It happened at night. That's when my water broke, the pain hurt me so bad that I woke Peeta up from squeezing him too tight. He was practically tripping as he ran out to get my mom who came in with a whole bunch on towels and a sheet, she stripped our beds sheet then puts the new sheet on, she checks to see how far the baby is, she said that it looks like the baby should be here early or late morning. The pain that my body is going through is definitely painful and I have to squeeze Peetas hand whenever I feel what my mom calls contractions, I take off the shirt I'm wearing so that I'm only in my bra and believe it or not, it actually makes me a little less uncomfortable.
The night goes on and so do my contractions, right now, I hate summer because the humid heat isn't making this whole process any better because it feels like nothing my mom or Peeta do to try to cool me down works. I try not to think about the pain, instead I think about Peeta, about Prim, about anything that can distract me from the pain that I'm feeling so often but I can't seem to distract myself. We try and get me moving as much as I can but I can only do so much because my home says that I'm having the fastest labor she's ever seen which to me doesn't sound all that bad, it still feels like an eternity, it'd be nice if this baby could come within the hour.
I whimper at an intense contraction, Peeta coaxes me through it and I just focus on his deep voice. I look over at him and see that he doesn't look like he's taking this well
"What's wrong?" I sigh as it finishes
"I just... I hate that I can't take away this pain. I wish I could take most of it, I feel so helpless" he frowns, I take his hand and kiss it
"It's okay. It's all worth it" I smile, he kisses my cheek and he sits against the headboard of our bed so that I can rest my head on his chest. The night pulls on until my mom checks me again, it's time to push, I get ready and take Peetas hand then once I feel the contraction I push as hard as I can, I let out a little scream as I do but I'm focusing on getting this damn baby out of me. Peeta whispers encouraging words in my ear which gives me the strength to keep going and listen to my mothers instructions, a few pushes later I immediately feel better, little cries fill the room as my mom announces our baby
"It's a girl" she smiles, placing the crying baby on my bare chest and I don't stop myself as I cry because she's the perfect little baby that I've ever seen and she's all ours, I look to Peeta who is crying too then looks to me and we share a kiss, all that fear and terrified feeling has left my body as I hold our baby in my arms, soundly asleep. My mom lets Peeta cut the cord and take the baby while she instructs me through what I need to before I can finally relax, she lets Peeta watch as she washes our little girl, after she wraps her up she gives her to Peeta then he brings her over and lays her in my arms
"Our little Pearl" I smile, I look to Peeta who's smiling too, although I want to just hold her right now, I just want to clean up because I feel gross and I smell, I give her to Peeta and I sit up
"Katniss. Slow down, you just need to rest" mom says but I shake my head
"I need a shower. I think after all of this I should be able to have a shower" I reply
"It's okay, I can carry her there and back" Peeta says, passing our daughter to my mom, Peetas touches are soft when he's washing me and it makes me smile. After I'm all clean and dressed Peeta carries me out, while I was washing up my mom has changed the sheets to fresh ones and there's a note on my pillow saying that Pearl is in the bassinet, my mom is taking her papers to the justice building and she'll be back later on, so Peeta lays me in bed and takes Pearl from her bassinet then lays her in my arms, he also moves the bassinet right by my bed, he climbs in next to us and smiles
"You were amazing, Katniss" he says, I look down at our daughter with a smile, so much love for this tiny baby
"I love her so much" I whisper, kissing her forehead
"I love her too, I love you. My two beautiful girls who are all mine" he smiles kissing my cheek. We stay awake admiring Pearl before putting her in the middle of us and falling asleep. The cries of Pearl wake me and I immediately take her but as she cries I have no idea what to do, as if on que my mom walks in, I look to her for help and she smiles
"She's hungry. It will be hard at first but try leading her and keeping her attached" she instructs, I nod and undo the buttons of my pyjama dress, guiding her as best as I can, my mom gives me hand when I'm having trouble but eventually she latches on and starts feeding, by now Peeta has woken and watches as I nurse our daughter, her mouth slips out a few times but I help her back to my nipple and my mom smiles at me
"You're a natural. A lot of mothers don't get it first go" mom says and I look to Peeta who's already smiling, once Pearl is finished my mom shows me the different ways to get a burp out of her and a lot of helpful tips that I know for sure will help. I stay in bed the entire day and night, feeling too tired to try and do anything but I did enjoy changing Pearl into her first diaper and short length one piece. She woke up a few times that night and it was usually to feed, the next morning I'm walking around, it's painful when I do but I want to walk around as much as I can and Peeta helps if it's too painful, right now I'm laying on the couch with Pearl asleep on my chest, I kiss the top of her head and smile at the ebony coloured hair on the top of her head
"You know that suits you" Peeta smiles, lifting my legs and sitting down then laying my legs across his lap
"Well, it feels good. I'm happy she's here" I say, rubbing her back while taking the cheesebun he offers, I eat the cheesebun and enjoy the feeling of not having all the extra weight. Later on in the day Hazel, Vick and Posy come to visit, although I would've preferred next week I didn't say anything because I know that they meant well
"She's so cute" Posy smiles at Pearl who lays in my arms, looking at Posy
"She is, isn't she" I agree, smiling
"How was the birth?" Hazelle asks and I shrug
"It hurt. Real bad but I got through it" I reply
"She was amazing" Peeta says kissing my cheek, I'm thankful when Hazelle said that I just keep her when I offered her if she wanted to hold Pearl, I was actually hoping that she would refuse because I don't think I'm ready to let people hold her yet
"Did you want to see her room?" I ask and Hazelle nods, I hand Pearl over to Peeta while I show Hazelle and Posy Pearls Now finished room, her crib on one side of the room, a mat for changing her on that have draws for all her clothing and a whole bunch of baby things that Effie had sent us
"This is amazing. I didn't know Peeta was so good" Hazelle says
"I know, it's really peaceful in here" I smile then we make our way downstairs, I smile as Peeta kisses all over Pearls face, he really is enjoying this which makes me enjoy it even more, I sit back next to him
"So, how is Gale and Johanna handling having a baby and a toddler?" I chuckle
"Very well, little Nessa is four months in three days. Her and Pearl aren't very far apart" Hazelle says
"I know, it's funny at how it all ends up" I chuckle. Hazelle and the kids don't stay very long, which I'm thankful for because right now I just want to be with my husband and our daughter. My mom checks in to see how we're going and how Pearl is doing, she said that she'll stick around for a couple more days before going back to district four, she also said that she can come back every month. Later in the day my mom gives Pearl a shot to prevent something, it was the worst thing I could watch as she cried and I had to let it happen, I picked her up immediately and got her to stop crying, my mom tells me that she'll need three more done for her to be healthy which I was mixed about because I hated witnessing that.
Pearl seems fine from her shot which was reassuring but I still kept her close to me, I never expected myself to enjoy motherhood like I do right now and the love I have for her is both scary and heartwarming but I know that I will always protect her with my last dying breath, she already means so much to us. Days passed and Sunday comes up, Haymitch enjoys holding Pearl although I know that he won't admit it he loves her already and not just Peeta is wrapped around her finger, it's reassuring to know that she's already loved and that she can have a normal childhood without fearing that the next day may be her last, I will never let that happen, ever.
Haymitch stays later than usual until he decides to leave. I get dressed in my sleepwear and I look at Peeta with a smile, Pearl laying on his bare chest, she's curled up like a ball and fast asleep. I get into bed next to him and lay my face on his chest so I'm face to face with Pearl, I hear Peeta let out a sigh
"We've come so far... from being in the games to here, a baby on my chest and my beautiful wife who I love endlessly in my arms" he says hugging me closer to him
"I love this feeling, of being a mother" I sigh
"That's what's going to make you an amazing mother. You'll love Pearl with all your heart" he replies, I lean an inch closer to place a soft kiss on her tiny nose
"You'll be an amazing father to. It'll be interesting when she starts to date" I chuckle
"She's not dating. I'll scare all the boys away" Peeta replies rubbing his daughter's small back, I have a feeling that our lives are going to be extremely interesting and it makes me look forward to it, especially looking forward to see how our daughter will grow.
+++
I have a new favourite sound. Pearls laugh. It's too cute and the laugh she's doing is one that only Peeta can get out of her, it's been five months since I gave birth to Pearl and it's been the best five months of our lives. Pearl I can tell really loves Peeta because every time he walks into the room she smiles and giggles, it's the cutest thing but she also really loves it when I sing to her and she loves cuddling me on days that Peeta is at the bakery, those days seem less lonely now that Pearl is in them. Willow really enjoys Pearl around and always follows her if someone is walking around or passing her to someone else, Willow is like her protector, even Buttercup enjoys being around Buttercup, I caught him sleeping by her crib when she was having a nap one time.
Peeta walks in holding Pearl and gives me a kiss as I wash Pearls empty bottles, Peeta has been amazing with Pearl, when I'm too tired and Pearl would wake up during the night he would get her and feed her if she needed, we both work with each other but it hasn't been all sunshine and rainbows because lack of sleep can really get to you, Peeta and I have had our fair share of causing an argument with each other, it's usually about something small but we talk it out and apologies for what we said then we carry on with our day, other than that Peeta and I are coping well with the new change
"I think she's hungry" Peeta chuckles, I look to Pearl who whimpers as she sucks her fist, I take her from Peeta with a smile, I undo the button of my shirt and she immediately latches on, I chuckle while adjusting her headband
"Annie said she and your mom can make it for Christmas. She's excited to see Pearl again" Peeta says
"Doesn't surprise me, last time she saw Pearl she was only a month old" I reply
"She really is loved by all" Peeta grins and I do too because it's true, everyone she's met she's been adored by, since birth her eyes have changed from the midnight blue to a more cerulean colour which means she's inherited Peetas enchanting blues, she also inherited his fare skin but I've been told the rest of her is very much like me.
As expected Annie comes for Christmas and lets my mom stay with us seeing as we don't exactly have the room for two people anymore. Pearl is entranced by Annie's red hair and loves reaching out to pull on it, she tries reaching out for Flynn's eyes too which was funny to see because Flynn had to move completely out of her reach
"She's precious, you guys. She's really cuddly" Annie giggles as Pearl lays on her chest
"Yeah she is, mostly because when she's not having time on her belly she's being held. It's hard to think that she's five months old. I don't like how fast time goes" I frown and Peeta hugs me close to him because I know that he feels the exact same. As we eat our Eve of Christmas dinner, Flynn tells us about school and what he's been doing, but then he asks probably the most awkward question
"Where did Pearl come from?" Flynn asks, Peeta almost chokes on his water, I have to pat his back to get him through his coughing fit, Pearl startled underneath the blanket I'm covering her with so I can feed her privetly
"She came from my belly. Remember? When I had the big lump" I tell him
"Ooooh. How'd she get in there" I look to Peeta, he's the one who's good with words, he should be the one talking
"She uh... well you see, Katniss had to..." I bite my lip to stop myself from laughing at Peetas beet-red face
"I'll tell you when your a little older, sweetie. That's privet for aunty Katniss and uncle Peeta" Annie says rubbing her sons back, saving the day, she gives us a reassuring look then Flynn nods his head
"Okay mommy" he smiles, Annie chuckles and kisses his cheek. Soon Annie and Flynn leave to go to Haymitchs next door while my mom goes to bed, I sit in the rocking chair by the window of our room as I sing the meadow song to Pearl, it's moments like these that I lock away and keep for when I'm having a bad day because I know this'll make me feel better, I smile as I look down to see that Pearl is fast asleep so I get up carefully then I put her in the bassinet by the bed
"I love hearing you sing" Peeta smiles as I climb in next to him, laying my head on his chest
"I love doing it, especially for her" I reply, enjoying the comfort of being in his arms and our daughter fast asleep inches away. The next morning we exchange presents, most of them where for Pearl sent or brought over by Peeta, Effie sent her two piles of different outfits and two piles of toys, Effie is going to have to cut back on giving her things because her toy chest can only have a certain amount of toys and it's almost filled. Annie, Flynn and Haymitch come over too, Haymitch giving Pearl her gift
"I didn't know you were the present buying kind of guy" I smirk, helping Pearl unwrap it and when I do I smile up at Haymitch, it's Prims goat stuffed teddy but it's not the exact one but it's brand new and looks just like it
"I thought that it would remind you a lot about your sister but it's new so Pearl can have something to have close to her to remind her of your sister" Haymitch explains, I give Pearl to Peeta and get up to hug Haymitch
"Thank you, Haymitch. That was really kind of you" I thank, kissing his cheek, he smiles at me
"It was no problem, sweetheart" he chuckles. Later on, closer to nightfall the Hawthorne's join us and Pearl meets Gale, Johanna, Mason and Nessa, the two baby's hit it off straight away and enjoy being around each other, Nessa would sit playing with Pearl which was cute to see
"They seem to like each other" Gale says walking up next to me
"Definietly. So, are you and Johanna planning anymore in the future?" I ask, Gale shrugs
"I'd like to maybe have one more when Ness is older" he says
"What about you?" He asks, I look at Peeta who lays next to Pearl with a bright smile
"I can see so" I answer and Gale grins
"I knew this was who you were deep down. I'm happy that you've found yourself, Katnip" he says
"Thanks, Gale" I smile and he does too, I feel like Christmas's from now on are going to be like this for a long time.
+++
"Happy birthday, mommy!" Peeta skilfully holds Pearl on his hip and a tray of breakfast in the other
"Mama!" She squeals and crawls to me as Peeta places her on our bed
"There's beautiful little Pearl" I smile kissing her cheek, Peeta places the tray on my lap and I kiss him on the lips
"Happy birthday my love" he says and I smile, he holds Pearl next to me while I eat my breakfast, Peeta being the amazing husband and father he is has already fed Pearl a bottle of my milk and some banana before bringing me breakfast. Pearl is ten months old and she said "dada" yesterday night when Peeta was bathing her and when I came in she called me "mama" it was a special moment for us and now whenever we enter the room she says it, although it's good, it also means that she's growing up and it just makes me sad when I think about it, Nessa turned one in April and I started crying because that means Pearl is going to be one soon, it happens to me sometimes but I can't help it.
I finish my breakfast and Peeta takes it away to wash everything up and leaves me with Pearl. I lay her on my lap and blow on her tummy which I found makes her hesterical, after having alone time with her I take her downstairs where Peeta is putting the last dish away, I smirk at his bare chest and run my hand up it
"Have I told you how much I love you not wearing a shirt?" I ask, kissing him
"You've mentioned it. Reason why I'm not wearing one right now" he grins, Peeta gives me a gift, I've given up protesting when he does this so I just let him and instead I get him a gift or two for his birthday but this is by far the best, a painting of Peeta, Pearl and I, it's perfectly detailed and of course looks extremely real
"Peeta. This is beautiful" I say, kissing his cheek and he smiles
"I knew you'd like it" he replies
"No I don't like it, I love it" I correct him and he chuckles, later on in the day we decide to go to the meadow and take Willow with us. When we get there it's like always beautiful, the grass soft and green, flowers reborn from the fall and winter, Peeta holds onto Pearls tiny hands and helps her to stand on the grass, my mom told me that she's very advanced because she can already walk if someone is holding her arms, my mom thinks that she might be walking before she turns one which saddens me a little because I don't want her growing up too soon.
We spend all day in the meadow and we even watch the sunset, the walk home was a peaceful one, we enjoyed hearing Pearl babble something in jibberish. We get home and it's time to feed Pearl so I prepare her bottle with my milk in it while Peeta starts cooking our dinner, I grab the memory book and smile at the fresh page and I read my handwriting
Pearl Primrose Mellark
Beloved daughter of Katniss and Peeta Mellark.
Born giving a new found light into her parents lives on that summer night.
She brings happiness to our lives and we love her so much
A new found piece in our still wounded hearts.
Writing about Pearl was really easy for me because my love for her doesn't have a description because there isn't one that could describe it. She's our everything, our light on our dark days and I will never ever regret having her because she's been the best thing that has happened to us, I realised that all that time ago why I felt so empty... it was because I didn't have Pearl, she filled that emptiness and she was the missing piece to our complicated puzzle.
+++
Two months come in a flash and Pearl is turning one, walking around already, it's all happening too quick. Johanna, Gale, Mason and Nessa are the first ones here, Pearl and Nessa play together nicely on the floor, Mason joining in too
"Johanna and I were talking and we were thinking of moving here. Two is so far away and Nessa seems to be getting close to Pearl so we were thinking of moving here" Gale says as he helps Peeta and I set the table
"Really? I think that'd be really great" I smile and he does too
"I'm glad you think so" he replies. Everyone slowly arrives, even Effie made it and as she picked up Pearl she expected her to be well behaved for her but she forgot she was my daughter, Pearl pulled off Effie's extravagant wig and I burst out laughing taking Pearl from Effie as she readjusts her wig, I'm going have to reward Pearl later for that. During the day everyone chats to each other while the kids play and after everyone has had dinner it's time for cake, a cake that Peeta had made, it's decorated with primroses and pearls, it looks so real that it doesn't look like it's even edible but it is and it is delicious
"This is the best cake I've ever tasted" Posy says, everyone moaning in agreement which causes Peetas cheeks to light up. By the end of the night everyone has left and Pearl is barely awake enough to have a bath and get dressed, at least that means she'll sleep through the night. I go downstairs and help Peeta to clean up
"It was a good day today" I say and he smiles
"It definitely was. Our little Pearl, already a year old, seems like just yesterday that she was born" Peeta sighs sadly and I hug him
"I'm glad that you helped me see that having children isn't all that bad because it's not. I can't imagine our lives without Pearl in it, my mom was right because it was totally worth the pain for her" I admit, he kisses the top of my head
"You're a fantastic mom, Katniss" he says
"And you're a fantastic dad. She's lucky that she has you as a dad. Just like I'm happy to have you as my husband who I'll love unconditionally. Always" I tell him and we share a sweet kiss before continuing to clean up, wondering what the upcoming years now hold for us.