"Has it always been this cold in here?" Clara asked as the Doctor led her through the threshold of the TARDIS.
His brow raised at the question, concentrating all of his energy on delicately guiding her towards the seat as if she would shatter at any moment. "Ah, yes. I've been meaning to fix that," he lied. He helped to situate her on the cushioned chair, then headed through the door into her flat once again. "Make yourself at home. I'll only be a minute!" he called from outside.
She took the momentary time to herself to scan the familiar room for anything that might have been out of sorts since the last time she was on board. So many memories, this place, she thought as she reminisced every encounter both within the ship and wherever she had taken her. It had become a part of her heart, the missing piece to the puzzle that was her existence. She couldn't imagine what her life would've been like had the Doctor not shown up on the doorstep of the Maitland household that day. She wouldn't even be alive if it weren't for him. Her consciousness would have been lost inside the digital world for all of eternity without him there to pull her out of it. The woman she used to be was consumed by the never-ending desire to travel the world, filling the pages of her scrapbook with her extraordinary journey into self-discovery and exploration. He offered her the universe.
Upon her observations, she noticed the work table, normally reserved for engineering all of his oddly structured gadgets and inventions, had been repurposed as a drawing board for several dozen sketches and mathematical calculations. Her curiosity got the better of her and she stood to gain a better look at his project. Sifting through the pages, she encountered numerous models of planets and solar systems charted throughout the galaxy. Each location had been given a precise numerical equation and symbol beside it. "What have you been doing in here?" she called.
After a few moments, he re-entered through the door, holding a travel bag full of maternity clothes and the warmest throw blanket he could find. "I wasn't sure what you would need." He gestured to the articles in his hands. "I hope these will be sufficient." He placed the bag on the floor and began unfolding the blanket.
"What is all this?" she repeated, holding the drawings up to the light.
"Ah, I see you've discovered my battle plans," he answered, gracefully placing the blanket over her shoulders.
"Have you been scheming to start a war I don't know about?"
"We're already at war, and I intend to stay one step ahead of it." He moved to the table and spread the pages in front of him. "According to the charts lining the walls of Quynn's battle-room, these are the exact locations of her bases of operation."
"Did you seriously memorise all of this from just one glance?"
"Of course I did. What else did you expect me to do while she tangentially rambled on about herself, make tea?"
"What are you planning to do?"
"In order to gain an advantage over her forces, I'll need to disrupt the inner workings of her infrastructures. Even if it means I have to take them out one by one. The weaker her hold on the planets she controls, the easier it will be to bring her down."
"And this is what you needed my help with? To go into battle with you? Have you seen me lately?" She gestured to her appearance.
"No, no. Your job is much more important. And far less dangerous," he assured her.
"What did you have in mind?" she asked. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a pair of small audio devices, and held them in front of him. "Let me see if I've got this right," she began, hesitantly taking one from his open hand. "You want me to stay here on the TARDIS while you charge straight onto the battlefield, alone?"
"Precisely. I need you to be my eyes and ears. We have no idea what could be out there, what dangers we may face. This is the best alternative we have for keeping you safe."
"And what about you? What if you end up getting yourself killed out there?"
"The TARDIS safety features will be activated in the event of my death. She will take you back home and dematerialise, hiding herself away so she doesn't fall into the wrong hands."
Clara sighed and brought her fingers to her temples in mild frustration. It certainly wasn't the first time she considered his reckless plans to be positively suicidal, and it wouldn't be the last either. "And what about the TARDIS? Isn't she still being tracked? Won't they know we are coming?"
"Ah, I've thought about that." Heading to the console, he pressed a few buttons on its interface, then grabbed a handle-like apparatus and pulled it towards him. The time machine suddenly shifted its power as the emergency lighting activated and flashed all around them.
"What are you doing?"
"I'm switching off the safeguards, turning off the navigation computer."
"Right, okay. And why are we doing that, exactly?"
"If I had to guess, I would say Quynn has been tracking our movements via a tracer attached to the nav-com. It must be broadcasting our time vortex signature directly to her and she's been using it to follow us through the wake we leave behind. I'm simply interrupting the broadcast. The TARDIS is equipped with certain safety measures to ensure flight is still possible in the event the navigation computer became damaged. Remember, we've done this before. We plugged you into the TARDIS telepathic interface."
"You mean the squishy thing?"
"Clara. This is the most advanced ship in the entire universe, equipped with more scientific technology than any other race in the galaxy will ever possess. She's a living, breathing machine able to psychically translate millions of languages directly into your mind. The sheer complexity of her very existence and capabilities would take me an entire lifetime just to explain to you." He removed a panel from the console, revealing the gel-like material that formed its telepathic interface. "And yes, the squishy thing."
"Doctor," she started as he headed to the table to look over his plans, "exactly how do you intend to take out her forces? We've seen their defences. We know how powerful they are. Do you honestly believe you'll defeat them all by running straight onto battle, armed with only a screwdriver?"
"Every army has its weakness. The key is simply finding it before they discover yours."
She sighed concededly and accepted his mind had already been made. "Are you sure about this? What if Quynn is there waiting for us? What if this plan of yours doesn't work? What then, Doctor?"
He sighed and turned to face his companion. The emotions he protected inside himself were bleeding out. The more he tried to bandage them, the larger the wound had become. The greatest truth he had always been haunted by was the fear of failure, both in himself and anyone who had ever counted on him. The fear of failing his title when challenged by the never-ending threats that seemed to find him at every turn. And yet, there wasn't a single thing that could compare to the fear of losing the one person he loved most of all. The fear of not being able to protect her from the dangers of the universe, nor even himself. As she looked upon him with considerable apprehension in her gaze, he couldn't help but feel defenceless against each passing moment as if it would be her last. Attempting to raise her spirits with calming conversation seemed even more irrelevant the closer they came to fighting back against the unknown dangers they now faced.
"I wish I could tell you there is nothing to worry about. That I could guarantee our success. For all I know, this could very well be the single most devastating risk I've ever had to take. As hard as it has been for me to admit, you were right. Whatever your fate may be cannot be avoided, nor can it be predicted. But that doesn't mean we have to sit here and allow it to happen without a fight." He approached her slowly, suddenly breaking free of the petrified state keeping him bolted him to the floor. His words grew more intense as he drew closer. "I will not allow the mistakes I've made define who I am or what I am capable of. There are people out there suffering and it is all because of me. The universe is being torn apart. History is being rewritten. It all comes down to one small moment, one fixed point in time occurring over and over again. Every action that has been taken, every word that has been said, even this very conversation. It has all happened before. A continuous loop. An infinite amount of scenarios all leading to the same outcome."
She felt so small in front of him as he towered over her, trapping her between himself and the console. "I don't understand," she started, almost too afraid to speak. "What do you mean this has happened before?" She could sense tension rising between them at their closeness. She felt both cornered and protected at the same time. A strange combination of uncertainty.
He grinned at the question. It had been far too long since he was last able to explain the laws of time and the universe to anyone. He removed himself from her personal space and quickly headed to the upper platform. His thoughts were bursting their way out in all directions. "Every causal loop is caused by an unchanging, self-originating constant. Some thing that must exist simply because it has to. Time travel can be a very tricky, very dangerous thing if you don't know what you're doing." He hurried along the railing and stopped at the familiar stone bust of a man which sat on a small table near one of the bookshelves. "Take, for instance, Ludwig van Beethoven here," he employed her, delicately placing his arm around the shoulder of the bust as if they were long-time friends.
"The composer?" she asked with mild confusion.
"No, the astronaut. Of course the composer! Now, let us also imagine there is a man who has a time machine."
"I'll give it a go."
"Up and down history he goes, getting into scrapes. Another thing he has is a passion for the works of Beethoven. And one day he thinks to himself, 'What's the point of having a time machine if you don't get to meet your heroes?' So off he goes to eighteenth-century Germany before the very thought of a musical masterpiece was even a figment inside the composer's mind. But, when he gets there, he discovers Ludwig has fallen upon dark times and refuses to ever compose another piece again. This didn't happen, by the way. I've met Beethoven. Nice chap, very intense, loved an arm-wrestle. No, this is called the Bootstrap Paradox. Google it. The time traveller panics. He can't bear the thought of a world without the music of Beethoven. Luckily, he'd brought all of his sheet music for Ludwig to sign. So he copies out all the concertos and symphonies, then promises to give the composer back his inspiration if he passes off the music as his own. Ludwig accepts and history continues with barely a feather ruffled. Until one day, those copies reach the time traveller's future self which prompts him to travel back in time to meet his hero. A never-ending loop. But my question is this. Who originally put those notes and phrases together? Who really composed Beethoven's Fifth?"
"You're doing that thing with your face again," she informed him through her puzzled expression.
"What 'thing'?"
"That look you give when you're trying to explain something that makes my head go fuzzy."
"It's called a smile, Clara. It's what people do. Or so I've heard."
"Right, wouldn't want anyone to see passed your clever disguise. Anyway, what exactly does Beethoven have anything to do with us?"
"Nothing, and everything!" he exclaimed, descending the stairs. "All this time I've been blaming myself for picking up the phone, for believing myself to be solely responsible for what has happened. But I've realised my focus has been concentrated in the wrong place. In the end, it doesn't matter who wrote the music. Only that it exists." He felt himself being pulled towards her as he approached. The force that bound them together was unmistakable. The connection between them could never be simplified to emotion alone. They were two parts of the same mixture. No matter what they had experienced in the past, there was an unbreakable trust uniting them. A trust he could see in her eyes even then as he stood as close to her as physics would allow it. "Whatever has happened to us may never have a true beginning, nor an end. The only certain thing is the existence of the constant that binds us together. A constant which now rests between us, quite literally." He smiled and peered down the length of his companion to where her body met his.
"So you're saying all of this is her fault? That she has trapped us in this loop, or whatever it is, forever?" she asked, placing a hand on her middle.
He snickered and rested his hand atop her own. "Not even born yet and already a troublemaker," he teased, maintaining his grin.
"She must take after you then," she replied with a smirk.
"If we ever make it out of this alive, I'd expect we're going to have our hands full." He made his way towards the console's telepathic interface.
Her smile faded at his words, regardless of how harmless his intentions were. There was more truth to that statement than she even realised. A great cloud of doubt arose over his hubris in their success of this potentially suicidal mission. What if he was right? What if none of what they were trying to accomplish would even matter in the end? There was no way to know if this plan of his had already been tried and failed a hundred times before. No way to tell if they would be altering their daughter's future or simply allowing it to happen. What if there was no way out?
The Doctor rubbed his hands together in preparation for their departure, then hovered them over the interface as he looked to her for support. "Are you ready?" he asked nervously. The reluctance in her nod was as transparent as the room they stood in. He couldn't help reminiscing over the liveliness she once displayed whenever they embarked on a new adventure. It was as if the fire inside of her had been left to die out. He took a deep breath and lowered his hands towards the gel-like interface.
"Doctor, wait," she spoke, freezing him in place as she placed her hand on his forearm. "We'll do it together."
He braved a smile her way, then closed his eyes and dipped his fingertips into the cool substance below. He concentrated his thoughts towards their destination, allowing his mind to focus on a singular image. His senses began to paint a picture of the tangible dampness of the controls, the feel of its material on his bare skin, the grip of her fingers around his arm, the rhythm of her heart beating through her palm. He tried to ignore the distractions surrounding him and his concern for his companion's wilted form. To land safely at the correct location, his mind must be completely relieved of any attachments held inside of his aching hearts. The gel forming around his fingers connected to every fibre of his skin as if they were the same being. He thought about where they needed to go, what they needed to accomplish, and above all, the importance of being successful in their mission. As he focused on the image of the planet in his mind, sending it through the interface like coordinates on a map, his thoughts were interrupted by the strong vision of his fetal daughter calling to him through her mother's touch. His mind was redirected towards the love he shared for her and his determination to save her so that one day he could hold her in his arms.
His eyes flew open at the sound of the time rotor starting up. The mechanisms inside the centre chamber ascended and descended into itself. A look of concern passed over his face at his lack of concentration during the interlinking process. There was no way to know if the destination had been correctly received by the interface. The only certain thing was the TARDIS had materialised into action as her signature time-travelling clattered chorus sounded all around them. He hastily shifted his focus toward his friend. The look of surprise confined in his expression was matched only by her uneasiness of what they were about to encounter once they had landed. "I'm suddenly having my doubts about this," he admitted.
"Well, the TARDIS seems to think she knows where she's going," she countered, trying to remain positive.
"One can only hope."
********************
Messaline, 6012
The TARDIS landed abruptly at her psychically charted destination, despite the Doctor's distracted thoughts leading the way. He found himself amazed the ship had located their new point of interest, yet intrigued by the endless possibilities awaiting him outside the safety of his blue box. Having disabled most of the safety control systems, it was as if he had wandered blindly into a dark and dangerous jungle armed with only his bare hands. Checking the view-screen, he raised a curious brow as the surrounding elements on the outside appeared familiar, though he could not determine where or when he had seen them before. A series of underground tunnels encased them inside of its jagged stone walls. With the safeguards and nav-com turned off, it was impossible to determine what potential lifeforms were lingering outside. Had it not been for his undying thirst for discovery and ever-increasing eagerness to explore their new surroundings, he would have forced himself to revise his previous coordinates without the unpredictability of his wandering mind. However, distractions aside, the TARDIS must have had some reason for bringing them there while his consciousness was interlinked within her interface.
"This is it, yeah?" Clara glanced over his shoulder towards the screen.
"Only one way to know for certain." He tried his best to sound confident as he placed the small audio device into his ear.
"I suppose there's no point in trying to talk you out of this, is there?" She remained hopeful he'd change his mind as she plugged the second device into her ear.
"You'll be able to see everything I see from right here." He ignored her predictably disquieted glance as he pointed to the screen. "With the nav-com offline, we won't be alerted to the presence of other lifeforms. So I'll need you to monitor the TARDIS surveillance system and keep an eye out for any potential threats."
"Sounds easy enough. So I'm basically your spy."
"Aren't you the lucky one?" he teased. "Now remember, if something were to happen and I don't make it back, you must use the telepathic interface to fly the TARDIS back home. Don't hesitate, just go."
"You want me to just abandon you here?"
"If it comes to that, yes."
"Well, let's just hope it doesn't come to that then."
"And whatever you do, stay here." He pointed a stern finger towards the floor. "No matter what happens out there, you must not leave the TARDIS. This is the safest place for you to be. Best to keep you out of trouble this time around."
She frowned at his words. Had it not been for his refusal to heed her warning of potential danger, they wouldn't be in this mess to begin with. However, she knew there would be plenty of time to remind him of how awfully infuriating he was once all of this was finally over. He headed for the door and cautiously pulled it open. "Doctor," she called. His eyes turned to meet hers. "Be careful, okay? Don't do anything stupid, like get yourself killed." She forced a small smile of confidence to mask the worry embedded throughout her emotions. Her currently over-sized, matronly ensemble was the only thing sheltering her trembling body from his furrowed eyes. It took all of her energy to calm her nerves so as not to reveal how truly frightened she was at the thought of him never returning.
"When have you ever known me to do anything stupid?"
"Seriously? Have you met you?" she quipped.
He responded to her humour with a rigorous brow. "Right. Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it." He exited the ship and closed the door securely behind him.
The subterranean cavern surrounding him was as familiar as taking a stroll inside one of his memories, one he hadn't visited in such a long time. A memory so unused, it had nearly been forgotten. And yet, he experienced an overwhelming sense of uneasiness as if something in the back of his mind was telling him he had been there before. He was left with the unfaltering sensation of déjà vu, taunting him with fragmented images of this planet he found himself on. Surveying the dark space around him, he relied almost solely on his extraordinary senses to take in all the details he might have been missing.
The aroma in the air was palpable and stale; a rich fragrance of minerals distributed from the ground beneath his feet. Even more noticeable was the soil itself. The path in front of him had become a tramping ground, forged by several unmistakable sets of footprints marking the way out. A series of electrical wires ran like untamed vines branching out to bring life to the lights lining the bottom of the cavern walls. The only source of illumination throughout the darkness engulfing him. Lifting his sonic-screwdriver, he activated its torch setting to allow for better observation of the surrounding area. "Well, that's interesting," he finally spoke.
"What is it? What have you found?" she replied into his ear.
"These cables, their construction is fairly new. Which leads me to believe someone has been here very recently." He carefully stepped over each wire and slowly headed deeper into the cave. "I'm going to try to locate their source. Whatever is powering these lights must not be far from here."
"Just be careful, Doctor. Knowing our luck, this is probably a trap."
The Doctor pushed forward. His memories awakened to the surrounding scene. Just ahead, he encountered a flickering light as if whatever it was attached to had been badly damaged. In the darkness, he could make out a sort of sealed glass structure embedded into the wall of the cave. A chamber, perhaps. The lights inside continued to flicker. Finally reaching it, he raised his torch to better observe the malfunctioning electronics lining its exterior hatch. His consciousness accelerated to full throttle as his repressed memories flooded his thoughts. A wave of emotions hit him unexpectedly as he finally realised exactly where he was. He cautiously raised his hand to place it on the surface of the glass and closed his eyes, allowing the memories of this forgotten place to run its course through his mind. The voices of his past could be heard so clearly in his head.
"Where did she come from?" Martha asked, confused by the assault on her friend.
"From me," he answered, shocked by the young woman standing before him.
"From you? How? Who is she?" Donna interrupted, more confused than the others.
"Well, she's... well, she's my daughter." His emotions teetered between denial and acceptance.
The blonde woman stepped forward from inside the chamber and smiled towards the lengthy man in the strange brown jacket. "Hello, Dad."
"Jenny," he whispered. The pain of losing his loom-born daughter returned to him as if all memory of her had been stolen from his mind.
"Doctor? Are you alright? Is someone there with you?"
Why did you bring me here? Must I suffer these memories as well? Is it not enough I'm doing everything in my power to save my remaining child's life? Anger rose inside of him at the ship's cruelness to send them to this chosen location. Why this place? Why here, why now? What am I missing? He attempted to discover a reason behind this unwarranted detour by combing through the events leading up to their departure. He retraced his thoughts to just before the TARDIS dematerialised until it suddenly became clear. The last thing that entered his mind before their destination was received by the interface was the thought of holding his daughter in his arms. The TARDIS must have connected that emotion to the last thing he experienced during his first visit to this place. The act of cradling his dying daughter and watching the vibrancy of her short-lived life fading from her body.
Upon opening his eyes, he took in all the details of the chamber's construction as if trying to remember exactly how it felt to have stood in front of it two faces ago. Yet something strange caught his attention. The mechanism designed to pull DNA from a singular host had been altered. The chamber had been upgraded with more advanced technology than it had been fitted with before. The Doctor's frown deepened as he realised whoever was responsible for altering it had found a way to manipulate the chamber's primary functions to produce identical copies without the DNA of an original host.
"Doctor? Can you hear me? Is everything alright?" Clara called.
Something is wrong. This technology shouldn't exist yet. So why is it here? Beside the chamber, he could make out what appeared to be a small console station fitted with a narrow slot intended for a type of holographic disk. Approaching it, he scanned the console and activated its power setting. Its interface struggled to power up before displaying the uploaded contents of the disk in the form of a view-screen. The flickering image produced a detailed map of the cave and surrounding infrastructures. He had seen this map before. Though the technology had been upgraded, the layout of the building remained mostly unchanged. That's strange, he thought as he attempted to expand the map to a view of the planet. The image fluttered as its energy source drained rapidly. Aiming his screwdriver towards the interface, he redirected as much power as he could from the surrounding area directly to the console. The view-screen came alive with vibrancy. A detailed rendering of the degraded planet's condition filled every edge of the frame. Messaline, his suspicions now confirmed. But it can't be!
Beside him, the lights continued to flicker inside the glass chamber. The small panel adjacent to the sealed door fluctuated as it attempted to draw more power to itself. The display and keypad were barely functioning as they faded in and out of life. He directed his attention towards the malfunctioning panel and scanned its hardware for an answer to who might have installed the upgraded systems. Before he could do anything more, the panel sparked as the electronics inside of it surged from extensive corrosion. "No, no, no!" he yelled at the panel. "Come on, don't do this to me! I need to know!"
"Doctor, you're scaring me. Tell me what's going on."
"I'm coming back to the TARDIS. We need to leave this planet immediately."
"Why? What is it, Doctor? What did you see?"
"Something I shouldn't have," he answered, looking at his reflection through the glass. "Clara, I-" he said before being interrupted by a loud bang as the panel suffered a complete system failure and exploded. It was as if it had been rigged to go off in the event any tampering had been detected. The small blast sent out a shock-wave, shattering the glass door of the chamber and nearly sent him flying to the other side of the cave. He quickly raised his arm in time to protect his face from potential shrapnel before being thrown to the ground.
"Doctor?! Doctor, can you hear me?!" she called into her earpiece as the vibrations from the blast were felt inside the ship. "Doctor! Are you there?! Answer me!" She pulled the view-screen towards her. The once clear image of the cave had been clouded by a thick layer of smoke and dust, making it impossible to receive a clear visual. She had been blinded and completely cut off from the outside world. Whatever had happened, only one thing was certain. He was truly on his own now. "What's happening out there?!" she yelled towards the silent Gallifreyan rings holding the time rotor together. "Don't you dare go quiet on me! You are every bit as much to blame for us being here! He could be in danger right now, or worse!" The ship continued to play the silent game as Clara paced back and forth, unable to resist the horrid thoughts of what may have happened to her best friend.
"Something's wrong. He should have been back by now. He would have responded," she spoke to the ship as if hoping for some kind of validation to her concerns over his well-being. When there wasn't any, she found herself very afraid of how alone she felt at that moment. She continued to pace, nervously biting her thumb as she tried to come to terms with what he told her to do in case he didn't come back. She shook the thought from her mind as a burst of confidence forced her to take drastic action. "That's it. If you're not going to help me, I'll do it myself," she asserted towards the interface. She headed to the travel bag and rummaged around for her jacket. Finding it, she quickly placed it on and started for the door when the TARDIS finally responded with a series of unfavourable noises.
"Yes, I know what he said and I don't care!" she yelled back as she grabbed the handle and pulled, only to find it wouldn't budge. She angrily spun around to face the console. "Open the door," she demanded. The ship clattered with refusal. "Listen to me, you blue bucket of bolts and fancy whistles. I realise we haven't always got on. You've hidden my bedroom. You've even put a leopard in my bathroom. But this, this isn't about me. This is about the man we both love. And right now, he's out there all alone and he needs our help. If he dies out there, it's on you. I swear with every part of my being that if something happens to him, you will never be rid of me. I will never leave this ship, even if it means I'll die in here. You will spend the rest of your lonely existence without your Time Lord, carting around a bloody pile of bones while I haunt the inside of these walls for all of eternity. Just you and me, forever." Her eyes were fierce, her voice threatening and angry. "So, what's it gonna be?" The two of them were drowning in silence as they squared off against each other for control of the situation. Suddenly, the door to the outside opened, allowing the cool air from their surroundings to enter and pass through. A small smile formed on the young woman's face as she peered gratefully towards the living machine. "Thank you." She then turned and exited through the threshold on a mission to find her friend.
Outside the ship, the Doctor coughed and fanned the smoke from his face as he approached the decimated panel to better assess the damage. Placing his hand to his ear, he called to his companion. "Clara? Are you alright?" The silence from the earpiece was concerning. "Clara, can you hear me? Clara!" he called again before realising their communication had been severed. He concluded the blast from the panel must have destroyed the circuits inside the earpiece and temporarily stranded them from each other.
"Doctor?" a voice echoed in the distance.
He was almost certain he had imagined it as he peered through the fine airborne sediment towards the sound of the voice. He tapped his earpiece and called to his companion once more. "Clara, is that you?" he asked, hoping the audio device had somehow come back online. Through the thickened haze, a shadow quickly approached. A spout of adrenaline rose from within him as he prepared to engage in combat with the unknown being.
"Doctor?" a feminine voice he recognised called again. "Doctor, are you alright? Where are you?!" She coughed and batted her way to him.
He gave a sigh of relief, followed by frustrated anger as he realised who the voice belonged to. "Clara! What are you doing out here?! I told you to stay on the TARDIS!" He headed to her and took hold of her arms as if trying to determine if she was indeed real and therefore stupid enough to be standing in front of him.
"What, and let you have all the fun?" she replied mid-breath.
"Ah, yes. You've finally discovered the truth. We've really come all this way because I've secretly been planning a fun-filled weekend holiday for two. Surprise! I hope you like the view. Very authentic. I give it at least three stars." His sarcasm had finally reached maximum capacity. "Now will you please go back to the TARDIS?!"
"I'm not going back there without you. I won't let you do this alone," she insisted, pulling herself from his grasp.
"Clara, as much as I appreciate your concern, I don't think you quite understand the severity of the situation. This entire planet is a war zone and we are currently standing right in the middle of it! I will not allow you to put yourself in danger just so you can quench your thirst for adventure!"
"You said we needed to leave this planet. So you're either coming back with me, or taking me with you. Your choice," she argued.
"I can't leave, not yet. Something is terribly wrong here, some crucial point that I'm missing. I cannot in good conscious leave until I discover exactly what that is. Somehow history is being changed. This planet should have been terraformed by now. Before I left here, there was peace between the species. The entire ecosystem had been completely transformed from a radioactive wasteland to an Earth-like paradise. According to the readings I obtained from their computer, it's as if none of that ever happened. Which means either the war never ended and we are standing on an active battleground, or someone won." He stepped towards the shattered chamber, sighing with frustration. "If my fears are correct, I believe a third party has played a hand at providing one side with an advantage over the other. The upgraded technology in this room alone proves it was not crafted by mankind, nor is it of indigenous design. If someone has altered the course of events here, there's no way to know for sure how many other things they may have changed." He pressed his hands on either side of the chamber's frame and hung his head, submerging himself in the fear rising from within. He felt the comforting presence of his companion as she came up beside him. He didn't need to read her expression to know she was growing more concerned by his words. He could sense her worry from an entire galaxy away. Yet the real truth he faced was just how foolish he felt to have believed this mission would have ensured no resistance. "I need to follow this through to the end, Clara. For all I know, it could already be too late. But I have to try. If Quynn is behind this, then there's no telling what damage she may have caused to the fabric of time. She must be stopped."
Clara placed her hand on his shoulder and gently turned him around to face her. "Then we'll do it together. Just like old times." She leaned her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around his thin frame.
The Time Lord embraced her caring gesture and held her close. He gently ran his fingers through her brown hair and rested his cheek on her head. "You and your infuriating stubbornness are going to be the death of me, I just know it."
She laughed and held him tight, taking notice of the damaged equipment lying in pieces all around them. "By the way, what happened in here? Were you trying to blow yourself up again?"
"Hilarious." He frowned. "Although, I did discover one should always ask for consent before probing around inside a computer's secured interface. A lesson well learned."
"Sound advice," she teased, immersing herself in his warmth. "So," she started, her eyes meeting his with a curious brow, "who's Jenny?"
Before he could respond, they were interrupted by a threatening voice from somewhere nearby, taking them by surprise. "There they are! Open fire!" the voice commanded. Several armed men quickly stormed through the cloud of dust and smoke towards their location, completely blocking their access to the ship as they took aim. A chain of weapons fire commenced. Their ammunition tore blindly through the fog, missing the Doctor and Clara by inches as the bullets ricocheted off the stone walls.
"Run, Clara!" the Doctor screamed, grabbing her hand and bolting deeper into the caverns. The soldiers' footsteps could be heard behind them.
"I'm starting to think this may have been a mistake!" she admitted, trying to keep up with the pace he had set for them in her weakened state.
"'Just like old times', eh?" He was partially excited, yet terrified all at the same time. "I hate soldiers. Don't you hate soldiers?" He smiled, trying to make the best of their current situation.
"Yeah," she agreed, becoming more breathless the farther they ran.
"Just keep running!" he urged. His hand tightened around hers, fearing one false move could mean the end of them at any moment. Rounding a corner, they noticed the soil beneath their feet had been reinforced with metal flooring. Their footsteps clanked loudly across its surface as they headed towards the next area. The jagged stone walls that made up the cave had been reconstructed and moulded into a narrow corridor that emptied into a large, abandoned theatre fitted with a domed ceiling. As the pair made their way to the centre of the room, they stopped and peered around for a suitable place to hide. "Over here!" he whispered, pulling her towards a stack of crates near an exit point and ducked behind them.
Clara took the opportunity of temporary rest to catch her breath. "What was that machine back there? Obviously something important enough to need this much protection."
"A type of loom, very similar to the technology we used on Gallifrey to produce our offspring. I have a feeling someone has modified it, possibly to create an army of identical soldiers to win this war between the two species occupying this planet."
"Are you sure? It looked a little small to fit a whole army in there."
"Of course I'm sure! It's the same machine that was used on myself to create my daughter Jenny the last time I was here."
"Jenny? She's the non-Gallifreyan child you told me about?"
"Yes. Born by genetic transfer, but still of my own flesh and blood."
"Hang on, something doesn't make sense. If you're right about Quynn changing the course of history on this planet, if the war never ended, wouldn't that mean you were never here? And if you were never here, wouldn't that mean Jenny never existed? So why can you still remember her?"
"For the same reason your memories started to resurface on Trenzalore when they shouldn't have. Because nothing is ever really forgotten so long as you can still remember it."
She opened her mouth to respond but was met with the warm touch of his hand as he covered her mouth to shush her. They watched and waited quietly as the soldiers who had been following them made their way into the room and searched the area. The troop leader signalled for his men to separate into adjacent paths. The Time Lord and his companion found themselves alone in the room once more, not yet willing to move from the safety of the crates they hid behind. When all was quiet and clear, she pulled his hand from her face and finally spoke.
"So what now?" she whispered. "Can we get back to the TARDIS from here?"
"Well, we certainly can't go back the way we came. But yes. There is another tunnel that will lead us there. Although, they're sure to be guarding it in case we try to leave. I don't know about you, but I'm really not in the mood to get shot today."
"You said you've been here before. They must have some kind of weapons room or something."
"That's your plan?! You want to charge through them, guns blazing?"
"Do they have one or not?" she asked again, becoming more agitated.
"Of course they do, it's a war zone! But there's no way of knowing if it's in the same place. For all I know, it could be a broom cupboard now!"
"Which way?" She peered around the crates to locate the exits.
"Through there." He pointed towards a corridor near them. "But we'll never make it without being seen. It could be heavily guarded."
She waited until the sound of footsteps had become silent, then removed herself from behind the crate. "Right then, let's go," she instructed, heading towards the next corridor.
"Clara! What are you doing?!" he called, trying to keep his voice as low as possible. His eyes were wide with fear. "Come back here immediately!"
"I'm getting us out of here. Are you coming or not?" She waited only a moment before proceeding towards the undiscovered hallway.
"Clara!" he called again. Realising she had no intention of returning, he quickly left the safety of the crates to follow after her. Her quickened pace made it difficult to keep up, preventing him from preparing for any dangers ahead. The next corridor proved much longer than he remembered. As they rounded the corner, they were met by half a dozen armed soldiers stationed at the far end of the path. Their weapons were armed and ready to receive them. The events that followed happened so fast he hardly had time to react. His first instinct was to retreat the way they came. Yet Clara confidentially strode forward as they opened fire. He raised his arms to protect his head from the slew of bullets flying by and continued to scream her name in the hope she would come back to him. Despite the urgency in his voice, his companion maintained her course towards their enemy as if she had become possessed - somehow unafraid of the severe possibility of being shot. His hearts and mind raced while she proceeded towards the gunfire as if purposely trying to get herself killed. The next door he came by he recognised immediately. Thinking quickly, he used his screwdriver on the handle. The door unlatched and flew open, allowing him access inside. Before she could proceed any farther into certain death, he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the open room. "Not that way! In here!" he insisted, flinging her inside like a rag doll. Looking towards the soldiers, he aimed his screwdriver above their heads and activated it. The piping above them burst and exploded as the gases mixed with the electrical pulse being sent out. The last thing he witnessed before closing the door behind him was the image of screaming bodies flying in all directions as their lives were extinguished in flames.
He entered the room and glared in disbelief at the woman standing before him. Her eyes refused to meet his. Instead, she focused her attention on the room around them. Her distracted gaze made it clear she had no recollection of how she got there. Whatever reason for her lack of concern over her well-being, the fact she had so determinedly put all three of them in danger enraged him. "Have you gone completely insane, or has pregnancy really made you this recklessly stupid? You could have been killed!"
"What makes you so sure they were aiming for me?" Her eyes maintained themselves away from his rage-filled expression.
He watched with concern as she appeared to ignore his displeasure, becoming more disconnected from him with each moment that passed. Every part of his being wanted to scream and lash out at her outrageous behaviour having led them to their current situation. His temper was unravelling. His hands shook from the adrenaline coursing through his system after having just murdered several people. He quickly hid his hands in his pockets and tried to calm his mind. He looked around the room to distract himself from how irate he felt at that moment. They had indeed found the small armoury as she intended. The walls were thick and barren of any way out, other than the way they had come. Multiple well-armoured crates had been sorted and stacked in rows along the floor, creating a labyrinth of weaponry.
"So, here we are," he announced facetiously, seething in his own sarcasm. "I can't wait to see what else you have in store for us. Though, it could be worse. We could be trapped inside a small room with only one door while an army of soldiers gather reinforcements with the intent to kill us." She remained silent, hugging herself with crossed arms as fresh tears formed in her eyes. As much as he wanted to comfort her, he was far too angry to allow her emotions to tamper with the thought of what she had done. This time she had gone too far. "Why couldn't you have just stayed on the TARDIS? I told you not to leave. I had everything handled without you putting yourself directly in danger. Your job was to monitor the situation from inside and, if necessary, take her far away from here. What were you even thinking?! Do you have any idea how furious I am with you?!"
"Are you sure it's really me you're angry with?" She glanced his way, her eyes connecting to his with fierce intention. "We both know those soldiers bore Quynn's insignia, which means her reach spans farther than we ever realised. She isn't just building up her armies, she's changing the course of history as we know it. What if she reaches Earth? What if she enslaves the entire human race? What if there is no stopping her?"
"Do you honestly believe I haven't thought of that? That I haven't been doing everything in my power to prevent her from becoming even stronger?" His anger grew rapidly as he spoke. The more he tried to control it, the harder it was to keep contained. She was testing his patience in more ways than one.
"What if it isn't enough? What if she can't be beaten? What if we're already too late?"
"Forgive me. I must have forgotten how many wars you've fought, how many armies you've commanded, how many innocent lives you've witnessed perish at the hands of an enemy much stronger than yourself, yet somehow still prevailed. You wouldn't know real sacrifice if it slapped you in the face! You cannot imagine what it is like to have lost everything, to have done everything you could to save the lives of those who count on you the most."
"Not everything," she noted, running her fingers along the surface of the crate in front of her. With the other hand, she undid the latch holding the crate closed and lifted the lid. Inside were a series of enhanced pistols, the clips loaded and ready for combat. She carefully lifted one from its holster and examined its intricate design.
"Clara, what are you doing?" he asked as a strange feeling of nervousness crept up from within him.
Her eyes met his again. Though her expression seemed almost apologetic, there was also a sense of confidence and serenity he had never seen before. "What I have to do." She instinctively released the safety from the weapon, its capabilities now fully armed and ready to fire. "All this time, the answer has been staring us right in the face. Yet you've refused to admit it. You've been so blinded by trying to save us, you couldn't see the solution right in front of you."
"Clara, whatever you think you're doing-"
"I know exactly what I'm doing, Doctor," she interrupted. Her calm demeanour did little to ease the rising distress growing inside of him. "I'm making the choice you could not. I'm saving us." She slowly brought the gun to her head and placed the barrel next to her temple.
His emotions fluctuated between sheer panic and shock at the sight of her actions. "Stop this at once! Have you gone mad?! What has got into you-?" He stopped himself, suddenly recalling his unborn child's warning of her mother's terribly dark secrets. He'd seen the pain thriving inside of her, yet had not known the depths of how far she would be willing to go. The guilt of not being able to cure her overwhelmed him. He felt his time was running out. If he couldn't find a way to bring her back, he may lose her forever. "Ah, I understand now. So this was all part of your plan, was it? To fool me into bringing you here? This was never about wanting to defeat Quynn. You needed me to present the opportunity for you because you couldn't do it alone. How long have you been planning this?"
"Since eighteen sixty-five. Since the moment you discovered Quynn was our daughter. The more I realised how powerful she was becoming, the more I knew there was only one way to stop her before more people fell victim to her wrath. After Danny died, that feeling became even stronger. The darkness inside of me has only been growing. It's only a matter of time before it takes over completely. I knew you would never allow any harm to come to me or the baby, even if the entire universe was burning all around us. Can't you see? Missy has finally succeeded in finding your weakness and using it against you. The only way to stop them is to beat them at their own game." Her hand trembled as her finger secured itself upon the trigger.
"Clara, please. Don't do this."
"You said so yourself. We could be trapped in this cyclical hell forever. How many times do you think we've been through this? How many times have we tried to stop her and failed? You can feel it, can't you? I didn't understand what it was before, but now I know. That feeling growing in the back of your mind, telling you you've done this all before, but you just can't explain it. That's how I feel all the time. It's the feeling of living inside a never-ending nightmare." Her tears streamed down her face as her vivid dreams surfaced from their secured place in her mind. "If our daughter's only reason for existing is to bring us together to conceive her so she can reign terror upon the universe for all of eternity, then this is the only way I see out of it."
"There's no guarantee this will even work. No way to know how far back the timeline may reset. It could cause time to completely collapse on itself. Or nothing could happen and you'd just be dead. Are you really willing to take that risk?"
"Yes," she admitted with such confidence it terrified him to his core. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to stop her, even if it means I have to die. What's one life worth compared to the billions I could be saving?"
"More than I'm willing to give up." He risked taking a step towards her. In her startled reaction to his movement, a look of warning flashed upon her face as she stepped back from him. His hearts beat faster than they ever had before. He'd rather be standing in front of an army of Cybermen or surrounded by Daleks than face the stand-off he was in between himself and his friend. "I'm begging you, don't do this. We'll find another way. We've come so far already." He held out his shaking hands as a peaceful gesture and took another step towards her as his world was crashing down all around him. He was so scared of what she was about to do, he found it difficult to breathe. He could barely hear anything over the sound of his hearts pounding in his chest. He tried to remain calm, yet his entire body trembled as he drew closer. "How can you possibly ask this of me? To just stand here and allow you to murder yourself and our child right in front of me?" He could no longer control the tears forcing their way out over the thought of them dying by her hands. He was being torn apart. All the bravery and courage he held inside of him for so long had vanished, leaving him alone with the frightened, child-like innocence that remained. "I've already lost more than I can even bear. Please, don't leave me here all alone," he begged with every ounce of his being as he dropped to his knees and buried his sobbing face in his hands.
The sight of her best friend's crumpled form before her was unbearable. Her tears continued to fall as she contemplated everything she was doing. She had never been more scared than she was right at that moment. Yet, deep down, she knew she couldn't allow him to cause her to doubt what she felt was their only option left. If there was any hope of releasing herself from her fate, she would have to be the stronger one. "You take more risks than anyone I've ever known. Tell me why I can't be like you. Give me one good reason why I shouldn't do this. If there's even a chance we could escape this, why shouldn't I take it?" she asked, gripping the pistol even tighter.
The Doctor lifted his head from his hands and allowed his tears to fall, finally exposing all of his weaknesses in front of her. He had come to terms with the thought that if this was truly what she wanted to do, if this was the last time he'd ever see her again, then there was no reason he could possibly think of to continue to keep his feelings a secret any longer. He could never live with himself if he allowed her to die without ever knowing how he felt about her. If their friendship must end, then it would be on his own terms. There was only one thing left to do. One last ace up his sleeve he had been saving for the right moment. And there was no greater time than right now. "Because... I'm in love with you, Clara."
She felt almost light-headed as if she had been holding her breath. His confession both startled and surprised her. Unsure if she simply imagined his words due to the emotional state she put herself in, or if he genuinely declared what she thought he had, she finally spoke. "What did you say?" she asked, almost frightened of the answer.
"I said, I'm in love with you," he confirmed. "I always have been. My face may have changed, but how I feel about you has never faltered. From the very first moment I heard your voice to this moment right here, right now, I always have and always will love you. You are my impossible soufflé girl. The mother of my child. The woman about to make me the happiest man in the universe by giving birth to our daughter. And I love you more deeply every day that passes for it." He looked into her eyes and bore his hearts in the hope she'd understand. "Please, don't take that away from me."
Her grip on the pistol loosened as a river of tears came streaming down her face. Her heart was tearing apart as his words sank into her soul. The feelings she'd been denying and pushing away since his last body finally felt validation after all this time. Yet a bigger part of her was so angry with him for daring to spare her from how he truly felt until this very moment. "Damn you, Doctor." She cursed his entire existence, both in mind and spirit. "Why tell me this now?"
"Because I'm afraid of what I will become without you," he professed. His thoughts were spilling out uncontrollably as he finally released everything he'd been holding back from revealing to anyone. "If you die, I would spend every waking moment making sure our enemies paid for what they've done. There would be no rest until I had rained hell upon every last one of them. I'd break all of my own rules. I'd risk all of time and space. I'd let the stars burn. I'd watch as entire worlds collapsed on themselves while billions of voices screamed in agony. I'd give up all of who I am if it meant you'd live."
His shocking confession bewildered her, preventing her from determining if there was any truth behind his words or if he was merely spewing idle threats out of desperation. "I don't believe you. Your reign of terror would end with the sight of the first crying child and you know it."
"No, I don't," he admitted. "None of you have any idea what I am truly capable of. Or did you really believe Quynn is the worst thing to happen to anyone? You've never known true horror until you've seen a Time Lord on a quest for revenge. There would be no stopping me, nothing to hold me back from myself. There would be more suffering than you can even imagine. The universe has every right to fear me, as it should."
For the first time, she found herself truly frightened of him. She had never heard him speak in such a way before. It was as if the man she knew and loved had completely gone, leaving her alone within the presence of his inner demons. "If that's true, then Quynn was right. There really is a monster hiding inside of you."
A new sense of humiliation and shame overwhelmed him at the harshness of her words. He felt defeated and powerless against the truth behind them as he fell forward onto his hands and braced his sobbing form at her feet. "Help me, Clara. I'm begging you. Don't let me become that man."
Her gaze shifted to the fallen Time Lord below her as her emotions shattered into a million pieces. She realised he was right. There was so much more at stake for the universe than what Quynn had in store for it. If this plan didn't work, she would be responsible for unleashing all the horrors within him, no matter who stood in his way. There would be no one to stop him from himself. No one left to remind him of how to care for the lives of others. All she had ever accomplished would be in vain as he chose the path of destruction over being who he needed to be. The thought of how important her life was for the survival of the entire universe was overwhelming.
Returning to the moment, she discovered her once trembling hand holding the weapon to her temple had long since calmed. Without any further consideration, she lowered it into the crate and released it from her grasp. Glancing towards her fallen friend, she knelt beside him and ran her fingers through his silver hair.
His head raised at her soothing touch. His eyes filled with tears as they instinctively met with hers. The emotion contained within her expression was unmistakable. He'd seen it only once before in his last body. It could only be described as the look of undeniable love and compassion. His hands found their way to her waist. He allowed his head to rest his against her belly and took in her warmth for all it was worth. The child fluttered and kicked from within her at his presence. His hands pressed carefully on either side of her as he experienced the sensation of movement within his palms. His hearts nearly burst with affection as they embraced each other. "I love you both so very much. Please, don't take her away from me," he pleaded with every drop of emotion remaining inside of his furrowed old body.
The love he displayed towards them disarmed her from within as she wrapped her arms around him and cradled his head in her hands. She knew there would be no turning back. Whatever their fate may be, only one thing was certain. They would face it together. "Well, old man." She carefully tilted his head to meet her gaze. "What's your plan for getting us out of here?"