POV CLARY
Getting out of my bunk, the guys were all in the front chatting it up. Today was my first concert with them, and I was nervous as hell. Simon did end up getting me back, but by tickling me half to death. The concert was in about two hours and we had to start getting ready. I went through my draw and picked out a pair of blue jean shorts, and a boostiea that had two rows of studs on the bra part. I found my other pair of boots that matched the top and changed my naval piercing. The piercing was black and dangled into a skull with two guitars.
Fixing my hair, adding a little lotion on my body. Walking out of the bathroom, the guys were ready. Jace, Alec, and Jordan were shirtless and wore a pair of jeans. Simon were shorts and a loose fitting black band shirt. We all just looked at each other, all sensing each other's nervousness and hyperness. Dan came to the bus, telling us it was time for sound check, and then we would meet some of the fans, then some time. Walking into the building I can see the line already starting to go around the block.
"Nervous?" A voice said behind me, I slightly turned my head to see Jace standing there looking at the fans.
"Not as much I thought I was. Just seeing them, makes this so much more real." He nods and we catch up to the other guys. Tuning and running a dry through of a couple of songs, we had to get off stage after an hour. Dan ushered us into a room, with a few fans, smiling and almost hyperventilating. I wouldn't say they 'attacked' us but more like really excited. We all took breaths and walked up to them.
"Hi." I said, slightly waving my hand. "I'm Clary, new guitarist."
"Hi!" One said way too eagerly. I smiled as everyone got into their own topics with the fans. Soon it was photo shot time with each and every fan that was in here. Which were like twenty to twenty-five of them, I noticed very few males. But they seem to perk up when they saw me. Each fan had their own story, and it was incredible as to what they've been through and what they've been going through. Some even came to tears, and I hugged them, slightly smiling and telling them it was okay to cry sometimes.
I seriously already love a lot of the fans. Most of the photo shoot, Jace had his arm around my shoulder and we all posed for the camera. Nobody was really touching each other, except when I would wrap my arm around a fan, and that Jace had his arm around my shoulders. It wouldn't be anything, if I could get it out of my mind that he had his arm around me. His skin hot to the touch, and left my shoulder with goose bumps when he took it off and everyone move, switching places to change up the order with some fans.
Most of the time though Jace was touching me, even if there was a fan between us. His hand was either touching me or when we were really close, his body. It was like he was testing me or something, seeing if he got a reaction out of me. Which I was good at hiding my emotions, he didn't get any. After the photo shoot and all the fans had left the room, we were talking about some of the fans and their stories. Sharing and feeling bad for them, but knowing that we're helping them. With our music, with what we stand for. Yeah, I was completely new to the band, but I knew what they stood for and what we all felt for our fans.
"Show TIME!" Dan yelled, opening the door. With one last glance at each other, we huddled together. Hands in the middle, on top of each other's.
"So, we just met wonderful fans, we heard their stories. Let's get out there and provide them with the best show they've been too. Let's honor them, with what we do. We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them. 1, 2, 3! To the best show!" We yelled the last part, and threw our hand up in the air. Jordan, Alec, and I putting our instruments on, I put on my head piece. Simon went first, sitting the cheers go louder and he threw his hands up in the air. Lightly beating the brums as everyone else went out. Jace was next, then Jordan and me, then Alec. Simon kept beating, as Jace talked.
"How you doin', Erie?" He yelled, as the fans got louder, screaming.
"We have to introduce, someone before we begin!" We walked over to me, throwing an arm around my shoulder bringing me closer to the front of the stage. "Everybody! This is Clary, our newest member!" I threw up my arm and smiled.
They yelled, and I could feel my smile get bigger. Jace nods to me, and I went back to my starting mark. Jace banged his head three times, letting us to know to start at the third nod. With the first cord, I strummed, I was in the zone. Jordan, Alec, and I walked about the stage, jumping at certain points, where we could all feel the music. Jace was jumping most of the time, running around, climbing things. It was an experience; it got to the point where Jace and I had to do our duets. They switched my head piece for a microphone in front of me. Jace and I standing next to each other, he looked down at me as to ask the silent question 'You ready?' I slightly nod and we begin the music.
[Jace/ Clary/ both]
I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought hey
You know, this could be something
'Cause everything you do and words you say
You know that it all takes my breath away
And now I'm left with nothing
So maybe it's true that I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one
I remember every look upon your face
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
I'm finally now believing
Then maybe it's true that I can't live without you
And maybe two is better than one
But there's so much time to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking two is better than one
I remember what you wore on the first day
You came into my life and I thought, hey (hey, hey)
Maybe it's true that I can't live without you
Maybe two is better than one
There's so much time to figure out the rest of my life
And you've already got me coming undone
And I'm thinking, ooh, I can't live without you
'Cause, baby, two is better than one
There's so much time to figure out the rest of my life
But I'll figure out with all that's said and done
Two is better than one, two is better than one
During the song, Jace and I had gotten closer and we were, like singing to each other. I could hear the fans, but I only saw Jace. I saw him set his jaw, before he smirked and turned to the crowd. I looked at the crowd and a lot of them had lighters out and camcorder. I guess he got something out of singing with me. That was the last song; we wanted to see what the fans had thought about me singing with Jace.
Apparently they loved it. We were up on stage for about two hours, and I wasn't even tired. I wanted to do more; I wanted to stay on the stage. Jace gave this little speech about not being alone and surviving this cruel world. That one day they'll find what their meaning in the world was. The rest of us were looking out at the crowd, the way they held on to his every word. I looked over at Alec who smiled at me, and gave me a thumbs up. I smiled back, and nod.
I didn't really like when I smiled, it felt fake to me. My smile, I nevered smiled like the ones in those family pictures I had. I knew I didn't, no one could bring that smile back but them. I thought about how my brother would be so proud of me, and how if he was still here he would be my biggest fan.
When Jace was finally done, 'talking' to the fans, we left the stage with one last good bye. All the guys looked pretty hyped up; Jordan, Simon, and Alec went to 'mingle' with the fans. Jace and I just went back to the bus, clasping onto the couch/ bench we had.
"Holy hell that was fun." I said, leaning my head back 'smiling'.
"The fans loved you." Jace said, moving over some leaning against the wall.
"Hahaha, I think they're just excited they were at a Golden Boy's concert. But I can see where you're getting at." I lift up my head, to see him slightly smirking at me.
"What's up with the smirking?" I questioned, turning towards me.
"Are you so into yourself, that you can't see what is right in front of you?" I knew my face showed confusion, because Jace started laughing. Interbody, I melted at the sound of that. Outerbody, I still was confused.
"Apparently. Anyways, if you don't want to see the guys getting it on. We might want to hide out in our bunks." He said pointing to the back of the bus.
"We need to set rules..." I said shaking my head, and getting up. Jace followed me back, I didn't know until now that he was in the bunk above me.
"Rules?" He questioned, as he lift himself into the bunk.
"Yeah, like... the back room for sex and not bunks. Like how uncomfortable is that? Is such a small space not being able to move around." Jace smirked at me, looking at the floor then back up to me.
"It can be done. Besides, room isn't what someone is thinking when they're trying to get it done." I laughed and nod, getting into my bunk.
"What time did Dan say that we needed to be back on the bus?" I questioned, I forgot to look at the time table he set up.
"The bus moves at 4, the girls need to be off and guys on when 4 hits." 4 in the morning, okay.
"I've slept most of the day, I am not tired." I mentioned, getting out of the bunk then making my way to the front fixing me a sandwich.
"I nevered said go to sleep. I said, just be in the bunk when they get back. Trust me you don't want to see or hear them." Jace called, from the back of the bus. Which made me wonder why was he on the bus? Shouldn't he be out there, like they were getting girls.
"Hey, can I ask you a question?"
"Shoot."
"Why aren't you out there trying to get a girl?" I walked back, taking a bite out of the sandwich. He didn't say anything, so I finished my sandwich and crawled back in my bunk. Putting my ear buds in and turning up the music as I heard the door open and slam shut with giggling girls.
I closed my curtain and listened to the lyrics. Somehow I hoped it wouldn't be like this every night, being in here stuck and alone. I wanted to talk to someone, but Jace is in his bunk ignoring the world like I was.
Something about Jace, didn't fit right. I don't know how to explain it to myself, all the meetings we had, and talking about nothing, really. I remembered when we were talking about writing a couple songs for the next album with duets. Even talked about me becoming a plain singer with Jace and played guitar at some different parts of the concert. And sometimes the way, Jace looked at me. Even if it was blocked from his wall he had up, I could always see a glimpse of something.
*Flash back*
Sitting across each other, in my apartment. We were the only ones here, and we both been staring at all the songs they had, trying to figure out which ones would make for perfect duets.
"This sucks." I say, leaning back until I reached the sofa behind me to lean on.
"I say. These songs weren't really meant for a girl to sing." Jace said picking up on and reading some of the lyrics. 'when the sun came up I was sneakin' her home and draggin my butt to work with the smell of her perfume on my shirt, I'd be on the tractor she'd be on my mind, with that sun beatin' down on this back of mine'
"That's a guy's song to sing." I couldn't agree more, most of these songs were songs that would be sung to girls. But some did have that leanace, for me to sing.
"Well, I guess that's my problem being in a band full of guys. But yeah, it's only a test run right? Maybe I could bring some of my songs from my room and we fix them up and tell the fans here is some new singles or something. It could help right?" He shrugged, and I went to get the songs.
Once I handed them to him, he read a few of him. I guess when he read enough he looked up at me.
"These are really good, are you sure you want to change them?" I nod, and try hiding the blush that seemed to past. I moved to sit next to him, as we sang different lyrics, working our way through the songs and come to an understanding.
That was when everything fully changed, like a common love for something changed everything. Jace started to talk more, and we would share these looks. That I don't know the meaning behind. I wish I could read Jace's mind. Whooo... Maybe not. There was a tap on my curtain and I opened it Jace was there. I took out my ear bud and looked at him.
"Can I come in?" He looked a little nervous, but I just moved so I was on my side and my back was pressed against the wall. He came in shutting the curtain and just stared at each other for a moment. He now had some relaxing looking bottoms on, but still shirtless. He lay on his side too, leaving plenty of room between us.
"So..." I said, looking at the spot where his hand laid.
"Rather talk to someone and create my own distraction, then hear the guys." He said shrugging, I laughed.
"Okay. So... Instead of asking to go somewhere, you wanted to come in my bunk?" He smirked, and looked at me.
"You know you like me in your bed." I rolled my eyes, and placed my head in my hand.
"A little cocky, uh?" He chuckled, and looked above him. Double taking when he saw the picture. Taking it down, he looked at it. I mentally cursed myself, as he searched the picture.
"Your family?" He whispered, slightly looking at me, but quickly back at the picture. Running his finger over it.
"Yeah." I whispered back, looking anywhere but him at the moment.
"How old are you in this picture?"
"Nine." He nods, and places it back up with I had it.
"Ten years ago. Why don't you have a newer picture?"
"It was a rememberable moment in my life. I keep this one to remember." He nods and then looks at me.
"You don't smile like that anymore." He noticed? Rather, he can tell? He couldn't have been paying attention to me that much.
"I was young, life didn't destroy anything yet." He nods.
"I understand that. What did life destroy for you?" He seemed like he really cared, about what happened to have me change so much. But I didn't fully trust him yet.
"Just, something really bad happen. I've healed a little, but it still gets to me, you know?" He slightly nod and places his hand on mine. My hand started tingling again, he quickly moved it away. Did he feel that too?
"Yeah, I get what you mean. I was in pieces when I went to live with Alec and his family, but slowly I'd grown into what I am today. Little things that be back before that time, but I can't let it control my life. So I don't let it, you shouldn't let your past haunt you forever."
"If you don't mind me by asking. How did you end up with Alec and his family?" He looked at the wall behind me, seeming distant.
"I was ten when it happened. My parents were killed, and in their will they wanted me to live with the Lightwoods if anything were to happen while I was young." He was just like me, but he got a home. A place that didn't throw him away if they got tired of him. He got a family that loved him, while I jumped from foster home to foster home. Just getting to use to living with the family, but then gone. So I didn't get close to anyone, knowing I would soon have to leave. Which led me to New York, where the last family I've been with lived. Somehow I felt more than jealous of his life. He had people who cared about him, all I had was Magnus and now this band.
Maybe he will understand, I bit my lip and took down the picture.
"My brother Jonathon, he is 11 in this picture. That's my stepdad, Luke. And my mom, Jocelyn. This was my ninth birthday party a day in the park. This picture doesn't show it, but recently my parents had become protective. I was too young to know why, but my brother did. He basically was my body guard from the time I woke up and the time we fell asleep." I looked at Jace, and he was staring at the picture, I could tell he was listening contently to the story.
"The following week, I spent the night at a friend of mine house. I was happy, it was my first sleep over. Well, when I came back... I noticed it was too quite in the house for it to be as late as it was in the day. So I searched the house. They were in the family room; bloody, blood was everywhere, Luke looked like he was shielding my mom and my brother. My mom and brother were holding each other. Finding them, like that, I was young. It still flashes in my eyes every once in a while. The cops hasn't found the murderer, they say it was a break in. But now, being older, it wasn't. Someone purposely killed them." I hadn't notice I was crying, until Jace reached his hand up and brushed the tears away.
"Hey, don't cry." He said gently, bringing my head to his chest, rubbing my back. I gently laughed after a while of him holding me.
"I'm sorry, Jace. I didn't mean to break down like that." He shook his head, pushing a lock of my hair behind my ear.
"Don't be sorry for mourning your family. I do some times; I miss my father more than anything. I miss how my life was before I lived with Alec. But I love how my life is turning out. Clary, I know this is hard to hear, but you need to get over the death of your family. It's been ten years, I think it's time just to remember the good times and enjoy your life now. That's part of you, but don't let it hold you back."
"That's the thing Jace, I can't. You had people to talk to, to help you feel better. Me? I moved to foster home to foster home, if I was lucky enough I stayed with the family more than 3 months. No one was there to help me get over their deaths. You had someone; you had a family who wanted you enough not to send you away. My family is the only thing I had to hold onto. I couldn't get close to any of those families, because as soon as I would, I was gone. Music was my only thing I have to hold on that was real."
"That's it, Clary. You're 19, old enough to make your life whatever you want. Forget everyone that you've lived with. You have 5 guys who care for you. I don't understand how someone can give you up. You got into all of our hearts so fast, you did that. Just live in the now, forget the past."
"5?" He slightly smiled.
"Magnus and the band of course. Who else?" I slightly laughed, I like talking to Jace while he was like this. That's when I realized that we were still pretty close and his hand was on my hip.
"Family." I smiled up at him and he smiled back at me. It was a true smile, not the 'award winning' fake he gives everyone. He seemed to search my face for something, before I could question what. He pressed his lips to mine. I was shocked for a moment, but kissed back. I haven't kissed anyone like this before. It felt more right than anything, like this was supposed to happened. All the other kisses I had felt nice, but nothing like this.
When we pulled apart, we were both breathing hard. Jace got a stupid look on his face.
"Wow." I breathed, he smiled and nod. Then leaned to kiss me again, his hand pressed firmly on my back bringing me closer to him. Using his lips he opened mine, lips open and closing in rhyme with each other. My hand was on his arm, he rolled so that he was on top of me. I put my hands in his hair, pulling it a little. In the back of his throat I heard a groan.
He pulled away, then shook his head, moving out of my sight. But I still felt his body.
"I am sorry, Clary. I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry." I wanted to shake my head, to tell him it was alright but it wouldn't come out. I think he wanted an answer, but what was I going to tell him? That that kiss was different, that the kiss was amazing, or crush everything as flip out on him?
I turn to look at him, but he wouldn't even look me in the eye. He didn't leave either, you wouldn't think because I didn't say anything that he would leave. How could I get over this awkwardness?