The words leave Parker's mouth without even a thought. They even surprise him but there's not even a single ounce of him that regrets it. He can't breathe without her and right now, sitting in the ER, that's when she should know. She's his lifeline and Parker would be damned if he ever had to lose her. He's in love with her and it's been true for a long time but it's the friendship.
It's always the friendship. He can't breathe without her friendship. Their friendship. Some people think soulmates are just a thing made up for money because the idea of a soulmate makes people think they aren't complete without another person and maybe, they are made up for money but everything else? Not true.
A soulmate is someone who makes people want to be better, be better for themselves and for others. They're the person that people confide in above all else and the person who's there willingly and almost uncontrollably through the good, the bad, the ugly, and the dark and twisty. They choose to there because there's always a connection, one that isn't said but simply felt when the other person is there. And it's not just people who are in love with each other and it's not a single person. Sometimes, soulmates are two friends who simply need each other in order to breathe.
Parker leans in and his lips press to Elli's forehead, eyes closing as he breathes in and he wants to say more, but he doesn't, not right now.
"You smell and taste like smoke." Parker smirks as his eyes open and Elli matches the look with the wiggle of her brows.
"It's cause I'm hot." Elli bites her lip to keep from laughing as Parker pulls away, a melodic laugh falling from his lips.
"Are you though?" Parker narrows his eyes and Elli's jaw drops with a gasp, hand going to her chest in mock offense.
"I am!"
"Mmmm," Parker hums, smile as bright as the nights above them. "You're alright." Parker jokes, pulling her back in for a hug.
"Jerk." Elli mumbles against him, looking up to him and she might smell and taste like smoke but Parker just wants to kiss her all over again.
"You love me." He says and the bright smile falls to one of kindness and love.
"Do I though?"
Parker snorts, head falling against hers and he's about to counter her. He doesn't want to tell her he loves here but maybe this could be it. This could be the moment because they're joking and maybe that's how it should be. Joking and it's just said. He wants to admit it and he just hopes she'd feel the same and admit everything that's been bottled up for the past two years. His bones and skin are screaming for him to do and her eyes are bright and she is so much more than he thinks he deserves and he wants to scream it to every single person in the hospital. But, that's when Collyn decides he's going to cut his bathroom break, walking back to his bed and interrupting the banter and Parker's need to tell Elli.
"Interrupting?" Collyn quips, taking his seat back on the bed and putting the mask back on.
Parker sends him a glare Elli doesn't see as she turns to look at Collyn. "Nah, it's fine." Parker says, looking back to Elli. His hands slide from her face and to her shoulders before giving them a soft squeeze and reaching for her mask, offering her to put it back on.
"Thanks, Parker." Elli thanks him with a hoarse voice as she takes it and puts it back on, a sort of cool form of relief coming to her lungs with the fresh oxygen.
"'Course, darlin'." Parker smiles gently, looking to the side for a chair to sit in but Elli's already moving over to make room for him.
"Sit." She says, leaning back against the bed, having left enough room for Parker sit beside her.
"You sure?" He quirks a brow before his eyes really get to look her over.
Smoke stained clothes cover her body and her ankle is elevated on a few pillows with an ice pack, something Parker didn't even notice when he first came in.
"Please." Elli reaches for his hand and pulls him over with little effort before he takes his seat, arm almost instinctively going around her as one leg lays beside her and the other hangs off the edge.
Collyn eyes the two of them and it's hard for him not to chuckle to himself. They don't know Collyn had just seen them kiss and the way they interact. He's certain with every fiber of his being that that's how they act when they're alone. People don't just suddenly have tender touches with each other and they don't just embrace each other and kiss like that when it's not a regular thing. When there isn't something more between the two of them. They don't know Collyn saw it and under any other circumstances, Collyn would be running his mouth about it but, today after everything, it's not the right time. He'll let them have the pass.
Parker clears his throat, pulling Collyn from his thoughts. "What, uh, what happened?" Parker asks with hesitance in his words, almost feeling like it's not the right thing to ask.
"Um," Collyn furrows his brows, looking to Elli, silently questioning what to tell him.
"Something exploded and we got stuck." Elli states, her voice flat as she looks to her hands, fiddling with her fingers.
"What d'ya mean you were stuck?" Parker asks, glancing between his two friends. "That how you've hurt your arm and your leg?"
"I dunno what happened." Collyn answers. "We smelled the smoke and were trying to get out and then there was just an explosion. I woke up with a fucked elbow a few feet away from Elli."
Parker's eyes widen and his heart aches with the thought of his best friend, the person he's known since he were a kid, knocked unconscious due to an explosion. It's different knowing about it but having to hear it from Collyn's mouth, seeing him in a sling, that's different. It's real.
"I woke up with Collyn yelling at me and trapped under a bookshelf." Elli sighs, eyes glancing to Parker before going to her ankle.
Parker's heart drops as he looks down at her and back to Collyn. With Collyn, at least he was able to move. He could leave if he really, really needed to but Elli? She was trapped. Under a bookshelf? What's Parker supposed to do with that? What if Collyn hadn't been able to wake her up? What if she hadn't been thrown from the blast the shelving would have come down on her differently? There's a lot of thoughts running through Parker's head but the main one is that Elli was trapped in a fire after an explosion and at the moment, no one knows what even caused it so for all anyone knows there could have been another one. And Elli was just trapped.
"W-what?" Parker asks, trying to push the lump down.
"It's fine." Elli says, looking up to him. "Collyn stayed until some firefighters came."
"You couldn't move it?" Parker looks to Collyn and Collyn was already feeling guilty enough, beating himself up plenty for not being able to help but the tone of Parker's voice just amplified it. There isn't blame or even disappointed just fear and sadness.
"No," Collyn says softly. "Was too heavy to try and move with one arm."
There's parts of Parker that are surprised Collyn opted to stay with Elli rather than go get help but mostly, he's not surprised, not at all because if it were Parker, he'd have done the same thing. Getting help is smart but when people love someone, whether that be platonically or romantically, smart isn't always the decision that's made. The point is that Collyn tried and then he stayed and Parker wasn't there and he knows Collyn didn't do it for anyone besides Elli because she was the one trapped. It was her life at risk. It wasn't about Collyn or Parker, just about Elli but Parker still finds himself eternally grateful to his best friend for staying with Elli. And for trying, risking his own life and further injury to save her.
Parker gives Collyn a sympathetic nod. "Least you tried."
Collyn huffs, smile pulling at his lips. "Yeah."
"But he shouldn't have stayed--" Elli starts, voice stern and accusing before Collyn cuts her off.
"Wasn't gonna leave you to burn in a damn building alone. Life or death, it's what we do." Collyn chuckles, referring to their conversation just a few months prior.
"Can you stop having life or death situations, please?" Parker asks, looking between the two of them.
Elli looks to Collyn and shrugs. "Since you asked nicely." Elli grins, looking back to Parker who just shakes his head before squeezing her closer to him.
"What'd they say 'bout your arm and ankle?" Parker asks.
"We're still waiting on x-rays. We're not burned or anything so we're not top priority."
"But, since it did take forever to get an x-ray anyway, I'm gonna guess we're both fine and it's not surprising." Elli adds in with the shrug of her shoulders.
Parker lets out a breathy chuckle. "Good," He sucks in a breath and glances between his two friends once more. "But, really, you guys alright?"
Elli looks to Collyn, eyes sadder than that a few seconds ago. "I'm fine, you?"
"I'm fine considering the circumstances." Collyn gives them a thumbs up and a smirk.
The conversation between the three of them stops though as Elli and Collyn's doctor comes into view. They're quick to tell Parker but it wasn't needed as the doctor comes closer until he's standing between the two bed of Collyn and Elli.
He greets them with a warm smile before nodding toward Parker. "That the friend?"
"Yep." Elli says proudly with a single nod.
"You can tell us, we'd just tell him whatever you're about to say anyway." Collyn chimes in gaining a chuckle from the doctor before he nods his head.
"Alright," The doctor looks to Elli. "First, your chest x-ray came back and you had some damage to your lungs from the smoke but that was to be expected. Good news though, you should be just fine. I want to keep here a little longer on oxygen just to be safe but within a few hours you should be able to go home." He finishes the statement, allowing Elli to take in what he has said and she is beyond relieved.
Sure, she assumed she was going to be fine but just because her breathing is getting better doesn't actually mean she's fine so she's happy to hear that she is.
"As for your ankle," The doctor squints a little and Elli can feel the dread.
"Aw, don't say it." Elli groans. "Am I gonna be on crutches?"
"Two weeks." He says simply. "It's not broken but it is badly bruised so I want you to lay off it for two weeks and just let it heal. You don't want it getting any worse."
"Lovely." Elli says with sarcasm.
"You know you're gonna milk it." Parker quips. "We're gonna get home, you'll go into my bed and then have me get you a bell and make me do everythin' for ya. Don't act like you're bummed."
Elli bursts into laughter, a few coughs interrupting the sound Parker lives for. "You got me there."
"Mhm," Parker hums looking to Collyn. "Hey, Collyn, so you wanna--"
"Nah, mate. She's all yours." Collyn laughs, gaining him a glare from Elli that she soon breaks, unable to hold a straight face.
"You love me." Elli remarks to both boys who just laugh.
The doctor laughs with them before he turns his attention to Collyn. "As for you," He says and Collyn stops laughing, waiting for good news. "Your chest x-ray was better than Elli's, some damage but again, nothing to worry about. I wanna keep you here another hour just to be safe but after that, you should be able to be discharged. But," The doctor pauses and the mood drops with his tone. "Your elbow."
"Is it bad?" Collyn asks, face drenched in worry.
"It could have been worse." The doctor says and adjusts his tone to one that's a little lighter. "I think when the explosion happened and the shelving came down, it came down on your elbow while shoving you away from it." The doctor starts explaining. "It is broken."
"That's not good." Collyn responds, Elli turning her attention to him with sad eyes.
"Well, as I said, it could have been worse. You're going to be in a sling for about six weeks. The good news is that your elbow didn't dislocate. If it had, you would have needed surgery." Collyn winces at the words. "So, you did get lucky there."
"Am I gonna be able to use it?" Collyn asks, concern starts to seep into his words as his sculpting career comes to mind.
"After six weeks, most likely. If anything, you might be sore or stiff but you should be okay." The doctor assures.
"Okay, thanks." Collyn nods and the doctor does the same.
"Any questions from either of you?"
"Just one," Elli starts. "Did they find out what exploded?"
Collyn and Parker stare at the doctor as he nods. "They just announced it a few minutes ago." The doctor says. "It was due to an electrical malfunction in the cafe."
"Really?" Collyn asks.
He nods with a hum. "Seems it was just a fluke accident."
"That's good." Elli states.
The doctor nods. "Anything else?" Collyn and Elli shake their heads. "Alright, well, I'll check on you guys in a bit."
The doctor walks away and that leaves the three of them but Collyn is in his own head. He looks down at his arm that's hanging in the blue sling and he knows the doctor said he should be okay but he didn't sound too enthusiastic. Maybe it's just paranoia from the day that's getting to him but Collyn just has a bad feeling. Maybe his elbow won't heal the way it should or maybe the stiffness or soreness once it is healed won't go away. He needs his arm to sculpt. He's going to be fine for the next two months, he's smart, always saving money in case something happens. The arts are not an easy industry to stay employed with so Collyn has been smart with money but what if that's it?
"Collyn?" Elli asks, voice gentle and soft as silk as she pulls Collyn from his thoughts. He looks up to her, sorrow in his eyes."Are you okay?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm okay." Collyn fakes a smile and Parker watches it, eyes narrowing.
"Wanna talk 'bout it, Collyn?" Parker asks.
"He said I'll be fine so it's fine. The important thing is that we didn't die and we can breathe." Collyn tries to make light of the situation but Elli and Parker don't even crack a smile. "I'm fine, it's just made me paranoid. It's fine."
"Okay..." Elli says. "If it's not?"
"I'll tell you." Collyn confirms. "Anyway," Collyn sucks in a breath. "Where the hell even were you?" Collyn switches the tone and conversation to Parker.
"Uh...." Parker's eyes widen as he looks between Collyn and Elli. "With Jenny, we just got talking and I dunno. Lost track of time, guess." Parker lies, not willing to tell either of them the context of their conversations but what he doesn't know is that Elli is giving Collyn a knowing look, one that says he was wrong and she was right about Parker and Jenny.
"Did you have fun at least?" Elli asks, simply.
"Suppose," Parker shrugs. "Dunno, was weird seeing her." Parker clears his throat, shifting in his seat.
"Gonna see her again?" Collyn asks, more so Elli won't have to.
"Probably not." Parker scoffs. "We talked and that's the end of it, ya know?"
Elli lets out a breath and the corners of her mouth pull into something that's barely even considered a smile. She knows Jenny has a girlfriend but sometimes when people reunite, old feelings spark up and things change. Things change and people change. Elli would support Parker in whatever would have happened but she would never stop worrying. Jenny hurt him and Elli remembers that. When someone hurts Parker, they hurt her and she doesn't want to see him hurt. So, she's beyond relieved that he'll likely not be seeing her.
"Yeah," Elli says, keeping her opinion neutral.
Parker clears his throat again and looks at his friends. "Yep." Parker rolls his shoulders. "Uh, so, we'll be a here a few hours. Now what?"
Elli looks up to him and gives him a cheesy grin. "Well, the ER is boring so...."
"What d'ya want?" Parker asks, jokingly exasperated.
"Ya wanna make a run to the apartment and grab my laptop with the pink flash drive? It has movies."
Collyn and Parker let out a laugh at the question. "Yeah, I'll be back." Parker says, squeezing Elli into a hug and kissing the top of her head before getting to his feet.
He looks to Collyn gives him a thankful nod before he heads out. He doesn't exactly want to leave already even if it is just to run back to the apartment but hearing the doctor say both Collyn and Elli should be just fine and be ready to leave in a few hours, gives him the willpower to do so.
While Parker heads back to the apartment, that leaves Elli and Collyn together again for the next twenty minutes. With Collyn's thoughts essentially confirmed with seeing them kiss and reunite, maybe now is a good time to bring it up. Elli can't exactly move and Parker isn't around. He knows where Parker stands but he's yet to hear the words from Elli's mouth. Collyn, while he doesn't want to push them because it should be their choice, things should happen on their own terms, wants to know exactly where Elli stands. If she feels the same, like he thinks she does, he can let it be but if she doesn't? Collyn has to say something, he has to save his best friend's heart.
"So," Collyn starts. "You still claiming you're not hookin' up when I've just seen the two of you kiss like that?" A chuckle comes from the back of his throat as Elli snaps her head in his direction, eyes wide and surprised.
"You....you saw that?" Elli asks, a simple wince across her features.
Collyn nods. "Uh, yeah, I did." It's snarky but a smile comes to his face. "So?"
"Heat of the moment." Elli mutters.
Collyn's eye twitches as he stares at her. "I'm going to lose my shit." His hands move with his words as he looks to the floor, seemingly talking to himself. "Can you please stop lying to me? If you're into him, why the fuck's it even matter? Especially today. You could have died."
"But I didn't." Elli counters. "I didn't die and that's the point so maybe how I feel or don't feel about Parker doesn't matter because in the grand scheme of things, my feelings don't seem that important anymore."
Collyn jerks his head back in a state of confusion. "What?"
"I...I'm just, I'm just saying. I dunno." Elli stutters, wanting to take back her remark.
"So, you don't like him but you're gonna let him think that? After that kiss?"
"I....it's....Collyn it's complicated, okay?"
"What the bloody hell is complicated about it?"
"Drop it." Elli says, words stern as she faces away from him.
"You can like him, I won't tell him. But...." Collyn pauses as Elli moves her eyes to him. "By the looks of it, he likes you, too." Collyn says, keeping his word to Parker.
Elli sighs and turns her head. "I almost died and whether I like him or not or he likes me or not, that's not....that's not what I want to talk about right now." Collyn nods with understanding but disappointed. "But, I do. Just...for the record, yes I like him."
Collyn grins ear to ear. "Okay."
"Thank you." Elli says, gaining a smile. "Tell him and punch your elbow."
"Fuck you." Collyn scoffs with the shake of his head.
They laugh before they fall into another conversation, sporadic coughing only interrupting here and there. The conversation persists as usual, both of them wanting to focus on something normal and not what happened to either of them. And by the time Parker comes back, he's taking a seat on Elli's bed, this time closer to Collyn as the three pick from one of the movies Elli has on her flash drive.
They have to adjust a few times for them all to be able to see the screen properly and they can't have the volume too loud but it works. The three of them sit comfortably in the hospital beds, focused on their film while occasionally adding some commentary and it's almost as if they aren't actually in a hospital. It's like nothing really happened. They forget the bad of the day because when they're with each other, even when injured and shaken up, everything feels fine. And maybe that's one of the many beauties of friendship.
After a few hours, the doctor discharged both Collyn and Elli, allowing them to leave with Parker. Parker helped Elli and made sure Collyn was fine to be walking as they exited the hospital before he had them wait by the doors for him to get the car so they wouldn't have to walk far. He was back in no time and helping his friends into his car and heading back to Collyn's to drop him off.
Parker offered to let him stay with him and Elli but Collyn declined. Parker didn't really want Collyn to be alone, not after seeing him with an oxygen mask and hearing what the doctor had to say about his elbow. It just made him uncomfortable and made him worried but Collyn was pretty insistent. He'd be fine, just like the doctor said. Of course, maybe had he not gotten Elli to admit her feelings or seen them kissing, maybe he would have taken up the offer. But, he did so he figures maybe they should have some time alone and maybe something will come of it. Besides, Collyn's still pretty bummed over his elbow and just wants to sleep.
By the time Elli and Parker get back to the apartment, Elli is ready to collapse and get some much-needed sleep and Parker is right behind her. There's not even a discussion. Elli makes her way into Parker's room and it's one of the only times she's never asked or said anything about it. She just went and Parker would be lying if he said he didn't get a surge of butterflies through his chest with it. And when he followed her into his room, she was already sat on the bed, crunches leaned against it and eyes drooping closed.
"Want clothes?" Parker asks, sweet and tender smile tugging at his lips.
"Please." Elli bites her lip as she looks at him.
"Gotcha." Parker nods as he makes his way to his dresser and closet, pulling out pants and hoodie for her to wear as well as himself to change into.
"Thanks." Elli says when Parker hands her the clothing.
"You're welcome, need help?" Parker smirks as Elli tugs off her current hoodie.
She rolls her eyes at him as she laughs. "Do you?"
"Not the one who almost died." Parker quips, moving the shirt in his hand to the other.
"Fair," Elli strips her shirt off without a care before removing her bra and sliding on Parker's hoodie. She inhales slowly and for the first time, it scares her. The way it smells, the way it fits, the warmth and comfort that just radiates into her bones from the hoodie, scares her.
"You alright?" Parker asks, catching the distant look crossing her face.
Elli's brows raise as she looks back to him. "Yeah, it's just....I dunno. Almost died, like, literally. It's something else. You know I've had plenty of near death experiences, almost being hit by a bus kind of stuff but that is so...." Elli stops as she shakes her head and starts working on getting her jeans off.
"So what?" Parker asks, the concern leaks into his words.
"Nothing." Elli says, not looking back to him.
Parker takes a step forward and squats in front of her. "You can tell me, ya know? You were quiet on the way home and you're never quiet." Parker lets out a nervous and quiet chuckle. "You're worrying me a little."
Elli sighs, hands moving to his shoulders, smoothing out the fabric of his worn shirt. "When you almost get hit by a bus, you don't have time to think about it. One minute you're walking and the next, you're being pulled backwards and a bus honks before passing. It happens in maybe five seconds but...." Elli pauses as she looks at Parker and it's sadness that fills her eyes. "Today? I had time to think about it. I had time to panic and realize, I couldn't breathe well. My legs hurt. My chest hurt. I had time to realize that if I didn't get help in a certain amount of time, I would be dead. I...." She sucks in a breath before her eyes dodge his and Parker hangs onto every word. "I had time to think about my family....to think about you."
Parker's brows furrow and he wants to wrap her up in his arms and never let her go again because he can swear to anyone that he's never seen her like this. He's never seen her look lost and she looks like she's just been stranded on a deserted island in the middle of the Pacific.
"Forget it." Elli mutters, hands sliding from his shoulders as she goes back to changing.
"Nah," Parker's voice is quiet as he shakes his head. "Not gonna forget it. 'S alright if you're not okay after this, ya know?"
Elli glances to him as she nods. "I know. I just, I need to sleep I think." The smile she gives him is one that says she's about to break and it is the saddest smile Parker's ever seen and it could have broke him.
"D'ya want a movie?" Parker offers, not moving from his spot in front of her.
"The Little Mermaid." Elli says, looking to him through her lashes and Parker smiles, pressing on her thighs to stand up.
"Got it." He smiles and presses a kiss to her forehead before he works on getting the movie set up, allowing her to finish changing.
Elli changes and makes her way to her side before Parker changes himself and climbs into bed next to her, the tv ready for Elli to hit play whenever she's ready. Parker extends his arm, welcoming her into his embrace and she quickly moves against him, laying her head on his chest before she tells him to hit play.
They don't talk after that. The only sound is the film and some cars outside. Elli's mind stays on the movie and Parker's heartbeat. His fingers rub her shoulder over the fabric of the hoodie and his heart just beats. Her hand lays on his stomach, feeling his breath with every inhale and exhale he takes. The skin is taught and warm beneath her fingers and with the steady rhythm of his heart, soon lulling Elli to sleep.
Sleeping for Elli? That proved to be hard. She fell asleep fairly easy but staying asleep was a task. She wasn't having nightmares or anything like that, luckily, but her mind just kept waking her up. It was running a mile a minute and Elli couldn't keep up with her thoughts. So, when she woke up for the last time around nine, she just sucked in a breath, feeling Parker's arms wrapped around her.
She wiggled in his arms, twisting to face him. His face is relaxed and calm, a few stray curls resting on his forehead. The only thing that seems out of place is his one eyebrow that has the cowlick but it's something that makes him and it's cute. His lips are slightly parted, almost silent snores coming from his throat every so often. He just looks so peaceful and Elli just adores him and it scares her.
She can turn to face him and suddenly, her eyes are aching with sleep and she can feel herself ready to fall right back into a deep sleep. Parker, just being there, can get her to relax, to keep her mind calm, to help her breathe. There is something horrendously terrifying about it and maybe it's just because she didn't fully realize it until yesterday. Elli didn't realize how much she needs him and that's scary. Parker is her lifeline and it's clearer than the summer sky on cloudless nights.
Elli reaches out with shaky and gentle fingers, brushing the hair away from his face. Parker's forehead wrinkles, his arms tightening around her as a groan interrupts a snore. Parker opens just one eye, just enough to get a very blurry visual of Elli looking at him.
"Youokaydarlin?" Parker slurs his words together, eye closing again despite his tries to keep it open.
"Mhm," She hums, moving closer into his chest. Parker breathes out, Elli feeling him relax against her. "Couldn't sleep."
Parker's arms right around her again, lips pressing to the top of her head as he kisses her. "Wanna get coffee and food?" Parker asks, voice thick with sleep but words not as slurred.
"You're sleeping, it's okay." Elli assures, not moving from her place against his chest.
"'S alright, Elli." Parker says. "Can get up." He pulls away and Elli looks up to him, holding a distant look her eyes just like last night. Parker sucks in a breath and he wants to do anything that might make her feel better. "We could get breakfast, stop at Collyn's make sure he's alright, not do anything today till later and we could get outa the city. Look at the stars, sound alright?"
Elli's lips curl into a smile with the offer as she nods before kissing his lips. "Yeah, sounds good."
"C'mon, then." Parker yawns, stretching his arms. "Let's get up and movin'."
The two of them get moving, Elli groaning with having to need crunches but Parker just makes sure she's alright, walking behind her. They take turns in getting ready for the day, Parker allowing Elli to go first and him taking a shower right after while Elli gets ready. Parker does as he normally does, sings in the shower and it lifts Elli's mood exponentially. There will always be something about the way Parker sings that will make Elli feel better. And today is no different. And Parker knows it so he makes sure to sing her favorite songs while they share the bathroom to get ready.
By the time they're both ready to leave, it's just after eleven and they're off for more of a brunch rather than a breakfast. But, the two of them enjoy it and as the day goes by, Parker has a pulling in his chest. It's the same pulling that happened last night before he was interrupted. The same pulling that happened when he told Elli he loved her when she was asleep. As the day goes by, it's sinking in that he really almost lost her yesterday and he wants to tell her. He still wants to tell her because what is the worst that can happen?
So, the two of them go to Collyn's and the three hang out as they usually do but not staying too long as Collyn actually had plans to go his parents given yesterday's events. But, it worked out because by the time Collyn was ready to leave, Elli and Parker were ready to grab an early dinner and make their way out of the city to get away from the lights.
They reach the spot that's usually reserved for summer and spring nights within half an hour, Elli relieved to be out of the city and Parker happy to just be alone and in one of their favorite places. They both love the city but there is something about seeing the stars that they both really like. And this was the place they had one of their first real conversations. Of course, they were sat in Parker's car with the music playing lowly and Elli's feet were on his dashboard while Parker was laid back in his seat. They had talked for hours and it was like no time had passed at all. The two of them have plenty of history here because of that one night.
Parker gets out of the car and goes to Elli's side, helping her out with her crunches before they move to the front of his car. Elli sits on the hood of Parker's car, allowing her legs to dangle down the front of the car while he takes a seat next to her. The two of them lay back, eyes immediately fixing on the crystal clear sky decorated in millions of tiny stars. The air is cold around them, the only heat coming from the metal beneath them and their coats wrapped around them but neither of them find themselves caring. The sky is too breathtaking to care about anything besides the stars.
It's rare to have moments like this. Living in the city, they don't get to see the stars often. They're usually hidden by the bright lights and yes, they love the city and would likely never move away from it, but it's like they're missing this other world while they're stuck in their own bustling lives. The stars are calm and quiet, just up there and unjudging to anything they may witness. The city lights? They watch all the time, judgemental eyes peering away and ready to attack at any given moment. Not the stars though, they keep secrets.
Parker pulls out his phone and he lets a playlist play, the first song being "Let Me Down Slowly". Elli looks over to him, his side profile sharp against the bright light of the moon, the distant street lamp, and the reflected headlights of his car. His jawline is sharp, almost perfectly carved while his cheek is decorated in the small acne scars that she's counted a thousand times before. Pale freckles sprinkle his nose and the corners of his eyes crinkle as his brows furrow while he looks to her.
"What?" He asks, a tender smile pressing his lips.
"Thinking." Elli shrugs, eyes back on the stars.
"Why d'ya always look at me when you're thinkin'?"
She looks back to him with teasing eyes. "Am I not allowed to look at you?"
Parker chuckles, looking back to the stars and he wants her to always look at him. It sends chills and butterflies of excitement and nervousness through his entire body. It's like the most beautiful form of distant electricity. "You can." He says, eyes just glancing to her. "What're ya thinkin' 'bout?"
Elli sucks in a breath and she watches the stars, the way they seem to almost reflect against the nearly black background of the sky. "I almost died." Elli says and Parker's attention snaps in her direction, brows pulling together and shooting pain hitting his heart.
"But you didn't." Parker states, eyes scanning her face.
"I know." Elli keeps her eyes on the stars. "But....I almost did and I dunno..." She trails off, looking at Parker just long enough to shake her head. "Forget it."
The stars can hold secrets but people don't. And maybe it's a little scary to be laying on the hood of Parker's car thinking about how she almost died and maybe she's just set her life on cruise control. She lives the same routine nearly every single day and while she's happy with her life, maybe she's not doing enough. People her age travel and they're out starting families and just living to their fullest and Elli wonders if maybe she's stuck.
Without a doubt, she's figured out she's taken smaller things for granted. After all, that's exactly why they're sat looking at the stars because she almost wasn't able to see them again. So, how is she so certain that her life is supposed to be just waiting for something incredible to happen instead of going after something bigger? How does she know she's not meant for something bigger, something outside of this place? She doesn't and it's got her mind aching and screaming until she looks to Parker again and everything's calm. She looks at him and suddenly, every ripple of the tidal waves in her mind just cease to exist. It's just....calm.
Parker.
He's worried though, the wrinkles of his forehead say it all. He doesn't like when Elli tells him to forget something because it always means something's eating at her. Elli knows it because she pays attention. Everything about him, she pays attention and she knows that he's the reason she won't leave. If an offer came, she would for herself, of course, she needs him. And his big brown eyes with the subtle hints of yellow are putting the country stars to shame and he's the reason she knows she's alive for something.
"C'mon," Parker says, pulling Elli from her thoughts. "What's wrong?"
"I just," Elli sucks in a breath. "I feel like I've taken a lot for granted and it's just put a lot into perspective, I guess, ya know?"
Oh, does he know. He knows more than he can say right now because when he said he couldn't breathe without her, he meant it. Parker has taken her for granted, expecting her to always be there. Elli thinks she's set her life in cruise control but so has Parker. Parker's set his feelings for her on autopilot, expecting things to just happen and call it a day but that's not how it works and now it's like a bright traffic light shining in his face. He can't miss it and it's the night.
"Think we all have, pretty normal though. Don't beat yourself up for it, ya?" Parker extends his arm and welcomes her a spot on his chest which she gratefully takes.
"Yeah, we shouldn't though." Elli states once her ear is pressed to his chest, hand looking for his to intertwine their fingers. "I mean, like I'm thinking of the best day of my life, ya know? And it's like, maybe I should have took it in more."
Parker's hand runs through her hair as he nods. "Think that's the thing though," He pauses, tilting his head to look down at her. "If we spent every day thinking we could die at any time, maybe we'd end up too depressed to do anything. Maybe everything would be too much. We'd be so damn focused on a what if that we pack too much into an experience and then we're overwhelmed. Long as you're havin' fun in the moment, think that's what matters the most, darlin'."
Elli looks up to him and their eyes meet for a few seconds, Parker's heart starting to thunder in his chest and he prays Elli doesn't notice. "You really think that?" Elli asks.
Parker nods simply. "Of course." The hand of his arm that's wrapped around her rubs up her arm as if trying to comfort her. "What's your favorite day?" Parker asks.
Without a second thought, Elli speaks. "When I went to Disney World with my family for the first time. We got to go to the parade and all that, got a stuffed Simba and it was, it was really fun. Not just because it was Disney and I was like nine but because it was my family and I didn't see my sister much because she was in high school and had her own friends but on vacation, it was just us. I don't know, it was fun."
"It sounds like fun." Parker reassures, squeezing her closer to him. "And you were only nine, you had fun. It's what matters, I promise." He looks down and gives her a gentle smile.
"What's yours?" Elli asks. "Ya know, best moment or day of your life?"
Parker has one immediate thought with the question:
First time you kissed me.
But, he skips it.
Of all the days in his life, he's got a few that come to mind but he's talking to her so that day at Navy Pier is staring him right in the face. And it is blocking every other memory but it doesn't bother him. Maybe yesterday it would have but not today because Elli's right. People take things for granted and Navy Pier with her in the snow is one of the best days of his life and maybe she should know that.
"Navy Pier with you for the first time." Parker states, no smile, just honestly in the lines of his face and Elli's brows furrow in surprise and touches of confusion while her heart starts thundering just as much as his.
"The day in the snow?" Elli asks.
Parker nods, a shiver of anxiety running down his spine. "'s my favorite day."
"Why?" Elli sits up, leaning on her arm to get a better look at Parker's face and the look she's giving him is killing him because oh, does he want to ramble about how he sees the stars in her eyes.
"Was the day I knew..." Parker pauses and it's not about him at this moment. Later. "Um, I dunno." Parker looks to the stars. "I just like that day a lot, ya know?"
"That's your reason?" Elli asks, sensing there's more to it than what he's saying.
"You not have a day you like just because?" Parker lightens his voice, quirking a brow up at her.
Elli ponders but only for a second because he's right. "Yeah..." Elli chuckles softly with a blush creeping onto her cheeks.
"Which is?" Parker questions.
"Comic book store with you for the first time." Elli laugh, moving from her elbow and laying back beside him.
Parker laughs with her as his head turns to face her. "Really? That's the day?"
"Yeah!" Elli says with enthusiasm. "It's what you said, I just really like that."
"I'm glad." Parker chuckles as he licks his lips. "It was a good day."
"It was the start a of a beautiful friendship." Elli smiles beams and Parker swears she's putting those stars to shame.
"We're good together." Parker states with a cheesy grin.
"Yeah, yeah we are." Elli agrees, moving back to lay on his chest.
Parker sighs, eyes set on the stars and he hopes their names really are written in them. He hopes they aren't just star-crossed lovers and he'll be able to say it. They could be unstoppable together and he knows it. It's so clear that it's screaming at him but he just can't bring himself to say it, not here. Maybe, just maybe it would be a good place and a good time but maybe it would be horrible. If she doesn't feel the same, it'll be like he ruined this spot and he can't do that to her. She almost died yesterday and he can't ruin it but she almost died and she could die tomorrow so why is he stuck wasting his time not saying anything?
And that's when the song changes to Without You Here by Life On Repeat and he's just staring at the stars as if they've sent him some sort of sign as to what he should do. The vocalist is incredible and that's what initially drew him to the song but it's the lyrics that make him play it on repeat, that made him learn it and make his own cover of it. It reminds him of Elli, always has and always will. So, he won't say it here but he will when they get back.
Elli and Parker find themselves in perfect silence besides the music over the next half hour, just enjoying the time as they can. But, the night does come to an end with the temperature steadily dropping. Parker helps Elli from the hood of the car and into the passenger seat before he takes his seat and starts the drive back to their apartment.
Elli, she was more talkative than she was the whole day but Parker? He's lost in his own train of thought while he watches the road. He's trying to listen to Elli, he is but his mind is stuck on how he's gonna tell her. How does anyone tell their best friend they're in love with them? Realistically, Parker would want to do something like he tried to do before. Fairy lights and movie nights but after yesterday, he just needs to say it. But he's terrified. He is so scared that he's going to say it and she's going to turn him down. That it will change everything between them, not just the benefits of their friendship but them. Elli is a great person, she's the best in Parker's eyes but maybe him being in love with her could be too much for her. Maybe she just won't love him anymore and it's gonna hurt. Then again, what if she loves him, too?
They get back to their apartment and Elli is hopping along with her crunches, Parker right behind her. She's making her way around the kitchen, going to one of the cabinets and Parker just pauses. Elli's rambling about wanting something to eat but not knowing what because they hadn't gone shopping and Parker's heart is just beating so fast he can hardly breathe. And he can feel himself almost choking on his breath as he watches her and he just can't take it anymore.
"I love you." Parker croaks out and Elli doesn't so much as glance over her shoulder at him.
"I love you, too." She says nonchalantly as she continues to look through the cabinets.
Parker's eyes begin to gloss over as he shakes his head, mouth running dry. "No," His voice is almost raw as the word comes out, grabbing Elli's full attention.
She turns to look at him and her heart skips a beat with the look on his face. Parker sucks in a shaky and terrified breath as he tries to get the words out. His lip trembles and there's no going back after this. He can't just take it back. He can't unring this bell. Once he says it, it is out there and there's nothing he can do. He loves her and he wants her to love him, too so much that it's physically painful to stand there and look at her.
"I'm in love with you." Parker finally finishes his statement with a ragged breath.