Omera
"Don't you ever feel like whenever you start getting happier things just mess up?" I say out loud with a a sigh, hugging the couch cushion. Maci curiously peers at me from the kitchen.
"What do you mean?" She questions, she came over to my apartment again to make me dinner. After the dinner with Ryan yesterday I honestly need Maci's company. Not that the dinner was bad, I just was overwhelmed with what's happening in my life.
"Like, I finally found someone who loves me and whom I love. Now all this drama with Dan happens. Why is this happening?" I ask. I don't expect Maci to have an answer because there is no answer.
"It's all really weird. It's like he knew you were getting married or something. The universe probably set it up." She shrugs, I inhale deeply and smile slightly at the smell at Maci's cooking, smells like Alfredo.
"Then the universe sucks," I sigh bringing the pillow to my face.
"But that is sort of weird, maybe you should find out why he's here." Maci advises to me, she seems to have finished up her cooking, she plates the food.
"Should I? Come here, let's text him." I say, sitting up on the couch and reaching for my phone.
"Really? This is so exciting, it's like we're detectives," Maci cheers as she rushes over with two plates of pasta.
"Detectives? Maci, you're so cute," I giggle as I grab one plate from her, she blushes slightly.
"Wow, you never fail to amaze me with your cooking," I compliment her as I take a bite of the shrimp Alfredo.
"I love cooking for you," she smiles. I look down at my phone and remember that the note I have is still in my purse. I reach to the floor and pull out the note, typing it into my phone.
"Hey, I know it's kind of awkward to ask but why did you come back?"
Nah.
"Listen why the hell did you come back right when I'm about to get married? That's so suspicious."
Too much.
"Go back to where you came from"
I mentally face palm.
"Just say 'hey' to him, nothing too much," Maci advises.
"Okay," I agree, slowly typing the word into my phone.
"Hey"
"I sent it," I say feeling an enormous amount of nerves take over me, I turn to bite my nails.
"Wow, he responded pretty fast," Maci says, I look down at my phone and sure enough there is a response from the unsaved number. I don't like how it looks so I save him under Dan.
Dan: Hey Omera
Maci grabs the phone from me and types rapidly.
Omera: I think we need to talk about things
"No Maci, he's going to think I actually want to talk to him." I protest.
"Don't you want to?" She raises an eyebrow, I look at her angrily and don't even want tot accept what she's saying. I continue eating the pasta Maci made and I hear her typing rapidly on my phone.
"Okay, it's done. I'll be leaving." Maci says as she puts her phone down next to her plate of untouched pasta,
"Leaving? Why?" I ask her, immediately standing up to follow her to the door. She slips on her shoes and grabs her purse.
"He's coming over right now." She explains and I begin to panic.
"What do you mean?" I ask frantically, she smiles and leans to kiss me on the cheek.
"Bye Omera," she cheers leaving my apartment.
-
I nervously bite my nails as I reread what Maci texted to Dan for the hundredth time.
Dan: Hey Omera
Omera: I think we need to talk about things
Dan: Are you sure? I don't want you to feel like you have to talk to me
Omera: I want to do this. I need answers.
Dan: Okay, ask away.
Omera: I want them in person, now.
Dan: Now?
Omera: Yes.
Maci follows with sending him my location and apartment number, it's been twenty minutes and he's still not here. I've just been pacing around my apartment thinking of how I would even navigate this conversation.
I hear the buzzer from outside my door, how did he get in without me buzzing him from downstairs? I decide not to question it and walk over to the door.
I take a deep breath and open the door slowly.
I see him dressed in a gray sweater and black jeans, for some reason my heart starts racing with a familiar nervous feeling. The same feeling I had back in boarding school when I would knock on his door every time. I got in trouble a lot now that I think about it.
"Come in," I say with a small awkward smile, stepping aside to let him walk in. As he walks past me his familiar scent fills the space around me, the nostalgia is too much for me.
He sits on the couch and looks at me with a little smile, "You smell the same,"
"I was just thinking the same thing," I blurt, mirroring his smile. I quickly shake my head and snap out of the trance I almost fell in, taking a seat in the couch as well.
"Nice necklace," I tell him, looking down at his necklace, I don't think I've ever seen him wear jewelry. It's a necklace with a small tree as a charm on it.
"Oh thanks, it was gift from Tree," he grabs ahold of it. I almost forgot he had a son, I miss that little kid and how sweet he was.
"How is he?" I ask him.
"He's doing great, he's in primary school," Dan smiles widely, seeing him loving his son so much makes me smile. I'm glad he didn't ditch his kid the same way he ditched everyone else, I bite my tongue to prevent me from saying it out loud.
"That's great, he truly was a great kid," I compliment, Dan thanks me and looks down at my hands.
"No ring?" He looks confused, I open my mouth to explain but let out a nervous chuckle.
"No, I'm not really a huge fan of rings to be quite honest. I like having my fingers free." I say, moving my fingers to demonstrate. "But I'll probably start wearing it more soon,"
"That's understandable, I never really seen you with any rings," he says quietly, it seems he's thinking back into the past.
"Listen, I'm just curious as to why you came back after so long," I say finally, the time for small talk is over, I need answers.
He sighs, "I think it was just time for me to come back,"
"The timing is too perfect," I egg him on, he looks at me with a blank expression.
"Do you think I came back because you're getting married?" He says with a smile, I immediately blush and shake my head.
"I did but I guess maybe you didn't," I say softly, suddenly feeling embarrassed. I hate the dynamic right now, I'm supposed to hate him and throw him out of my house but the situation is too tense,
"No, I did." He clarifies.
"Oh..." I reply with a bit of shock. "Why?"
"Listen, I'm not trying to steal you away or anything. I honestly just wanted to get closure and the only way to do that is see you get married off to some guy," he explains to me, in the course of his little speech he somehow moved closer to me, or maybe I moved closer to him. I don't know but we were too close.
"You really hurt me, Dan." I tell him softly, looking down at my hands and playing with my fingers.
"I feel like saying sorry is going to do more harm than good," he says after a pause. I feel my eyes well up slightly with tears, he places his hand under my chin and lifts my head to make my eyes meet his.
I'm so confused and the hurt I felt over this man is still heavy on my heart. Am I really getting married when Dan still makes my heart race? If my heart still has an ounce of love for him? I suddenly feel a heavy weight on my shoulders.
"I don't know what I'm doing," I say softly to him, he looks at me with concern.
"It's okay, tell me what's wrong," he speaks softly, I let a small tear fall, I can't believe I'm having a breakdown right now.
"I finally had my life together and I thought I made the right decisions but now I feel like the biggest idiot in the world." I explain to him, I bury my face in my hands, not wanting him to see me cry. I wipe away my tears and sniffle slightly, looking out my window.
He pulls me into a hug and I bury my face into his chest, "Omera, you're the smartest woman I know. You deserve the world."
My heart fills with a tremendous amount of guilt when I think of Ryan. Here I am in another man's arms while Ryan is nothing but loyal to me. I'm such a terrible person.
"I'm a terrible person," I say out loud, pressing my cheek against Dan's chest as he tightens his arms around me.
"Why do you say that?" He asks me with a sad tone.
"For some reason I'm here with you and I feel so comfortable. I shouldn't feel like this." I say softly to him, I reach up and wipe away another tear.
He pauses. "I don't know what to say."
"I don't know to do," I respond with nothing but sadness in my heart.
—
A/N:
I relate a lot to this chapter, it felt nice to write to be honest.
Next update coming soon, can't really think of a schedule so it's random now.