushed. If you look as it this way, it was payback for the rough handling last Saturday [A/N: No. Not like that you dirty minded freaks. Kuroo would've topped anyways]. I said it myself; I was gonna give them hell, and hell, shall they receive.
"Kuroo? What in the blazes are you doing?" His majesty asked, still looking shellshocked. Who the hell still uses the word 'blazes' anyways?
The music was still playing in the background.
"Oh don't mind me, I'm just passing through and popped in to say hi."
"Ok then.... are you sure you're alright? You don't look fine..." Honey walked up to me sheepishly.
"Geez you have major eye bags." I honestly don't know who said that but I was too lazy to care.
I marched over to the corner of the room towards the couch. Turning back to them and giving them a thumbs up, I replied.
"Peachy, just peachy."
Before flopping over face first, into the couch, still putting up my thumbs signalling to them that I was ok, whilst in reality my chances of being ok were around 50/50 but who the hell cares anyways.
"Hey Kuroo, you sure you don't want to go to the nurse or something?"
"nAh i'M FuCKinG FinE."
Muffled laughter came from the same spot before I promptly passed out, leaving the rest of the room still in confusion.
"Does anyone know what happened to him?" That was Blondie by the way.
"Excuse me, sir, I was just passing by and I couldn't help but overhear. If I may wager a guess?" A young man in a black suit, with short black hair and funny eyebrows, which seemed to step out of nowhere, spoke up. [A/N: guess whooo???? ;) ]
"Oh. Mattsun, go ahead."
"Well... you see, in the language of 'normal' people, I'd say you broke him. It was probably from stress and your treatment of him on Saturday. The mental strain you put on his was probably too much for him to bear."
"Huh... interesting. How do we fix him then?"
A bead of sweat formed on Makki's forehead. He laughed awkwardly
"Fix" him huh...
"....Just—just leave him alone for the day. From his personality, he just needs some sleep and time alone."
"Alright."
***
Previously; at home, Saturday, 6:00pm.
I was done. Done with, the bullshit, the stupidity, and dickery of life. The small trip into the 'jungle' helped a little bit but still not that much. I used to be hecka mad and drunk but now I'm just mad and drunk. Being drunk means doing stupid things and that was precisely the thing I did.
CUE THE MUSIC.
[A/N: Hippity hoppity back to the toppity and press play. Why I chose it? Idk. Sshhhh. Don't question it. The vid is cool as well. Go support the creators].
hEyHEyHEY
Bro : Bedhead
hEyHEyHEY : Bro
hEyHEyHEY : Whaddup?
Come over? : Bedhead
I'm about to do smth stupid : Bedhead
hEyHEyHEY : Omw
After the the 1 hour wait, the events that happened afterward could be possibly be, simultaneously, the worst, and best experiences in my life. Forget logic, conscience, and self control, those things died in a fire a long time ago.
3 knocks of the door was all it took for me to open the door. In hindsight, I should've asked who was there first, because it could've been an actual serial killer and I could've been killed; luckily for me it wasn't.
"BROOO! WHAT WE GONNA DO TONIGHT" Bokuto hooted.
"SOMETHING STUPID MATE"
"HELL YEAH"
Now CUe ThE MoNTAGE MUSIC
If you thought that was the end of the screaming you were dead wrong. We played mario kart until and he had to choose rainbow road. That jerk. We played for a few rounds before Bokuto decided to go ballistic and throw his controller out the window. "Don't worry." He says. "I'll buy you a new one." He says. Ugh. Next thing you know, it's midnight and he was sitting in the shopping cart, while I cling on behind, for dear life as we speed down the hill at 20 Mach, accompanied by Sexyback by Justin Timberlake blasting on my phone for no goddamned reason.
"DUDE I DONT WANNA DIE HERE!" I screamed with tears in my eyes.
"AT LEAST YOURE NOT THE ONE IN FRONT—OH SHIT THERES A WALL!" He screamed and clung on for dear life. "WE CRASH!"
"NO SHIT SHERLOCK"
Screaming intensified.
Shit shit shIt ShiT ShIT SHIT...
A loud-ass crash was heard.
"Oww..."
Miraculously neither of us got hurt very badly. We just ended up with a few bruises, cuts, and scrapes. I ended lying on my back, next to the wall, with the cart tipped over beside me. Bokuto, however was in a much worse position than me. Well at least I didn't get my dick caught up. Stupid...
We went off to get ice cream. At 1am. The cashier looked at us weirdly.
It was 2am when we got back. The lift was broken. Great.
We paced up the stairs and Bokuto kept speeding up, overtaking me. So I responded in kind.
"Oi, what are you doing?"
"What?"
A slow climb turned into jog. A jog turned into running. Running turned into sprinting. Do bear in mind that my room was on the sixth goddamned floor.
Soon enough the sound of laughter and ragged gasps filled the stairway as we raced up to my apartment. We collapsed on the ground. By then, we were both exhausted. Bokuto's hair was already starting to deflate as the hair gel was washed out with water and sweat—uh, yeah, did I mention we had a mini water fight at the park? Cuz we had a mini water fight at the park.
"Best. Night. Ever." Bokuto said through ragged breaths.
"Totally."
"Holy crap bro. We should do this again."
"Hell yeah..." My eyelids started to feel heavy already.
"Dude what about my—" I stopped mid sentence. He was already asleep and snoring.
Oh well. That little shit. I'll just talk to him tomorrow...
***
"Ugh. What time is it?" I glanced up at the clock. "1:30? Oh well..."
"WAIT 1:30!?"
"What the hell man?" Bokuto grumbled beside me.
Wait... what happened? Oh... OH.
It was 1:30 in the afternoon—MY ESSAYS. My 8 page essays on a classical novel of my choice, that had to be due on Monday. Well, fuck me gently in the eye sockets with a dildo-shaped cactus. I'm dead—aaannd that was my stomach growling. Who gives a fuck about life anyways? Food comes first.
—That was me 7 hours ago. Now it's like 8:45 in the evening. I regret everything. I'm only on my second page; I've already downed 2 cups of coffee and a can of red bull, I'm hecka dead and I want to commit jump... ples. Why does classical literature have to be so hard? I'm actually, literally, sobbing right now send help please. I'm saying goodbye to sleep before he leaves cuz I'm not gonna get any, then again, it wasn't like I was gonna get any in the first place.
***
And that folks, concludes my montage and brings us to the present.
Ugh. Life.
I groaned, not moving from my position on the couch. It was more comfortable than my actual bed. Like what the fuck rich kids? And HOw lOnG WAs I oUT—Oh SHiT tHe ESsAYs.
Oh well, fuck life, fuck the essays, fuck life, fuck you, you, you, and you. Did I just say fuck life twice? Yeah I did. Here, I'm feeling nice, have another one. Fuck life.
I'll do it tomorrow.
Fuck everything.
Fuck.
==========================
[A/N]: Hi people of the world. I don't even know what I'm doing here, nor do I know what's gonna happen next but still. (Also I deleted the previous AN cuz like... why not?)
If you have any constructive criticism, it's always welcome.
As always, thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed ;)
-Twenty