Whaaaat? A new chapter? Turns out I haven't vanished from the face of the earth, just been caught up in school, work and volunteering. Hopefully more chapters to come soon, but I can't promise anything ;)
Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's been showing their support by voting and commenting on these TFP stories. You're my motivation, always have been and always will be. Thanks lovelies and enjoy!
No Episode
[Amanda]
I watched from the perch that overlooked the new base as Team Prime was at work. Ratchet and Raf were adding the finishing touches to the new ground bridge while Bumblebee, Arcee, Bulkhead, and Wheeljack drove back and forth between here and the wreckage of the old base, bringing the key pieces of tech so that Ratchet could construct the important things we used to have. Jack and Miko were with Nurse Darby, watching over the people of Jasper that were all in a camp not far from the base. Finn and Agent Fowler were in the office behind me, discussing what happens next with a bunch of important military people. I had already set up a meeting with the board of directors at BeckIT for later this afternoon, but since it wasn't even noon yet, I had nothing to do. I couldn't muster the courage to check out how my house was, not ready to see what my mom thought of as our castle as a bunch of rubble.
That wasn't true. I just wasn't ready to see it alone, and the only one I wanted to go with was otherwise occupied.
This morning, Agent Fowler had driven in with a brand new, military grade truck, and I think that's when my doubts really set in...
"Prime," Agent Fowler hopped out of the truck. "What we have here is an experimental, all-terrain expeditionary fighting vehicle, designed by the finest engineers in our MASK division."
The truck was clearly battle ready, built heavy duty and even weapons equipped. Not exactly 'robots in disguise', but it would be much easier to take out Cons without even having to transform.
"Thank you, Agent Fowler," Optimus said, walking forward. "This will most certainly do."
Blue beams shot from his eyes as he scanned the new vehicle mode, making me lose hope of ever seeing the old, familiar Optimus again.
I sighed, shaking off the memory and I stood just as a loud engine sounded at the entrance of the new base.
A loud, unfamiliar engine.
I'd been avoiding that conversation. I knew the others were sensing something was off, but they didn't say anything. They figured it was just because of everything that happened, and they weren't wrong. But it wasn't just that. The sudden unfamiliarity of the entire situation made me more withdrawn, causing me to spend more time reorienting myself and trying not to shut myself out. It didn't help that the one I relied on most was one of the many things that had changed so drastically.
That's why as Optimus transformed and walked towards Ultra Magnus, I headed down the stairs, ignoring the stab of jealousy that he was going to Magnus and not me.
You've been replaced by a commander. Optimus' second in command. Of course they're close, they've probably been close for eons. How long has he known you again?
So I sent the Prime a quick smile, hoping that he couldn't see how forced it was, and then made a dash for the door, not looking back at him even though I could feel his gaze on me.
"Where are you off to?" Arcee called out, making me skid to a stop.
"I-" I was about to say 'going home', but then realized I couldn't do that. "I'm going for a walk."
"What about a drive?" She walked up to me and transformed. "Hop on."
Her tone implied there was no room for discussion, so I didn't argue. Soon enough, we were speeding out of the military base and into the Nevada desert, far from everything. We drove in silence for a few long minutes before Arcee finally stopped and let me off.
"Okay," I turned to her, putting my hands on my hips. "I know the drill. What did you drive me all the way out here to grill me about?"
She gave me a knowing look. "What's got you acting out of sorts?"
I shrugged, tugging on the sleeves of my t-shirt, which Fowler had given me since my old clothes were all grimy and I refused to take anyone else's, forcing him to give me a military tee.
Arcee crossed her arms. "You're not allowed to shrug me off, A. We're talking lady to lady, just like old times, so the same old rules apply."
"That's just the thing!" I exclaimed. "Nothing is the same!"
A knowing look crossed her face. "It's not just the base or Jasper, because you've got control over that." Her voice trailed off as she connected the dots. "Optimus?"
I sat down, not caring that my jeans were going to get all dusty, and dropped my head into my hands. "I know it's stupid, but it's like he's not the same. He's always talking with Ultra Magnus now, who doesn't even like to acknowledge I exist, and he's telling Magnus everything he used to tell me! And it's not that I want to be the only person he ever talks to, but it feels like he doesn't need to talk to me anymore because he has Magnus. And we can't even have anymore long drives because of his new vehicle mode, which basically goes against every rule of robots in disguise. So he isn't telling me things anymore, we can't go on drives anymore, he's completely different, and I'm supposed to pretend everything is fine?"
Arcee sat down next to me. "I know it seems like things are changing really quickly, but you can't dwell on that, especially in a war like this one. One day everything can be fine, and the next all your teammates can be captured by the enemy. You've got to be ready to adapt whenever necessary, and now is one of those times."
"I guess," My voice trailed off and we fell silent before I spoke up again. "You know, I was just getting used to everything. At the old base, before the search for the relics and Omega Keys picked up. Is it selfish for me to want to go back to that?"
"Not at all. I wish we could go back to that too," The femme stared off at the horizon, clearly deep in her own thoughts. "There are so many moments I wanted to go back to, but think about it like this. If we didn't move forward, those good memories we want to go back to wouldn't exist. If I wanted to go back to the time when the Autobots were winning the war, I'd never be here. We only make the good memories by pushing through the bad ones and fighting to move forward so that we can reach those happy moments."
We fall silent again, and I sense her slipping into her memories. I let her words sink in, staring down at my hands, until I see a glimmer of silver pass over my fingertips. That's when I smile a bit and stand up.
"You're tricky, you know," I said. "You act all tough and kick butt, but you're a softie Arcee."
She snapped out of her thoughts, grinning down at me. "Now you've got me all figured out. Just don't tell anyone; I already threatened the others and I hope I don't have to threaten you too."
"Your secret's safe with me," I winked.
She tilted her head to the side. "How about we spar for a round? Blow some steam?"
"Like old times?" I joked.
"Meaning you'll lose like old times."
"Oh you're on."
~~
I returned to the base just as the sunset painted the darkening sky. The meeting with the BeckIT board of directors took longer than I had anticipated, but it was understandable. To rebuild an entire town like Jasper would be a big project, and the directors needed to understand every part of the operation.
I drove my black Audi RS7 into the new base, parking on the side. I didn't go to the Beckett Manor yet, still not ready, and Arcee instead dropped me off in Fernley, where I got a taxi to the BeckIT corporate building. That's where I got the black blazer, white blouse, and black pants from, along with the Audi that I always kept parked in the underground garage. Luckily, I had things like these scattered all over the BeckIT properties around the world.
The base was buzzing with movement. Raf and Ratchet were still working on the ground bridge, but the looks on their faces told me that they were close. Bulkhead and Wheeljack were playing some sort of game that kind of looked like an arm wrestle, but weirder. Smokescreen and Bumblebee were with Jack and Miko, trying to figure out where the living area would be. Ultra Magnus was in the corner, stacking some sort of crates, and Optimus was overlooking Raf and Ratchet's progress, though the Prime looked slightly bored if you asked me.
"A!" Miko exclaimed when she saw me. "How was it?"
I shrugged casually as most of them turned to me. "Not bad. I'll fill you in after I get a chance to look at a few specs."
That made most of them turn back to what they were doing, except for Optimus, who looked unsure if he should do as the others or approach me, and Arcee, who inclined her head towards the Prime.
You talked about this with her. Be ready to adapt. It's part of life. You've gotten good at this, Beckett. Push past the bad moments and make room for the good ones.
"Hey, Optimus?" I looked up at the Prime, who seemed a little surprised. Guilt shot through me, but I shoved it aside. "Want to come with me to the house?"
He didn't reply for a moment, clearly still a little surprised, but quickly regained his composure and nodded before transforming. I climbed up into his passenger seat, ignoring the urge to withdraw from how different his new vehicle mode was, and he began to drive out. We drove in silence, my worries about my relationship with the Prime becoming worries about the state of the manor. Thankfully, the military base was closer to my house, and we didn't have to drive through Jasper. Remnants of the battles around Darkmount littered the streets, making the drive a difficult one, but Optimus drove with ease. Before I knew it, we had stopped, and I realized why.
I opened the door and climbed out, unable to form any words.
I thought I was ready. I thought I was ready. I thought I was ready.
I really wasn't ready.
"Amanda," Optimus' voice brought me back. "I am sorry."
The estate was a mess. The usually pristine lawn that surrounded the manor was torn up and various bits of metal tore through the grass. The fountain, though usually empty, was cracked down the middle, causing the rest of it to crumble inward. The gate around the entire property had holes smashed through it, the culprits being the pieces of metal lying in nearby rocks. The mansion itself was falling apart on one side, a military tank sticking out of the left side of the main floor, causing the upstairs to crumple down as well. The roof of the garage where my mom's collection of cars rested was blown back, exposing the cars to the flying rocks and whatever else crashed through. The usual picture perfect home I knew was nothing like the wreck I was looking at.
I shook my head, swallowing my disbelief and blinking back some treasonous tears as I took a deep breath. "I guess it could be worse. At least half of the house is still standing and- and the cars can't be that damaged, they seem protected by the initial debris, and-"
Optimus crouched behind me. "Amanda, you can grieve your home. I know how this land connected you to your mother. To grieve it is not selfish."
"Or overdramatic?" I tried to joke, but my tone fell flat.
He gave me a kind smile. "It is not overdramatic either."
My breathing shaky, I shake my head. "It could be worse."
"It could. But it is still your home. Any damage may hurt. But know the damage can be fixed. No one was killed in the battle at Darkmount, or during any conflict with the Decepticons. While buildings may be fixed, lives cannot. We can rebuild your home so that it matches the one in your memories. We will rebuild because we can."
I gave him a small smile. "And this is why I wanted to bring you to come with me." That's when I couldn't take it anymore. "Optimus, I'm sorry I've been acting weird lately."
"As am I."
"Huh?" I was taken aback. "What are you talking about?"
"I should not have given you a lesser priority in the wake of all the changes we have gone through. I know that you do not like to be thrust into a new situation this drastically and have not attempted to support you when I should have."
"Optimus, no! It's my fault; I just refuse to adapt to things and I let it get to me. Don't take the blame for something that's totally on me! You did nothing wrong!"
"I know you do not like Ultra Magnus, and I have turned to him more than I have turned to you."
"That's just your old habits," I argued. "I can't blame you for being used to having Ultra Magnus more than me, he's been around for longer."
"That is no excuse-"
I cut him off. "Are we really arguing about who's to blame for us both being weird?"
He gave me a small smile. "You're not allowing me to take the blame."
I was stunned for a second, then laughed, causing his smile to grow a bit.
"You know," I started. "You scared me a lot lately. First with making me ground bridge out with Smokescreen, then by almost dying, then by almost giving up the matrix, and then by charging out to face Megatron alone."
"I am your guardian, Amanda. I am supposed to worry about you."
I shook my head. "Nonsense. I've got to worry about my family too. Especially when they're as worrisome as you are."
That was when I got the biggest smile from Optimus I have ever gotten. It wasn't a lot, if someone didn't know him or even to the other members of the team, they wouldn't notice the difference between this smile and his usually small ones. But this smile reached his eyes, making it more than the rest.
"What do you say we see what we can salvage from here?" I asked. "Hopefully I can find a laptop intact, I've got some work to do and it'd be so much easier if I didn't have to program an entirely new laptop to match my usual ones."
"You never said how your meeting went today," The Prime noted, making me smirk.
"Oh yeah," I shrugged casually. "I wanted to tell you first. Everything is approved."
"Everything?" I could hear the slight happiness in his tone.
"Yup. The plans, the specs, my entire plan to rebuild Jasper is approved and supported by the entire board of directors. The first phase starts tomorrow."
"I'm proud of you, Amanda." His words took a fatherly tone that made me ecstatic, despite the situation.
And it was moments like that that made me glad I pushed past the bad moments to find the good ones. Because the prideful and joyous look on the Prime's face was exactly what made the fight worth it.