I awoke to the scent of pancakes and eggs. I sat up in my bed, just sitting staring at the four walls that contained me. They were filled with paintings and posters that gave me comfort and happiness when I needed it. Yet, right now I had the urge to rip them all down to burn, watching them turn into ashes.
Slowly I lifted my aching body from the bed. Walking home wasn't the best ideal, but laying in bed all day being depressed does nothing for me. And I have to find Rade. He doesn't take situations like these well. My stomach grumbled and I sighed. So I began to follow the scent of food in the kitchen and I spotted Rade sitting at the counter..... And Camren.
The relief I felt was overwhelming. Heated tears sprung to my eyes as I captured her in a tight embrace causing her to whimper lowly. Instantly, I let go and grasped as I examined her. Her face was burdened with a black eye that I assume she got last night. And bits of copper skin I could see was decorated with bruises. Words would fail to comfort her. So instead I lifted her lowered head and kissed her swollen left eye. I pulled back to see her eyes filled with glistening tears.
I wasn't going to ask what happened. I never have and I never will ask. She will tell me if she wants, if she can. Rade gets up and leaves out the kitchen.
"You guys always get so upset when you see me like this." She murmured as she fixed plates.
"That's because your pain is our pain. We love y-you." I whispered with a swollen throat as I tried to control my tears.
"I know that. But this is something I won't have to deal with for long. I know it hurts him to see this, but he has to calm down. He already has enough going on."
"We are all going through a lot. You know how we feel about you specifically though." I whispered.
"I know. Can you please go talk to him. I cooked for a reason and I know you can make him feel much better versus me." She said with a small smile.
"What are you talkin-"
"Don't be so oblivious Ty. Just go talk to him and hurry back. The food will get cold." She said waving me off as she started to clean the dirty dishes.
I made my way back to my bedroom. As I walked in, I could see him holding his head in his hands. I sat in the chair I pulled in front of him and lifted his head.
I ignored the piercing stab to my heart from the sight of his tears that he quickly tried to hide from me. I began to feel my own eyes tears gather as I swiped them away.
"Why does she act so nonchalant about it? Why does her mom not do anything? It's not fucking fair. She could possibly end up fucking dead if he goes too far. It's not healthy to just let things go like that."
"You know how she is and your right. But that's why she has us. We will help her, but for right now, you come on down and eat."
"I'm not hungry." He muttered.
"You know she gets offended when you say that because your fat ass is always hungry." I said. And he gave me a small smile.
*******
The sun was setting and Camren was already knocked out in my bed. Rade and I were still down stairs. We were seated on the floor wrapped in covers with popcorn, wings and pizza on the table watching scary movies. The last couple of days has been hell, yet a simple night like this with them were all I need to feel better.
"Oh my fucking God!" I cried as I tried to hold back my tears.
"What's wrong princess?" Rade said concerned as he looked around trying to find the source of my outrage.
"You ate the last buffalo wing bro." I wined as I folded my arms with anger. He rolled his eyes as he let out a small laugh.
"You're really going to pout about a wing when you see all those wings right there." He said through his fit of giggles as he waved his hand towards the plates of wings.
"I don't like lemon peppered wings and barbeque wings are good, but I love buffalo wings. You're a monster!" I cried as I began to hit him rapidly. And all he could do was laugh making me madder. After a while, he trapped me into his arms to stop my attack.
"I'm sorry princess. Are you still mad at me?" He said lowly into my ear. I gulped in air as I took in his close proximity. I cleared my throat and slid off of his lap.
"I guess." I whispered as I glued my eyes back to the movie. But, I guess my answer wasn't good enough for him. He grabbed my chin and turned my face towards his. Those beautiful eyes of his landed on my lips.
"I'm serious. Don't be mad at me." He murmured.
"I'm not." I squeaked out. My eyes lowered to his lips just in time to see his tongue dart out and licked them. I let out a strangled whimper and I instantly regret it. I can't believe I let him hear that, but what came next surprised me even more.
"Fuck it." I heard him mumbled and I felt his soft lips connect with mine just for one second before the door bell rang causing me to jump from his grasp. He threw his head back in annoyance causing me to smile and heart fluttered. I hurried to the door opening it and I frozen. My heart stopped. I was trying my hardest not to freak out.
"Hey, can we talk." Jay said. He stood in front of me with jeans and a hoody.
"No, go away." I said trying to close the door, but his foot stopped me.
"Please Ty. I just want to talk with you." He pleaded. I opened the door back up.
"Talk for what. We could have talked after dinner. Oh wait, you didn't give a fuck. You let me walk fucking home. You were hiding me. You lied to me about your parents. Your RACIST parents!" I said losing control of my temper.
"Ty just please listen. Look that's why I've been putting it off. I know how my parents are. Honestly their opinions don't matter to me. I only allowed you to meet them to please you. I love you so much. You can't even grasp how much I do. I didn't come after you because they took my keys and threaten to call the cops on me if I came after you on foot. So I snuck out tonight to see you. Baby I don't want to lose you." He whispered the last part while a tear slid down his face. I felt guilt overwhelm me. Did I over react?
"You could have just told me from the beginning to avoid all of this." I whispered.
"If I would have told you then you probably wouldn't even have given me a chance." He said. After that we stayed quiet for awhile.
"Can I make it up to you? Please, just give me one more chance to prove to you that I love you." He began to plead once again. I sighed. He has a point. He has no control over his parents and I shouldn't judge him based on his parents.
"You have one more shot. If you fuck it up, then consider us over."
"Thank you baby." He whispered and gave me a small smile.
"Ty what the fuck is going on." A voice boomed. I turned to see Rade standing behind me with crossed arms. Knowing him, he was probably listening.
"You're really going to give this asshole a chance. He lied to you. Let you walk home alone. Something could have happened to you." He was most definitely listening.
"I know. But did you hear why he did though." I said trying to get him to see reason.
"I don't give a fuck about the excuses he is trying to give you right now Ty. If it was me then I would have told you from the get go and then I would have proven to you that you're all that matters not my parents thoughts. If it was me, then I would never allow my people to disrespect you like that, to make you feel like you did. If it was me, I would have spent a night in jail knowing that I made sure my girl gotten home safely even on foot. But he wouldn't go to those extents for you Ty. He never will."
"Enough Rade!" I screamed. "He isn't you. And just because he doesn't do the crazy shit you do, doesn't mean he doesn't love me. You are always bashing him and I'm tired of it." I yelled huffing now out of breath. I looked up to his face and I could see so much hurt in his eyes. I've never felt so guilty in my life before. I shouldn't have yelled at him.
"Rade I'm s-"
"I'm leaving." He said abruptly going to collect his things. He went around me, making his way out the door and stopped.
"Oh and Ty. It's not the crazy shit that I would do. It's the crazy shit anyone would do if they truly loved someone." Those were his last words before he vanished into the night. I sent Jay home shortly after that.
Tonight didn't end well for me. I didn't have him here with me. I climbed the stairs and laid in bed with Camren who was woken by the yelling. I didn't have to say anything. She just pulled me into her arms as I cried myself to sleep.