The next couple of days were filled with meticulous planning. It was a relief to take a break from the two opportunities that I had been presented. I was also making sure to not be in the sight of Alex or Eva. With Alex, it was a bit difficult because we had the same class. To avoid him I'd try to come into class a little late and find a spot away from him. I'd also rush out of the classroom so that I wouldn't have to be near him or talk to him. If I didn't see him or his girlfriend, it meant that I was safe, and any sign of them caused me to scurry to a place where I could hide. Thinking about it now, it was a tiring and paranoid situation. I was a non-confrontational person, I would never want any problems with anyone. Eva had already established where she stood with me so I felt like I had to honor her wishes. After all, she is Alex's girlfriend. If she felt like I was coming onto her boyfriend, she had a right to speak up.
Sitting down in the library after classes, I looked between the poetry night flyer and the fashion internship packet once again. I hadn't touched them since the beginning of the week. It was driving me absolutely crazy that I couldn't even choose. A choice that seemed so simple but yet, it was so difficult. I should just become an intern and immerse myself into the real world of design. But at the same time, maybe poetry nigh could've opened up a new door for me? It would add a new experience to my new college journey. It could be a chance for me to find another enjoyable hobby. I felt that I should take advantage of the situation. I mean, this was important. I know that I have a major already, but maybe something else would open up my eyes.
Of course I knew that, but deep down, I guess a part of me didn't think I deserved these opportunities. For one, poetry night is for people that truly enjoy writing poetry from the heart. I didn't have that characteristic. And the fashion internship? How is it that out of all the competition, the teacher chose me?
I tried not to let these things occupy my mind too much, but the time was ticking especially for the poetry night. I put the two options away in my book bag. What I needed to do now was focus on was my schoolwork. As I did that, I kept a watchful eye around me. I busied myself into my studies, with some music on in the background. It's amazing how music can change your whole mood.
Time had passed, the library was close to empty with a few Asian students littered around the place. When I checked the time, it was almost 7:30 PM. Have I really been studying for that long? I really have no life it seems. I leaned back in my chair and stretched, letting out a strong noise. Some people turned to look at me, making my cheeks heat up. I closed my laptop and notebooks, putting them away.
I sat in my seat, taking a moment to be still. I looked towards the door and saw Alex coming in by himself. Oh goodness, how many times do I have to run into him today? He looked tired, not only physically but mentally as well. At least his eye didn't look as bad as it did a few days ago.
I quickly looked away and put my hoodie over my head, focusing on my phone. I wasn't doing anything in particular so I figured I'd just distract myself and not look so noticeable.
"Violet," he called. I pulled my hoodie down further. Alex sat beside me and knocked on the table to get my attention. I only glanced at him. He was trying to get a better look at my face.
"Are you alright?" He asked. I didn't respond, I just shrugged. He sat there for some time waiting for an answer before getting up.
"Whatever." He mumbled, walking away. I heard the library door open and close. I looked up to see that he wasn't in sight anymore. At this moment, I felt like my insides had crumbled. I already felt bad enough for avoiding him, now I felt worse for ignoring him. I could've told him what his girlfriend threatened but I couldn't. I had to respect their relationship. I continued to subconsciously stare at the library door, hoping that Alex would walk back in here. All I was staring at was a blank hallway.
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Thanks for reading! I know this was a short chapter, but it was just to give more context to the situation Violet is currently in. In the next chapter, let's hope she'll make a decision between her two opportunities. Hope you enjoyed :)