Two and a half months passed almost faster than Clara even realised. So much had happened since the last time she saw the Doctor. The look upon his face as she left him in his TARDIS for the last time burned itself into her memory. She tried not to think about him, about the anger she felt towards his actions. It was as if there was an enormous void in her life after she left. And Danny, though she still had him for now, he hadn't taken the news well.
"There's something I need to tell you."
"I love you too," he replied, smiling brightly.
"Oh, uh, yes that!" She tried to sound sincere as the words she needed to say were stuck trying to escape. She stared down at the table and absent-mindedly fiddled with the untouched food on her plate.
"Is there something else?" he asked, observing her distracted gaze.
"Um, well..."
Later, she watched as a now enraged Danny angrily paced at the end of the table. His eyes refused to connect with hers. He screamed in frustration as she continued to sit, too ashamed and terrified to move.
"It's his, isn't it?!" he shouted.
"Yes," she whispered as tears fell from her face.
"How could you do this to me?! I love you!"
"Danny, please! It wasn't like that!"
"Tell me then, Clara. What was it like?" He glared at her.
"You wouldn't understand," she replied, reciting the Doctor's words.
"Oh, I understand perfectly. You love him, don't you?"
"No, not in that way." She was so quick to answer, she didn't know if she was being genuine. She didn't know how to feel about him anymore.
"Tell me the truth," he demanded. His suspicion of her true feelings for the Doctor had taken precedence in his thoughts ever since the moment he discovered with whom she had been spending all of her free time.
"It wasn't consensual."
"You're telling me he raped you?!" His temper exploded.
"No! He would never do that! That's not what happened!"
"So he had his way with you," he continued, ignoring her words and making his own assumptions. "Then dumped you off here to raise his kid alone while he ran off like a coward?" His words brought her to tears as she shielded her face in her hands. He continued to pace in silence. He grasped the sides of his head and tried to control his fury. "I can't do this anymore, Clara. This, this is just too much for me." He snatched up his coat and headed for the door, slamming it shut behind him.
She spent the next few weeks after their fight barely able to bring herself out of her bed. Her pillow was constantly wet with tears. They had to bring in a substitute for her at her the school after informing them she was recovering from a serious flu. But in reality, she couldn't bear even the thought of passing him in the halls. Then one day, she heard a knock at her door. She rushed to it, her heart racing, hoping to see her best friend as she threw open the door. But it wasn't who she expected.
"I'm sorry," Danny admitted, his hand wrapped around a fresh bouquet. She stared at him, not knowing what to say. "Look, this isn't easy for me. It's not every day your girlfriend tells you she's pregnant with an alien." A small smile escaped her at his words. "I want to make this work. If he doesn't want to be there for his own kid, then that's on him." He stared sadly into her eyes. "Clara, I love-" he tried to say as she rushed to him, threw her arms around his neck, and kissed him passionately. He embraced her and walked them into her flat, kicking the door closed behind them.
She sat alone on a park bench, taking a break from the constant guilt she carried for pulling Danny into the insanity that was her life. After she felt ready enough to return to the school, she regretted it almost immediately. All the questions she was receiving became increasingly unbearable as more and more people started to notice the obvious secret extending from her middle. The gossip going around the school was enough to fill a magazine.
She sometimes caught herself thinking about the Doctor and what he was doing right then. Did he miss her? Was he still thinking about her while he was off somewhere billions of miles away? She tried to push the feelings away. It wasn't fair to Danny. She had already caused him enough pain. And yet, he was still there, picking up the pieces of her messy life.
She glanced down at her small belly, just barely big enough to rest on its own in her lap. She placed her hand over her growing child, hoping to feel any sign of life inside of her. She wondered what she would look like. Would she have her mother's stubbornness? Her father's frown? Possibly both. She hadn't felt the warmth since she was last on the TARDIS. A warmth she knew to be her baby trying to communicate the only way she knew how. Clara had no way of knowing how she was developing as she refused to be seen by a physician against Danny's wishes. She was afraid by the time they would determine her child had two hearts, she'd be whisked off by U.N.I.T. and confined to a room where they'd force her to explain how she was carrying an alien offspring. She feared they would interrogate her, threaten her, and when the time came for her to give birth, the child would be taken to have experiments performed. There was no one she could trust, except for Danny. Although, she was quite certain he'd make a fairly terrible wet nurse.
She felt slightly disappointed by the lack of movement, but believed it was far too early to detect anything just yet. As often as she tried to keep from thinking about the Doctor, it was nearly impossible as the evidence he would always be a part of her life was living and growing inside of her. A constant reminder of him.
Gently rubbing her abdomen, she was surprised when she finally felt something. Not a movement, a feeling. Her hand stopped over where she last felt it. A warmth. She heard herself gasp as the sensation intensified. So very light at first, then brighter and brighter until she felt the warmth over nearly her entire body. She felt the happiness returning to her mind once more as tears formed in her eyes. It had been so long since she last experienced it, she almost forgot what it felt like. And then she understood why.
Her smile faded as quickly as it appeared. Her happiness suddenly melted away. She felt her face frown and her eyes roll with irritability as she sensed someone drawing near her from behind. She refused to turn around or even acknowledge their presence. The man took a seat next to her on the bench. Neither of them spoke as they looked towards the empty green field.
The Doctor crossed his arms and pretended not to look at her. He caught a glimpse of her as he sat down, his eyes observing the start of her rounded middle. He could sense the warmth of his child from miles away as if welcoming him, happy to be feeling his presence once more. He knew she wanted him to find her, for the three of them to be together again. They sat in silence for what seemed like ages.
Clara wanted to scream if only to make him understand how much she wanted to hate him right then. She told him not to look for them. He had no business bursting back into her life, trying to become a part of it after so easily letting her walk out the door. She concentrated on fighting her tears so he wouldn't see her as weak. After what felt like an eternity, he finally spoke.
"Over one hundred and eighty years from now, this entire area will be nothing but ocean. This bench and all of London will rest miles under the surface of billions of tons of seawater as the northern ice caps melt from the expanding sun. By the twenty-fourth-century, London will cease to exist."
"Doctor," she replied, unwilling to glance in his direction. "Why are you here-?"
"Shhh!" he interrupted, placing a finger to his lips. "I'm not speaking to you." After a moment, he leaned towards her middle and pointed off in the distance. "Nearly seven-hundred years from now, all of this you see will be converted into Central City. And right over there is where they will build the capitol building at the start of the twenty-eighth-century. One day, when you're older, I can take you to see it being built, if you'd like."
Clara wiped the tears from her eyes and tried to hold back the small smile yearning to form. She was still so unbelievably cross with him. As often as she tried, she never truly understood why he was the way he is. She knew there would be no apology from him. He was much too proud for that. But a part of her did forgive him for his actions. Though he had risked her life an uncountable number of times, he would never have intentionally hurt her. His reaction to her condition proved he was just as shocked by the existence of his child as she. As often as she tried to deny it these past few months, he was still her best friend and her child's father. Being around him changed her. No matter how hard she tried to stay mad at him, she really did love him.
After a moment, she allowed her head to rest against his shoulder as he placed an arm around her to hold her close. As silence grew between them, they instead enjoyed each other's company as the sun set in the sky.
********************
"She's doing remarkably well," the Doctor confirmed, returning his screwdriver to his pocket. "And you haven't been to see anyone? No doctors?"
"No, no one," she admitted.
"Good girl. If U.N.I.T. were to get their hands on you, they'd be spending months cleaning up the damage I caused to get you out." He felt complete with her on the TARDIS as if she had never really gone. He spent their time apart attempting to devise a plan to relieve himself of Missy's deal. One he hadn't quite plotted out entirely as he was frustrated and distracted, unable to focus on his work without the presence of Clara stirring about the ship. He couldn't concentrate on what he should be doing - his mind constantly wandering and worrying if she and the child were safe without him there to protect them.
Clara wasn't exactly sure why she agreed to follow him to the TARDIS after they left the park. She'd like to have believed he convinced her to come based solely on his concern for the health of their child, to make sure she was being taken care of. But she knew he didn't need the ship to do that. She pretended she didn't see him quickly glance over at her several times while he pretended to push important buttons on the console. Their current relationship was both awkward and oddly comfortable at the same time.
"I see P.E. has been taking good care of you," he noted, trying not to sound like he was prying.
"It's Danny. And yes, he has. We're officially a couple now, again." She suddenly realised the guilt she felt over being with the Doctor after what happened between them. After everything Danny had done for her, if he were to find out where she had been all evening...
"Are you?!" he inquired, faking surprise.
"Yeah, uh, he's been really supportive and accepting. All things considered, of course."
"Of course," he agreed, attempting to keep his jealousy to a minimum. "So, do you two...?" His brow raised with sudden interest.
"Doctor."
"Right, right! None of my business." He remained casual, yet was unable to relieve himself of the thoughts of her promiscuous acts with another man while his child still thrived within her.
Clara smiled over the thought of returning home, even if she didn't live there. Something about being on board made her feel secure again. As would a son or daughter, having left their parents' house to pursue their dreams on an uncharted path, made their way home for the holidays. The smell of their mother's cooking. The laughter between friends and family as they spoke of the good old days. The feeling of being in their old room to find it looked just the way they remembered it. She ran her hand along the familiar surface of the console, letting her fingers graze over the buttons she had watched him press a thousand times. Her hand travelled along the edge until she was standing beside him. "You know," she started, their hands nearly touching, "I think she missed you."
His hearts skipped a beat as he glanced towards the close proximity of their hands. "Did she?" he whispered, not entirely sure it was the child in which she was speaking, but hadn't ruled out the possibility of her hormones taking over. He watched her gaze up at him, her eyes drawing him into hers. His hands trembled, though he tried his best to remain calm.
"When you were gone, I stopped feeling her happiness," she continued, unable to explain the exhilaration she experienced being so close to him. Her pulse became rapid as the thought of him wrapping his arms around her betrayed everything she had been feeling since his absence. It was as if there was a fire burning in her that could not be contained. She caught herself glancing at his lips, desiring to feel them against her own. "But now that we are standing here together again, I can feel her warmth growing inside of me." She gently lifted his trembling hand and slowly brought it to her middle, pressing it carefully over their child. "Right here."
A quiet gasp left him at her touch. His mind raced with a hundred thoughts. His body shuddered with arousal. The man he thought he was would have looked away, caused a distraction. Anything to get out of what it meant to feel for her. Yet he couldn't resist her eyes. It was as if they contained the map of an entire galaxy just waiting to be explored if only he dared to look deep enough.
As much as he wanted to resist, his mind torn between fleeing from where he stood or enduring the exhilaration of his hand over the swell of her middle, there was another secret he had been keeping from her. Another reason not to have pursued her after their last heated encounter. The intense love he had for her brought on by the Persuader was still veritably present inside of him. He knew that was how the creatures functioned, but had been too afraid to admit it. Once they had a hold of their victims, they released a kind of snare into the brain. Like a tiny splinter embedded into the tissue that could never be removed. They could sink an idea into the mind like a virus slowly spreading its way through. Once they finally released themselves from their host, their prey would be plagued with the desire to fulfil the obligations of their mind - remaining with them forever. He knew his illness was part of the driving force keeping him close to her, never too far away. But it meant something much worse. She was also infected. Her sudden strong affections towards him were even more of a sign the virus was affecting her mind. He could detect her endorphins drawing him in, becoming intoxicated by her pheromones. His possessive paternal desires brought a sense of power over her as if prideful it was his seed growing inside of her. Like a dominant animal warding off the other males from his mate. As hard as he tried to remain unattached to the child, preparing himself for what was to come, his illness was making it increasingly unbearable to imagine giving her up with each passing moment he endured her warmth.
He felt his companion's deep breathing, her diaphragm expanding and retracting in his palm. The familiar warmth rose throughout his body like sunlight as he spread his fingers over her swollen form and protectively pressed his hand over their growing child. Without realising it, his remaining hand found its way to her waist as if it had a mind of its own. He felt her warm, gentle breath on his neck. The sickness inside of him was too powerful to ignore. "It's almost as though," he replied, nervous of his actions, "she's been trying to bring us closer together." The hand he claimed on her waist gently pulled her into him, her middle pressing against his own.
A short gasp escaped her as she lost herself in his embrace. "Wouldn't that be terrible?" she teased, feeling her passion for him rise like a fever.
"Unimaginably," he whispered. He had no control over his actions any longer. His eyes stared at her lips as if he were starving for them. He slowly lowered his head towards hers, their lips nearly touching. Their eyes closed in anticipation of their skin's connection. Suddenly, an unexpected noise from behind her interrupted the moment between them. The vibrating sound of a phone ringing from her back pocket brought them out of the occasion. "That must be P.E., sorry, Danny, wondering where you've run off to." He sighed and held back his irritation as he released her from his grasp.
Retrieving the phone, she stared at the screen as her thoughts were pulled back to reality. "I'm sorry," she confessed. "I have to take this."
He motioned for her to do what she felt she must and leaned upon the console, forcing himself not to tear a panel off in frustration.
"Danny! Hi!" she began, trying to sound excited to hear from him. "I was at the park, just making my way back now. No, no. I can walk, it's not far. I'm almost home. Yes, we're doing just fine." She smiled and placed a hand on her middle. She then turned towards the Doctor, her eyes connecting to his. "Yep, just me," she lied, ignoring his frowning brow. "Okay. Yep, love you too. See you soon." Ending the call, she returned the phone to her pocket.
"Big plans tonight?" he inquired.
"Nah, just dinner at my place," she replied, holding back her guilt.
"I suppose I couldn't offer you a lift then?" He ran his hand along the edge of the console as if to tempt her.
"I better not," she admitted. He nodded in understanding. "Well, guess I should get going. In case he shows up before me."
"Guess so," he replied disappointedly.
She headed for the door, hesitating just before reaching it, then turned towards him. "When can I see you again?"
A smile formed at the question. "As soon as you'd like."
"Good." She returned the smile, then exited the TARDIS.