They made plans to go out the following Friday, which gave Lawson enough time to mentally prepare himself, and provided him with plenty of opportunities to harass Sean, who refused to tell him where they were going. They still spent a lot of time at the library studying, working on both calculus and Sean's paper writing skills, but- and this was completely Lawson's fault- their conversation happened to stray more than usual, due to his endless curiosity. All he wanted was a hint, just a little piece of information to help him make a guess as to where they were going, but every time he asked Sean gave him a secretive little smile that Lawson wanted to kiss off his face. He never did.
There was one time though, when Lawson asked what to wear, when Sean gave him a kind of hint. "Wear sweatpants or jeans or something because it will probably be cold". Unsurprisingly, that didn't help him much, so when he got dressed on Friday, he put on a pair of jeans and a hoodie, and still had no idea where they were going.
Lawson let Sean drive, which the other boy seemed happy about, and their fingers stayed linked the entire way, hands resting on the top of Sean's jean-clad thigh.
"Are you going to tell me where we're going?" Lawson asked, turning the volume of the techno music down in the car. Sean shot him a look out of the corner of his eye, and then his head shook.
"Wasn't the point of me driving to keep this whole surprise thing going longer?" He asked, and Lawson frowned, because the point of having Sean drive was so Lawson could look at him and not have the two of them die.
"Ah, right," Lawson mumbled, and Sean's fingers squeezed his.
"We're almost there," Sean assured.
The rest of their ride was done in comfortable silence, their hands still tightly grasped and Lawson's lip sucked between his teeth, biting down in anticipation.
Six or so minutes later, Sean pulled into a parking lot with one other car in it and shut off the car. The building was unfamiliar to Lawson, and he leaned forward to look through the window at the sign about the door. "We're going... ice skating?"
"Yes," Sean confirmed, and then he paused and turned towards Lawson. "Is that okay? I promise I'll get you food afterwards-"
"Sean, it's perfect," Lawson assured, grinning. "I mean, I'm going to embarrass myself like crazy, but I'd like to learn, and I'm guessing that you'll be a pretty good teacher. Just... don't laugh when I bust my shit".
"You'll be fine. Come on," Sean urged, pulling his hand away so he could climb out of the car. Lawson scrambled out as well, not nearly as graceful, and joined Sean at the front of the car, taking his hand again.
Sean handled everything, since Lawson was kind of out of his element. He checked them in, rented them skates, and even tied Lawson's when he failed to do so twice. "You must think I'm helpless".
"I think you're cute," Was Sean's response as he finished tying the laces. His hands lingered on Lawson's calf for a moment, and he just looked up at him. "You know, I'm actually really nervous right now".
"You are?" Lawson asked, surprised because he wasn't. That is, he wasn't until Sean's confession, which stirred something in side his stomach because oh my god, he's already not having a good time. "Uh... why? Am I that scary?"
Sean laughed. "No, not scary. That's not it at all. It's just... I haven't gone on a first date until I was a sophomore in high school," he admitted. "I guess I don't remember what's expected".
Without pause, Lawson reached over and cupped Sean's face, one of his thumbs brushing over Sean's cheek bones. "If I'm being perfectly honest, this is my first first date ever, so I don't have any expectations". Sean's eyes closed, eyelashes fluttering, and then he was standing, catching Lawson's hand as it fell and also pulling him to his feet. "This feels weird," he said, looking down at the black skates.
"Yeah. Does for me too. Hockey skates are a little different, and these blades are thinner".
"Does that mean I'll get to see you fall over too?" Lawson asked, and Sean chuckled pulling Lawson towards the rink, walking backwards with careful steps. It was just the two of them, and Lawson wondered if that was a convenience, or is Sean had something to do with it.
"Don't sound so hopeful".
"Well it would be kind of entertaining," Lawson claimed. Sean stopped at the entrance of the rink and dropped Lawson's hands to take off his the blade guards. It became clear to Lawson that Sean was not in fact going to fall when the boy stepped backwards onto the ice without breaking eye contact. Gracefully, he pushed himself backwards a few feet before gliding forwards again. "Is that as easy as you make it look?"
"Why don't you come and find out?" Sean taunted, and Lawson eyes the ice for a moment before huffing and bending down to take the guards off of his skates. He set them down next to Sean's, and then took a hesitant step forward, and then another. "You good?"
Sean closed the distance between them and grabbed Lawson's forearms. "I think so. I'm kind of afraid to move if I'm being honest".
"Ah, I got you," Sean promised, still holding Lawson's forearms as he picked up his feet and began pushing them backwards. Surprised, Lawson's hands shot out to wrap around Sean's forearms as well, gripping so tight that the boy's skin turned white.
"I don't know how I'm supposed to move," Lawson claimed, watching Sean's feet. Still, it didn't make much sense how he just seemed to glide with effortless movements.
"Just push off a little bit, but not too much or you'll slip," Sean advised and Lawson scoffed.
"It's a good thing you're going to be a math teacher and not an ice skating teacher because that made no sense". Sean threw his head back and laughed, and the loosened his hands on Lawson's forearms and started to pull away. "Woah, what are you doing?"
"I'm letting you go".
"But I'm going to fall," Lawson protested, and Sean shook his head.
"I will catch you," Sean assured, and Lawson showed his doubt with a look. "I'll try".
"That's not very reassuring, Sean," Lawson grumbled, but he allowed his own arms to fall to his sides, letting Sean move away from him. "I'm just going to stand here".
"You are not," Sean insisted. "Just keep most of your weight on the balls of your feet and take small steps. You're athletic. You'll be fine".
"You have too much faith in me," Lawson accused, but he still followed Sean's instruction, managing to push himself towards the other boy as Sean moved backwards away from him.
"See?" Sean asked, and Lawson nodded.
"Yeah, I think so- ah fuck," and then he was looking at the ceiling instead of at Sean, and the other boy was laughing hysterically. "You said you'd catch me!" He wasn't really mad, actually on the verge of laughing himself, and Sean must have noticed that when he skated to stand at Lawson's feet. "Help me up. It's cold down here".
Sean obeyed, grabbing both of his hands to pull him up, and once he was back on his feet, Sean dropped one hand and laced their fingers together with the other. "Okay, I'll actually catch you next time". He chuckled then again. "That might have been the funniest thing I've ever seen".
"Such a jerk".
"It won't happen again," Sean assured, voice still light with amusement. Slowly, he began to skate at a pace Lawson could follow, and they set off around the edge of the rink.
"Why'd you start playing hockey?" Lawson asked, looking down at his feet to keep himself from stumbling.
"It's always been a part of my family," Sean admitted, voice just about a whisper and Lawson raised his head to look at him. The second he did, he of course tripped, but true to his word Sean caught him and didn't let go until Lawson gave him a confident nod. "For Christmas every year we'd go to our uncles house and he'd have a rink in his backyard from flooding with his hose and we'd play a game. It's just what we've always done, since I was a kid, and then at some point it occurred to my parents that my brother and I were actually pretty good, especially when we were paired together, and they signed us up for the local youth league, and we eventually moved up to the adult league and played with them when we weren't playing for our high school. It's just kind of what we did, it was our thing. We were even the captain and vice captain our senior year of the team".
"Really?" Lawson asked, but it wasn't really a question as much as it was a sound to show he was impressed. "Which were you?"
"Vice captain," Sean responded. "I'm glad I wasn't captain. Chase was really good at it. I mean... he was fantastic". The look on Sean's face told Lawson he desperately missed his brother.
"You know, you haven't really told me much about him," Lawson pointed out, and Sean shot him a surprised look before grinning.
"I haven't, Have I? Well, he looks just like me," Lawson chuckled softly at the joke. "Honestly, we're nothing alike. I'm the calm and rational one while Chase is the loud and excitable one, but it makes for a good balance. He's my best friend, and when I say that people always say that your brother can't be your best friend, but that just tells me that they don't understand how close we are".
Lawson hummed, glancing down at his feet. They were moving a bit faster than before, but still slow enough that Lawson could maintain not slipping. "You miss him". It wasn't a question, but a statement, but Sean still nodded and answered.
"Yeah. I mean, of course I do, but if I'm being honest, it's gotten more bearable lately, thanks to a certain someone who demands much of my time," Sean teased, squeezing his hand.
"Are you complaining?"
"Of course not," Sean assured. "Your the main reason why I like it so much here, Lawson. You'll receive no complaints from me". Lawson's face grew pleasantly hot at this, and Sean seemed pleased. "So, do you not go home often? When you were having brunch with your family last weekend Nathan said something about your mom forcing you to come home".
"Nate said that?" Lawson questioned, surprised. "I didn't realize he actually listened when I spoke".
"Well, you should probably be careful because it seems that he does," the blue eyed boy advised.
"Right. But yeah, I really don't go home often, but not because I'm trying to get away or avoid my family or anything. I'm just trying to give my step parents the space they need but won't ask for to take care of the girls. It's hard having two four year olds, and especially since Cyble has Von Willebrand's. I just needed to not be in the way for a little bit," Lawson explained, and Sean made a face.
"Cyble has what?"
For a moment, Lawson was silent, surprised that he had yet to share this information with Sean after weeks of them spending time together, but then he cleared his throat. "Oh, Cyble has type three Von Willebrand's disease. It's kind of like hemophilia, but more severe. Just at random times she'll start bleeding and need infusions to get it to stop. It's really stressful on my parents and it just gives them another thing to worry about so I don't want them to be concerned about me".
"Wow," Sean vocalized. "I guess I never knew that was a thing".
"Most people don't, really. It's pretty rare. But anyways, that's why I haven't been going home much. I am going back tomorrow though for the afternoon since the girls have a school dance recital and Luna cried when my mom said I wouldn't be there. I'm actually really exciting for it. I love these kinds of things," Lawson admitted with a small laugh. "And, it's their first year in school so it's the first one and I figured it doesn't hurt to go".
"It'll be cute," Sean agreed, skating a little faster to get enough distance between him and Lawson so he could turn to face him, moving backwards instead. "That's a good way to spend a Saturday. I was sadly asked to work".
"Do you dislike it?"
Sean shrugged, but didn't answer, instead looking down at Lawson's feet. "I told you it wouldn't be hard for you". Their hands parted, and Sean quickly skated away, back to the entrance of the rink. Very slowly, Lawson followed him.
" Where are you going?" He questioned, leaning on the wall of the rink as Sean moved to a supply closet and pushed it open. Without answering, he disappeared inside, and Lawson considered getting off the ice to go see what he was doing- he was worried that once he got off he'd forget how to move his feet and fall again- but before he could Sean was reamerging, this time with two hockey sticks in one hand, and a puck in the other. Lawson just looked at him for a minute before saying, "you're going to kill me".
"I am not. I'm gonna show you my sport just like you showed me yours, and you're going to be bad at it, just like I'm bad at tennis, and I'll still think you're cute afterwards," Sean explained, coming back over to him and holding one of the sticks out of him. "Come on".
Lawson looked at him for a moment before taking the stick from his hands. "If I can score off of you, I get to pay for dinner".
"If you score off of me, which you won't, we'll talk about it".
***
Lawson didn't score. What he did do though was call Sean a bad name, try to hit him with the stick, and then wipe out, somehow taking the other boy down with him, and then they laid there and laughed until they were cold and hungry and Sean was grinning with victory.
Upon Lawson request, they didn't end up anywhere super fancy, but Sean seemed fine in the old diner, the one Lawson had pointed out to him all those days ago on their tour of the area. "You used to come here a lot?" Sean asked, looking around as Lawson dragged his fingers over the other boy's palm, tracing the skin with soft fingers.
"They have good burgers," Lawson responded, lightly scratching at Sean's scar. The other boy turned back to him, looking at their hands in the center of the table and turning his so Lawson had better access to his palm.
"You're not getting French toast?"
"Not tonight. I can't eat French toast after five". Sean laughed at this and ducked to press his forehead against Lawson hands. It was a little weird, the two of them acting like they'd been together forever. They were being so casual with touching one another, while first dates were typically more timid- or so Lawson had been told- but it just felt natural to raise one of his hands and push it through Sean's hair, so he did.
"That feels nice," Sean said quietly, so Lawson curled a fist in his hair and tugged. With a groan and then a chuckle, Sean reached up and pulled Lawson's hand from his hair, tangling their fingers together instead. "Do you feel it?"
It might have seemed like a strange question, but Lawson knew exactly what he was talking about, and nodded his head in confirmation. Do you feel it? The pleasant zap every time their skin grazed one another, the warmth that spread throughout Lawson's body when Sean lifted their hands and brushed Lawson's knuckles over his lips. "Yeah, I do. Is that normal? I've never..."
"I haven't either, you know, and I had a boyfriend for a year and a half".
"Ah yes," Lawson said, "is that something that people talk about on first dates? Previous conquests and such?"
Sean hummed, and lifted his head as the waiter came to take their orders. If he was surprised by the sight of their joint hands, it didn't show, and he left a minute later without pause.
"Well," Sean began, leaning back in his chair but keeping their hands clasped. "We could talk about it, but if I'm being honest, it's not something I like discussing, and I don't think it really affects the two of us much".
Something like guiltily relief filled Lawson, because he wanted to tell Sean about Nathan, but was terrified of what the other boy would say in response. "Okay," Lawson agreed softly, and Sean's eyebrows raised a little at something in his tone, so instead Lawson quickly said, "so we can talk about us then. I've been meaning to ask you when you started liking me".
Sean looked sheepish. "You'd think you grinding all over me was the turning point, but it was actually before that. I think I started liking you that day we got coffee, but then I realized I really liked you when I saw you and Nathan together that first time, when I was working, and I was disappointed thinking that you were already taken," Sean admitted, which was very sweet, but Lawson had fixated on only one part of his confession. "What? Your eyes got all wide".
"I grinded on you?" He asked, completely horrified. Sean chortled, bringing his free hand up to cover his mouth.
"Well what did you think we meant by dancing and erotic experience".
"Oh my god," he groaned, pulling his hand away from Sean to cover his face instead. It never really occurred to him that dancing together meant physically being that close. In Lawson mind, he had thought they were saying that he had danced in proximity to one another in ways that appeared erotic. "Oh. My. God".
"Like I said," Sean began, reaching forwards across the table and grabbing Lawson's wrists to pull them away from his face. The waiter returned with their drinks, but once again he didn't seem alarmed, setting the glasses down on the edge of the table to not disturb them. He wandered away, and Lawson thought about how he'd leave him a big tip- and yes, he would be the one paying the tip even if Sean protested. "I didn't mind".
"Of course you didn't. You were the one I was grinding on," Lawson grumbled and Sean smiled a little.
"Well that's true". Lawson sighed, taking both of Sean's hands again. "So, when did you start liking me then?"
"Oh". It wasn't something Lawson had really thought about before, but he should have expected the question since he had asked it of Sean. "Well... I don't remember a specific moment or anything. Just... since the beginning, I think".
If Sean was surprised, it didn't show. All he did in response was lean down to kiss Lawson's fingertips before smiling at up him.
***
They returned to the dorm around seven, and Lawson could hear Wesley and Del shuffling around on the other side of the door, so they didn't go in. Of course, Sean had insisted on walking him up to his room.
Not ready to say goodbye quite yet, they simply stood on the hallway, talking about pointless things for the purpose of keeping the other entertained for as long as possible. Eventually though, Sean checked his watch and said, "I was supposed to call Chase four minutes ago".
"Ahh, you should go then. I don't want to keep him waiting".
Sean smiled, took a step forwards to hastily press his lips to Lawson cheek, and whispered a quiet, "Have a nice night," before pulling away.
Confused, Lawson watched him go. He wasn't exactly sure of what to expect at the end of a date, but he had been prepared for kissing, on the mouth, for sure. Slowly, he unlocked his door and entered his room, ignoring Del and Wesley, who were arguing about something amongst themselves in a way that told Lawson neither of them were really mad.
With a huff, Lawson dropped down into his bed, wondering if he had done something wrong, or if he was simply reading too much into it.