Ever since that incident, Ahn avoided Ken like plague. Palaging may malaking distansyang nakapagitan sa kanilang dalawa. And it's driving him crazy. Sa tuwing kakausapin niya ang asawa, tango, iling o kibit-balikat lang ang sagot nito. Hindi sya makalapit kahit wala namang nakaharang. It's like she put up an invisible wall between them.
"Breakfast mo," sabi niya rito. He pushed the plate of egg rolls towards her.
Tumango lang ito saka ipinagpatuloy ang pagbabasa ng libro.
"The book can wait, Ahn. Kumain ka muna."
"You're not my dad. Don't act like him."
"I'm not. I'm acting like your husband."
She raised an eyebrow, amusement all over her face.
"Sa pagkakaalam ko, asawa lang kita kapag nasa harap tayo ng parents mo."
"We're still married weather we act married or not," giit niya rito. He didn't know Ahn could be this stubborn. Noong magkasama sila parati dati, mabait naman ito sa kanya, considerate, tango lang nang tango.
Ngayon halos lahat ng gawin niya, sinasalungat nito.
"Okay," she said with a shrug.
He wanted to erase that smug look on her face, pero hindi niya ito pwedeng lapitan. He sat at across her. Ahn ignored him completely. Mukhang absorbed na absorbed ito sa binabasa.
"What are you reading?"
"A book," she replied curtly.
Sinilip niya ang title ng libro. If I Stay. "Iya has the same book," he told her. Hindi siya pinansin nito. Sighing, he grabbed a plate and ate his breakfast, occasionally glancing at her. She was still engrossed with the book. Sumisimangot pa ito o ngumingiti.
"Maganda?" he asked, trying to strike a conversation.
Tumingin ito sa kanya and for a fraction of moment, he was able to see her real feelings. Her eyes were glassy, teary-eyed. But she quickly covered it with a bland look then she shrugged again.
Hindi na siya umimik pa, sa takot na mabara ulit. After finishing his meal, he stood up and washed the dirty dish on the sink. Pagkatapos ay umakyat na siya sa kwarto.
--
Pagkaakyat ni Ken ay isinara agad ni Ahn ang libro para kumain. Kanina pa nagrereklamo ang tiyan niya, lalo na nang magsimulang kumain si Ken. She didn't know why he cooked breakfast for her. Ilang araw na rin itong mabait sa kanya. Ipinagtitimpla siya ng kape at ipinagluluto sa umaga. He helped her clean the house. Pinapauna siya nito paliligo. And he asked her out a few times, as many times as she turned him down.
Dahil kaya sa nagi-guilty pa rin ito dahil muntikan na siyang ma-rape? Or was he embarrassed with that scene at the door? Pinamulahan siya nang magawi iyon sa alaala niya.
Dinama niya ang mga labi. It's almost a week since their wedding day. Pero ramdam pa rin niya ang mga labi ni Ken. They were soft and sweet, literally sweet, though she didn't know how that's even possible. Baka lumaklak ito ng asukal bago sila ikasal.
She wanted to kiss him again. She even wanted to do something more than that. It's mind-boggling to realize that six year ago, she just wanted to be his friend. She just wanted him to smile warmly at her, to acknowledge her presence and to make her feel special. Kasi dati, bilang lang sa isang kamay ang mga babaeng espesyal dito, not counting his family.
She didn't know that it's possible to desire someone, so close to her, so much. The sad part is, if she succumbs to her desires, then sana yung one-night stand na lang ang pinili niya. She entered this marriage knowing that she will have to do her wifely duties someday. It's inevitable. But that doesn't mean that she will make it easy for him.
Ayaw niyang mabuntis. It's one thing to be trapped inside a one-sided marriage. Pero mas magiging komplikado kung magkakaanak sila.
Shaking the thought off her head, she ate the egg rolls while reading her book. That's not going to happen. She won't let it.
--
A few days later, Ken decided to go back to working. His company in Canada offered him a position on their Philippine branch. They thought about having him continue his old job online, pero hassle din kung kakailanganin niyang mag-hands on sa trabaho. So instead, they offered him the same job dito naman sa Pilipinas with the condition that he will fly to Canada every quarter.
As for Ahn, plano rin yata nito ang mag-apply ng trabaho. Sinabi niya ritong hindi na nito kailangang magtrabaho pero hindi ito nakinig sa kanya. Katwiran nito, wala itong gagawin maghapon sa bahay kundi tumunganga.
"And what's wrong with that?" he asked. "May TV naman. You have your books."
"Boredom will kill me," she answered. "Kung ayaw mo akong pagtrabahuhin, then at least let me stay with my parents kahit every weekdays."
Syempre pa, hindi siya pumayag. Gusto niyang makikita niya ito tuwing umaga at mauuwian tuwing gabi. So when Ahn insisted, he didn't complain any further.
Pero pinilit niya itong sumabay sa kanya papunta sa kumpanyang pag-a-apply-an nito. He also told her to send him a text message kapag pauwi na ito so he could drive her home.
"Kaya kong mag-commute," she said stubbornly.
"Pwede bang huwag kang mareklamo?" inis niyang tanong.
Padabog itong sumakay ng kotse dahil mali-late na ito sa naka-set nitong interview.
"Put on your seatbealt."
She grunted. "I know."
--
Kaya naman niyang mag-commute pero sapilitan siyang pinasakay ng kotse ni Ken. It pissed her off, knowing that she had to sit there with him on the driver's seat for a few minutes. He purposely went to work later than his schedule para maisabay siya sa pagpasok.
Ten in the morning ang interview niya so they left the house a little after nine. Naiinis siya dahil umaarte na naman itong parang asawa niya. Technically, wala namang problema. But he doesn't need to act like he cares.
Hindi na siya nagpaalam nang iparada nito ang sasakyan sa tapat ng building ng kumpanyang pinag-sumitehan niya ng application. She headed straight inside.
May dalawa pang aplikante ang nakapila. Isang lalaki na medyo may edad at isang babae na mukhang matanda lang sa kanya ng ilang taon. She sat next to the woman and waited for her turn.
Nang lumabas ang isang applicant ay agad na tinawag ang kasunod na interviewee. A staff asked her to get ready because she will be interviewed next. The woman raised an eyebrow. Appparently, it's not a matter of who came in first. Stick to the interview schedule sila. The woman was one hour early.
When it was her turn ay inayos niya ang sarili at saka huminga ng malalim. She greeted the interviewer with a smile, sat down and handed him her resumé.
Maya-maya's kumunot ang noo nito at tumingin sa kanya.
"You're married?"
She blushed. "Yes, sir."
"Were you pregnant?" Nang umiling siya ay agad itong nag-apologize. "I'm sorry for prying. It's just that, you hardly look like an adult and yet you're already married."
"It's a long story," simple niyang sabi.
Ngumiti ito. "One that I don't need to hear. So, you're applying for the job that requires at least one year of work experience, but you have no work experience. So tell me, why should we hire you?"
The interview lasted for twenty minutes. Pinakamahirap na yatang tanong iyong ano ang maidadagdag niya sa growth ng company at yung expected salary niya. Alam niyang naliligaw minsan ang sagot niya. Ilang beses niyang nahuling kumunot ang noo ng interviewer. After the interview, he shook her hand lightly and told her that they would call her kung matatanggap man siya.
Hindi na siya umasa.
Pumunta na lang siya sa pinakamalapit na Mcdo chain at saka siya bumili ng ice cream sundae. She needs to find a job, not because her family needs it. May kaya naman sila dahil may trabaho ang mommy at daddy niya tapos ay panay pa ang padala ng kung anu-ano ng lolo at lola niyang may kanya-kanyang pamilya sa states. She needs it for herself. Ayaw niyang umasa kay Ken sa mga gastusin niya. Baka singilin pa siya nito pagdating ng panahon.
She was halfway through the cup when she received a message from him.
From: Ken
Hey, how did it go?
Pinag-isipan pa niya kung magre-reply siya rito. Ano naman ang mahihita niya? Matatanggap ba siya sa trabaho kung sakali?
Sighing, she typed a reply.
To: Ken
Okay lang
Ilang segundo lang ang nakalilipas nang magreply ito.
From: Ken
Tanggap ka ba?
:)
She started typing 'hindi' pero nasa H-I-N pa lang siya nang biglang may tumawag sa kanya.
"Ahn?"
"Uy, Greg!"
Ngumiti ito at naupo sa bakanteng upuan sa tapat niya. "Kumusta na? Congrats nga pala."
"Thanks. Working ka na?"
Tumango ito. "Yeah. Last week lang nag-start. Ikaw?"
She shrugged. "Heto... rejected."
He gave her a sympathetic smile. "Okay lang yan. Makahahanap ka rin."
"Oo nga e," sagot na lamang niya.
"Teka, baka gusto mong mag-apply sa 'min? I think hiring pa sila e. May extra ka pang resumé?"
She nodded.
"Tita ko yung head ng HR. Sabihin ko sa kanyang mag-a-apply ka. Gusto mo?"
"Sige!" Ngumiti siya. "Thanks, Greg!"
"No problem. Tapos ka na ba dyan?" He pointed at her sundae. When she nodded, tumayo na ito. "Then let's go!"