Jokes (Just For Laughs) xD

By bookworm14ful

432K 10.1K 1.4K

Disclaimer: I did not come up with any of these jokes, im just posting them on here for entertainment purpose... More

E-Mail from the Afterlife
Delivering Babies
Congratulations
Bad Day
Panic in the Woods
Freds' Note
Caught Speeding
The Price You Pay For Being Good
A Fathers Pain
Busy In Heaven
A Young Businessmen
Guy Getting Robbed
Creative Truck Driver
Bargaining
Messed Up Family
Tattletale
Husband Forgets Anniversary
The Sign...
Messed Up "Romantic" Poem
Wee Hughies Boiled Ham
Mike is Dead
The Most Stupid Man On Earth
Shopping for a Husband
Throwing Pebbles
Bar Challenge (PG)
The Accident
I want a divorce...
A big-game hunter
What are you doing?
Counting In The Hole!
Escaped gay convict [PG (I Think)]
The broken doll
Four guys
Hundreds for One
Dead Again
Disney Divorce Court (PG-13)
Belated Guardian Angel
Hiding in the Closet
Little Johnny... Geometry
Murderous Neighbor
Related Deaths
Cat Rescue
Stop or Slow Down
Gravity-Defying Tequila
Final Test for the CIA
Three Nuns Get Quizzed in Heaven
Three Explorers Choose Their Deaths
Sick Rabbit Trick
Two Black Eyes for a Favor
Walks Into a Bar... Karate Chop
Mad Cow Concern
Walks Into a Bar... Double Vodkas
Names (PG-13)
Accused Brothers
Dear Dad
Truth Behind Dinner
The Bomb
Americans
First Time Cussers
Miser's Final Wish
Secret's Out
Smart Dad
Grandma's Boyfriend
Santa Singh
Drinker, Smoker, Homosexual
Don't Leave 'Em Hanging
Sexual Harrassment
An Atheist and a Bear
Fear
Disease
Ending It All
Forget About It
Farm Accident
The Indian
Alaskan Birthday Party
Mexican Bandit
Custer's Last Thoughts
Remember a child
Fight competition
Children and Cars
His Holy Crossword
Get in Line
Gloves for His Love, circa 1910
Lucky Driver
Free Sex With Gas
Freudian Slips
Southern Hospitality in Flight
Family Tradition and Motorcycle Maintenance
Cheap Trick Payback
Truck Driver & The Bikers
Watch What You Say
BB Boys
Chillin' Biddies
Church
The Cork
Cemetery
Marital Bliss
Three Nuns

Goony bird

5.4K 132 48
By bookworm14ful

After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day.

The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband’s attention, he’d just shrug her off with some bored comment.

This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth.

The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported “Goony bird” and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he exclaimed, “Goony bird! The table!”

Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, “Goony bird! The shelf!”

Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds.

“Wow!” said the wife, “If this doesn’t attract my husband’s attention, nothing will!” So she bought the bird and took it home.

When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game. “Honey!” she exclaimed, “I’ve got a surprise for you! A Goony bird!”

The husband, in his usual bored tone replied, “Goony Bird, my foot!”

(A/N: Ok! How many of you guys actually get this one? ^-^)

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