A/n: Prepare for the tissues.
--
Camila's POV
It was time. I made my way confidently to Lauren's. I stood up tall, with my chest and nose high in the air, ready to confront her. I've been wanting too since the day after the party. Ever since I gave Darren that little "speech," about choice, I realized that I still had one. And this was because even though, I knew Lauren was trying to use me, I was almost 92% positive that she was feeling something towards me. So I had to ask her. There was a reason why she saved me and just me. A reason why she never wanted to let me go. A reason why she hasn't cut the cord yet. And I had to know why.
As I made it to her doorstep, my hands began to feel sweaty, signaling that beneath my bravery I was truly a coward. I shook it off and knocked on the door anyway. It took no time for the door to swing open and reveal Lauren. She wore her cute bunny slippers, a black the 1975 t shirt and pink pj shorts. Her hair was up in a loose ponytail, but still overall looked stunning. I stood there like a starstruck idiot as she kept her intense gaze on me. After a few seconds, she grabbed my wrist and forcefully pulled me into her house. She quickly locked the door, then pushed me up against the wall. She put her hands in my waist as she held me in place and crashed our lips together aggressively. I stayed idle, trying to fight her off, because I wanted to get straight to the point.
"Llllaurrrennn." I mumbled over her lips. She ignored me.
"Llauurrenn." I tried again.
She pulled away briefly and said, "Stop talking." before she shoved her tongue down my throat.
Fuck.
I calmed into the kiss and reciprocated it. When she noticed the change in my behavior she calmed and ran her hands down to my butt. Her hands grazed upon the fabric of my jeans before she gave it a light squeeze. I squirmed a bit because of the contact. She noticed and put one of her legs in between mine to keep me in place against the wall. Her upper thigh was hitting against my front innocently. The contact caused me to throb? What the hell? Why am I throbbing? Then it hit me. I quickly pushed her off me and caught my breath.
She wiped her lips with the pad of her thumb and asked, "Are you okay?"
I shook my head lightly and got myself together, " Yeah. I just...lets get done what we need to do first. Then we can talk and stuff."
She smirked mischievously, "Oh I won't just be talking Cabello."
I chocked on my own saliva. Then played it off by clearing my throat. I rolled my eyes and said, "Whatever. Let's just get this project over with."
"Alright but just to get it out of the way, then there won't be anything to interrupt us anymore." She smirked, then pulled me into her room.
There I gave her the lyrics and she created the music. She was actually really good at it. Her and her djing skills I mean. She always knew what went well together and what didn't. She was truly amazing and I couldn't believe that our song came out this good. All that was left was to practice it. Lauren and I distributed the parts within ourselves equally. Apart from singing, my job was to play the guitar and her job was to manage the music she created in order to play in the background of the guitar. I had a good feeling about this song, not simply because it was great but because she had no idea what it was about. This was one of the things I loved about Lauren, apart from her intelligence and beautiful mind, she was oblivious as fuck. And thankfully for me, that was a good thing. Sure, she was able to figure out that I had a crush on her and she used that to her advantage but she never looked in between the lines. Nor wasted the effort to dig under the surface. Which thankfully, has been giving me the opportunity to keep hiding my love.
"Leave my heart out of this..." I finished singing the last verse of our song.
She set her lap top beside her and grinned.
"Why are you grinning like that?" I asked her.
"Because we're done." She simply said, smiling like an idiot.
Crap.
"Oh right. I should get going now then." I said begging to gather my things and trying to leave subtlety.
"Camz." Lauren said putting her hand over mine. "Stay. I want you to stay."
"Bu-"
"But nothing. You're staying."
"Lauren-"
"I want you to stay." She said more firmly.
"Why?"
"Because you know why." She said piercing through my soul with her green orbs.
Shit.
I scratched the nape of my neck nervously, "Did you hear that? I think my moms calling me." I said pointing next door.
She stifled a laugh, " Nice try, Cabello. But either way I guess she'll have to wait because-"
I gulped.
In a swift move she moved her laptop, notebook and many other school supplies that were between us with her forearm, straight off her bed. She then slowly prowled over to me, and whispered in my ear, "Your mine tonight."
"Lauren-"
"Shh." She shushed me then connected our lips. Signaling that she wanted me to shut up. Her supple, blissful kiss didn't last. She quickly switched gears and forcefully laid me on her bed. She then hoped onto me and straddled my waist. She stood upright and quickly slipped out of her T-shirt and threw it to the side. I looked at her pale, smooth, perfect skin wide eyed. Her red bra helped her cleavage pop out more, and made her skin look as white as snow. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Her body was surely carved by the blade of Jesus because no one is this perfect. None the less, I restrained myself from touching her. Although my heart and inner goddess were ecstatic, my head was telling me to back the fuck off before I do something stupid. Before I listened to my brain, Lauren had beat me too it by latching her lips onto mine. I fought a little by trying to squirm away but she kept me in place by pinning my arms against her mattress. "Lauren-" I tried to say before she shoved her tongue in my mouth.
Oh my god. I'm loosing it. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Her hand began to skip under my shirt, she ran it over my abdomen all the way up to my lower chest. She removed her mouth from mine and hovered over my ear. "Stop fighting me babe."
I began to pant. "Lauren please st-"
"No." She simply said.
"No?"
She cupped my face and looked me directly in the eyes, "No." She firmly said before she crashed our lips together again. She ran her hand down my abdomen sneakily unbuttoned my jeans. I knew what she was going to do, and as much as I wanted her too, I couldn't. Not yet. Not while this means nothing to her. I quickly pushed her off me and squirmed to the other side of her bed. I rested my head against her dashboard and caught my breath. And before I knew it I was crying. This sudden overwhelming sadness and renching heart break came over me.
"What's wrong?" Lauren asked in concern.
"This! Everything!" I managed to blurt out.
"What?" Lauren asked in total confusion. "Did I go to far?"
I shook my head lightly and tried to suppress my tears.
"Camz... talk to me."
I shook my head no.
"Camz..." She said as if she was scolding me.
"Ugh. Just Fuck off Lauren." I said not realizing how harsh my tone had been.
She looked hurt but none the less, was angry. She managed to put on a glare that burned through me, "I don't understand you. You're not like everyone else. Why do you always freak out when I touch you or kiss you? Why don't you just let me do things to you? Why do you always do this instead?" She said gesturing at me.
"Don't you get it Lauren?!" I practically yelled at her.
"No!" She yelled back. "You're like a fucking mystery!-"
"-I'm FUCKING IN LOVE WITH YOU. YOU IDIOT." I blurted out in anger not realizing what I had just said.
My eyes grew wide as I panted. "Shit." I cursed to myself.
She looked like a deer caught in the head lights. Her jaw was dropped in shock as her eyebrows furrowed in concern and thought. She was piecing the pieces together, she had to be.
"What?" She managed to say.
I didn't say anything and averted her gaze.
"You... You can't be in love with me Camila." She simply said looking deeply into my eyes.
"W-why?" I asked fearing her answer.
"Because... I'm no good for you. We don't belong together. You and I... we're too different."
I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. My jaw dropped in shock at the words I feared to hear my whole life. My tears were rolling down my cheeks effortlessly now. I shook my head lightly and stifled a chuckle, "God I'm so stupid."
"No Camz. You just fell in love with the wrong person." She smiled sadly at me.
"I didn't. I fell in love with Lauren Jauregui. Not Lauren the prep, the cheerleader, captain of the softball team, or the Asb president but Lauren Jauregui, the person."
She furrowed her brows and shook her head lightly. "No Camz. No."
"Yes Lauren. Yes."
"You can't be in love with me!"
"Why not?!"
"You know why!"
"Because you're afraid of what everyone will think? Because you're so worried about ruining your reputation? Because I'm not like you?!" I practically yelled my soul out.
She nodded in agreement, "Yeah, because I'm Lauren Jauregui-."
"And I'm bows."
"Yeah but it's not you Camz, it's-..."
"Bullshit. Just leave me alone. Don't talk to me. Don't look at me. Don't even...think about me ever again. Whatever this was, it's over now." I said hopping off her bed and making my way out. I was about to open the door when she stopped me by grabbing my wrist.
"Don't go." Lauren almost pleaded.
I turned to look at her.
"Don't let me." I said with desperation in my voice.
"Camz..." She breathed, then shook her head lightly as if she was contemplating with herself.
"Goodbye Lauren." I managed to say before I walked out of her life forever.
Or at least that's what I thought.